HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2008-01-31, Page 11By Pastor John KuperusBlyth Christian ReformedChurchGod has given us a gift of a heart,the emotional seat of our being. God
designed our hearts to be open and
receiving, yet many times our hearts
are closed because of some past
experience.
The heart is one of the places love
comes from and God wants us to set
our hearts on him. The writer of the
Proverbs affirms this instruction
when he says, “Trust in the Lord
with all your heart, and lean not on
your own understanding” (Prov. 3:5)
and also “Above all else, guard your
heart, for it is the wellspring of life”
(Prov. 4:23).
Jesus speaks of the heart and says,
“Where your treasure is, there your
heart will be also” (Luke 12:34).
Jesus also expresses his
disappointment when he says,
“These people honour me with their
lips, but their hearts are far from me”
(Mt. 15:8).
The Bible sees the heart as the
source of conviction and courage. It
is the source of our faith, our hope
and of love. It is the emotional seat
of our being.
Our hearts also experience pain.
David writes about a friend
betraying him in Psalm 55 and he
comments about his heart in verse
four when he says, “My heart is in
anguish within me.” Another place
the psalmist speaks of his wounded
heart is in Psalm 109:22. “For I am
afflicted and needy and my heart is
wounded within me.” Wounded
hearts often cause us to put up a wall
to protect ourselves from future hurt.
I read this story in David
Augsburer’s book entitled The New
Freedom of Forgiveness. “Two
brothers grew up in a small South
African village. The older was tall,
handsome, intelligent, an excellent
athlete, a good student, and a natural
leader. Sent away to a private school,
he quickly made a name for himself.
As an admired campus leader,
brilliant student, and outstanding
athlete, he was in his final year when
his younger brother arrived to begin
studies.
The little brother was not good-
looking or athletic. He was a
hunchback. Since his childhood his
mother had sewn padded jackets that
concealed his spinal deformity. His
sensitivity to his short, curved
stature had grown through the years.
None of the family spoke of it out of
respect for his shamed feelings. Yet
the boy had one great gift. He had a
magnificent voice and could sing
gloriously, like a nightingale of the
veldt.
Soon after his arrival at the private
school, the students held initiation
ceremonials that included hazing—a
sort of trial by fire—a public
humiliation to extract proof of
courage. Often one student would besingled out to be especially houndedas a kind of scapegoat. On the eve ofthe initiation, the student body in acruel mob action ganged up on the
younger brother, carried him off to
the water tank, and demanded that
the acclaimed singer sing while they
jeered. His fear only focused the
purity of this tenor and the
frighteningly beautiful sound only
incited the crowd to be all the more
abusive. Finally, they tore off his
padded shirt to reveal his never-
before-seen hunchback.
The older brother, aware of what
was planned, watched silently from
the laboratory window. He could
have stepped through the playful
mob turned sadistic and with a word
put a stop to the whole tragic scene.
As a leader, he could have
acknowledged the strange boy as his
brother, but instead he busied
himself in his work in the laboratory
while the mob raged outside. By
refusing to go to him in love when he
was being abused, he betrayed his
brother.
The younger brother never sang
again. He survived physically, but
his spirit was crushed. He withdrew
into himself. At the end of the term
he returned to the family farm,
where he lived a lonely, reclusive
life.”
The heart of the younger brother
closed. One traumatic event put the
fire out in his life. We might tell him
to get over it. Or we may tell him to
forgive them. The point is that his
heart closed. How often does this not
happen to you and me? We offendone another and it causes a breakdown in relationships. In our culture,we are suffering from many brokenrelationships. We offend one another
and do not even realize it.
I remember when I was a teenager,
I wanted to hunt woodchucks. My
father told me that I had to finish the
chores before I could go. Then we
had to have dinner. Finally I went
and did not see any woodchucks. I
returned home disappointed. My
father laughed about my lack of
success. That cut like a knife. I felt
like he did not value my desires or
passions.
Gary Smalley in his book, The
Key to Your Child’s Heart, gives 84
different ways we can offend our
children. I will give you 10:
1. Lacking interest in things that
are special to me
2. Breaking promises –getting my
hopes up to do something as a
family and then not following
through
3. Criticizing unjustly
4. Lecturing me and not
understanding when all I need is
some support
5. Not spending time alone with me
6. Never telling me “I love you;”
never showing me physical
affection
7. Being too busy to care for me
and listen to me
8. Being disciplined in harshness
and anger
9. Insulting me in front of others
10. Comparing me with other kids
at school and telling me how
wonderful they are and that theywish I could be better.Do you ever mess up and do thesethings? I do. I find myself indesperate need of forgiveness from
God and my children and others.
How can we tell if a person’s spirit
is closed? Smalley says, a person
will avoid you and will not want to
be near you or will not want to talk
to you. When you are in the
company of the other person, they
may be argumentative and respond
negatively to anything you say or do.
When a child’s spirit closes, they
may seek friends you do not approve
of and may swear and use
disrespectful language. A closed
spirit is a major cause for the misuse
of drugs and alcohol, and a primary
reason why children become
sexually permissive. At the very
worst, a child whose spirit has been
completely closed may run away
from home or commit suicide.
How can a closed heart bereopened?First, we need to have a tenderheart to see we have offendedsomeone. Some people’s hearts are
like stone and they run right over
others without even realizing what
they are doing. If this is the case,
then we need to ask God to do
surgery. In Ezekiel 36:27-28 God
says, “I will give you a new heart
and put a new spirit in you; I will
remove from you your heart of stone
and give you a heart of flesh.”
Second, we need to take the time
to understand how we offended
another person. A person with a
tender heart is going to take the time
to move toward the offended person
and discover what the problem is.
That person is going to care and
communicate the other person is
important and valuable.
If we approach the other person
THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JANUARY 31, 2008. PAGE 11. From the Minister’s Study‘Heart, the emotional seat of our being’
Welcome to
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Continued on page 16