The Brussels Post, 1972-12-06, Page 2Erin g in g -home the 5ree
Sugar and Spice
by Bill Smiley
promomoip
russeTs -ost
wEDNESpAy,,, DECEMBER 6, 1972
!MUSSELS
ONTARIO:
Serving Brussels and the surrounding community
Published each. WecineSday afternoon at Brussels, Ontario
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held by this newspaper...
Small towns need a voice
A tri-level conference of re-
presentatives of the Federal, Pro-
vincial and large city governments
has been going on in Toronto this
week and we've heard plenty of ba-
loney about the views of various
levels.
It's about time such a confer-
ence was held, although we could do
without all the propaganda that
spouts from the mouths of provincial
officials at all of these gatherings.
The provincial government people
(Charlie MacNaughton in this case)
always pretend they are just about
destitute and always blame the greedy
federal government for the problem.
The federal government (they say)
scandalously refuses to hand over
all their money to the province.And
of course the municipal governments
are dependent on the provincial
government, whether it is Liberal or
Conservative.
But at these conferences the
municipal people get a chance to
hear the federal side of things, and
get out of the position of begging
to the provincial government. Even
cities like Toronto are virtually
under the thumb of the provincial
government because they depend on
provincial grants for nearly all
segments of their affairs.
But if huge cities are slaves
of the province, how much worse is
the situation of the small towns
and rural municipalities. They
don't even have the weapon of a
large population to scare the govern-
ment. They can only take what Mr.
MacNaughton and his buddies deign
to hand out. And the situation will
get worse as the province imposes
regional government on the smaller
governments.
What is needed is a conference
similar to the present one, but one
to examine the problems of small
towns. Many government people in
both the federal and provincial
levels think only cities are import-
ant, but the future of the small
town is immensely important to the
province and the country. There are
problems that must be examined, and
examined soon, before it is too late.
(The Blyth Standard)
It seems to me that kids don't have
much fun anymore. Today I was read-
ing a short story with a group of eight-
teen-year-olds. It was about a shy,
fluttery spinster out on her first public
date with a widower who was courting
her. They went to a dance. She trip-
ped and fell and her man came tumbling
down on top of her.
It was funny, but pathetic, and the
kids, who are sensitive to humiliation,
exuded sympathy, especially the girls.
we talked for a bit about the things that
make people shy or awkward or self-
conscious: acne, obesity, a colostomy.
Fine. A good discussion.
But then I asked if any of them had
had the same experience - falling flat
on the dance floor. Horrors, no!
Of course, the way they dance nowa-
days, it's almost impossible to measure
your length on the hardwood. Most of
them dance by themselves, and it's pretty
hard to topple unless you're blind,
stoned. On slow pieces, those rare
occasions, they are clutched so tightly
that it would take a bulldozer to knock
them down. •
Most . of the time, in fact, they don't
even dance, just listen to the clangour
and thump. And it's pretty hard to
fall down on a dance floor when you're
not dancing . I mean, it's the sort of
thing you have to work at.
Anyway, I just sat back, looked them
over, and shook my head. "You kids
haven't lived. Nobody has really lived
who hasn't gone sprawling on a dance
floor. preferably bringing down his or
her par tner in the process."
There's nothing like it to spare the
ego down to size. And it helps if you
do it before a large and appreciative
audience.
I can recall at least two occasions
on which it happened to me. Once was
at the Cascades, of fond memory. The
second was at the Legion Hall in Tober-
mory. And I have living witnesses. My
wife doesn't know about the second one,
so keep it quiet.
But I can well recall the sensation.
One moment you are gliding about, leap-
ing and pirouetting, a veritable Rudolph
Nureyev in Swan Lake. The nest, your
pas des deux somehow turns into a pas
des trots, you .discover that your part-
ner is not Margot Fonteyn, and you're
flat on your back, head spinning from
the thump on the floor, and a broad who
a moment ago was light as thistledown,
sprawled across you like Strangler Lewis
winning the deciding fall.
There's only one thing to do. Leap to
your feet, laughing hollowly, and so
quickly that the spectators might think
it was all part of the performance. They
never do, of course. And it's pretty
lonely out there in the middle of the
floor when your partner, who has been
shamed for life, gives you a look like
a cold shower, and stalks away forever.
"What? Don't you people ever go to
a country dance and get hurled about?",
I badgered my students. Nope.
So I had to tell them what it was like.
When I was their age; we used to strike
off many a Friday night. Usually for
Wemyss, where they had the prettiest
girls (Jo and Vera Dewitt, Ursula Brady)
and the best music (Lorne Consitt on
the piano and Mr. Dewitt on the fiddle.)
There was no question of taking girls.
We couldn't afford it. But , there was
always the hope that you'd get to take
one home. However, they always seemed
to have several huge brothers or cousins
lurking about.
It was about $1.00 for the evening.
Fifty cents for• the dance, eighty-five
cents for a mickey of gin, split four
ways, and the rest for gas for some-
body's old man's car.
"Have you never got into a square
dance and „.been literally swept off your
feet?", I questioned my girl students.
Nope. But some of them looked as though
they rather liked the idea.
And I thought of those burly farm
boys, getting into the spirit of things
and whirling the girls around until the
latter were actually flying. Occasion-
ally, sweaty hands spelled disaster, and
one of the girls would go flying off into
the lunch the ladies were organizing. The
lunch was part of the admission fee of
And I thought of occasions when I
had got into a doh-se-doh with a particu-
larly enthusiastic and buxom farm wench,
and, because I couldn't foot it like the
' farm boys, been swung around in circles
with both feet three inches off the floor.
A couple of belts of raw gin, and couple
of dances like that, and you were ready
and willing to go out into the snow and
gaze, palely and greenly at the moon
for a half hour or So.
Inside the hall, with a wood stove
almost red hot, and a hundred or so
bodies steaming, it Was always aboUt
130 degrees. And this was in the days
before Ultra-dry deodorants. But I don't
remember anybody smelling anything ex-
cept hOt arid perfumey.
Eventually, there'd be a fight, or lunch
would be served , then it was into the
Model A and shiver home through the
winter night. No heater.
But, oh, what a night we'd had, and
oh, what stories we regaled our less
venturesome school-mates with, when we
fore-gathered at the pool room on Satur-
day afternoon.
Poor modern kids. Do they have any
fun?