HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2008-11-13, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2008. PAGE 5.
Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
A walk on the wild side
E verybody talks about the weather,
but nobody does anything about
it.
– Mark Twain
Good one, Mark – and all the funnier for
being true. We do talk about the weather.
Indeed, with sex, politics and religion pretty
much off the table for polite discourse, the
weather is one of the few conversational
constants we can fall back on.
Not that our weather observations tend to be
inspirational. Usually they run along the lines
of “Phew/Brr…hot/cold/dry/wet enough fer
ya?”
Or, “Man, that was some rain/snow/wind we
had last night, eh?”
I know of only one weather conversation
that didn’t go well. It occurred between then-
Prime Minister Trudeau and his Finance
Minister Jean Chrétien. Slipping in beside his
boss on a campaign bus, Chrétien observed
that it “Sure was raining outside.”
Trudeau replied icily that he was
“encouraged” to learn that it was raining
“outside” as it would be rather inconvenient if
it were raining “inside”.
Monsieur Crankypants Trudeau aside, most
Canadians are far too polite (and
meteorologically long-suffering) to cold
shoulder anybody’s weather observations no
matter how banal. Fact is, we tend to revel in
such stuff.
And nothing gives us greater pleasure than
that annual autumnal ritual in which we
attempt to divine What Kind of a Winter We’re
In For.
Canadians have two meteorological camps
to which we can pledge allegiance:
Environment Canada and The Old Farmer’s
Almanac.
Environment Canada is reserved for those
among us who see themselves as rational and
scientifically minded. The government agency
employs millions of dollars worth of satellites,
radar, and other technological gewgaws to
keep us abreast of the latest news in isotherms,
highs, lows, fronts, troughs and other
meteorological phenomena.
And then there’s The Old Farmer’s
Almanac, a hoary compendium of gardening
nostrums, astrological trivia and sundry
ephemera that’s been published every year
since 1792.
But that’s just window dressing. What the
Old Farmer’s Almanac is really about is
weather prognostication. The Almanac
soothsayers lay out exactly what we can
expect to encounter when we open our front
doors.
Almanac forecasters don’t rely on
sophisticated technology. They lean towards
sunspots, tide tables and the position of the
planets to deduce the coming weather patterns.
“In essence,” the editor writes, “these pages
are unchanged since 1792…the long
columns of numbers and symbols reveal
all of nature’s precision, rhythm and
glory…”
Yeah, swell – but how accurate is The Old
Farmer’s Almanac?
Pretty darn accurate, according to, err...The
Old Farmer’s Almanac. Editor Peter Geiger
claims the guide is on the money 80 to 85 per
cent of the time.
This is a much better batting average than
David Phillips would ever claim on behalf of
the outfit he works for.
David Phillips? Chief climatologist with
Environment Canada.
Phillips says that even with their
supercomputers and a wealth of data,
Environment Canada is leery of predicting
anything more than 10 days ahead. Whereas
The Old Farmer’s Almanac ball gazers
blithely roll the dice for up to two years in
advance.
Which brings us to the coming winter.
According to The Old Farmer’s Almanac,
we’re in for a bad one.
Really bad.
It says that this winter, most of Canada will
experience minus 40-degree weather or worse.
It even uses the word ‘catastrophic’.
Scared? David Phillips and the folks at
Environment Canada aren’t.
“We never really advise people to bet the
family farm on (our forecasts) because it is a
bit of crapshoot.”
I guess we’ll find out soon enough who’s
right about this particular winter.
Speaking of crapshoots, I should point out
that The Old Farmer’s Almanac comes with a
hole punched through the top of it right next to
the spine. In earlier years, this hole facilitated
hanging the Almanac from a nail in the
outhouse wall.
Pioneer recycling. When a reader was
finished reading a page of the Almanac, the
person could rip it off and, er, dispose of it
appropriately.
Reminds me of the letter U.S. President
Harry Truman fired off to a theatre reviewer
who panned an acting performance by
Truman’s daughter.
“I am sitting in the smallest room in the
house with your review before me,” wrote
Truman. “Shortly, it will be behind me.”
Let’s hope that, come spring, we can all do
the same thing with the Farmer’s Almanac
winter weather forecast.
Arthur
Black
Other Views So, is it cold enough fer ya?
One of the least rewarding jobs in
Ontario politics is interim party leader,
but a veteran Progressive Conservative
MPP who once was the legislature’s best-
known rebel is making an unusual go of it.
Bob Runciman was named interim –
temporary – leader by his party’s MPPs after
leader John Tory lost a general election last
October and failed to win a seat for himself.
Tory, chosen by party rank and file at a
convention, remains leader while the party
gives him time to find another seat. Runciman
leads in legislature debates, but his post gives
little other power.
Those who matter most, the public, fellow-
politicians and news media, know an interim
leader will not be around long and any views
he has have less chance of becoming reality.
Even his own MPPs can disregard him,
because he has few powers to compel them,
and news media are less likely to report what
he says.
Runciman nonetheless has been able to raise
his party’s profile. After a series of shooting
deaths blamed on people who have criminal
records and been allowed free on bail or
parole, he has managed to arouse concerns
Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty’s
government is missing opportunities to protect
residents.
The issue is largely under federal
jurisdiction, but Runciman has pointed out the
province could appeal some releases and
request electronic monitoring of those who
have records of violence and are allowed back
on the streets.
Runciman is making ground with his claim
McGuinty is doing little to inspire residents he
can soften the impact of the sharp decline in
the economy. McGuinty has programs, but
people do not associate him with inspiration.
Runciman also is making a strong effort,
which no other party is doing, to nail
McGuinty for investing $100 million of
taxpayers’ money in hazardous sub-prime
mortgages and risking losing most of it. He is
having difficulty convincing Toronto media
this is worth raising and is blunt enough to say
so.
Runciman is tenacious in promoting his
criticisms and not deterred by Liberal counter-
attacks, as would be expected from someone
with his history.
Runciman was the only Conservative MPP
to protest publicly when Tory premier William
Davis had his government pay $650 million
for stock in an oil company, Suncor Inc., in
1981, on the dubious claim it would provide a
window on the oil industry.
Runciman felt taxpayers’ money should not
be used to invest in stocks and eventually they
had to be sold at a huge loss
Runciman also objected publicly to Davis
making decisions without consulting his
backbenchers and continued this protest,
although he was snubbed by Davis and lost
any chance of being in cabinet.
Interim leaders over the years have been
admired MPPs who generally did not seek the
top job. They included Liberal Jim Bradley, an
MPP since 1977, who would be on any list of
the most solid contributors to debates in the
last 30 years.
He once said he felt honored to be named
interim leader, but it was almost impossible to
do the job adequately because a holder of the
office lacks authority.
MPPs named interim leader have to promise
not to run in the next contest for permanent
leader to prevent their using the temporary job
to promote themselves.
Murray Elston, a Liberal and former health
minister, gave this undertaking before being
made interim leader in the 1990s, but so many
pressed him to run for full leader he broke it.
Despite being handicapped by starting so
late some of his potential supporters had
declared for other candidates and breaking his
promise, Elston came within 9 votes of
winning leadership. Clearly, he would have
won if he had not opted to be interim leader.
Andy Brandt, a good-humored Conservative
interim leader in the1980s, restrained potential
candidates for full leader from fighting among
themselves while their depleted party delayed
a convention for three years, and soon after,
the Tories were back in government – interim
leaders are not totally powerless.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
The ambiance could not have been more
perfect. Rare is the opportunity when
all five senses are treated with the same
level of perfection.
Soft classical music floated soothingly over
the room, while beyond the three-storeyed glass
wall lay the escarpment in all of its autumn
splendour. Laying a head back against soft
leather, while the simmering richness of a wine-
based broth teased the nose and tempted the
palate completed the indulgence.
Invited to dinner at the home of acquaintances
recently, my husband and I revelled in this
comforting, picture-perfect setting. It was one
of those times when you just can’t help feeling
you must have done something right to be in
this place at this time.
Conversation, as is usual, touched on diverse
topics, both sensible and nonsensical. But it was
the mention of deer that ultimately raised an
eyebrow.
It seems that with so much nature surrounding
this home, Bambi shows up often, accompanied
by friends and family. One day 17 deer grazing
on their front lawn were spied. On another
occasion, a peek out the window at twilight
revealed a small number munching contentedly
on hostas.
Which led to the subject of hunting, which led
finally to the cause of the raised brow, what was
on the menu. It would seem that the delectable
aroma coming from the kitchen was moose
stew. Taken from the book of Canada’s foremost
cooking expert Madame Jehane Benoît, the
recipe, our host joked, outlined the process
clearly, from finding the moose, to shooting the
moose and skinning the moose.
There are many for whom this would not be a
problem. They are out there now, in their hunter
green and vivid orange, trekking through forests
and private woodlots in search of large game.
They wait patiently in stands and blinds for their
quarry to appear. While food is an end result,
the hunt is generally the big attraction for
enthusiasts. And that their sport controls the
deer population is a benefit that most drivers
can appreciate.
That said, it’s not something I’m particularly
comfortable with. I don’t fault those who enjoy
it. After all, to each their own. I just prefer
denial. If I don’t actually see it happen I can
pretend it doesn’t.
I do therefore, have a little difficulty getting
my tongue around certain foods. Like most, I
grew up on a diet where meat meant beef, pork,
chicken and turkey. Before I was old enough to
ponder how any of that made it to our table, I
had consumed enough that the two thoughts
were easily separated.
However, the notion of eating Bambi,
Bullwinkle, Bruno or Bugs in any shape or form
clamps my gullet shut.
Which is exactly what happened on this
particular evening. Let me tell you it took a
great bit of will in practising my art of denial to
dig in to that meal. By thinking beef and
focusing on the rich, wine-based broth, I was
soon able to appreciate the meat’s tenderness
and mild flavour. It was quite simply, a
delicious surprise.
That said, I’m no Sarah Palin (grateful for this
in so many ways). I’ll never find pleasure in
killing an animal, even for consumption. And as
the idea of eating moose still causes a reflexive
action on my esophagus, I see no reason to
expand my diet to include it any time soon.
However, it is a little gratifying to say that this
perpetually finicky eater, snoop as my mother
loved to call me, did manage to set out of her
comfort zone for a walk on the wild side.
Temporary leader clicks at thankless job
One problem with gazing too frequently
into the past is that we may turn around to
find the future has run out on us.
– Michael Cibenko
Final Thought