HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Signal, 1882-11-10, Page 7THE HURON SIGNAL, FRIDAY. NOV. 10, 1882.
Fun and Fsncv.
Jones thinks a maa fortunate who has
his win oustested alter death only. He
says his will has boss oostestd eves
sister he carried Kra Junes.
"What are yuu gdng to do when you
grow up: itou dost know how to
cipher r asked • to ether of • rather slow
buy. "I am going to be school teacher,
aad make the boys do all the cypher -
leg," was the reply.
It is related that President 8egnier
was always hard upon the lawyers When.
the docket was being called mos day it
was found that both advoostes in • coo
talo cue w about. "Ou on with it,
thou, cried smote
e president, in high spi-
rits; "go on with it; we shall have a
chance of getting at the truth."
A dry goods clerk, with s very affect-
ed gait, had to At* a distant pari of
the stere for some goods for a party of
feminine customers. 'Walk this way,
ladies," he called, as he swung himself
off "But we can't walk that way,"
cried a pert miss; "we never learned
that style, you know." The clerk is now
drilling on • more common method.
An elderly resident, of Newtown, was
appy ached by an agent for a cyclopedia
"I guess I won't get one," said the el-
derly citizen, and frankly added, "1
know I never could learn to ride one of
the peaky things."
It was at the house of the bride's pa-
rents after the wedding. On • table
were exposed the costly presents. Two
gentlemen were ezamintag them. Said
one of them suddenly: "Thane, you say,
are the bride's presents, but what does
the groom get r' "Oh,'' id the
other, "he gets the woman." First rn-
tleman: "Is that all 1 Poor fellow !'
READY WIT.—Toe jester attached
to the oourt of Peter the Gnat of Russia
was remarkable for his ingenuity in ex-
tricating himself and others from trou-
ble. A cousin of his, on one occasion,
had fallen under the Czar's displeasure,
and was about to be executed The jes-
ter presented himself at oourt to petition
for a reprieve. On seeing him enter the
chamber of state. and divining his ar
rand, the mouarch shouted to him—"It's
of no use coining here; I swear that I
will net grant what you are ming Is
:.sk." Quick as tboughtthe fun dropped
on his knees, •ndexolaimrl--"I beseech
your Imperial • Highness to put that
scamp of a omat u of mine to death.,'
Peter, thus cart-lht In his own trap, had
no choice but to laugh, and sent a par-
don to the offender.
1 lsdlabde Wtratres.
Mr. White, iatepr'oprietor of the Man-
sion Saloon, KiAg Street, Turonto, w ri t es
as follows shout Dr. Canton's Stomach
and Constipation Bitters: "I have used
Dr. Canon s dwnt•eb Bitten for nearly
two year, and I believe it to be the best
medicine in the worts. I would not be
without it for anything. I have induoed
scores of people to try it, and when
taken according to directions, I have
never known, it to fail. I call the Bit-
ters, 'The Doctor.' It has certainly
been my family doctor ever since I first
used it, and will centinno to be as long
as it acts the same as hitherto. I strong-
ly advise ell my friends and the polder
generally, who suffer from any affections
of the Stomach, Rowels, Liver or Blood,
such as Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Liver
O omplaiat, Headache, 1)iasine•s, Cos-
tiveness,'Impurities of the Blood, Rheu-
matism, Neuralgia,. etc. , to buy a bottle
f 'The Doctor, and 1 am certain that
not one will regret having done so. I
do not thing there ia any medicine in
the whole world equal to Dr. Carton's
Stomach and Coastipatiou Bitters."
(Signed,) Jae. Wntrrf. Sold in large
tx,ttles at 50 cents by all druggists,
is Proem A nob?
Buffalo, N. Y., Oct. 29.—A Washing-
ton correspondence writes . An impor-
tant omission has been discovered in the
famous treaty of Vt ashiagton which
threatens to affect seriously an impor-
tant American industry by leaving it un-
protected, and may cause our Govern-
ment to lose thousands of dollars on
duties which would otherwise have been
collected. The demand for frogs as an
article of food in cities has increased so
largely cif late that the domestic supply
has been found insufficient a brisk trade
in these amphibious animals has aprons/
up with Canada, and large o umbers are
being shipped across the border to
American dealers. The action of cer-
tain Customs collectors, however, thrat-
ens to put an end to this traffic if their
rulings are sustained by tho Treasury
Department. Under the provisions of
the treaty of Washington fish caught in
Canadian waters have been edmiUd to
the United States free of duty. The
Canadian dealers insist that frogs at e fiah,
and therefore exempt; the American Cus-
toms officers object to this claaification,
and hold the. fish were never known to
have feet, while the subject of dispute
has four. To this she Canadians reply,
that if frogs ate net kah, they aro cer-
faip` pot Mtimmis nor lie's, end oagnot
be suttjeetet bo olasei$eafli n for duty.
The .nMter has been referred to the
Treasury Department for a decistnn, but
Is At exillilkid that Secretitf7, Felgef
will sttetttot to give an opitlintt nerd
after the election -- h.rnirhly not then,
for fear of foreign complication s—and
the tttstldeer will drably be referred to
eer
Words of t 'Wisdom.
Sorrow may .ordure for a eight.
Joy mouth la the moraine.
He who knows must, grieves most fur
misted time.
The must profound joy has more of
gravity in it.
`11s death to me to be at meaty
I bate it. and desire all goad sea's by..
They say women and music should
never oe dated.
God created the coquette as soon aa he
had insole the fool.
Better • day of strife
Tues • (eatery of sleep.
Among (mortals, second thoughts are
the wisest.
The man oho stumbles twice on the
same stone is a fou'.
And as birds drink and straight life up the.
head,
So may I sip, aad think
Of better drink
I sou attals to atter I ss dead.
What is mind 1 No matter. What ia
matter 1 Never mind. What is the
soul 1 It is immaterial.
The word that oboe eeoapes the tongue
cannot he recalled ; the arrow cannot be
detained which has once escaped from
the bow.
Suffering is the surtat way of snaking
us true to ourselves.
He who for love has undergone
The worst than can befall,
L happier thousand -told than one
Who sever loved at all.
The secreta of lifeare not shown except
to sympathy and likeness.
Show me the man you honour. I know
by that system, better than any other,
what you are yourself. For you show
me then what your ideal of manhood is,
what kind of a man you long inexpressi-
bly to be.
There are two ways of being happy.
We may either diminish our wants or
augment our means. The result is the
ame, and it is for each man to decide
for himself and to do that which may
happen to be the easier.
A rat guawed a hole in the gas pt's in
the window of Wade's drug store, King-
ston. The plumber struck a match to
see where the leak was and caused an
explosion, doing considerable damage
There is so doubt about it, that Dr. t
VAN Bcute's KIDNEY CUES is the only
known remedy that science has bestowed
upon mankind that wilt positively cure
kidney diseases Ask aur druggist for it.
Sold by J. Wilson Goderich. 2m:
A R.WAkD—Of one dozeu " TaAaett-
ee" to any one sending the best four line
rhyme on "Tsassaay," the remarkable
little gem for the Teeth and Breath. Ask
your druggist for address.
It was rather • remarkable coincident*
that the eighty-seventh Psalm, appoist;M•
by the Episcopalian prayer took for We
Sunday evening sereice the week of the
British victory in Egypt contained the
following passage: "Thou hast subdued
Wt and destroyed it. Thou hast scat -
thine enemies abroad with thy
mighty arm."
Te tore Medical Profession. and all wases
It may mama.
Phusphatine, or Nerve 1' ooa, s Phos-
phate Element based upon licientifc
Facts, Formulated by Professor Austin,
M. D. of Boston, Mass., cures Pulmon-
ary Consumption, Sick Headache, Ner-
vous Attacks, Vertigo and Neuralgia
and all wasting diseases of the human
system. Phosphatine is not a Medecine,
but a Nutriment, because it contains no
Vegetable or Mineral Poisons, Opiates,
Narcotics, and no Stimulants, but simp
ly the Phosphatic and Oartric Elements
found in our daily food. A single bottle
is sufficient to convince. All Druggists
sell it. $1.00 per bottle. LowDSN &
Co., sole agents for the Dominion
66 Front Street East Toronto
In the House of Commons Dilke stated
that correspondence has taken place
with the United States iu regard to the
Newfonndland fisheries. but no arrange-
ment has yet been arrived at,
MIIIt.as Gives Away.
Millions of Bottles of Dr. King's New
Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and
Colds, have been given away as Trial
Bottles of the large size. This enormous
outlay would 1* disaatr us to the pro-
prietors, were it not for the rare mints
possessed by this wonderful medicine.
Call et Wilson's siren more, and get a
•Trial Bottle free. and try for yourself.
It never fails to curs. (6)
Mr. Win. Ranson, tit Sleuth Norwick,
says: For sixteen years I suffered from
Rilionenesa, never had any medicine
done me any penaanent good until re-
commended by our druq{ists. (.1. Wes -
leer Fish As Co , OtterviUe.) to try Dr
Careent'a Stomach and Constipation Bit-
ters, which hare done me more gond
than any medicine 1 have ever taken. I
would, with the utmost onsfidenee, re-
commend them to a ittflemeg from
Tionantes, etre. Sod by all Drugitiata at
50 cta. a bottle.
jse has tent a telegram to the
tag a continuator alai.
Ran litA p etecti.,. expressing
unalter.ble Ad fidelity.
/otiose* esrhraaeoe- e ,sad lesalioaMS.
, Thdollars can
11
by
OHIO
If
1167
spirits,
a
If yea are
ei ser Ysltdjunit low end despines, id 'st mama
Nso. e
aim
to see tho
theft will folio/it iM tt i iwill
• t tile; will
t1 pe'Ii
f Elector llOtero., Sold at
n M•ftle. hT Jag Witting'.
Ltinee—.Soars tat Asa Wil. a (11
it ' ,reliable that the foot tided gene
Med fulls %ill be
If ingrtes. and either nrrmte n R
lasari!•
iew
OM
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CHEAP GROCERIESI
S FT 1
D people Ooderieh and on of Huron, that he ha
p urohawd fountinue the busine in the old Ntand, his Mock of onst'and will
be
Corner of Victoria and Bruce Streets.
Having bought the gouda for cosh, and sa 1 intend to make all my purchases from
wholesale oxen fur cash also, I will be in • position to sell at
Very Low Prices for Cash
My Mock will always be fresh. 1 will keep the best brands of teak, geed sugars,
and everything in the grocery line from the beet prudeoBazar,ere• Bun, Spaced Yeats
etc. , always on hand in season. I am determined to please, both in quality and pts
porCall at the stand, Victoria street, opposite the Fair Ground, near D. K
i
er
d
G
Stes machine shop.
SWIFT_
uerob, March Otho 1882. D w
Extensive Premises and Splendid New Stock.
G-_ BARRY
CABINET MAKER AB IIJBERTAKER
Hamilton Street, Goderich.
A Meg Chain ( air, cans and assortment of Kitchen,
seatrdBed nl,t Cupboards, Bed-steadRoom and s Mattresses,r tture, each Wash-et*a
Lounges, Sofas, What -Note, Looking Glasses_
N. B.—A complete assortment of Caine and Shrouds always on handliblao Hearse' for b
at reasonable rate .
Picture Framing a specialty.—A esti solicited 1;51
BOOTS&SHOES
=)p WedeCtio'LZp
ile t. -announce to the Public that they have opened business in the above Stroe
in the .tore lately 000n ied by Horace Newton. Having purchased a large and
well assorted stock of Spring and Summer Goods at close figures, we are determined
t give the Public the benefit.
QUICK SALES & 811AI1L P80FITS WILL BE OUR ?MOTTO
odoPleaae call and examine our goods before purchasing elsewhere.
for -Remember tho place, next door to J. Wi'. en's Drug Store.
SA -Custom work will receive our special
no None hut the best el materiel used and first-class workmen employed.
toe -Repairing neatly dune on thee-leotteest notice.
Gntierich, March 9, 1 ss'l. D OI , • :1\4G & WED U P
Mr. Jas. Fulton, of Walton, hall a•1.1
his j.reperty there. He intends kecpinit
hotel in Winthrop, and will 0 0lllenee
-Smut the 1st of Nvveinher. In themean
•.ase the hotel is being fitted up for f:iut.
M. Fulton will make a genial a lid( Lli I
ging host.
Tree to Ner Trust.
Toro much cannot be said of the ever
faithful .wife and mother, constantly
watching and caring for her dear onea,
never neglecting a single duty in their
behalf. When they are assailed by dis-
ease, and the system should have a
thorough cleansing, the stomach and
bowels regulated, blood purified, and
m.larial poison ezter.nivatsd, she .oust
kw.* tlte' Electric Bitten are the duly
sure remedy. They are the beat and
purest medicine in the world and only
cost fifty cents. tioj.l tort'.T. Wilson. [4)
r,pyrga ldderarevee
:w a'tu.iall re►bed
,r. ii. t'.tT.i' :1lk, tins, Ut•oe
lhvl_ It it ori) ate ote+d
Y . ...bawesoftltegreat
GERMAN INVIGORATOR
w L.rb peslr,vetyy and perremaeu. , cures IIm-
i,.leaeg misused by excesses of any kind )
a.•s.lsal Weariness" and all diseases that fol-
luvv as a se.tae•oe of Self -Abuse, as lees of en-
e. e. ,w of memory, ar.iversal lassitude,
path
1I • . reback,
do anv tf rreness of vision.
leer prams-
' that
:..saa)ty or .aoWamption and a pronta-
nt urn wfth testJtnonlala free by
,'
o *ahltifilltATIPIR 1s sold at wt per
o- is `totes tor by all druggists, or
ere env mail, securely sealed, on
: ''•Hes. le. addressing.
F. J. CIIPINKY, Druggist,191 Summit St,-Tulo :r, Ohio
Ou.. P.NTwae,
Mole Agent for Ouderloh.
THE KEY TO HEALTH.
Unlocks all the clogged avenues of the
Bowels, Kidneys and Liver. carrying
Or gradually without wakening the system,
all the impurities and foul humors of the
secretions ; at the seri time Des
Acidity of the atiO111A0h, curi
ss'yey in g Diz-
ziness. Heartburn. Osnott%Uot.
Dryness of the Skin., Dim-
ness o(Vidon, Jeusliow Salt Rheum
Brysi 1sa, screfldla, Flnttscingo
the Heast. Nervousness and General
Debility; all these and many other simi-
Iofar ('8IIBDOObn nplunts teBLll OOD ii1T8to the hapt'y l du38urnc
•
Sample Bottles 10e ; Regular size $L
For sale by all dealers.
T. MIllitlid s. CP.. Proprietors. TeresN
fl VQWLLRS
3TRAWBERY'
Cum CholAnt,CAolorn car
oontiay, Camps, Colic, be -
twoseniitaMuna O..plaiat ; alas
Cliolora IR,Jiawtflrllw. aad & Com-
pose/sr hi ohiMnm Meth -
VIM
M 0sr o •
VW SAL! BY ALL Nile
T. te
MILBURN i Clay
Prnprieiors, T.eoeta•
xo
MANITOB14
The (treat Western Railway will run
their excursions to MANITOBA and
DAKOTA points during May and June
every two weeks, commencing T[7n8-
DAY May, 2nd, 1881.
Fares Reduced.
For reformation, tickets, etc., apply t
GEO. Bt JOHNSTON.
Special Agent Greet Wentern Railway
(loderieh, Ont
Goderich. April. 2e.. yvert. 1855.
MRSI WaRVOfN
Bege to acquaint the ladies of Goderich
vicinity. that she Is now showing
Spans ad Sasser Militaery
At ber shop, Hamilton Street, in great and
beautiful variety. She has ,curet- the ser-
vices ora city milliner, and feels assured that
she .an give
SATSIFAC T I ON
IN BOTH
STYLE AND MAKE.
She ho .c' to be favored with • visit from her
patron.. and the ladles generally.
MPS. WARN()CK.
HALL'S
IIATARRHIURE
,mac,... Y-- arzic r --a-,
le Recommended by Ptralrtana.
C1712.1243
.atarrh of the Nissl (gaily (,Leask asd inroadhp
1.atarrh of the Ear. E ts or Throat I`` h t',k..
INTERNALLY, an( arts DIRECTLY epos
the ac
Blood sad Mon ° acett of the System. t the be .t NOR./
a the WORLD, lad Is wort), All
that it charged for It. fa
THAT •lona.
Tit-.
MI cook CURE FOR CATARRH
is IN TSIN MANKKT Art
100 ws 7far EQ2 br aq e , ,t
Oaten. tt s:;1 ate :ut $100
• lVRLI A)rrt, . Mt., awns Es, Leos,
Ly littis ...'Ritter was troe:w with batary'tt
tr t+o )e T. ..n 1 woo ser, tL r;'1 b.n.atted by
tee ate n1 ' lira '. Caiatra cm+" Shs Is now
saes carol. W. T. HOUSE.
WRt.r.Avn, On, , Horeb ant, MP&
lhays titled " Halle UstarchCurs,' and 1udg.
t7 from site `sod moults 1 desired from one
.til., be'Iwe It wiltcurethe mn•t etueboeu
... of aearrb 11 IN nes be eonttnn.d for a
• awwbie loopth of t(ms.
W. (I. HELLEYa
WALLArn, Ont., Horeb 151. 1S88.
' ► Cwaaee & 1'.... T,drder. .1.
Nowt -Mete sold Hall', Cetarrb Cars for trite
et) ear. sod it rtes eosin ..tldMYes
Yours truly.
H W AOt4SON, Drente,.
fiall's Catarrh Cure
std by an Nbnlesale sed befall Drtfillists
and Dome's 1p 1/eotk. 1b
lb*II•Jso►d Melte sM OaedlslaAs.
a Cepa a Bottle. $4,09 a Doz.
The dimly esais C terrb Cans is rnso-
1assw/Ma by ►• J• Ts 00.. Teioly O.
itinlelserti of r-w-Yesa
MON. an tub. Oeiarte tads by
NOV. «0880N, Welland. Oat
GEORGE RHYNAS,
8.4 Agent, G.slerich
), (1. WILL PA% FOR THX ATOMa
,, •) pAo e free for the balmier, of
be of *nee sat se• fen tree*, of