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The Citizen, 2008-04-03, Page 10PAGE 10. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, APRIL 3, 2008.Self-care in the face of stress can go a long wayThese are uncertain times. Thereare concerns about the environment,unstable agricultural markets and erratic stock markets, retirement security and pensions, government budgetary issues and prices steadily on the rise at the gas pumps, all of which can add to a stressful lifestyle. Stress is nothing new. People have been having money and family problems for centuries. So it isn’t surprising that methods of reducing stress aren’t exactly groundbreaking either. While things can get bad, and many factors are out of reach, one thing that is within reach is self-care, something that can be all-too-often ignored in the busy working world of today. Counsellor Gabriel Delbianco of Auburn offers advice to help with the trials of everyday life. Many of his suggestions involve self-care, perspective and perception. Delbianco says that often self-care takes a backseat to the needs of items more closely associated with work. He says that while a part for a piece of machinery, for instance, will take hours out of someone’s day to fix, a 10-minute break for themselves is often out of the question. “Self-care, in the face of all that’s happening, may not seem like a lot, but it’s the only thing we can have control over,” he said. “I wake up in the morning, I shouldn’t skip breakfast. I need to get decent sleep. I still need to get out from time to time.” While stress may sound like a negative term, Delbianco says that stress, itself, isn’t bad. It’s when stress becomes unmanageable that people tend to disrupt their day-to-day lives, become isolated and endanger relationships. Citing a psychiatrist, Delbianco says that the three things people need in their lives is to be safe, to feel that their efforts have purpose and to be appreciated for those efforts. Delbianco stresses that while people may be tired of hearing it, the foundation to build upon is rest,exercise and diet, RED.“The body is like a machine,” hesays. “If we decide that we’re mad atour car, that we’re not going tochange the oil, or put gas in it, aftera while, it won’t work.” Often with many of his contracts, several of them being with large companies, he is viewed as someone brought in to placate employees, to keep them calm and quiet, he says, which has a lot to do with the way counselling is still viewed in culture today. “When I was first brought on board with OMAFRA [in 1998], some farmers reacted very negatively to their bringing a counsellor on board. At my first meeting, one farmer stood up and said, ‘I think this money would have been better spent on our farms.’ I understood that. They were asking what help I was going to be at their farms, and the answer was none,” he said. “Even though if you split up my wage, each farmer would get something like $70 more for their farms. But then I said that I would be on their farms, indirectly. If they wanted to talk to me about things they didn’t want to burden anyone else with, they’re going to work differently.” Delbianco stresses that time away from a person’s stressful environment can make a world of difference. He says it creates a buffer and gives a person time to think and talk with others about something else. Expectations can have a lot to do with a person’s perception of stress as well, Delbianco says, making the load unmanageable. “A lot of times these days it can be so easy to find yourself falling short and thinking that 100 per cent of your effort isn’t good enough anymore. That is usually where an unmanageable level of stress comes in,” he said. Delbianco stresses that the past can be very alive in people’s minds when it comes to counselling; that being the leader of a family and the traditional male ego can play a role in the perception of stress when it comes to men. “As much as we’ve changed in society, the male ego ventures on.Unfortunately society still measuresmales especially, by what they do,”he says. “However, that being said, I don’tthink there are many human beingswho accept failure well. From our earliest days, we’re not rewarded for merely trying. Our room for failure shrinks as we get older and our expectations rise.” Alongside the male ego aspect, is the responsibility carried by many people who sit in the seat at the head of their table. When problems or doubts arise, it can be hard to go to your family when they look to you for support. “At home, a lot of men might be afraid to admit to their wife or their children that they’re overwhelmed because it affects them too,” he says. Though Delbianco stresses that much of his counselling starts at home, he provides several services out of his home. In a converted old church, he has several offices for one-on-one sessions, a wide main room for group sessions and a back section which he calls “The Haven”. The Haven has several couches and a bed and is open to people for up to two days. These stays can include counselling sessions, but they don’t have to. He says that this area has been used to get away from everyday life, like a retreat, for families to come and talk for extended periods of time, but he has also had people come and just sleep uninterrupted for a while. Like time spent in The Haven, counselling can be difficult, but it is different for everyone, as everyone has different needs. Delbianco says that many clients find talking one- on-one with him to be the most helpful, but that there are those willing to embrace alternative methods like tai chi, meditation and acupuncture. But he stresses, that fixing the problem starts and ends within the person. “I don’t solve people’s problems. I just invite them to rediscover another approach to their problems,” he said. “In the end, I journey with them and kick stones over to see what’s under them.” NOTICE TO DOG OWNERS IN THE MUNICIPALITY OF MORRIS-TURNBERRY 2008 Dog Tags and licences are now available (Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm) at the Municipality of Morris-Turnberry Municipal Office, 41342 Morris Rd. R.R. 4, Brussels, ON N0G 1H0 *** Tags can be picked up in person or ordered by telephone*** All dogs must be licensed in compliance with By-law No. 63-2004. A copy of the complete By-law is available for review at the Municipal Office. All dogs must be identified by means of a tag and licence, issued for a (1) one year period by: Friday, April 25, 2008 The fee schedule shall be as follows: 1/All Dogs (except those listed in #2) - males, females, and spayed females $20.00 per dog 2/Pit bulls, Pit bull crosses, Staffordshire terriers $100.00 per dog 3/Kennel License Fee $75.00 (for a kennel of dogs that are registered or eligible for registration under the Animal Pedigree Act) 4/Late Payment Charge $20.00 per dog (Shall be assessed in addition to the licence fee, if the licence and/or tag is not purchased by April 25th) Excrement: The By-law requires dog owners to forthwith remove excrement left by a dog, from property other than the premises of the owner of the dog. Any person contravening this provision is subject to a $50.00 fee. For further information contact: The Municipality of Morris-Turnberry Telephone: 519-887-6137 Fax: 519-887-6424 E-mail: morris@scsinternet.com By Shawn LoughlinThe Citizen Simplify While stress can be all-encompassing, there are things that can be done to help, many circulating around exercise, diet and rest. When things can become unmanageable, these are factors that can be managed by the individual. (MS Photo) 44 Victoria St. S.,GODERICH 524-9975 APRIL 2 - 5 Wednesday to Friday 10am-5:30pm Saturday 9:30am-3pm Huge Selection of PROM & GRADUATION DRESSES in all the latest styles & colours Specially priced from $5900 See our New Spring Arrivals for MOTHERS’ & SPECIAL OCCASIONS Large selection of in-stock designer dresses Specially priced up to 50% Selected In-stock FLOWERGIRLS’ DRESSES & WEDDING GOWNS up to 60% A GRADUATION DRESS! PLUS... DOOR PRIZES! Enter in Store. Off Off For all your formal wear needs. 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