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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1940-12-19, Page 21WINGHAM ADVANCE-TIMES PAGE THIRTEEN terribly sorry, but Mr. Emery was in conference and Could not be disturb­ ed. On the other side of the partition, Dot’s secretary, Connie, said to the caller who waited in the doorway, that she would leave a memo for ,Miss Graves, Miss Graves would attend to the matter as soon as she was free. At the moment she was at a meeting and couldn't be reached. In the board room over the burled walnut directors’ table, littered with water-cc'sketches and piles of gay­ ly colored pamphlets, Dot and Steph­ en bent their heads. Dpt took up a sketch and Stephen noticed that the pink fuzzy sweater she wore was extremely becoming with the dark red skirt which belong­ ed to her suit, and that on the whole she was more animated and eager than he had seen her for days. “I think,” Dot said, “that the pale green living room with those long beige curtains from ceiling to floor over this nice expanse of windows is infinitely more restful than the other.” “But if we take that apartment,” Stephen said with a little frown, “that definitely discards the game room, .and I had rather set my heart on that." He pawed through the sketches for the cross-section of blue walls, and the exciting murals. “I do like this. I like the view from those red-cush- ioned window seats. I like to. think of us sitting th'ere watching the boats on the East River.” “Well—-” Dot reached for a cigar­ ette “—we’ll have to compromise somewhere. I honestly don’t think we ought to take a bigger place, because I’ve been counting on a house in the country, too. I think we ought to make our place in the city as modern and as streamlined as possible. In other words, as high up as we can possibly afford, and, if need be, as compact. In the country we can ex­ pand and go into the past—old quilts and chintzes and hooked rugs and old glass.” Stephen nodded assent. 1 “And I do think,” Dot went on, “that we 4 really need separate bed­ rooms. If we were younger, Stephen, and each of us had not lived alone so long, we might get along with one. But you. will like to be alone with your thoughts sometimes and so shall I. After all, we’re mature personalit­ ies and adjustments will probably not be so easy for us as if, we were in our early twenties. I think separate bed­ rooms are an intelligent safeguard for our happiness.” Stephen rose and swept the sketch­ es -into a pile. “Well, at- least we’re agreed on- Trinidad for our honey­ moon. Mother and Dad will be so happy to have us there—and I’d ra­ ther like to see how the old man is getting along. Mother had practically given up hope of ever having any­ thing but an old bachelor for a son. She’ll welcome you with open arms.” “Do you realize,” Dot said turning to him, “that our honeymoon will un­ doubtedly be the only time we’ll ever dare take a vacation together? All the rest of the time one of us will have to stay here to look after things.” “Darn!” said Stephen, “C. C. Mit- cheltree doesn’t own us.” “No, but we’ve been here an awful­ ly long time. Ten years is a long time. Stenhen.” Dot turned to her little black note­ book and wrote down Cruise Clothes." She sighed a- little and thought,• “We could get the apartment ready if only Christmas 'didn’t interfere.” “Dot,” ' said Stephen, “would you consider—” and even as he said it he thought he must be a little soft in the head-“—not working, say, for a year or so? -1—then his voice trail­ ed off lamely as. Dot stared at him with amazement in her eyes. But he took courage again. “Some women consider marriage a. full time job. I mean, why do we. strain to plan every detail of our married lives now? I’ll wager you have actually arranged the decorations for your first dinner patty and have the guest list com­ plete. Darn it, Dot, planning a mar­ riage isn’t exactly like making out an advertising campaign, or launching a new crepe paper item. We might leave a few things to take care ,0f themselves.” “But, Stephen, I don’t understand you.” Dot crushed out her cigarette and withdrew a little. “You said your­ self that when Sue was7Sick you were in the most fearful jam. without me. I was away from the office Pn’y three davs and when I came back— “Yes, yes,” Stophen said impatient­ ly. “It was true enough, too, but it oughtn’t to be that way. Somebody else should be able to take oyer in an emergency. It isn’t right to have one person so completely int charge, “Stephen, are you saying you don t want me in the office any more?” “Good Lord, no! But I want — I want our marriage to be real and fun­ damental, based 011 our feeling for each other. I don’t want it to go over just because ,we have spent hours in planning how every minute shall be lived. 1 don’t want it to be success­ ful because we haven’t overlooked anything that might wreck it. I want it to go because it can’t help going-- oh, don’t you understand, Dot, it is because I love you so terribly? I want you, not your grand executive talent. I want your heart, this time.” Dot’s head swam a little. As if through a haze she was trying to sort out the meaning and the effect of Ste­ phen’s words. But Stephen had not finished. With one swoo'p' of his hand he brushed the sketches into the wastebasket. “I’m right. I know I’m right. If we’re to ■hav.e anything from life, we’ve got to make it ourselves. We can’t buy a marriage'by hiring expensive decorat­ ors and leasing penthouses. Darn it! I want a home, not just decorations— I want a home with a wife in it—not a wife who returns fagged from the office, not knowing what the cook has in the oven.” Dot’s face was white and drawn.. “It seems to me, Stephen, that you might have come to this conclusion before.” Her voice,was calm and very. cold. “Perhaps you’d like nay resignation, in that case?” Stephen turned quickly. “Dot — Dot! Forgive me. Can’t you see what I’m driving at? I don’t want to take Mitcheltree’s left-overs. I want your fresh bright energy. I don’t want you. to love me when you have time and when something else doesn’t interfere. I want your whole time and attention. It is probably selfish of me—but, Dot —oh, Lord! I have waited and been more patient than you’ll ever know, and now that- you are here within reach, I’m greedy, I suppose. Say something, darling, please, he begged. “•It seems to me, Stephen, that in one sense—I may be quite wrong—I am the person I am now because you have had a hand in shaping me.. I wasn’t very efficient when you first knew -me, if you remember. I took pains with my appearance because it pleased you. I used to come to the office with a certain amount of antici­ pation because I knew you would no­ tice a new dress or hat. I tried to do a good job because I was eager for your praise. And now you don’t like me the way I am.” ' Stephen groaned. “Tell me just one thing, Dot/ Do you love me? Do you want to marry me?” Dot put her head in her hands. “I’m sure I do, Stephen. I think what I have just said proves it quite clearly. But you have stripped me of. all my realities, imaginary or otherwise, and 1 feel a little lost and afraid. I am wondering how much of me there is left.” . Stephen gathered her into his arms. “I want you just as you are, darling. “I want you any way—with or with- ‘out your job, in a penthouse or in a cold water walk-up. Make your own terms.” He kissed her hungrily. Color flooded back into Dot’s cheeks. "Oh, Stephen, this is so stupid of us! This is the first time we have ever disagreed on anything important. And it just occurs to me that I have a million things to do. But, Stephen, I think I’ll take a few. days off. I think I’ll go up to White Creek to­ morrow.” Stephen nodded. “Just the thing. Maybe I could make it a little early, too'. Why don’t you leave tonight?” “But my Christmas dards and shop­ ping,” Dot sighed. “Let Connie' attend to them.” Dot seized upon this suggestion. She would give Connie her Christmas list tonight and have her order things sent from a department store. It oc­ curred to her that this was the last vear she would send out a card with her own name on it. Next year she and Stephen would choose one with.a chaste lighted candle, aud( Noel in block letters. Underneath in match­ ing print would be Dot and Stephen Emery. CHAPTER XXIII For the first time in years, Dot left her office early, not because she had a date elsewhere or for any reason other than that she was sick of being there. The talk with Stephen had jolt­ ed her considerably and she was, she told herself, slightly off balance. But was that any reason why she shouldn’t buy that sweet red accordion-pleated dress which she had seen on Fifty­ seventh Street? Then she reminded herself that that had been a remedy of hers for years, When anything hap­ pened to upset her, she - invariably went out and bought a new hat or new dress, an act which usually res­ tored her equilibrium. “I might begin remaking my life by not following the habit,” she thought with a sudden feeling of ad­ venture. Crpwds with packages in their arms crowded in on her. and on the corner she noticed a dreary Salvation Army lass laboriously playing a Christmas Carol on a flute. “Although at this .moment I’m not even certain that I intend 'to remake it. The only thing I, am sure of is that Stephen Emery has a rotten temper of which I have not even been faintly aware in all the time I have known him. The discovery is exciting, interesting,, as well as rather appalling. I suppose I have been planning our lives a little too farjn advance, taking Stephen in­ to consideration no more than .a nec­ essary. bit of furniture for a household establishment.” The thin uncertain flute notes of O Little Town of Bethlehem followed her along the street. With a growing sense of excitement she realized that she had nothing in the world to do before train time but pack her bag, a task of a few minutes. Connie, order­ ing her Christmas presents, was bur­ ied a foot deep in details. At the same time Dot made the interesting 'discovery that once she left the office and ignored its demands on her, she had a life of her own which at the moment seemed strangely empty. “I’ll buy somebody a Christmas pre­ sent,” she decided, “make a selection alone—just for,the fun of it. I’ll buy the first thing that reminds me of Ste­ phen, if it doesn’t cost over a dollar.” She stopped before a men’s haber­ dashery shop window filled with slip­ pers, dressing gowns, pipes and a large placard labelled “Gifts for Him”. It could be something small and rare and old, a nicely carved piece of jade, .or an antique paper-weight. But she dismissed these ideas and thought with dismay, “I can’t know him very well if I can’t think of a simple little present to give him. I us­ ed to give Dusty pipe cleaners and horehound drops and bright new pen­ cils.” She must have.been staring into the window of the little corner shop for five minutes before she realized what she was doing. “Artist’s Materials”, the sign said, and the window was fill­ ed with modeling clay, opened boxes of rainbow pastels, tubes of paint, stacks of paper and canvases and box­ es of charcoal. And for the third or fourth time that afternon she had a distinct shock. “Why, Dorothy Grav­ es,” she said, “whatever has happened to you? Once you were going to be a painter, and a very good one, too.” Then she was inside, sniffing the familiar smell of paint and clay, eag­ erly buying pads, pencils and paints as if her life defended on it. The de­ sire took hold of her so fiercely that she couldn’t wait to begin.- She order­ ed the big bundle to be delivered, ex­ tracting only a tablet and pencil. “I’ll make a series of street sketches for Stephen,” she thought. “I’ll go back and begin with the Salvation Army lass.” At ten o’clock Dot, in an old-fash­ ioned paint-smeared smock, stood in front of the easel in her own apart­ ment, painting with a fine frenzy. She had forgotten all about dinner, forgot­ ten that’ she had intended to go to White Creek and that Connie had sent a messenger boy to pick up her reser­ vations for a lower berth on a crowd­ ed sleeper. When the bell rang she looked at her watch, astonished. It couldn’t be Stephen, for he had had a dinner and evening date and had apologized for not seeing her off. Dot laughed when she saw Dusty’s incredulous face. “If you’re that am­ azed, darling, it’s a pity you couldn’t have seen me on Forty-second Street and Madison this afternoon sketching the Christmas crowds.” Dusty said, as he squinted at the canvas. “It’s good, Dot. Really good. Only her nose—” “But you see I haven’t the back­ ground in yet.” Then she said limply, “Dusty, does that sound familiar? I mean, don’t you remember—it was al­ ways like that?” “Yes,” said Dusty soberly. “When you were living on Thirteenth Street you never had the backgrounds in.” “See, Dusty, what I found when I was hunting for some old stuff in the bottom drawer!” As she picked up the old sketch book the pages fluttered out all over the blue carpet, There were hundreds of small rough sketch­ es of Dusty in various poses. Of Dus­ ty yawning, Dusty laughing, Dusty lying on the ground asleep. “We went on a picnic that day, re­ member?’’ Dusty was down on his knees. “Say, I had a little more hairj then, didn’t I? And what’s this} Dot?” He twisted a page upside down to look at a row of figures, He read: Weekly expenses Apartment................. >„...$12.29 Food......................... 10.10 Laundry.......-.......... 2.50 Entertainment ........................ .50 Running Around ............................ 2.00 (Dusty and Me) Dear God, please make it work! Dusty handed the sheet to Dot, who looked at it with a twisted smile. “The past rises before me like a dream,” she said quietly. Then she began to gather up the sketches. “As a matter of fact, when, you rang I was coming to the. bitter conclusion that that’s just what is was — an excursion into the past. You can’t get a lot of new tubes of paint and some clean fresh paper and begin exactly where you left off. There is the matter of constant draw-/ ing, and thinking in pictures, and training your memory. I was think­ ing, too, that I had been a silly goose to give it up, that I liked to paint bet­ ter than anything in the world, but that undoubtedly I would have had a difficult time making a living at it.” Dusty said, “You’ve probably been working hours without anything to eat, haven’t you? All right,” as she nodded, “take the paint off your fing­ ers and I’ll bring back some food,” It was heartbreakingly like the old days. Dot opened the cartons which’ Dusty brought back. The same smell of coffee, well creamed, in a paper cup, the same hamburger, the same thick paper napkins, the very same wedge of layer cake.“Dot,” Dusty said as if it were all a brand new idea, “why don’t you take a year or„so off and do nothing but paint? As a matter of fact, I could probably manage the time, too. Why don’t we just take a trip somewhere and loaf along? I have some notes for a book on, advertising that I’ve planned for a long time. We could even p-et a trailer—” Dot started at him until she realiz­ ed that he meant what he was saying. She closed her eyes. Her head reeled dizzily. “Dusty, dear,” she said, “have you forgotten? I am marrying Steph- ’en on New Year’s Day!” Dusty put down the coffee and walked over to the window. When he came back, he said, “Yes, of course. For the moment I had forgotten. And you know, too, that Sue and I are en­ gaged. But we shan’t be married, until June.” “No, I didn’t know it was definite. I knew that naturally you intended—” for the moment she had completely forgotten about Sue. She had forgot­ ten why Dusty had gone to White Creek, and why he had stayed so un­ conscionably long. “Which reminds me,” she added, finishing a crumb of frosting, “that I was supposed to take a train to White Creek tonight. ^I’m treating, myself to a vacation. Dusty, be a lamb and call Grand Central and see if there’s anything else out to­ night. If I stay in town, just from force of habit I shall turn up at the office, and for a little while I’d like to forget it.” There was a train at midnight. Dusty said he’d help her pack, and with a careless masculine hand threw things .into a suitcase, which in the end had to be repacked. “But what’s this yellowed legal document?” He took it out of the silk pocket of her suitcase. “Great guns— it’s one of our many marriage li­ censes!" Dot stared at it, then said in a voice harsh and strained. “The past is past, Dusty. You can’t ever go back. You have-to go .on!” "Yes,” Dusty said. But you couldn’t tear ten years out of your life in a moment. Even in the fine fervor of his deep passion for Sue, he would go on loving Dot, he supposed, to the end of his life. CHAPTER XXIV At breakfast Gran made a little ceremony of pouring hot milk and coffee from two silver pots at the same time. She took the proffered cup and ob­ served that she .had never seen Dot eat so much breakfast. “She never takes anything but orange juice and coffee before she dashes off to the of­ fice.” “Sue!” laughed Dot. “Well, do pass me another buckwheat cake. I don’t mind saying that I feel as fresh as new-fallen snow this morning. I can’t remember when I’ve slept like that, I just wasn’t here—*” “H’m,” Said Gran. “No wonder you looked so peaked in New York. No­ thin’ starts a day so right as a good breakfast. Why, my mother used to