HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1937-04-01, Page 5..III!!!. Iiiymi.!.. . ...... HH.||.UI!ULI..1.11.1 ■ ....
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Thursday, April 1st, 1937 THE WINGHAM ADVANCE-TIMES
Don’t jail to read this
story of Dr. M, W, Locke
in the April issue of Pic
torial Review, now on sale.
ABOUT Dr. LOCKE?
M. W. Locke has medi
cal degrees from two of
the old world’s universities.
Early in his career he devel
oped certain theories con
cerning the treatment of
feet. After many years of
clinical practice, he was convinced that they were scien
tifically correct. He designed a shoe to supplement his
treatments—because he couldn’t find one. This is the
M. W. Locke Shoe.
(t is the shoe fitted to hts pattents. It is the shoe you
can be fitted to at our store.
Come in today for a trial fitting. If your feet are giving
you trouble, you should wear M. W. Locke Shoe£
If your feet are normal, you should wear
Shoes to keep them so.
There is a M.,W. Locke last for every type of foot.
SHOES
GREER’S
M. W. Locke
“The Good Shoe Store”
Wear Registered, Certified-Fitted M. W. Locke
Shoes—see a competent Root Authority Regularly,
PROPHET’S ADDRESS
By Elgin Coutts
Tempus has fugited for many long
years now since we thought we had
graduated from that school on the
hill.
The stduents and others have long
since scattered to the umpteen corn
ers of the universe. But first my
. history of the past. It had been my
lot to become a criminal laywer, and
for larger scope I moved to Chicago.
Business was good and cases came
and cases went, but late on in my
career I had the strangest case. I was
called upon to defend that hard-boiled
rackateer, Ichabod, the King of the
Red Racketeers, with his side-kick
and master brain, Admiral the Awful.
Ichabod and Admiral had a racket by
which they exacted ten marbles a
week from the children, as protection
against larger boys who were known
i as fanfobbiers who would steal the
Aodd marble. The case was severely
^^^contested and Ichabod and Admiral
were nearly convicted but we took
Normie out on Lake Michigan and
made him row a boat for a couple
Sales Representatives
Wanted immediately in Wingham
and1 nearby towns and villages to
sell lines of popular priced! dresses
in crepes, wools, cottons and nov
elties for girls, misses and women.
$15.00 investment or more will as
sure you of good weekly income.
Investment guaranteed. Write fully
to
CAMDEN DRESS COMPANY,
7 - L Camden St. Toronto, Ont.
of days. When we got through, the
young man was so sun-burned the
crown-attorney didn’t know him so
he was acquitted. Admiral was then
released for returning the marbles
they had taken and in May 1980 the
case was completed.
My thoughts had turned then to a
visit to Wingham, so consequently I
bought myself a second-hand bicycle
and slipped back home for a week
end. But alas! When I got to that
spot six miles north of Belgrave on
Highway No. 4 I could see nothing
but a vast level plain. I wheeled ac
ross this, and at one end was a little
shack and an old barn behind it that
resembled closely the garage where
once -“Hen” Posliff kept his car. I
whistled and who should come out
but Harry “Himself Posliff.” After
profuse salutations I got it out of
him that he had been jilted in favor
of “Tory” Greig and Verne had gone
far away with Tory, so Harry had
stayed where Wingham used to be.
I also got it from him that owing
to improved transportation in rock
ets all Wingham had moved to Mars
to colonize that -planet.
Well, I thought, I better slip up
to Mars and revisit my old school
mates. Harry had, as I learned, a
1957 model rocket-ship, in the barn.
He kindly consented to take me up
to Mars, so we pushed the ship out
on the level ground. He looked it ov
er, tied one of the wings a little
tighter, and we climbed in. With a
bang, a crash, and a lurch, we left old
Mother Earth.' For the first few mil
ion miles the travelling was unevent
ful and so we passed Venus, Saturn
Cent A Mile R™NPD Bargain Fares
(Minimum Fares: Adults 75c Children 40c)
APRIL 9th and loth
From WINGHAM To TORONTO
Also to Brantford, Chatham, Chesley, Clinton, Durham, Exeter, Fer-
gtis, Goderich, Guelph, Hamilton, Hanover, Harriston, Ingersoll,
Kincardine Kitcheiier, London, ListoweL Mitchell, Niagara Falls,
Owen Sound, Paisley, Palmerston, Pans, Port Elgin, St. Catharines,
St. Maty's, Sarnia, Southampton, Stratford, Strathroy, Walkerton,
Wiarton, Wingham, Woodstock.
^.1 ■ 1 1 111 1 ..................——
To Oshawa, Bowmanville, Port Hope, Cobourg, Trenton Jet, Belle
ville, Napanee, Kingston, Gananoque, Brockv.dle, PreScott, Morns-
burg, Cornwall, Uxbridge, Lindsay, Peterboro, Campbellford, Aurora,
, New market, Penctang, Collingwood, Meaford, Barrie, Orillia Mid
land, Gravenhttrst, Bracebridge, Huntsville, Callander, North Bay,
Parry Sound, Sudbury; all town in New Ontario on line of Temis-
kaming & Northern Ontario Rly., Nipissing Central Rly., Kapuskas-
ing, Longlac, Geraldton, Jellicoe, Beardmore, Port Arthur.
For Fares, Return Limits, Train Information, Tickets, consult nearest
Agent. See handbills for Complete list of destinations, T195A
CANADIAN NATIONAL
and approached the Moon. But when
we neared this lunar body the ship
gave a few consumptive coughs. Hen
, looked funny, I says, "Yah, I know,
we’re out of gas.” Hen says "Yah,
but I’ll just coast down to the Moon
and get some so you won’t have to
get out and push.” 'So we drifted
down to the moon and as a landing
field wasn’t in sight we just turned
on the electrical buoyancy gravitators
and sat there until the moon rolled
one under us. We dropped down and
landed. The field-man running out to
us, and who was it but Rossie How-
son. He got us the gas and. in the
meantime told us how, in his spare
time he had a job lighting the coal
oil lamps which profusely adorn that
heavenly body. We got under way
again and it wasn’t long until we
were nearly Mars. Hen had been
telling me that when the Wingham-
ites had moved to Mars they had to
conform to the custom of that plan
et and pair up in sets of twins. This
was going to be interesting I thought,
and so it turned out to be.
We landed on Mars, ten hours from
Earth. Hen was proud of his old can
and when we landed he immediately
sqt about to look her over. i
I wandered away .from the field
and hailed a taxi . It drove up and
there was Flora Coulter and her
adopted twin Creighton Reid, run
ning the cab. Flora hopped out and
opened the door saying, “Yes, Sir!
Where to,. Sir? Well, I’ll be ... .
ij it ain’t -. ... Come on, hop in.”
I. clambered aboard and was driv
en to the centre of the town which
incidentally had been named, not
Wingham, but Wingpork. Creighton
kept up a glibe line of chatter all the
while, and, when they let me out, ab
solutely refused to accept my fare.
I started down the street and upon
seeing a Ford Garage I stepped in
to get a line on the new VIIr2’d
Ford (speaking in round numbers). A
salesman stepped pu and a mechanic
came up from the back. Believe it
or not, Clarence Hollenbeck and Mary
McKibbon had become twins and
were running a fine home for Fords.
They “chatted with me for a while and
I was on my way. Across the way I
saw a furniture shop, so across I
went, and inside, sure enough, there
were "Big Bob" and Irlma, the twin.
Irlma was dusting furniture while Bob
was showing Muriel Lane and Don
Adams new, strong chairs for their
musical chair emporium. Not wishing
: to stop Bob in the midst of his high-
i pressure stuff I slipped out unnotic-
i ed. .
i On the street whom -should I see
; but Edith Weir and Jack Wettlaufer
: teamed up into a juggling team. They
were putting on an act in front of a
barber shop which bore the names,
K. Rintoul and M. Aitken (we clippem
; short, western songs and stories while
you wait,) while watching the juggling
I felt a couple of hands on my shoul
der, I turned around and gazed upon
Frances Currie and Jerry Roberts who
were, by their dress ,apparently the
town’s constabulary. They greeted me
cordially and then told me they were
looking for two arch-criminals, (Mam
ie Merryweather and Dick Irwin) who
had just stolen a glance from the
town’s supply. These two officers con
tinued d.own<the street and I went to
the corner of this town’s Josephine
and Patrick street where I heard a
couple of femine voices raised togeth
er in the cry “wuxtry! wuxtry! Read
all about it—all about it! There in a
news stand I saw Peg Fuller and Bett
Rae looking up and down the stree,
and all the time hawking their wares,
They were selling the Wingpork Re
verse-Times.
In order to catch up on the news
of Wingpork. I bought a paper from
these newsgirls. I asked what they
were doing selling papers in one lo
cation. Peg. said, “My Carr stalled
and we can’t gc-t away”. Turning to
the sports page, I read over the re
sults of a recent field-day held there.
To be sure, the former inhabitants of
Wingham were still athletic.
This strange Martain gravity real
ly is funny. Because of this change in
gravity, Helen Miller took the high-
jump event at seven-feet sir and
seven-eighth inches while her twin
Pee Wee Norman won the shot-put
event by tossing the fifteen, pound
shot some fifty-six feet. Catherine
Nortrop won the hundred yards dash
and her twin sent the encouraging
telegram, "I’m baanking on you.”
On the social page were the pic
tures of the two smiling debutantes
of the season, King Hastings and his
twin John Gear whose coining out
party had been held the previous ev
ening at the Bomb-Hurlers Ball. The
orchestra of Flash Nethery and Dodie :
Arnriitage supplied the new style roll
time music. Another special attraction :
was the floor-show of tap-danters '
made up of these sets of twins: Harold
McCallum and Dunk Kerr; Dwight
Reid and Edith Field, and Rita King
and John Lamb.
After reading over this sheet which
was incidently edited by Chas. Wel-
wbod And Julie Preston, I walked
along the street until I came to what
appeared to be a midway^ Yes it was!
POES HIGHLAND
FLING AT 72
Old; Lady Tells Secret of Her Vigor
The writer of the following letter
once suffered from rheumatism, head
aches, and depression. Then one day
a vigorous old lady told her the secret
of good health. And now that former
sufferer writes to tell others how she
obtained relief through Kruschen:—■
“Kruschen was recommended to me
by an old lady of seventy-two who
can dance the Highland Fling ■—
thanks to Kruschen, which she has
used for thirty years, She told me to
take Kruschen Salts to try and re
lieve a dull heavy headache from
which I suffered nearly every morn
ing on wakening. I was also troubled
with Rheumatism in both shoulders.
Kruschen turned the trick. The head
ache disappeared and so did the rheu
matism. I have continued taking
Kruschen and intend to keep it up.”
—(Mrs.) F.B.W,
■ Kruschen is a combination of min
eral salts which assist in stimulating
your liver, kidneys and digestive tract
to healthy, regular activity. They en
sure internal cleanliness, and thus help
to keep the blood-stream pure,
The first concession I saw had a large
sign up in front. "Mike” Robertson
and Co.. Limited — Prophets, Seers
(Sights and Others). Well! .Well!
Rome has fallen eh? . '
In front of the glass-blowers, tent,'
Isabel MacKinnon was spieling ,with
all her might, inducing the people to
come and see. At the same time her
bashful twin “Rosy” Taylor was.
meekly tapping on the gong. *
A large black and white, canvas
booth attracted my attention* so over,
I went and saw Joe Higgins and Nora
Wheeler busily attempting to serve
sufficient ofod to satisfy the hunger
of its many patrons.
I sat at a stool, Joe came over and
said cordially, "Have a hot-dog on the
house fella! S’a long time since I’ve
seen you. Just at that a couple of
tough looking twins pushed through
the crowds, Isabel Habkirk and Kay
Townend. Kay looked down on Joe
and leered, ‘‘Where yuji buying your
weeneys now Joe,” Joe paled. He had
forgotten these two had sole right of
weiner sales in town. He had bought
some from another firm. I left hur
riedly—without hte free hot-dog.
Sides shows were numerous and the
signs told of the wonders inside. One
one—Jack Bateson, Fatman from
Earth and his twin, Ken Wheeler. See
them eat. On another—Clarence Cant-
elon and Mary Cruickshank, Daring
Desperadoes — See them shoot — See
them ride the wild! Bucking! Electri
cally driven Clothes-Horses.
Here were Betty Baynham and Mac
Habkirk that twinkling trapeze two
some, always defying death on tang
led cloth-lines.
I moved out of the midway, and out
in an open lot I saw a huge, queer
looking, factory.' I went to it, knock
ed, and was admitted. Inside I saw
Jack Richardson and Ralph Baird
talking incessantly. They told me they
kept the people on Mars living by
running the huge axygen generator
and supplying the wind which ran the
electrical apparatus of Mars. So they
must work ceaselessly and were glad
I came along because they now had
some other person to whom they
could talk.
By this time I knew “Hen” would
be ready to return home and I left the
boys, exhorting them to keep up their
fine work. I hurried back to the air
field, '"Hen” was ready so we zoomed
away back to Earth.
Once back in Chicago I happened to
meet the son of Robert Ripley, master
of the famous old-time Believe It
Not, and told him my story.
“Isn’t it great,” I said.
"Swell,” he replied. “Believe It
Not.”
SALEM
or
or
Holiday visitors: Miss Eve McMi
chael of Port Burwell with her par
ents, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas McMich
ael; Misses Hazel and Minnie Weir
of Toronto with their parents, Mr.
and Mrs. D. L. Weir; Miss Edythe
Weir of Muskoka Falls with her par
ents, Mr. and Mrs. W. E. Weir; Dr.
W. W. Weir, Mrs. Weir and son,
Malcolm of Toronto with the form
er’s mother, Mrs. Wm. Weir and oth
er friends.
Mr. and Mrs. John Gowdy spent
one day recently with friends on the
B. Line, Howick.
Mr. D. L. Weir spent a few days
at the first of the week with friends
in Toronto.
A number in this locality are at
present suffering with the flu. We
wish them a speedy recovery.
I F
TORY CORNERS
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Ellis is spend
ing the Easter holidays with their
son, in Guelph.
Mr. and Mrs. J. Hueston, Mrs. J.
J. Elliott of Toulon, Man., and Mrs.
Blekeney of Toronto, spent an even
ing at W. H. Dane’s.
Mr. and Mrs. L. Harkness, Robert
and Bruce, spent Monday at W. H.
Pane’s.
Eldon Galbraith lost a valuable
horse last week.
Jno, Wylie made a business trip to
Wingham last week.
Mrs. Geo. A. Dane is slowly im
proving under the care of Nurse Fos
ter of Gorrie.
Mr. Wm. Edwards of the 17th. con.,
has started up his saw mill for his
season’s work.
EAST WAWANOSH
Mr. Melville Beacroft, of Colborne,
spent the holiday wirth his father, Mr.
John Beacroft,
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Congram and
Clifford, Holyrood, visited with Chas.
Shiells on Sunday.
Mr, and Mrs. John Irvine and Mrs.
Vipond visited with Mr. and Mrs.
Leslie Wightman last Tuesday.
Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Vannon, of
Windsor, and Mr. Jack Perdue, Tor
onto, visited at A. M. Perdue’s over
the week-end.
UNUSUAL
OPPORTUNITY
BARGAINS IN COCKEREL CHICKS
“What would your father say if he
knew you were out so late at night?”
“He would say, ‘Don’t let mother
know.’ ”
—En Rolig Half Timma, Gothenburg.
“Arithmetic is a science of truth,”
said the professor earnestly. “Fig
ures can’t’lie. For instance, if one can
build a house in twelve days, twelve
men can build it in one.”
“Yes,” interrupted a quick-brained
student. “Then 288 will build it in
one hour, 17,280 in one minutes and
1,036,800 in one second. And I don’t
believe they could lay one brick in
that time.”
While the professor was still gasp
ing the smart "ready reckoner” went
on:
"Again, if one ship can cross the
Atlantic in six days, six ships can
cross it in one day. I don’t believe
that either; so where’s
arithmetic?”
Then he sat down.
the truth in
after two or
married life,
Cassius left the house
three years of stormy
and in about a week returned by the
back way, pried open a window and
crawled in.
Mrs. Jackson, next door, saw Cash
come out, bent under the weight of
a big wash-tub, washboard and wring
er.
“Cash," Mrs. Jackson called from
her back udoor, “what you takin’ dem
tools, man?”
“Pawn them,” Cash answered. “Dat
gal ain’t gwine to vamp nobody wiv
my weddin presents.”
To a tramp lying on the grass in
the park: “You win the prize as the
laziest man in the world.”
Tramp: "Thanks, pal, roll me over
and put it in me back pocket.”
ASHFIELD
Mrs. Roy Alton spent last week
end in Toronto with her sister, Mrs.
E. Harmsworth.
Misses Melda and Winnie Lane,
teachers at Belgrave and Eedy, near
Coldwater, are home for the Easter
holidays.
Mrs. Wilfred Hackett and little son
Jimmie, are spending the Easter holi
days with her parents, Mr. and Mrs.
MacDonald, near Ripley.
The following are the sick this
week: Mr. and Mrs. Robert Scott,
Mrs. R. Nelson and son, Jim, Miss
Vera Little, Mr> Gordon Johnstone,
Mrs. John Little, Mr. Jim Little and
Ailecn and Helen, near Cottreys’ Cor
ners, Mr. and Mrs. George Drennan,
near Kintail, and Mr. and Mrs. Fred
Johnston, 9th con.
Born—In Clinton Hospital on Sat
urday, Match 20th, to Mr. and Mrs.
Will Helm, near Zion, a son; and in
Wingham Hospital on Tuesday, Mar.
23rd, to Mr. and Mrs. John Gardner,
near Zion, a daughter.
We ate very sorry to hear of the
passing away of Mrs. 3Peter McNay,
iStli con., on Friday, March 19, after*
THE demand for sexed day-old pullets, for early April delivery,,
is leaving us with a temporary surplus of cockerel chicks. We
arc pricing them for quick sale. This is your opportunity to get a
flock of extra cockerels at dirt-cheap prices. Look at the list below:
Day-old Cockerels — lc to 5c Each
Bray Standard grade Leghorns..........................$1.00
Bray Xtra-Profit Leghorns.......... 2.00
Bray Standard grade New Hampshires.................3,00
Bray Xtra-Profit New Hampshires...................„„.4.00
Bray Standard grade Barred Rocks...................,...4.00 per'100
Bray Xtra-Profit Barred Rocks......................a,.„.,...5.06 per 10Q
Other Heavy Breed cockerels......................... 5.00 per 100
Bargains in Started Cockerels
We have a limited quantity of started cockerels of the heavy breeds.
While they last, you can have them at the following bargain prices:
2-weeks-old heavy breed cockerels..............$10.00 per 100
4-weeks-old heavy breed cockerels.............13.90 per 100
Also a limited number of started pullets, various breeds, for prompt
shipment, Most of them 3 to 4 weeks old. Write for pullet prices,
Profit in Extra Cockerels
The outlook for poultry meat prices is improving week by week.
From January 1st to March 20th, Canada exported 488,976 dressed
chickens to the British market — almost HALF A MILLION. That’s
2% TIMES as many as we exported in the same period a year ago.
By the time the Coronation ceremonies have come and gone, I don’t
think we’re going to have much dressed poultry left in cold storage
in this country. Ouii Summer and Fall prices for dressed chickens
should be good.
Order Direct From This Advertisement
’At| the above prices, tjiese chicks are moving fast. So don’t delay
if you want to get in on this unusual opportunity. Order direct from
this advertisement.
Send a deposit of $1.00 on small orders, and pay the balance on the
safe arrival of your chicks. On orders for more than $10.00 worth,
send 10% of the amount as your first deposit.
per 100
per
per 100
per
100
100
FRED W. BRAY, LIMITED
John Street North, Hamilton, Ontario,
or
A. C. Adams, Agent, Wingham, Ontario.
a few weeks’ illness with pneumonia.
The funeral was held on Monday af
ternoon, March 22nd, from the Pres
byterian Church, Lucknow, to South
Kinloss Cemetery. Rev. MacDonald
officiated. Mrs. McNay is survived
by her husband and three sons, Gra
ham of Ottawa, Alex., near Para
mount, and Kelso at home.
There passed away in Goderich
Hospital on Monday night, Mr. And-
rew Bowler, 10th con., with flu and
pneumonia. The ■ funeral was held;
from his brother’s home, 10th con.,
Mr. Mike Bowler, on Thursday morn
ing, to Kingsbridge R.C. cemetery..
His brother, Mr. John Bowler, pass
ed away two weeks previously with
the same sickness. We extend our
sincere sympathy to his brother, who'
is the last one in the family surviving,
of five sisters and four brother.
Farmers Benefit
Most from
Telephone Rate
Reductions
Farmers will benefit by over $100,000
yearly through reductions in rural tele
phone rates, effective April 1st.
In this district rural telephone rates are
reduced 25 cents per month—$3.00 yearly.
Other reductions are—
Hand (cradle) telephones —
reduced from 30 cents to 15 cents per month
over Desk type (effective with May bills).
Installation charge —
Business telephones reduced from $2.25 to
$2.00.
Service connection —
(where instrument is in place) on Business
telephones, reduced from $1.15 to $1.00; in
side move charges reduced from $2.00 to
$1.00 (effective April 1st).
Short haul Long Distance Calls —
20-cent person-to-person calls reduced to 15
cents. The extra cost for reversing charges
on calls to nearby places is cancelled (effec
tive April 1st).
Deaf Sets —
The special type of equipment available for
the hard-of-hearing is reduced from $2.50 to
$1.50 per month,
These reductions, especially those affecting
farmers’ telephones, Will tend to increase the
general use of telephone service, making it of
greater value to every user.
♦