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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2008-07-24, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JULY 24, 2008. PAGE 5.Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt Open the floodgates Iwas watching Craig Ferguson, the ex-pat Scots comic-turned-unabashed-American- flagwaver as he gently dissed Canada on the tube the other night. “To me,” said Ferguson, “Canada is not the party. Canada is the apartment above the party.” Some truth to that. We Canucks are a tad stodgy – if you’re comparing us to the East Village, San Francisco’s Castro or Rodeo Drive. But if your American reference is Boise, Idaho, greater Wyoming or downtown Bubba, Texas, Canada is kilometres ahead on the hipster scale. We’re Errol Flynn crossed with Frieda Kahlo compared to most of backwater America. H.L. Mencken was closer to the mark when he said: “Nobody ever went broke underesti- mating the intelligence of the American public.” Or so I used to think. A couple of stories in the news last week made me re-evaluate the trans-border IQ comparison. The first story comes from the Los Angeles Times. It’s headlined AMERICANS TURN TO TAP AS BOTTLE WATER PRICES GET HARD TO SWALLOW. The story relates how U.S. consumers have finally twigged to the realization that bottled water is the biggest con since Enron. Maybe bigger. Americans shelled out a jaw- dropping $16.8 billion for bottled water last year – this for a product they could get from the kitchen tap for free. Okay, not for free, but for pennies a year. Anybody who gets their daily water intake in Dasani or Aquafina bottles is spending thousands of dollars annually. For water. And Americans have finally figured it out. They’ve realized that bottled water is not only no healthier than tap water, it IS tap water in many cases. Dasani? Bottled by Coca Cola. Aquafina? Brought to you by PepsiCo. And both are drawn directly from municipal water supplies. People who drink Dasani or Aquafina get to pay for it twice – once through their taxes, then again at the checkout counter. But Dasani and Aquafina are the McDonalds and Taco Bell of bottled waters. Consumers who are truly discriminating prefer premium brands, brands that might be distilled, decanted, oxygenated, de-ionized or even osmosis reversed. They may, their labels will claim, have been captured from remote glaciers, diverted from sparkling mountain streams or, as in the case of New Zealand’s best selling ‘Eternal’ artesian water “filtered through layers of volcanic rock where it has collected for a millennia (sic)” Still just water, folks. Not that you’d guess from the price tag. A single glass of Evian water at Claridge’s in London will add five quid to your tab. You can pay $33.50 for two ounces of MaHaLo, a desalinated seawater brand bottled in Hawaii. (Mind you, that’s a concentrate. You have to dilute it before you indulge. Which means you must add water to your…er…water. But hell, let’s assume you’re a fabulously successful Colombian drug lord – or even a cabinet minister with a government expense account. In that case, you’ll be wanting a chilled bottle of BlingH2O sent over to your table. That really is the brand name and it really is available at finer watering holes everywhere. It’ll only set you back $480 for a special- edition 750 millilitre bottle. That’s roughly a million times more than you pay when you draw the same product from your kitchen faucet. But as I say, the Americans, those gullible souls, have finally figured it out. The worm has turned. The penny has dropped. They’ve seen the light. Which brings me to the second news story that caught my eye. It’s headlined CANADIANS SHUN TAP, TURN TO BOTTLED WATER. The story is about a Statistics Canada survey which shows that three in 10 Canadian households reported drinking bottled water in their homes. Why – safety? Few products are safer than North American tap water. As Washington Post correspondent Shankar Vedantam writes: “The supply of clean drinking water is an under-appreciated scientific and technological achievement that rivals putting a man on the moon. Trillions of dollars have been spent to get clean drinking water to people at virtually no cost.” Taste? Tests have shown again and again that if you take away the labels most consumers can’t tell tap from bottled water. Convenience? What can be more convenient than strolling to the kitchen sink, twisting your wrist and chugalugging as much as you want? Even Neil Rothwell, author of the StatsCan report, confesses to being buffaloed. “Something is driving these households to drink bottled water.” Now what could that be? Einstein famously said: “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” Can I buy you a drink, Albert? Arthur Black Other Views How much is that in water? P remier Dalton McGuinty suddenly is sounding cocky and it will hurt him. The Liberal leader declared his party will win a third successive majority in the 2011 election, because the opposition parties cannot handle the challenges the province faces, and his is the only party that takes the time to get it right. He also said he will lead it in the next election. McGuinty could be wrong on all counts. No party except in Russia can be sure of winning an election more than three years ahead. McGuinty is far ahead in polls. The Progressive Conservative leader he defeated in 2007 cannot even obtain a seat to speak from in the legislature and the New Democrats have been moribund since a disastrous turn in government in a recession nearly two decades ago. But no one can rule out issues emerging that could erode McGuinty’s popularity, including an economic slump he has been unable to do much to avoid. Comfortable-looking premiers have tumbled in less time. Conservative Mike Harris also won successive majority governments, but fell so quickly in favour with his policy of slashing public services he quit before voters could turn him out. David Peterson, last Liberal premier before McGuinty, had a huge majority in polls right up to the time he called an election, and even lost his seat. Conservatives under Frank Miller had a similar lead in polls before an election, but were reduced to a minority and forced out. A week is said to be a long time in politics and three years is long enough to change the world. McGuinty was uncharacteristic in bragging he would wipe the floor with opponents, because his image is more of a skinny guy who talks a lot about caring and avoids fights. Ontarians also have shown they like leaders who appear modest. Even Harris, the last dominating premier, who sneered at demonstrators “I don’t do demos,” never boasted he would win in a walk. New Democrat Bob Rae, when he surprisingly won enough votes to be premier, said modestly he felt as if he should demand a recount. Peterson once boasted he raised the Ontario Liberal party from the dead, after it had been 42 years out of government, but this was more an internal issue in the party and not a boast of what he would do to others. When Peterson was defeated, he also accepted the whole blame, saying he lost “because of sickness – voters became sick of me.” Conservative William Davis, the longest- serving premier in recent decades, boasted only once, when he regained his majority after two unsuccessful tries. He paraded around a victory stage and explained “when you’ve got it, flaunt it,” a catchphrase of the times. John Robarts similarly preserved a modest front, saying in a dispute over whether an Ontario leader should be called prime minister or premier, “call me prime minister or premier or John, if you want – that’s my name.” McGuinty may have boasted because he wanted to impress he is winning over the public to counter complaints by some of his MPPs he drafts policy without consulting them and listens more to unelected advisers. His words will come back to haunt him. He will be recalled as bragging, when the election comes and the fight between parties inevitably becomes tighter. He will have difficulty establishing he takes time to get things right, because he had to abandon a plan to abolish reading The Lord’s Prayer at legislature sessions and his surprise introduction of a new statutory holiday, Family Day, produced chaos. His declaration he will lead the Liberals next election also is meaningless, because every premier who retired has solemnly assured he has no intention of stepping down until the moment he announced his departure. Leaders never want to be handicapped as lame ducks. This does not mean McGuinty will not run again, but simply that a premier’s word on whether he will run cannot be relied on. Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk Amuggy day, the waning hours of sunlight and the relentless attack of mosquitoes brought an end to outdoor activity. Air-conditioning beckoned and with hours to go until bedtime, it seemed a movie was in order. I’m not a big Adam Sandler fan, though I’ll be honest and admit he has provided me with the odd giggle. But my guest was in the mood to watch Click, so I settled down and prepared for some mindless entertainment. For anyone who doesn’t know the plot, Sandler is Michael, an up-and-coming architect, striving to make partner and struggling to balance the workload with the responsibilities and demands of family life. Irritated by the multiple remote controls operating everything from television to garage door, he heads out late one evening to find a universal one. The only store open is Bed, Bath and Beyond, where, in ‘beyond’he meets Morty who supplies him with the answer to his problems. Michael soon discovers he can use the remote to actually control his life. He can skip chapters, pause, advance and step into the past. He then ultimately finds out the price he has paid is too high. Now as I’ve hinted, (unnecessarily for anyone familiar with his body of work) Sandler as an actor is not exactly Academy Award-winning material. That said, there is this one scene... Realizing he has fast forwarded through life, Sandler discovers his young son is now a man, and learns from him that his own father has passed away. Michael rewinds to the last time he saw him. His dad had stopped by the office. Michael was too busy to pay any attention to him, and finally snaps at him. His father gently touches his head, tells him he loves him and crying softly, walks out the door. And I cried with him. Now this isn’t exactly a strange phenomenon for me. It occurs quite regularly actually, even watching commercials or reading a book. My daughter often teases me about my drippy sentimentality. Having seen a movie recently that had made her cry, she has informed me that when she loans it to me I will be watching it alone. I believe she said she would not be a witness to the blubbering mess I would become. Curious, I checked out the synopsis. And yes, she’s right. I barely made it through that without welling up. In real situations, there is often a need to be strong, to keep a stiff upper lip. People often feel helpless and uneasy about how to respond when they see someone in emotional pain. As a result when we’re sad and there are people around, we don’t always let go as we’d like. But, when it comes to movies, books or television, crying comes cheap. When I sob at a movie no one worries about what to do for me. Instead they generally enjoy a chuckle at my expense. And I, bawling and wailing, can hide my face in a pillow and just let go to a sadness that is empathetic, yet not personal. I can relate to the grief, pain or heartbreak but there is no emotional attachment. My tears are for a possibility, not a reality. And let’s be honest. Sometimes it just feels good to shed them. Crying is an emotional release. Most people know that. But studies have also indicated tears actually remove toxic substances from our body. So with that in mind, I am preparing for my next muggy movie day, the opening of the floodgates and the blubbering mess I will become. Cockiness could cost McGuinty Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means. – Robert Louis Stevenson Final Thought