HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2008-05-15, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, MAY 15, 2008. PAGE 5.
Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
A sure cure
T he pen was an archaic instrument,
seldom used even for
signatures...Apart from very short
notes, it was usual to dictate everything into
the Speak-Write... (1984)
Ah, yes. According to George Orwell’s
terrifying but, it turns out, not-so-prophetic
novel, we should be into at least our third
decade of The Paperless Society by now.
Orwell predicted that it would be achieved
through tyranny. Other Brave New Worlders
among us have been forecasting the end of
paper since at least the 1970s.
The forecasts were a tad premature.
A poll just released by Leger Marketing
shows that we’re using more paper than ever
before. According to Leger, Canadians are
printing out about 30 pages of documents per
person, per day.
Like most polls, this one makes me scratch
my head a bit. All Canadians?
I certainly don’t achieve that daily quota,
and I seriously doubt that Nova Scotia
lobstermen, B.C. tree planters and Manitoba
rapeseed farmers are downing traps, shovels
and disc harrows to rush over to their printers
and churn out 30 pages of data every day, but
let it pass.
This poll boasts a margin of error “plus or
minus 3.4 percentage points, 19 times out of
20” and who am I to argue with performance
figures like that – whatever the hell they might
mean?
Let’s suppose the poll is accurate. Let us
further suppose the Leger pollsters are correct
in their observation that nearly half the
respondents are producing even more
documents that they were five years ago. In
other words, that The Paperless Society is
getting further away rather than closer.
The pollsters report this as if it’s some
strange and inexplicable phenomenon. I say:
“Yeah, so? What did you expect?”
People like paper. You can hold it in your
hand or fold it up and put it in your pocket.
Next time you check, the paper will still be
there. It won’t vanish in a phosphorescent
poof, or greet you with a line of type reading
FILE NOT FOUND or INTERNET ACCESS
NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME.
And that’s the other side of this two-faced
socio-cultural shekel: as much as we feel
comfortable with paper, we fear and loathe our
computers. Why wouldn’t we?
Personal computers, once heralded as
technological Lone Rangers riding to our
rescue, have turned out to be tiresome and
infuriating burdens ranking somewhere
between migraines and jock itch.
The personal computer. Like brassieres that
hook at the back, the Edsel and the notion to
introduce rabbits to the Australian outback, it
seemed like a good idea at the time.
But then hooking up with the Great White
Gods From Across The Sea seemed like a
good idea to First Nations people – until they
found out about VD and Smallpox.
PCs too, come with a blizzard of
technological variations of the Clap. They’re
even called viruses. My computer guru
informs me that I need to make my computer
password ‘more sophisticated’ to foil hackers
and the viruses they throw around like grass
seed.
“You mean ‘ablack44’” isn’t wily enough?”
I ask her.
She smirks. “Your password should be at
least 15 characters long,” she tells me.
“So…like ‘Friendsromanscountrymen’”? I
suggest. She smirks again. “Don’t use a
guessable phrase,” she says. “Hackers love
that. And be sure to throw in some numbers.
And some upper and lower case. And some
special characters.”
I think we settled on
‘G%*rnxy*85thislAnd$&FnorZ’ as my new
password. I’m sharing it with you because I
won’t be using it. I threw up my hands when
she told me I need at least four new passwords
– and that I should change them all once a
month.
Life’s too short, folks. And paper’s still
too handy. Contrary to what Bill Gates told us,
the personal computer is not ‘the magic
key to the future’. That was an empty
promise.
As Sam Goldwyn said, “Never trust a verbal
promise. A verbal promise ain’t worth the
paper it’s written on.”
Arthur
Black
Other Views Paperless society? Hah
Premier Dalton McGuinty is missing
opportunities to make the legislature
work better for MPPs and the public –
he is too busy looking after himself.
The Liberal premier has forced through rule
changes under which the legislature conducts
its most important event, question period, in
the mornings on the ground this corresponds
more to others’ normal workdays.
Criticism properly has focused on this,
because it reduces the time opposition parties
and their small staffs have to prepare
questions, which mostly are based on
happenings late the day before and morning
newspapers.
It provides no such problem for the
government in preparing answers, because it
has so many eager young staffers running
around the corridors at Queen’s Park it looks
more like a branch of the University of
Toronto next door. Ministers also do not have
to give real answers, but can just smother
questioners in irrelevancies.
The government argues it is providing more
time for debates, but this could be achieved
better by, for example, abolishing the practice
of allowing all parties to ask questions in
rotation so government MPPs ask almost as
many as opponents.
Liberal MPPs use their opportunities almost
invariably to ask ministers to re-announce
programs they have already announced (as the
Progressive Conservatives and New
Democrats did when they were in
government.)
The first day under McGuinty’s new rules
exemplified this. Liberal Linda Jeffrey wanted
to know what the government is doing to keep
Ontarians safe in emergency.
Community Safety Minister Rick Bartolucci
congratulated her for being “so proactive on
emergency preparedness” – ministers always
praise Liberal questioners, hoping this will be
reported back in their ridings -- and said by
coincidence he recently outlined government
policies and did it again.
Yasir Naqvi, the next Liberal questioner,
said he was pleased Health Minister George
Smitherman visited a hospital in his Ottawa
riding and asked him baldly to repeat what he
said there.
Smitherman gushed the MPP is “so vigorous
in supporting investments in his community”
and their government is busy making radiation
treatment more accessible.
Bas Balkissoon suggested the government
has been tough on crime and asked for an
update and Attorney General Chris Bentley
lauded the Liberal as an ardent advocate of
fighting crime and reeled off his policies.
Carol Mitchell needed to know what her
government is doing to support festivals in her
riding and Tourism Minister Peter Fonseca
called her a wonderful champion for her
community and read a list of its help.
The Liberals did not have a genuine
question and should no longer be allowed to
take up time in which the opposition parties
could ask real questions.
The government has ended almost all
evening sittings of the legislature on the
grounds they interfered with MPPs’family life
and provided a poor level of debate, and there
is some truth particularly in the latter.
Few MPPs attended, often not the required
number to continue so whips had to scurry to
round up others. Sittings often adjourned early
because they had nothing to debate. News
media virtually never attended and there was
no chance MPPs would get their names in the
papers.
But the parties made the evening sessions
what they were. They used to be well attended
and sometimes a premier would show up.
Reporters also covered them and found them
worth staying for.
The Liberals and other parties also have not
suggested the legislature stay open more of the
year. It sits an average of only 83 days,
although governments usually count each
evening sitting as an extra day to suggest to the
public they work longer.
The Liberal government complains
constantly debates take too long and cuts them
off and the opposition parties are always
protesting they are not allowed enough time to
discuss important issues.
The legislature is fully staffed to operate
year-round and politicians should have it
sitting more of the year, dealing with issues
while they are topical – they no longer have to
be home tilling their fields.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
Iwalk. Fast as I can. Not because I want to,
not because I have places to go. No, I walk
because I’m middle-aged and want to do
everything I can to get older well.
While today the emphasis on exercise is as
strong as ever, for me the focus behind it has
certainly shifted. I remember a space in time
some years ago when I planned an aggressive
attack on my lifestyle. It involved not just
altering my diet, but embarking on a rigorous
fitness routine that combined both cardio and
muscle strengthening. I toned, lost weight and
felt incredible.
However, for the past several years, neither
amping up the routine, nor altering it has
resulted in a loss of weight. It’s no longer about
losing fat and building muscle to create a nice
stream-lined physique and improve energy. The
adrenal charge has retreated and I sometimes
feel I’m losing the war. Interestingly, I can
attribute many of my aches and pains to
exercise. Exercise no longer rejuvenates.
Rather than a sudden surge of vitality what I
tend to feel instead is an enveloping exhaustion.
No, now it’s all about hanging on for dear life.
I exercise because I’m told over and over that
for my own good, I must.
So I take to the streets with a friend and use
my treadmill with a degree of faithfulness, all
with no tangible proof of the benefit of my
efforts. It’s probably improving my cholesterol
and sugar levels. It’s probably increasing my
immunity and aiding in the battle against
osteoporosis. And while I may not be dropping
pounds I’m not gaining them either.
Because fitness has become more of a must
for me, however, and because I hate doing
things I must, I begrudge the time it takes.
Three-quarters of an hour minimum every day
shouldn’t be too difficult to squeeze in, but it
seems harder than it should.
Add to this the fact that cardio and toning
work isn’t enough for an aging body and it’s
occurred to me I could probably dedicate every
waking hour to exercise in some form or
another. A magazine I subscribe to offers a
section that targets particular problem areas and
suggests exercises that will strengthen or ease
discomfort. So what would my time be like if I
were to try and address all that needed
addressing?
Sitting at a computer all day? Try these neck
and shoulder routines. Just four sets of seven,
three times a day. Lower back problems?
Complete these simple exercises every day, four
times a day. Repeat each one eight times.
Reaching that certain age? These steps will help
you strengthen muscles and help ward off
osteoporosis. Do 10 reps of each of the five
exercises three times a day.
It’s important of course to keep muscles and
ligaments flexible. Follow this set of stretching
exercises, repeating each one five times. Do
them morning and night.
Carpal tunnel or tendonitis? Try these mini-
stretches to lessen inflammation. They’ll take
about half an hour a day.
Tired feet? Well, there’s also some work that
can be done here to improve the situation. Just
an hour or so each day will give your tender
tootsies some much needed TLC.
Add to all of this the massage, the ice, the
heat and it’s no wonder I feel challenged to fit it
all in.
Wonder what would happen if instead I
stepped back from the computer, took a
leisurely stroll, then kicked off my shoes and
stretched out on the grass before enjoying a
good long soak in a soothing bubble bath with a
glass of chilled wine? Now doesn’t that sound
like an easy to fit in, sure cure for everything?
Premier fails legislature reform
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The pessimist sees difficulty in every
opportunity. The optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty.
– Winston Churchill
Final Thought