Loading...
The Citizen, 2008-02-14, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2008. PAGE 5. Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt A Valentine’s gift Idon’t make a habit of rhapsodizing over the juxtaposition of two of the 26 letters in our alphabet, but lately I’ve been gleefully gloating over the glut of glorious words that would fit in the ‘gl’ glossary. If there was a ‘gl’ glossary. It’s quite striking, the number – and power – of English words that begin (or contain) the ‘gl’ combination. Like, for instance, English. It’s a construction that gives us beautiful words like globular and glissando and ‘gladiola’. It spawns plenty of powerful, evocative words as well. Words like glower glaze and glitter. It also serves up its share of ugly (there it is again) words like ‘glutton’ and gloat and glitch. We’ve even, in our lifetimes, imported a Russian ‘gl’ word – Glasnost. In his book, Welcome to the Monkey House, the writer Kurt Vonnegut went so far as to coin a brand new ‘gl’ word. Are you familiar with that horrible, lifeless brown-green slop that coats the bottom of harbours and bays polluted by too many boats and un-housebroken humans? Vonnegut was too. He dubbed the toxic slime glurp. Mister Vonnegut is no longer with us, more’s the pity, but I have a feeling he would approve of two brand new ‘gl’ words, lately, ahem, gleaned from our ubiquitous friend, the Internet. The first is glamping. Glamping is what happens when Paris Hilton meets Lord Baden- Powell. The word is a contraction of two words that you’d think would form a natural oxymoron – glamour and camping. Glampers are people who enjoy the beauty and peace of the great outdoors but not the hardships associated with actually, you know, experiencing it. They don’t care for lumpy sleeping bags, smoky campfires, leaky tents or pungent pit toilets. When one goes glamping, one avoids all that awkward, messy back-to-nature stuff. Glampers luxuriate in capacious tents with real beds, duvets and even Persian-carpeted floors. These tents, which would do a Saudi oil sheik proud, come with power outlets, the better to provide electric light and juice to run those oh-so-necessary Playstations, Blackberrys and hair dryers. Don’t look for these pastoral palaces to be springing up in campgrounds at Banff or Algonquin Park or even the local KOA trailer park – at least, not yet. So far, the fad of glamping is pretty much confined to Europe, where upscale glampers like Kate Moss and Sienna Miller glamorized the practice by showing up at music festivals and demanding five star treatment. They definitely started something. Marks and Spencer, the British retail store has just announced a whole new line of fancypants tents and glamping accessories including…floral tent pegs. Floral tent pegs. Can you imagine what Grey Owl would say? It may be largely a European phenomenon so far, but there are signs that it’s already made a North American landfall. A report in The Los Angeles Times notes that although the overall number of visitors to U.S. national parks is dropping, sporadic flocks of Glampers have begun to raise their well-coiffed heads. But I promised you two new ‘gl’ words, didn’t I? Okay, here’s the second one: Glurge. Don’t know what it means? Check your e- mail. Chances are you’ve got two or three examples of glurge in your inbox. The Urban Dictionary has the best definition I’ve read: Glurge: Word used to describe the syrupy sweet e-mails that are mass-mailed to unwilling participants. Usually involve, puppies, kitties, children with disabilities, puppies and kitties with disabilities, and Jesus. Generally end with, "Pass this along 2 as many ppl as u can!!!11!!1!" Yep, we’ve all seen too many of those. But here’s a thought. What if a couple of Glaswegian glampers – say Glenn Close and Gary Glitter – gleefully gathered in a glen near Glastonbury to glue together a conglomeration of glittering glurges, then wangled a single- access website where they could dangle their new-fangled jingles for all the world to see? That would be glorious. And something we could all glom onto. Arthur Black Other Views Gladsome gleanings from the ‘gl’ glossary Ontario’s Progressive Conservatives have been conducting a supposed debate for four months on whether they should keep their leader who was defeated in the October election. But they must feel as uninformed and uncertain as when they started. The process has produced no proposals for new policies, strategies or ideas of any sort except the incumbent leader, John Tory, if retained, will never again suggest funding private, faith-based schools, which cost the party any chance of winning the October election. Nor has it put forward any possible alternative leader who could be measured against the existing one and the process is beginning to look a waste of time. The exercise the Conservatives are going through is not a full-fledged leadership race, but a debate on whether to vote for one at a meeting of delegates that starts Feb. 22. Polls by newspapers and claims by Tory and some of the MPPs who support him, are not totally reliable, suggest most of the party’s caucus and executive – its establishment, influential in selecting delegates and shaping their views – are backing him and the outcome is almost wrapped up. The process has consisted mainly of Tory saying he will change his ways on funding religious schools and listen more to others in the party. A brief attempt was made to introduce policy discussions by supporters of former premier Mike Harris, who feel it should return to the philosophies that won him two elections in the 1990s, but this quickly ran out of steam. A rapid succession of university political science professors, whom political reporters consult more often than they do their doctors, has pronounced Tory as deserving another chance. Some of the praise for Tory is understandable, because he is charming, mannerly, well-bred, relatively non-partisan, often too fair-minded for his own good, capable in questioning in the legislature, more effective than Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty in the TV debate between leaders in the election, when it mattered, and highly intelligent, but lacking in political cunning. The academics say they are impressed by the way Tory has taken the blame for the election loss. Although he still can be heard insisting the problem was the party did not clearly define itself, when it defined itself so clearly it convinced many residents not to vote for it. Tory also has complained some would blame him for the bad weather and remains extraordinarily reluctant to accept when he announced a program that cost his party an election, he deserves the blame. The profs also assure Tory will be ready to lead in the next election in 2011, but they do not risk losing their jobs, unlike the politicians who, if they choose the wrong leader, may lose their seats. Full leadership campaigns usually have two or more candidates proposing policies that get tested in the debate and help decide the direction a party takes and those making the choice know what they are voting for, but this debate has none of these. Some may argue the Conservatives already know what Tory’s policies are, but he had so few in the election different enough from McGuinty’s to catch voters’ attention that this was a handicap and will need to have more. The current process also is lacking because it not only fails to encourage possible alternative leaders from coming forward, but actively discourages them. It provides no formal place for those aspiring to be leader to announce their ambitions. The Conservative establishment, by grouping around the incumbent leader, has signaled it does not want an intruder showing aspirations to lead at this time and anyone who does so would be rocking the boat. The Conservative establishment could argue other contenders and their views will come out if the party has a full leadership contest. But if there is no leadership race, the Conservatives will have kept a leader with baggage without considering all their options – they will not know what they have missed. Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk PC’s leadership review failing So what are you planning for Valentine’s Day? Got your heart set on anything special from your sweetie? My view of Valentine’s Day has changed over the years. When first dating there was a profoundly obvious message in not receiving at least a card for Valentine’s Day. The problem was that often the message was only clear to me. Young guys just don’t seem to put the same importance on these types of things that their female counterparts are likely to. Newly married I got even more sappy about the occasion. While my practical hubby viewed the whole thing as a wonderful money maker for Hallmark, he is nothing if not sensible. And a sensible man knows that it’s a wise man who at least plays the romantic. So for several years Mark bought the flowers, chocolates and cards and lingered over candlelight dinners rather than his preferred pit stop refuelling approach to dining. I am sure it was with gratitude, therefore, that after a decade of indulging my sentimentality on Feb. 14, he greeted the news that I had begun to wonder what the point was. And as he did manage in little ways to make his feelings known often, I decided to let him off the hook for Valentine’s Day. So it was, that no one was more surprised than myself, when in recent years I had a change of heart. The occasion, after all, is a pretty harmless excuse to try just a little bit harder. Unlike the child who dated I’m not offended if the day slips by without notice. All grown up I’ve gotten used to disappointment. But should a little recognition of Cupid’s influence come my way I quite like it. It’s attention that I’ve come to appreciate more with age. Then again, matters of the heart do tend to take up more of my thoughts now. Since attaining middle age I find myself paying more attention to the heart in its literal rather than figurative sense. Valentine’s Day appropriately is smack dab in the middle of Heart Month. As a woman of a certain age that takes on considerable significance. Heart disease is the number one cause of death in Canada for women over the age of 55. Now I’m not there yet, but close enough to get a little edgy. There are several factors that put women at risk including menopause, high blood pressure, bad cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, a sedentary lifestyle, excess body weight and family history. While none of these have been an issue for me to this point, I’m only too well aware that that can change in, well, a heartbeat. Despite some indulgences, I have tried to make wise choices as often as possible. Yet, there are physical signs highlighting first the fact that I am not as young as I used to be, and with that in mind, that some things are out of my control. The exercise I did years ago to lose weight, now just has me holding on for dear life. Though I cut salt out of my diet decades ago I know that my blood pressure does not have the same modest readings it did in my youth. My eyesight is a pathetic version of yesterday with its strength seemingly fading at a rapid rate. My fingers are bending, my knees stiffening, my hips aching, my energy flagging. So it would only make sense that though my figurative heart still beats with all the passion of youth, the literal one may be lacking the same energy. The important thing for anyone is to be pro- active about prevention. Get regular check-ups and take an on-line risk assessment. Taking care of yourself is the perfect gift for you and your Valentine. Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”. – Robert F Kennedy Final Thought