HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2008-09-11, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2008. PAGE 5.Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
When autumn’s here
Last Saturday morning I found myself
half way up the side of a mountain – not
Himalayan-scale, but creditable.
I wasn’t swinging across crevasses or
sucking on oxygen cylinders but I was up
there, alright. High enough to be looking down
at the backs of bald eagles soaring below me;
high enough to watch popcorn balls of cloud
scudding through a stand of fir at eye level
across a valley.
I was well beyond the urban grid and the
telephone wires, up there on my high
lonesome, a couple of hours walk from my
fellow man and all of his works.
So I did what any intrepid, pioneering
explorer type deep in the wilderness – Thor
Heyerdahl, Sir Edmond Hillary, Stanley
Livingstone – would have done in my
situation.
I whipped out my cell phone, called up my
local bookstore and reserved a Saturday copy
of the Globe and Mail.
Cheap thrill? Sure, I guess. But I’m an old
guy – so old I actually remember the
great grandfather of that slim little
lozenge I was holding to my ear up that
mountain.
Anybody else out there remember Citizens
Band radio?
Seems ludicrous now, but 30 years ago the
modern cell phone was as unreachable and
futuristic as Mister Spock’s phaser. What we
had instead were black and shiny hand-held
microphones attached by curlicue cords to the
underside of our dashboards.
It was called CB (for Citizens Band) radio
and yes, you did require that one extra
component in order to be a dyed-in-the-ether
CB-er.
You needed an automobile. Or, ideally, an
articulated 10-ton semi. CBs began life as the
preferred means of communication for North
American long-haul truck drivers. Those guys
used their CBs to keep in touch with fellow
truckers on the job.
In its early stages of its evolution, CB radio
was actually useful. Truckers could warn
fellow knights of the road about blizzards,
washouts, rock slides and traffic jams up
ahead.
Not to mention government inspectors, radar
traps and cute waitresses.
CB wasn’t just a communications device, it
was a cultural phenomenon. A CB ‘slanguage’
sprang up. Cops weren’t cops; they were
‘smokeys’or ‘bears’. (a ‘smokey on four legs’
was a Mountie).
Instead of ‘hello’ a CB-er said ‘Come on’
with an interrogative lilt at the end. As in:
“Toledo Ted, this here’s Ruptured Rabbit,
come on?’
That was the other thing about the CB
culture. You couldn’t just be Fred or Tony. You
had to give yourself a ‘handle’ like Winnipeg
Willie or Saskatoon Slim.
CB even inspired a Top Ten song – Convoy,
a mawkish, talkin’-country saga about a
bunch of rebellious truckers fed up
with paying exorbitant highway tolls. Sample
lyric:
I could see the bridge was lined with bears
but I didn’t have a doggone dime.
I sez Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck,
we just ain’t a-gonna pay no toll.
Oh, yeah – and to be really authentic, you
had to make yourself sound like a Tennessee
hillbilly – lots of ‘This here’s” and “a-
gonna’s”.
Sounds ridiculously hokey and maybe it
was, but CB seemed to work just fine when it
was solely the purview of the burly, flat-
bummed jockeys of tanker trucks and big
cargo rigs. It sounded painfully dumb when
high school kids in their dad’s station wagons
or accountants in Audis tried it on.
There were technical problems too. Solar
flares, for some reason, played hell with CB
reception, as did the sheer onslaught of
millions of fad-chasing amateurs who
clambered aboard the CB bandwagon in the
late 70s and early 80s. Reception was
unpredictable and haphazard under normal
conditions. Hordes of day-trippers swamping
the airwaves just made it worse. In the end CB
proved to be the technological equivalent of a
dinosaur with glass ankles. It collapsed of its
own weight.
Just as well. I’m a certified technophobe but
when I compare those old, clunky CB units
and the phoney, mock-jock Good Ol’ Boy
personas that went with them to the modern
mobile phone, a wire-free gizmo smaller than
a deck of cards that can take pictures, send e-
mails, download Seinfeld episodes AND allow
me to talk with crystal clarity to my cousin in
Mississauga or an old school buddy in
Melbourne, Australia – even I have to admit
that some technological advances are – to
quote my Melbourne buddy – bloody
marvellous, mate.
And that’s a ten-four, good buddy.
Arthur
Black
Other Views So long CB, may you R.I.P.
Premier Dalton McGuinty fired a
minister last fall and he must be
wondering if he did the right thing.
The minister, Steve Peters, has come back to
haunt him. Peters had been minister of
agriculture and later labour. McGuinty
dropped him and some others not because they
had done anything spectacularly wrong, but
because he was anxious to bring in some new
blood.
Peters promptly ran for Speaker of the
legislature, whose main role is to referee its
debates, and won because some fellow-Liberal
MPPs voted for him, recognizing he has
abilities and is likeable. They were supported
by Progressive Conservatives and New
Democrats who had the added incentive he
might want to get his own back on the premier.
Peters is now doing just that. While the
legislature has been adjourned for the summer,
one of its committees has begun looking at
new rules McGuinty imposed on it in the
spring, which he claimed would help it run
better, but clearly benefit his Liberals.
Peters has now spoken up strongly against
them and as the impartial Speaker he carries
some weight. The most troubling has been the
Liberals’ move of the question period, in
which ministers have to defend themselves,
from 1:30 p.m. to 10:45 a.m., on the claim this
corresponds to most others’working hours and
would enable MPPs to get home more with
their families.
But it gives the Liberals a big advantage,
because the opposition parties base most of
their questions on events late the previous day
and reports in morning newspapers and the
earlier start allows them little time to digest,
research and prepare questions.
The Liberals have had fun, jeering the
opposition parties are not willing to get up in
the morning and work.
Peters told the committee he will do as the
legislature directs him, but read a letter from
the Association of Management,
Administrative and Professional Crown
Employees of Ontario, whose members help
write, edit and co-ordinate briefing notes and
other material used by ministers in question
period, saying they have had to change their
lifestyles to accommodate the earlier start.
They said they have been able and willing to
do this for what essentially has been a two
months’trial period, but could not provide this
on a continuing, permanent basis particularly
over a long session that could produce more
contentious issues and more legislation.
Peters recalled when he was a minister his
personal staff first talked over issues he might
be questioned on, then met the association’s
bureaucrats to discuss them further. Some days
it was a problem to have well-researched
answers ready for even the 1.30 p.m. question
period, he said.
Peters urged the committee to consider the
concerns of the public employees and said it
would be unfortunate if changes the
government said were aimed to make the
legislature more family-friendly for MPPs
ended up impairing the personal and family
lives of public servants.
The Speaker added that fewer people have
been watching from the public galleries since
the time for question period has changed,
which should concern government, because all
parties have said over many years they would
like to see more residents taking an interest in
the legislature.
Peters, from a western Ontario riding, joined
other opposition MPPs who complain the
earlier starts mean they can no longer drive to
Toronto early Monday morning, for instance,
to start their week at the legislature, but have
to leave home the night before and miss events
in their home areas they and their constituents
would like them to attend.
Peters also said organizations that come to
Queen’s Park to talk to MPPs, typically by
holding early-evening receptions, have told
him fewer MPPs attend them since the
legislature stopped sitting at night and they
feel they are losing contact with the
politicians.
Peters’criticisms of the Liberal rule changes
are justified and he is not merely taking
revenge on McGuinty for firing him – but it
must be sweet.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
It’s odd isn’t it? Balmy summer-like
conditions will often carry into September;
just look back to last week for proof of
that.
And officially autumn is still more than a
week away.
Yet, the waning days, the murky twilights
presage the dark, stark months ahead.
Don’t get me wrong. I like the fall with its
paint-splattered collage of colour, its crisp air
and somber evenings. And though I hate
winter driving, and thus the isolation that
comes as a result of not wanting to drive, I do
appreciate the season’s pristinely pale palette.
There’s not much that’s prettier than sunlight
sparkling on snow.
As always, though, I find myself reluctant to
let go of summer. Long days reading on the
deck, trips to the beach and time with family
are only part of the reason. The incredible
vibrancy of the season is the other.
The other evening, for the first time in a
hectic few weeks, I decided to go for a walk.
Despite the humidity and heat, autumn was in
the air. There was a heaviness with dusk’s
earlier arrival and I felt a little sad. Then as I
strolled through the park I was literally
awestruck by the beauty of the memorial
gardens. The sight was so spellbinding that I
turned back twice to admire.
It was even sadder for me to realize the
splendour would soon be over.
Summer is the best time of the year, and of
life. The seasons have often been equated with
life and age. And there’s a reason for that.
Spring is about newness and awakening.
Things begin and grow, develop and strive to
become all they can be. It is the start of life, the
tender years when the kind of nurturing you
receive can determine how you will progress.
Summer is full bloom, that time in life when
you know what promise there is in you, when
physically things should be as good as they get
if you care for yourself properly. It is colour
and light, warmth and energy.
In autumn there is still much to look forward
to. Like the colours that adorn the trees, it is a
spectacular time of life. Things become vivid,
more focused. It is a season of bounty.
Certainly there is nostalgia, but contentment in
the richness that comes with aging.
And winter? Well.. Writers and poets, like
John Steinbeck, who speaks of its discontent,
and Robert Burns don’t exactly sing its praises.
“My trunk of eild, but buss or beild, Sinks in
Time's wintry rage.”
Sadly there are those for whom this time is a
maelstrom of misery, hope and health as
uncertain as a snowbelt blizzard.
But there can be beauty to these years,
should relatively good health continue to
accompany it. The golden years may bring
silver to the hair, but they also hold a wealth of
experiences. They aren’t bleak, but time for
reflective repose. Just as winter often forces us
to slow down, life demands little of us in old
age. Few would argue that the weariness one
might feel wasn’t earned, therefore rest is
encouraged.
As this next season approaches, co-
incidentally, I am in the autumn of my life. In
that reality there is no yearning for summer.
Sure, it would be welcome to have the old
metabolism back, to lose the new aches and
pains that decided to stop by, then stayed. Yet,
I look back at the blessings of my spring and
summer, not with longing, but fondly. What
they held has given me this autumn, which,
though it seems to be buzzing by just a bit too
quickly, is one I’m content with.
Fired minister gets his revenge
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