HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2008-07-03, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 26, 2008. PAGE 5.
Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
Don’t be cruel
Do you have an Inner Animal? Of
course you do – we all do. Sometimes
it’s just a little tricky to figure out
which animal it is.
Pierre Trudeau was a slam dunk – a Siamese
cat. Or perhaps a wolf.
Paul Martin was more of a beagle.
Don Cherry? Junkyard dog.
Some professions have honourary Inner
Animals. Judges get owls; policemen get
bulldogs; politicians get weasels.
Lawyers? That’s too easy.
I, too, have my Inner Animal. His name is
Shane. He is a buckskin palomino with a black
mane and glinty eyes, not real high, but stocky.
I first met him when I was just a pup and
Shane was not much more than a big colt
himself. I remember our first encounter well. I
grabbed a big tuft of sweet green grass and
walked up to Shane, proferring my gift. He
swung his great head down, chuffed noisily,
then whisked my grass bouquet out of my
hand.
I stood there while he ate it down. Then he
swung his velvety muzzle over my head and
began to snuffle in my hair.
“He likes me,” I shouted excitedly to my
friends.
Then Shane lifted me off the ground. By my
hair.
It hurt quite a bit, but it was at least a frank
introduction to Shane and his wily,
unpredictable ways. He was a horse you could
never take for granted. And he was always
testing, testing.
I remember the time a farrier was cleaning
out Shane’s front hooves. He had the horse’s
left front foreleg securely between his thighs,
and he was facing astern.
This is the classic farrier position for
cleaning front hooves. The horse is effectively
immobilized by having one foot off the
ground. In such a position there’s nothing the
horse can do to retaliate or resist.
Usually.
Shane waited until the farrier was
thoroughly engrossed in his chore, then leaned
over and gracefully bit the farrier’s ear.
Horses don’t bite people on the ear. Shane
did.
The expression ‘pushing the envelope’ was
invented for Shane. He could always surprise
you, no matter how familiar you thought you
were with him.
I looked after Shane as I was growing up,
feeding him, bedding him, grooming him. I
figured we were pretty good pals. Then one
day when I was shovelling out his stall I got a
little impatient because he wasn’t moving over
fast enough to suit me. I gave him a little bunt
in the haunch with the handle of my manure
fork.
I can still summon up the vision of that rear
hoof whizzing by at eye level just millimetres
from my head. It was one of the few times
Shane missed.
We could never figure out where Shane got
his attitude. He wasn’t a stallion, but he acted
like one.
Put him in with a herd of strange horses and
in no time he was in charge, rounding up the
mares, bossing the foals around and settling
the hash of any other geldings or even stallions
that dared to question his kingship.
Then there was my personal Shane moment
of truth. It was a sunny winter afternoon. I had
finished mucking out the stalls. Shane was
outside in the corral. What a perfect day, I
thought, to ride him – bareback.
He bucked me off 12 times and I only lasted
that long because there was a foot of snow on
the ground and the landings were relatively
soft.
Weird enough that I kept coming back for
more – Shane did too. He would actually come
and stand in place so that I could mount him
more easily – and he could buck me off again.
The 13th time I climbed aboard he was as
gentle as a hamster and sashayed me around
the corral as if I was driving a Cadillac. I don’t
know if he was tired or bored or just being
careful not to discourage me from future
exciting afternoon outings. You could never
be sure about much of anything with that
horse.
Our lives diverged and I lost track of Shane.
I heard he got sold a couple of times, finally
ending up on a dude ranch riding stable north
of Toronto.
The very last thing I heard came from a cop
I knew who told me about his weirdest
emergency call – a buckskin palomino leading
a herd of horses down Highway 27.
“Damndest thing,” the cop said. “Most
horses jump over fences to get away, but this
palomino, he just went around leaning his big
bum against the rails until he found a weak
spot. Then he not only escapes, he takes the
whole herd with him. It was like a prison
break.”
Had to be Shane.
Arthur
Black
Other Views A horse is a horse, of course, of course
Premier Dalton McGuinty did not
arrange for a plane he was on to get in
trouble and plunge frighteningly 20,000
ft toward ground, but it could still do wonders
for his image.
The Liberal premier was returning with five
of his staff from selling high technology in
California when the Air Canada jet they and
130 others were on suddenly lost cabin
pressure because a seal burst and had to dive
quickly and steeply to 10,000 ft., so they could
breathe again.
Some passengers ignored warnings and
stood and fell, others vomited as the plane
twisted and turned, and some in McGuinty’s
group said they feared for their lives.
But the premier sat calmly, even while the
aircraft flew over the Nevada desert for three
more hours, burning off excess fuel that made
it dangerous to land, before touching down at
Las Vegas.
McGuinty’s staff said they were stressed and
looked it, but the premier posed with the flight
crew for pictures and assured TV watchers it
was an adventure and “all’s well that ends
well.”
This could help McGuinty, because voters
like their premiers, who have always been
men, showing a dash of fortitude and
backbone when the need arises.
William Davis, when Progressive
Conservative premier, was on a plane hit by
lightning over northern Ontario during an
election in the 1970s. Those on board,
including this reporter, felt severe turbulence
and saw the lightning, but did not know it had
been hit until after the plane landed, and Davis
said he did not feel in danger.
But this picture of a politician who risked
his life to take his message to the public
probably helped him with some voters.
Premiers liked to show they were tough,
often through sports. Davis and his
Conservative predecessor, John Robarts,
played football for their universities, and their
staffs were not above reminding news media.
Davis often reminded further by betting with
reporters on football matches.
Robarts provided the most notable serious
example of fortitude, when he became ill at
home in London and was so weak he could not
fasten his tie. A doctor ordered an ambulance
to take him to hospital. Robarts refused to get
in it and went by car with the ambulance
following.
He was diagnosed as suffering from severe
hiatus hernia and spent three weeks in
hospital.
Mike Harris was known as a hard driver in
golf, not as bruising a game as football, but he
had been a professional. Pictures of him
playing, muscular in a sports shirt and with a
cigar clenched between his lips, showed him
very much a man’s man.
Harris’s reputation for being tough,
however, was based more on his standing up to
hostile demonstrations against his cuts in
public services, in one of which even his wife
was jostled. Harris seemed to relish them and
claimed they never forced him to change a
policy.
Many admired him for it.
McGuinty often is called a policy wonk,
interested most in social issues and not known
for any sports in which he could display his
grit. He derided Harris’s passion for golf by
saying “the only deadline he ever keeps is his
tee-off time,” although, as premier, he plays
golf to raise money to fight elections.
McGuinty has said he writes poetry to his
wife, Terri, to while away long nights when he
is on road, politicking.
The Liberals in recent elections got more
votes from women than the Conservatives, but
this probably was because of their focus on
social policies, while the Conservatives have
been tighter with money and seen as harsher.
McGuinty, slim to the point of looking
fragile, has an image as tender and gentle.
Women would probably like to mother him.
He has not been seen as a man of action.
Voters will not flock to McGuinty because
he kept his head on a plane. But some may feel
he is the kind of steady, unflappable leader – to
parody the U.S. presidential election – they
would want to answer the phone at three
o’clock in the morning.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
Norman Rockwell couldn’t have painted a
better picture. A group of youngsters,
barefoot and carefree enjoying a
summer idyll. While some clustered by the
rusted legs of an old swingset, stealing mysteries
unearthed from the emerald lawn and the dark
soil beneath, others circled around on proudly
care-worn bikes.
They were my friends. And this was a day like
many others.
In my early, early youth the neighbourhood in
which I lived was blessed with a plethora of
potential playmates. Boys, girls, we spent our
carefree summers in various forms of
entertainment, from pick-up baseball to late
evening games of chase or hide and seek.
Sometimes there were many, sometimes only a
few. But everyone always knew they were
welcome to join in.
Well, with the exception of one girl. Though
she often took part, she was also often the target
of cruel pettiness. In the impossible to
understand way of children, she had been
labeled annoying – and that was reason enough.
On this particular Rockwellian day she had
bravely ventured over to involve herself in our
fun. While others teased I decided a stronger
message needed to be sent that we found her
irritating, and rode my bicycle into her.
She was thankfully not hurt, and I, I’m happy
to say, was sorely ashamed. It is a dismal feeling
I remember strongly to this day and try never to
repeat. I hope, and if I’m wrong I apologize with
more heartfelt certainty than you could ever
imagine, that I have never since intentionally
tried to hurt someone by word or deed.
Others, apparently, don’t find it such a
problem. Any businessperson dealing with the
public will tell you that that public can be
downright churlish. That people can be petty,
unkind, childish and unfair, was a recent topic of
discussion between a friend and me, prompting
the thoughts here.
We get some pretty interesting accusations at
this office, including one some years ago. What
had vexed the person so greatly was her
misspelled name and the not exactly obvious
assumption from this that I choose someone
each week to humiliate. Thinking she was
kidding, I chuckled. She then deemed me to be a
mean-spirited person and told me so in a rather
mean-spirited manner with plenty of just plain
mean descriptives. I have always hoped she felt
better at the end, because I most certainly did
not.
There are ways to state how you feel without
sacrificing someone else in the process.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work the way it
should. When angry, frustrated or beleaguered it
can be difficult to always divest one’s self of
these feelings appropriately. Sometimes we lash
out because of a feeling of impotence. Unfairly,
we occasionally shoot the messenger rather than
target the direct source of the problem because
they are not as close at hand.
And, of course, everybody has bad days.
But it’s the schoolyard bullies, victims of little
man syndrome now all grown up who offend.
For them it’s not a rare occurrence. You can tell,
they’re far too good at it. It’s not about
considering whether insults are necessary,
either, but that they are in their misguided mind
at least, absolutely justified in saying them. And
usually do so with the smart-aleck’s smug sneer
on their face.
It’s sad there are those who seek the
humiliation of another on the path to their
satisfaction. That is what I did that day so long
ago when I distorted that picture-perfect
summer day. But I was a child. That adults can
be so mean is nothing short of pathetic.
McGuinty helped by air fright
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