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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Signal, 1882-09-29, Page 7ran anb Fancy. 1ltitafu's jewel lust stow is a (larnut. A ut.wut for w hath([ t duo aderod burst( A ts.Ner full of whiskey --A drunk- en acrt.taat. The only game that a grumbler in- dulges its is crak-eh. The acrobat in the Grow is really the teas who introduces the wing styles "The carps are backward," said the fes, as he slung the hen over his should- er. A missionary was asked the cause .I1 his poverty. "Principally bemuse 1 Wive preached es often without motes," he emit "Shall I her'eaft.niamyoar statkius 1'' is said to be fashionable hinges:4w for a young lady to use wheu (making • leap - year proposal. Mistreat: "Forget it 1 Why. I told you to impress it un your mita" Brid- get: '(It was on my )netted I Out it, omen, and my moind wint astray wid it." "What is love Y' ask. everybody, and somebody replies: "It s a feeling that you don't want another fellow fouling around her." "Amateur Gardener" wants to know the easiest way to utak° a hot house. Leave • bot of matches where the baby can play with them. "Mamma, what ia that old man work- ing so hard for l"---"Wby, to earn a liv- ing, mJ child. "--" But he is so old that when he has earned a living be won't be alive." "Your honor and gentlemen of the jury, I acknowledge the reference of the counsel of the other side to my gray hair. My hair is gray, and it will own- tinue to be gray as I live. The hair of that gentleman is black and will con- tinue to be black as lung as he dyes," A debtor who was sued by his credi- tor acknowledged that he had borrowed the money, but declared that the plain- tiff knew at the time that it was a Kath- leen Mavourneen loan. "A Kathleen Mavourneen brats," repeated the court with a puzzled leak. "That's it, judge ; one of the it may b. for yenta and it inay be forever' set" The fashionable Frame ladies at a wan .ring -place hotel a few rai_:ate .tar•, organ- ized a spelling bee. The (.else that were the most ex erosive jewelry 554 the worst speller, and twelve .out of die fuurteeu meat down on the w•.rd "separste.' "Phthisis" floored them all, and one of the oouks was called in to spell the word for them. A young lady who fondled a pull dols and wore diamond earring.) ata,ntatned that d-s-vr t was the way "doubt" was spelled when she went to school. A bridal ample hoarded the train out at Woodville. The groom was a tall, strapping fellow, sad squeezed the bride into a seat next the window. Some of the train hands who were posted put the newsboy up is )ringing in a box of baby rattles and offer the embarassed couple their choice for five cents. All sorts of excess were offered by the man as reasons for wet buying. Finally, he made a clew breast of the situation with, "See here, mister, I've only been married about fifteen minutes. Give us a chance. We don't want to set up housekeeper right here in the czar. Keep your tinware au' I'll be along next year, and it the returns are in to show for it satisfactorily I'll buy the hull caboodle." After many years of patient investiga- tion Dr. VanBuren, of Germany, finally succeeded in perfecting a Kidney Cure that would pennanently relieve all rases (.1 Kidney Disease. Be sure and ask I your Druggist for Dr. VANBCRENs 61D - NET Cc's. Sold by Jatnes Wilson, Goderich. 2m It is told that an old Baptist parson,' famous in Virginia, trace visited a plan- tation weer° the darkey who met him at the gate asked him which barn he would have his horse put in. " Have )you two barns?" asked the doctor. Yes, rah,' replied the darkey; "dar's de ole barn, and Matt'r Wales has jes built a new one. " " Where do you usually put the horses of clergymen who come to see your master !" ' Well, sah, if (ley's Methodic s or Baptist's we gen'ally put dem iia de ole barn; but if dey's 'Pinc.- s, we put em in de new one." "Well b, you can put my horse in the now barn; I'm a Baptist, but my burse is an Episco .alien Why ge en day after day suffering with splitting headaches when a (stele of Dr. Austin's Phosphatine will cure you '1 If you do not believe it ask your druggist for a circular—and read what those who have used it say about it. Price $1.00. 2m 1f the girl who isfishing tor a husband," says the Philadelphia Times, discussing husbaud fishing at the .mmmer resorts, which it says has been* failure, " makes any mistake, it is that of thinking that the young man who is looking for a wife wants a costly piece of goods ter show. Some young men want this, but there are few who can afford it and even those who can are in many instances afraid to yoke themselves to it. They know that a toot showy young woman, even if she have wealthy parents, is apt to be full of troublesome whims find of notions very difficult to satisfy. Even if they be so sordid that they would like to marry for money these young men know enough to reflect thst riches some- times take wings and go out of sight. They atop and consider that if there be wealth flies away and leaves nothing but the whims, the residue is an exceedingly undesirable piece of finery." TILE HURON 8I(, IAIJ, F ltit3rula Cr UsliSoUrrs. 'N...de ••1 it .Ae ere al 111.44 as steres - ear, te wens ie ILII 1 DIG. a petit life ae rub el kuel...-.s 4401 adeei l..u. Jo i- eiawa I reiw ie t,• ekildiv , a Li' the sun is t.. It •ear. 1'u du goo t which i. Iwdly -" ..1, a luau madam trues the L.ve tat .. ,, .,std not with a vier to reward hoe •u he,wtiter. Many a small man nov •r ce.taaa Lakin*. about the small orneriest'. he unites ; he is a great inan SILO a;att was :i a' er. thing and may melting..I As the shadow follows tits :Joky ii IMM r 1 the fairest s•:u'iykt, st wit t macaw done toawotit.•r I u:.... the soul in the it..urs .d prosperity. A Ramat Saesanc Ysaa. --T!ie year 18&& notions an's reds with emelwv. A Fyear gir died by a ..,We't bra. '.1 5$ Sala bbaaths ah.wht I o•tt iia sur tires worthy of ruuc .. .cc. "My boy,- .. . father t.. hu young am, 'area sith p.•litetless, even thole a Le are rude to you. For terns'''. ler th..l you .h..w c..urta.y to °then, trot bemuse they sir eemtlemen, but be cause you ate tee." For a boy to motet 41e rept. tine boldly, frankly, and at .once with a "N..,' which has a lamming in it, W a g,eat thing. Some boys will say "No,' but it is in such a half-hesttud s .3 that the tempter knows that it weans a tet!f "Yea.' This simply gives an invitation foe repetition of the solicitation, and makes elin°st cer- tain, too, the yielding. But a "N..," that is enforced by tune and look that tells that the word has its own true meaning settles largely the matter, or if it dues not settle it makes it certain that if the temptation come again it will be weaker and be will be stronger. The first "No," is a great thing. Dos'T US/ a CROOKED RULER —"The Bible is so strict and old fashioned," said a young tuna toes gray-haired friend, who was advising him to study God's to ord if he would learn how to live. "There ate plenty of books writteu'sow- adays that are moral enough in their teaching, and de riot bind one down as the Bible. The old 'Ler'chant turned L., his desk and to t....k out two rulers, one of a hieh west alightly lent ; with each of these he rnktl a hu.'. and silent- ly handed the ruled 1 al).•r 10 bis 1,0111- I 11111111111. , to- Iruivo. "A'ell,' WWI flit lad ; ' what do you mean !' "One line is stet strni;clat and true, i• it 1 Whet, , you mark ..tat your p.tth in life, do not take a cte,.,lvd ruler." t.00u HABIT/4. —Habits of temperance, eaouuuty, truthfulness, honesty, gene- rosity, "nee thneeahly engrafted upon the life of an individual, will accomplish for him shat ytare of seeking and ed.":t without thew would fail to pro.lu.•e-. They will open wide for him .he ¢a:•!e of success, ..f honor, of respect, 1.1 a:foc- tion, through which so many seek in vain to e,•ter. Working spont lneously and Mutest unct'nsciously as they will after constant and intelligent culture, they release the power that produced thein for still higher efforts ; they form it foundation on which to build, without fear td overthrow, all the finest traits of excellence ; they prepare the way for pr"erasaive virtue, and for the beauty of go..dnesa which is so rare, but so ad- ntirable. Samson lost his strength with his hair. Thousands of men and women loose their beauty with theirs, and very largo numbers restore the ravazes of time by using the famous Cingaleee HairRest"rer. Sold at 50cents per bottle by James K il- son. `tot. he most wonderful curative remedies ..1 the present day, are those Chet ....ice from Germany, or atlean' ort.;i :ate there. The (Maar (Iiut ANVPsoltA fa, which has never been known to fail in curing • single ease of impotency. sper- matorrhoea, weaknees and all diseases resulting Fran self-abnee, as nervous ole• hility, inability, mental armlet?, lang- uor, lassitude, depression of spirits and functional derangements of the nervous system For sale by druggists, or seat free my mail es receipt of the rise. •1.00 per hot, or six Antes for 81.00. Address F. J. CsshtsT, Toledo, 0., Deo. Rhynas, Aok Agent, Dederick. 1$43.3m •N'es't 1.. Take s Mases.•' Bishop Pownian, at a great temper- ance meeting in 1778, cloned his address with the followidg anecdote : "A farmer who had several sons, promised the eld- est of them that if he would refrain from strong drink during the harvest, he would make him a i resent of a sheep. •'Then," said the younger'on, "if I do the same, may I ha -e a sheep'" "Yea, you may," said the farmer. "And I 1" said another. "Yet," said the father. Then said the youngest soon who was quite a youth, •'May I have esheep, too, father, .if I do the same 1" "Yes, my son,' was the reply. "And, fathor," still the youth, "won't y.nt take a sheep, too 1" The father was et tr•ieil, but af- ter thinking awhile sail, •'lee, my run, I will." CINoti.e.:e. - A name well known in onnecti' i with the Hair Renewcr,which estaiees grey -hair to its natural color by a few weeks use. Sold at 50 cents per bottle by James Wilson. 2m Surgeons knew the value of the expan- sive power 1.1 peas and other grain in making anot•nical preparations, No one has any idea ad the force excited until a teat a teat of it is mule. An Italian vessel, laden with rice, put into East London some time ago leaking badly. t strenuous effort was made to pump out the water and unload the car- go. But the rice continued to swell and finally the (-easel was violently burst asunder. A simple herb found on the sunny plains of a Southern clime haa,under the skilful manipulation of hr. run Buren, proved one of the greatest bleasini,s ever sent to suffering humanity. Dr.\'an ayes Kidney Cure isacknowledgtdall the world over as the only perfect remedy for kidney troubles. Your druggist has it. J. Vt ilson. Goderich. 2m The Texas and Pacific milt -awl will establish experimental farms along its lines next to s•'n. The purpose of these hems a ill be to test the availability of lands for different farming purposes. a Wei M Oe Le. Capt. Harry Aper, Alderman and enperintesdeut ut the Zuolt Kiel (larder Indy ouOmuusoated the tulle snag (.acts to a reporter of tete td Tursotais iutlnestisl papers: "Hume (trete ago we purehtsaed truth the oullecti.w ut out at Central Park, New York, a euwNruus Roman bear, which we have teamed 'Peter the ()rest,' tau soeuuut of his tre- mendou• sea. Not lung after 'Pete.' arriv e l a found that he was setferit trout 114 rheumatism, and in • prettj bad state Pete was not the onty one is the 'E r., which had • touch of that de- I:e:ues torture; the lion likewise had it ateiin feet 1 was just being cured of a bad ease of therbeumatisw,utysslf,by the use of St. Jacobs Oil. the (treat Genuan Remedy. 1 found St. Jac..bs Oil aha ex- oelletal remedy, for it cured mein ^shout while, and my ears was a veryaggravated one. I argued that if it leered men it 'mist be gaud for animals as well; saes Steward I. offered for any ease of Catarrh t hat can't he cured with Hall's Catarrh Cure. Taken internally. Price 75 Dents. For tali by George Rhynas, sole &gent for Goderich. 11443 3m It Suit Used ere Test Writs,. For twenty-five years has Dr. Fowler's Extract of N ild Strawberry been before the people, and its popularity is to -day greater than ever, because it ata proved reliable in the treatment °f all furans of Bowel Complaint incident to the Summer season. 2 1N ALL CHRONIC KIDNEY TROD- '. BLIP we have evidence of errors to nut- s/Okaa,aslaIitlgte'sdisrase Ment ovemeum- uWJett weeding repair and hastening degen- 018.01 t easest,ie from fusels mesa liver de - la assewdary to lingered (titration, Isar rat had dyyc�ss/lora itto the back,Crum urlu add or brick drat n In the e a sequence of matassimllaflon and a common cause of neuralgia and rheumatism. By securing the perfect oonvertion of food into healthy blood to ,maintain the constructive work of the organs and tissues, we have in Wheeler's Phosphates and Calisaya the molt certain cure of these ailments. Twenty -tier years' Exp.rle•ee:' Says an eminent physician, convinces rue that the only way to cure nervous exhaustion, and weakness ..f the sexual organs, is to repair the waste by giving brain and nerve foods, and of all tt e remedies compounded, Magnetic Medi- cine is the best. Sec advertisement in another column. Sold n Goderich by .las. Wilson, druggist.—lm The prescription of a skiilful physician and composed of vegetable drugs of great remedial power, Dr. Canon's Stomach and Constipation Bitters purify the blood, give tone and vigor to the system, cures Dyspepsia and Indigestion when all other medicine fail. Have you tiiei it? Sold by Druggists, 50c. a bottle. Twist re were recently indicted wth��fl the Theselling coffee adulterated with IIj authorities failed to show that adulteration was injurious as the peseestion fell through. The best widows* ed the superior merit mad 'trims'. ilk. Fowler's Estreat of Wild StrsMBM'lyfor the sure of Summer Complaints, is that its popularity and demean,) is grestrat mesas It has been longest known. 2 • she Sternest Prorraelee, head all wham It say mmsrra. Phosphatine, or Nerve boat, a Phos- phate Element based spun Scientific Facts, Formulated by Professor Austin, 1 M. D. of Boston, Hass., carte Pulmon- ary Consumption, Sick Headache, Ner- vous Attacks, Vertigo and Neuralgia and all wasting diseases of the human system. Phosphatine is not a Medecine, but a Nutriment, because it contains no Vegetable or Mineral Pises, Opiates, Ntrcutics, and no Stimulants, but situp ly the Phosphatic and Gartric Elements found in our daily food. A single bottle is sufficient t.. convince. All Druggists sell it. $1 00 ler bottle. Lowuas & Co., sole agents for the Domini on 55 Front Street East 'Toronto Under a c,.ntract with the county o.f Syracuse, N. Y., Mrs, Freland receives pauper babies, and also takes child!, n for young women who don't want to he bothered with them. A child, which recently died en her hands, was found to have been left .out in a woodshed all night while fatally ill. (ether babies in her keeping erre starved to a pitiable condition. Mrs Freland says she is not paid enough to keep thane properly. asrkles's .tr- slra "valve. The hest salve in the world for Cuts, .Bruises, Ulcers. Salt Rheum, Fever S. rev, Tetter, Chappell Hands, Chil- blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and positively cures Piles. It is gua,an- tied to give perfect satisfaction, tar money refunded. Price 25 cent per box. For sale by Jas. 1Vile.m. ly. The safest, Lest and cheal.eat medicine in the world is Dr. Canon's Stomach and Constipation Bitten. Sold in large bottles at 50e cents by all Dauggiste. r MRS. 7ARNOCK Begs to acquaint the ladies Of Goderich ,d vicinity that she is now showing, Spam ad Summer Millinery At ber shop, 'Hamilton Street. in -rent and he'snfrul variety. She has secure the Iwr- vloes ofa city milliner, and feels assured that she can give SATSIFAC T I ON iN 1(11T11 STYLE AND MAKE. She ho .ea to he favored w;th a visit front her petrous, and the ladies generally. ATRs. WA KNOCK. 110BBill --Thonsandnof graves are annually robbed of their rietims, lives prolonged happiness and health restored by t he use of t he great GERMAN INVIGORATOR X. SEPT. 29, 1882. SUBSCRIBE FOR THE SIGNAL FROM NOW Till tho 1st ofJalluary which positively and permanently rues' Isa. (.etleaty West by excesses 4 e rs atnd 1 eeslsal Weakness, and all dowsers that fol- bw as a sseemN Pelf Abuse. as loos of ea - FWS of meeory. olverwa! la the leek, direness of vision. �ss�� d ye, and many other dls ease. tlai lead to tasaslty or eoneumptlon and a proem - tare grave. Pend far similar,' with testimonials ere, by mail. Tito I*s .0 ATM IS sold at 3c per box, orate bozos for Pks,, by all dreigwists, or will be seat tree my malt, severely sealed, ea receipt .t prima by addressing. r. J. CIPIRNItY, 117 Remmlt fw..'dedo. 011e Gan. Rattan,. Pole Agent for GodetIeh. FOB ONLY 25 Cls. Now is the time to Subscribe for a 9 Wide Awake Nmsmilr. The Huron Sign, i l IS THE ItE'l' Local & General Newspaper in the County of Haien. Subscribe Now I ONLY 23 ars. CHEAP GROCERIES 7 �EATNT SWIFT I (lugs to aunuunte. to the people 4,1Goderich an this section of Huron, thatlhe ha purchased from Mr. Y. Philips hi. stile of Groceries, eta, and will continue the business in the old stand, on the Corner of Victoria and Bruce Streets. Hat ing bought the goods for uaa! , and as I intend to make all my purchases from wholesale men for ash also, I will be in a p(mitian to sell at Very Low Prices fur Cash My sto.ek will always be fresh. I will keep the hest brands of teas, gaud suears and everything in the grocery line from the best producers. Bacon, Spiced Mesta etc. , always est band in season. I am de,erminrd b. please, both ingtality and price $('►-Call at the stand, V icteric street, ep.Ie.site the Fair (!round, near D. K et echan's rurelnne shop. (Lderich, Match 9th, lea.. IX SWIFT. Extensive Premis and Splendid New Stock. G-_ 13ARP, CABiI(ET MAKER aua UNDERT Hamilton Street, Goderich. A good assortment of Kitchen, It`d-rauu, )lining ltoontand Parlor Furniture. such as Ta bles, Chairs their, cats- and wood erste-di. Cupboards, lied -steads, Matin es•e, \\ ash -tart Lounges, Sots; What -Note. Luuln.g Glees, e. N. 11.- A complete assortment of Coffins and Shie l e sl,Aye “n, hand'.tl'o Hearties fur h at reasonable rates. Pitt ureFP•ntlriCaejeestt}'.— '.en11>, , 1,4 1;1 BOOTS&SHQES cat Weddu.p Beg t• announce to the Public that tl e)- have of en(d business .0 the alcove Stroe in the store lately occupied 1.y Homes: Nesten. Hating pur.lieeed a large and well assorted stock of Storing ar.d f t t. t. t r Goode at clone figures, we are determined to give the Public the benefit. QUICK SALES & BALL 1 F; OFITS WILL BE OUR MOTTO _Ate -Incest (all and examine our g.".ds before purchasing elsewhere. #le'Renemtber the place, next do., to J. Wilson's Drug Store AO -Custom work will receive our vete ial attention. :ret-Noue but the beet of matt -rim: used and tint -class workmen employed. rreRepairing neatly done ..n the shortest notice. Goderich. March 9, 1882. DOWNING & W E D D U P THE KEY TO HEALTH. Unlocks all the clogged avenues of the Bowels, Riney. and Liver. carrying aft gradually without weakening the system, all the impurities and foul humors of the secretions ; at the same time Correcting Acidity of the Stomach, curing Bili- ousness, Wipe**, Headac D�hes, Diz- ziness, Heartburn, Constipation, Dryness of the Skin, Dro Dim- ness of Vision, Jaundice, Salt Rheum Erysi Scrofula, Fluttering of the Seart, Nervousness and General Debility; all these and many other simi- lar Complaints yield to the happy influence of BURDOCK' BLOOD BITTERS. Sample Bottles lOc ; Regular size $L For sale by all dealers. T. ■IL$CKN t CO., Preprlesrs, to jJ FOWLERS EXTRACT WI LD cSTRAWBERRY Cures Cholera, Cholera Morbus, Dy- sentery, Cramps, Colic, Sea Sick- ness and Summer Complaint ; also Cholera Infantum, and all Com- plaints peculiar to children teeth- ing, and will be found equally beneficial for adults or children. FOR SALE BY ALL DRUCCISTS. T. MILBURN & CO., Proprietors, Torontte rn REIngDY FOR ' it 11.l:it7 CONSUMPTION, COUCES, GOLDS, ASTHMA, CROUP, A11 Diseases of the Tlrsat. Lungs and Pulmonary Orgaas. 51 15. „tears I. use COlr1Cliln1O/1 Iw •sex CCniD Wk., other R.msdl.s sed rhv+i,Ian, have failed to .feet a eu-e. . e'c.ndNf hr res rites aft. Mrst•ttfa sire n,a In feet by everybody wten !'as sir.• 11 • ••0411 is serer /.r,:. re tenni retie! Aa as LXPZCTOIANT It las se =tlu4 It is bantams M tb. Mn.e I).tieaa (1114. 71 eMMIM .t+ err/r•.v fa sap Pirmes, 1Nnr•ttn-,s aeeempa•,v .eek bottle. Sir Yee sale lees all Prairies. M A N1TOBN The Great Western Railway will run their excursions to MANIT(+BA and DAKOTA petits during May and June ;very two weeks, coutintncing TUES- DAY May, 2nci, 1881. Fares Reduced. Fur tifeiniation, ticket', etc., apply t GEO. B. JOHNSTON -iwe al Agent Great Western Rsilwa (,,4enieh, �t. ,.o4erich. April. Ys. !Mx:'. 1836. HALL'S ta•� fATrR}r URE ram siaa_ la Recommended hr Pkt'hlelanq. C tJ 12.-B7.9 Catarrh of the Nasal Cavity (.-ronic and Ulcerative' Catarrh of the tar. Eye or Thr'gt. It Is takes INTERNALLY. and" acts DIRECTLY upon the Blood and Mucous Surfacer of the System, tt is the beet Blood Purifier in the WORLD, and is worth ALL that Is charged for It, for THAT alone. Tit ONLY INTERNAL CURE FOR CATARRH Ls- IN Til" M SHIERS' ,4-t $IOO rt :seert::l'ertryseesec B' 00 aM '><fi Y-<. art:\ata 'We r.aefn opt., Mate' YC IMO. ter 1111.1...,otg..btt was trot.'.'ed with Catarrh for two 1.'srs, r.n•t arse very m'eeh benefitted by tue neo of ' Ha•l'. Catarrh Curs" Mh• Is now et.out euro 1. W. T. Hnt'6s. p, Ont., March 1n, 1+ 9. I hire ns' ,1" ball a (' 0 srrh Cleo," sal pn.lg, ug from Vie god rnodto 1 derived from on. „o.t i", believe it will Dun, rho moat stubborn .ere of Catarrh if It, mss Ds *mum J0.1 for a ,easouable:eogth of !hoe. w. it. n}:i..F.MS, Wei.oss , Ont., Msreh 1f1 ISSN. c r Owr,sry h e:•... T d. do. 0. O.ara.-neve sold H4!1'e C'ctarth Caro for the .t year, ao I it CI ye. outine natisfac$ion 1•oura truly, H. R. HOBSON, l r ,,a,st Hall's Catarrh Cure seed by all tt hn'e.,la amt Rets.' A. 1411e14 amd I,aaters in Patent Modsru.aa las the United States and Cana.;.,. P1CCE l C(+nts a Bottle. *3.00 s Pot. Th. only sennina Hell's catarrh cure as mai,. ufeetnred by F. J ClICN1Y a CO.. To'edu, r` ter Revere of Irrltatlnns Bottled for Oa Onterl, trade hr - H. W. HOBSON, Welland. Ont. GEORGE RHYNAS idle Aent, Goderich y y1 s to 1* 'a it it ne Wrest z - phi sins lase 14440 h of dvo- ount of • wero eight rams strati. on of gurgle (grid.