HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1967-04-06, Page 5From My Window
Honesty Can’t Be
The Best Policy
The saying used to go, “Oh,
what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to de
ceive.” Modern day version of
the same adage ts, “Oh, what
troubles we prepe.ive when first
we dare to be- honest.”
Ever notice how few of the
things we - accept today are
honest,. lOQ-p'ri*. cent, true blue?
Most .are imitation or artificial;
simulated or copied.- From the
orange juice we drink'sin the
. morning to the pearls we wear
for evening, most of the lux
uries and some of the necessi-,
.ties are just pretence of*, the
genuine thing.
You think I’m joshing. Con
sider these familiar falacies
and then tell me I’ve breasted
-April
Shirley Keller
T bottle .crips fpr brains,,
: ThQ mat onto, which X throw
my feet each morning looks
like wool carpeting, feels like
wool carpeting but is actually
a man-made concoction of ^syn
thetic yarns which sell for twice
the price they, should (but still
Ladies Plan
April Meetings
The Starlight Unit of Wesley-
Willis United Church will meet
in the church parior on -Mon
day, April 10 at 8:30 p.m. Roil
call will be an Historical event
from history. Mrs. Bob' Cook
will show slides'On Bermuda.
* *
The Fidelity Unit of Wesley-
Willis - United Church will
meet in the church parlor on
Tuesday, April 11 at 2:30 p.m.
j Roll call is “ybuir' favourite Bible verse”. Miss Bertha ihehl
is in charge of program.
The WO-HE-LO Unite of
Wesley-Willis United Church
will meet in the church parlor
on Thursday, April 13 at 2 p.m.
' The roll call is a Bible verse
mentioning a tree or flower.
Miss E. Jamieson is: in charge
of program.
The March-- meeting of the
Clinton Junior Farmers and
Junior Institute was held in the
form of a hayride at the home
of Barbara Watkins on the
Base Line, Ilullett Township,
The team of horses Sure had
a work-out that night as 40
members took part in the ride.
• After a lunch served by Mrs.
Watkins, the members
their joint meeting at
Clinton Town hall The
president, Jamieson Ribey
in the chair and conducted the
meeting. \
Delegates to the Guelph con
ference, Joanne Cook and Don
McNeill, gave a full report.
Plans were completed to have
a lunch booth at the Clinton
.Swine club and also to present
thei!r play at Distowel.
Plans were made to present
their play on April. 15 in the
Apbum Community Memorial
hall. s The Bruce County win
ning play from Walkerton whl
also be presented on the same
night and musical, numbers will
be by, the girls’ trio of Sharon
Strong, Christine Pryce and
Liz Smale of 'Seaforth. These
girls won high honors at Tor
onto for Huron County. A
dance is planned after the pro
gram.
held
tihp
new
was
SUGAR i
AND SPICE Il
by Bill Smiley
' ’ I
- Centennial Supper '
Lovely Event
AUBURN—Antique, dishes,
coql oil lamps waitresses
•in Centennial costumes made a
lovely setting for the Genterp
nial supper served last Wed
nesday evening m the Auburn
Community Memorial Hall by.
the Members • of St, Mark’s
Guild.
The supper was. ednvened by
Mrs. Thomas Haggitt .and’ many
residents of the community bte
joyed the smorgasbord supper
along with guests from Mitch
ell, Blyth, Goderich and Clin-
. Legion Ladies Aux* £
■y *« . ., *
The April meeting pf the./
Ladies Auxiliary th the Royal’
Canadian Legion will be hold.-,
op Monday, April 10 at 8‘X5-
JMri * •
WANTED
OLD MODEL CARS
‘ half the price of the real thing)»
■ My. stilk bathrobe isn’t; my na
tural curls aren’t; my full
• bosom wasn’t. I've softened.the
■ water I wash with, and poly
unsaturated the oil J cook with.
My cereal is artificially sweet-
. ened, my bread ’is mtifieially
■ whitened, my jam is artificially
colored, my coffee -is artificially
: creamed.
It'is getting so it isn’t much
fun to have the real thing, be
cause the pretend product is
more practical, less cumber
some, much prettier and' a heck
of a lot cheaper.
Mink is stall a status symbol,
but for a fraction of the cost
milady can look elegant,, in
manufactured Persian lamb. A.
girl’s best friend, diamonds will
always be, but when she hasn’t
the price, brilliant, rhinestones,
can fool the most discerning
lady and dazzle the most illu
sive male/ The mark of the
well dressed woman, miay be;
fine leather, but all that is
brown and bumpy is not alite
gator.
Plastic and paper are more
useful than lelecfriciity. I know
women y^ho claim they cohidrit
keep house, without plasticlbags,
melmac 'f dishes, paper towels
and a box of.tissues, Babies
must have been very wet and
soggy creatures before plastic
panties, and' children of all
ages must have been exasperate,
ing for mothers who’ hadn’t
disposable lunch, bags, handker
chiefs, diapers and plates.
Everybody is an artist thanks
to paint by number sets. The
Whole world could1 be blonde
and only the hairdressers would
know for' sure! With contact
•lenses, • elevated shoes, false
eye lashes, hairpieces, girdles,
screw-in teeth and paste-on
mole's, one can’t be sure What
it is until it is at home with 'the
wrappings off!
We can find much consola
tion in the fairy-tale .existence
we lead. There' is no reason
for anyone to be burdened with
work, weighed down by an in
feriority complex, lacking in
prestige, wanting for a bit of
loveliness' in living. Remedies
and solutions for all can be had
at the nearest dime store,
where it is possible to buy a
new face, a new -figure,- a new
outlook, a new start ... if you
■have the money, the’one com
modity for which there is no
satisfactory substitute.
-----------0-----------■
St. Andrew's Aux.
To Meet April 11
The/ April meeting of the
Madeleine Lane Auxiliary of
.St. Andrew’s Presbyterian
Ohurch will be held on Tues
day evening,. April 11 at the
home O'f Mrs. R. Gibb, , 15
Regina„ Rd., Adiastral Park.
Ladies, are asked' to meet at the
ohurch at 7:45 for transporta
tion.
r..........—— ■■■■'■■
Retiring NCOs Honoured At Mess Pinner v
Six Senior NCOs who are retiring from the RCAF were^ honoured at a
mesg dinner jn th$ Sergeants Mess last Friday night Retirement gifts, were
, presented to the retiring members by G/C K. R, Greenaway, the Base Com
mander. Shown, left to right, back row, the retiring members are Fit. Sgt.
Brownell (Centralia), Sergeant Schou (Centralia), Fit, Sgt. M.\L. Soper, Fit.
Sgt. R. Q. McKinnon, Sergeant F. C, Pyke , and Warrant Officer Clifford G.
Parker; front row, Warrant Officer N. H. Lacroix, president of 'mess committee;
Sqn. Ldr. C. J, Malone, Detachment Commander Centralia; G/C Greenaway
and Warrant Officer Jack C. Reid, honorary president of mess committee.
• ■ (CFB Clinton Photo)
Huron F. of A *
To Meer Wednesday
Directors, committeemen and
ladies of the Huron ‘.County
Federation of Agriculture will
meet Wednesday, April 12 in
the Agricultural Board' rooms,
Clinton, at 2 pm-
for
Centennial Parade
Hensall Spring Fair :
Coptacf Elgin Thompson
262-5041
qr P. Lj. McNaughton
262-2118
Hensall South-Huron
Agricultural Society Parade
' on Jqrie 20 dt 5r30 p.m, .
14-15b"
HOLMESVILLE 4
Holiday visitors with Mr, and
Mrs. E. Potter were Mr. and
Mrs. Kenneth Ashton and Don
ald of London and Mr.
Mrs. Kenneth Potter, of
towel.
Mr. and Mrs. Jim Angus
family, Stratford, visited with
Mr. and Mrs. J. Angus over
the weekend.
Jim McCullough of Dresden
spent the weekend with hri
parents, Mr. and Mrs. Frank
McCullough.
Mrs. Stock and Gordon spent
•and
Liiis-
and
hield
f
Wesley-Willis UCW
To See Cancer Film
At General Meeting
The general meeting of all
Wesley-Willis United Church
Women Units will be held in
the*Church Parlor on Wednes
day, April 12 at 8 p.m. Cancer
films will be shown and a can
cer talk by Mrs. D. Bartliff,
service to patients chairman.
Lunch will 'be served. K
j______MRS LLOYD BOND ,
Phone 482-3210
Easter with Mr. and Mi's. Earl
Williams, Goderich.
4-H Chib
The Centennial Susies,
their third meeting -at Gode
rich Township Hall, Saturday,
March 25. The discussions were
on ‘‘wild foods found in our
community” and ‘‘The British
Tradition”.
Leaders Mrs. Eldon Yieo and
Mrs. Frank Yeo demonstrated
the making of Welsh rarebit
and English Jrifle.
■ The next meeting will be held
April 8 in the hall.
SOON!
1867
AND ALL THAT!
14-5b
F. H. Johnston
Dies
At Huronview
Funeral service for Frederick
Harold Johnston, Huronview,
formerly of Loncteboro, was
held -Monday, April 3 at the
Ball Funeral Home with Rev.
Robert J. Tschanz, Londesbo.ro.
Interment was in Londesboro
Cemetery.
Born December 1, 1876, Mr.
Johnston died suddenly oh
Friday, March 31 at Huronview
in his 91st year. ’He Was mar
ried to the late Sarah HUI and
was the father of one son.
Harold L., London, 'add one
daughter, Mrs. H. (Helen)
Wase, London, who. survive.
The deceased had worked as
a painter during this lifetime
and was 'a member of Londes-'
boro United Church and of
Hullett 568 Masonic Lodge.
'Brother masons Joseph Shad
dick, Gordon Radford, William
Leiper, Jack Lee, William Weills
and Raymond Snell Were pall
bearers.
i
The Bayfield Hockey Club Bingo
Friday. April 7
TOWN HALL/BAYFIELD
SHARE-THE-WEALTH DOOR PRIZE
Proceeds;, for Bayfield Hockey Club
Admission 25c
I
It's Spring Clean-up Time
zFor Information, phone the local .
CN Panenaw Salo* Office LORNE BROWN MOTORS IIMITEOra^‘8Sr’OT%«.
Be Aura to sal Bonanza on thl CBC-TV network each Bunday. Chock your tocal liatino for channel and time.
----------I ....................................... . ,, ................................... .. -....i ■„ ....—J,——............. ............
Unification: Part 3
Remember? It’s .1987 and
we have Uniforce, alias the
Canadian Cobras,- 100,000
- strong, pure -bone and gristle,
master-minded . by jut-jawed
Joe Garibaldi, Minister of
National Defence^
The Yanks are all upset be
cause he is dickering with the
Chinese,, a couple of waiters
from the Nanking restaurant,
It’s'• obviously a second Cuba
in the making.
Joe gets a call from the
White House. He states hii's
- terms, and hangs up. He
knows his man. LSD, presi
dent of the U.S. of A„' is a
tough cooltie. He came, up
through (the unions, like Joe,
but owes his- position to the
huge wealth of his wife,
Mary Warner, of the hideous
ly rich Boston Warners.
Twenty minutes later, Joe’s
phone rings. It’s LSD himseilif.
“Now, look, Joe. We don’t
want Trouble. We paid eight
million for Alaska and I
think five milllion for the
Louisiana Purchase thing.
Yeah, yeah, we know there’s
inflation. How about a
straight eight billion, after
taxes? You want ten? Don’t
be ridiculous. We won’t go
a nickel past nine. After all
we own most of the country
anyway. A deal? Right. Take
over.”
It wasn’t quite that simple,
of course, Joe had' to call a
meeting of the War Council.
■ This - group . had supplanted
the Cabinet, which was rele
gated to such tasks as study
ing the Immediate Housing
Bill, introduced in 1968, and
' the Old Age Unemployment
Act, prepared' to. 1969.
But it didn’t take long. Joe
had hand-picked his senior
officers. Marshall - Admiral
, Louis Latour had wanted to
■ be King Loulils the Hirst of
New Canada the Second.
After Joe had explained how
' awkward this would be, Louis
settled for the liquor con
cession at all martyrs’ shrines
in the country.
The others went along.
Colonel-Commodore Nils Jor
genson of Winnipeg balked a
little at getting no more
'than the remaining mineral
rights of the Prairie Provinc-
. es, but finally acceded, grum
bling. The rest accepted what
they got: The fishing rights
in Hudson Bay, ’ the RoCky
Mountains, “Or Whatever.
It was beautifully planned,
perfectly timed. At noon on
Jtdy 1st, bur national holiday,
the Cobras struck, Flying
squads took over all com
munications media, without a
drop of blbbd bring shed.
Nearly everybody was
pooped after' the long hot
holiday, so that only a few
heard Marshall-Admiral La-
topr announce, on the 11p.m.
news, that Uniforce had un-
' earthed and promptly squash
ed a Communist plot to take
over the country.
Next day the full story
came out in all media 'and
the Honorable Joe was 'laud
ed for the speed and decision
with which he had handled1
the emergency.
'There wasn’t an iota of re
sistance. Parliament was on
holidays. The Prime Minister
was ill and in seclusion. The '
universities were closed, so
there were no students’ pro
tests. The Mounties -and
militia had long since been
disbanded as needless ex- :
pense.
Everything was perfectly
calm. Business as usual. Most
Canadians were starting their
holidays.
A few noticed that there
were a' lot of new radio /and
TV announcers and news
paper columnists, but they
figured the new guys were
just vacation replacements.
Then the good news started
earning. Corporation, income
and sales thxes were all to be
reduced. Farm subsidies were
to be raised. Food prices were
to be lowered. Free housing
for everybody making less
than $5,000.
I guess I don’t have to tell
you the rest. Popular move
ment demanding a republic
and “Joe for President.” Joe’s
sincere statement that he had
no ambition ' except to serve
the Canadian people, through
the-democratic process. Big
convention.. Only stipulation
for delegates was that they
be- members of Uniforce, Joe
elected unanimously. You had
to ’hand it to him. From
President of the Destruction
Workers’ Union to President
of the great Republic of Can
ada in a feW short years.
* That's all. Oh, a few people
disappeared quietly here and
there, but that.was1 because
of the new Relocation Act.
’ With our Laundry Service we can do your
Bedspreads, Blankets, Curtains and Linens.
MEN'S SHIRTS A SPECIALTY
Phone 482-9491
HURON LAUNDRY
154 BEECH STREET — CLINTON, ONT.
FREE PICK-UP AND DELIVERY
OPEN NOW
PATTI'S
BEAUTY
SALON
(2 miles north of Varna) .
Open Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday
from 9:00 to 6:00 p.m.
Open Saturday Mornings from 9 to 12
\ Open Evenings by Appointment Only
Phone .482-7230,' Pat Taylor, proprietor
AIN TO
TORONTO
Ask a bout convenient departure
and return times
CANADIAN NATIONAL
AUTHORIZED DEALER
I hl CLINTON}