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Clinton News-Record, 1973-01-18, Page 4The green years, Here're some laughs to help your 1973 A member of the Canadian Weekly Newspaper Association, Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association and the Audit Bureau of Circulation (ABC) tetond clast mail registration ntirtiber 08'17 'SUBSCRIPTION RATES: (ia advante) Canana, $8.00 per year; U.S.A., $9,50 JAMES E. FITZGERALO—Editor J. HOWARD AITKEN -- General Manager Published every Thursday at the heart of Huron County' Clinton, Ontario Population 3,475 THE HOME OP RADAR IN CANADA 4—CLINTON NHWS,RECORD, THURSDAY, JANUARY 1$, 1973 Editorial comment Newspapers are a business Every newspaper - particularly weekly newspapers because they are closer to the readers and are more concerned with the personal and community im- plications of The service they render - is faced from time to time with a cry about an item omitted, a picture delayed or a story shortened. The answer is easy, It's a matter of dollars and cents. No matter how much a paper may wish to serve its community it may only do so to the extent that it is possible to continue as an economically sound enterprise. It must be assured of sufficient revenue to meet production costs and a return on the investment as the St. Mary's Journal Argus points out in a recent issue. Weekly newspapers are not immune to the effects of fluctuating economies. Canada's weeklies are businesses that must operate under the same rules as any other free enterprise venture. One of the questions we are most frequently asked is: "Why does your paper vary in size from week to week?" The question arises particularly when we have to leave news reports or pic- tures out for a week or more because we do not have enough space. To begin with, we should explain that this problem of size is not peculiar to our paper. Every newspaper faces the same problem and for the same reason - ad- vertising. The money secured from the sale of subscriptions is a relatively small part of a newspaper's revenue, To an extent newspapers are private businesses. They have a commodity to sell - advertising - but they also have a service to perform, That service is providing the community it serves with news of its own affairs, accurate up-to- date reports of what is taking place in the community. The subscription fee pays for the service. The advertising space provides the columns of type, the newsprint, the press time and the staff which conveys the service. The problem for newspapers becomes acute when there is a week with a lot Of news and pictures which cry out to be published and very little advertising. On such weeks we run what we call an open paper, but we must be mindful of the fact that a series of open papers can put us out of business. There is nothing we would like better than to be able to publish papers three or four times as big as we do each week and if we could get enough advertising to do this- you can be sure we would maintain an even larger percentage of news and current topical pictures than we do now. So if anyone asks you why we oc- casionally leave a story out, the answer probably is that it has been a poor week for advertising and we had to cut down the size of the paper. After all if we can- not continue to publish, we cannot print any news at all. Flats off to the postmen While the staff at this newspaper works hard each week to get the newspaper out on time, there is one group of individuals in Goderich which contributes to the publication's on-time delivery each week and rarely receives any recognition for the part each mem- ber plays in the service. That, of course, is the team of post- men who each Thursday morning deliver The Goderich Signal-Star to the doors of subscribers in the municipality. They are a great group of guys and this week it is a well-earned tip-of-the-hat to them. During the Christmas season when each and every member of this staff was filled with pride as the papers grew to more than 40 pages each week, there was little thought for the patient posties who bore the extra burden without audible complaint .and still got the papers out on time, In retrospect, the postmen are to be commended for their extra effort during November and December of 1972. They surely were in- valuable to the Signal-Star directly and to the merchants of Goderich indirectly. Throughout the coming year as the men of the postal department bring you your community newspaper each week, please remember to greet them now and again with a smile, 'a cheery word and an expression of your gratitude. Join with the administration and staff of the Signal-Star to give the postmen of Goderich a hearty vote of thanks for their faithfulness year in and year out, issue in and issue out. It was rather a gloomy end to 1972, with the deaths of scrappy Harry Truman and that fine Canadian, Mike Pear- son, and the eternal shootings among the mad Irish, and the earthquake in Nicaragua. So let's get off on the right foot for the next twelve months with something a little lighter. Some columnists are smart enough to keep a file of funny or unusual things that hap- pened during the previous year, so that they have a ready-made column just after New Year, The only funny or unusual thing around our place is my filing system, I just took a look at it, eighteen inches high all over my desk, picked up my typewriter and moved to the dining-room table. There's nobody here but us crumbs. Whereby I decided to pass along some things that I con- sider amusing, with the hope that you will too. They're not original, and are culled from the centuries, Here's Stephen Leacock describing an encounter with a pirate ship: "The two ships were brought side by side, They were then lashed tightly together with hag string and binder twine, and a gangplank laid between them. In a moment the pirates swarmed upon our deck, rolling their eyes, gnashing their teeth and filing their nails." And as he relates the ensuing carnage: "I noticed one gigantic fellow brandishing a knotted towel, and striking right and left among our fellows, until Captain Bilge rushed at him and struck him flat across the mouth with a banana skin." That's the humour of in- congruity. Here's an example of the humour of heartlessness, of which a master was Harry Graham, Try writing some of your own. The ice upon our pond's so thin That poor Mamma has fallen in We cannot reach her from the shore Until the surface freezes more. Ah me, my heart grows weary waiting-- Besides, I want to have some skating, Another of his was: In the drinking-well Which the plumber built her Aunt Eliza fell; We must buy a filter. Here's a touch of the ironic. And I'd like to ask my friend Dr. Hackstetter to please note. "The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of their blood." How about a couple from Ogden Nash, that great humorist in verse. This one's entitled Song Of The Open' Road: I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. That's typically American in theme and content, but here's a little couplet of his that is sym- bolic and universal. If you hear the scream of a pan- ther Don't anther. I can't resist one more Ogden Nash, and if you haven't read him, buy a copy. This is called Reflections On Ice-Breaking Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker. Then, of course, there's the epigram, a very'brief witty ob- servation. Its master was Oscar Wilde, who came to a bad end, in more ways than one. But our sample will be from Hillaire Belloc, ,Entitled On His Books. When I am dead, I hope it may be said: • His sins were scarlet, but his books were read. Isn't that a nice example of the pun, as well as saying in two lines something about the monstrous pride of the writer? Here's another by Belloc. It's called, simply, Epitaph On My Wife: Here lies my wife. Here lies she, Hallelujah! Ha Ilelujee! Then there is the limerick. Some of the funniest (and foulest) verses in the language are found in this form. But this is simply clever, or cleverly simple. The bottle of perfume that Willie sent Was highly displeasing to Millicent; Her thanks were so cold They quarreled, I'm told Through that silly scent Willie sent Millicent, The fine art of satire has fallen into lethargy these days, except perhaps among political cartoonists, where it is often merely cruel, rather than witty. But the Roman satirist, Mar- tial, wrote a verse that is just as modern as it was 2,000 years ago. The golden hair Pabulla wears Is hers. Who can deny it? She swears 'tis hers, and true she swears For I did see her buy it, Many Canadians tend to take life very seriously, I hope these samples, ninety per cent of which were taken from school texts, will help dispel! that preoccupation, So. Whether your troubles are kids, or parents, or old people, or unrequited love, remember, you have only one life. And this is it. Enjoy. Forty years ago today, wearing a new $22 suit with a belt in the back and nervously whistling "Forty-second Street," the song hit of the day, I went to work in the newspaper business. It was a hard decision to make. The summer before I had been cherry-picking in Oregon, clearing a cool eight dollars a week and eating close to $80 worth of cherries per hour. As copy boy on the newspaper I would be getting three dollars a week and would be required to run a brisk shut- tle service between the editorial room and the composing room. Even as a boy T was sen- sitive about physical activity. In cherry-picking you had to move a 14-foot ladder from tree to tree, but once you were atop it, up in the cool, private, world of leaves and fat, black cherries you could sit and dream and eat, Still, I was convinced that I was destiny's tot as far as the newspaper business was concer- ned. I had made a brief, but spectacular career on the high school paper as a crusader for several tremendously impor- tant issues, none of which I now have the faintest recollec- tion, and I spent many happy hours thinking of myself as a newspaperman. 10 YEARS AGO THURS., JAN 17, 1963 Clinton Kinsmen are issuing a challenge to all other service clubs. They offer to have a higher percentage of their mem- bers giving blood at next Tuesday's blood donor clinic, than any other Clinton service club. Any takers? Due to an attack of, laryngitis, Walter Forbes, reeve of Goderich Township, had to rely primarily on his popularity and past record in his bid for the warden's chair of Huron county, but it proved to be enough. The traditional white gloves indicating an absence of criminal cases on the docket, were presented to Mr. Justice Samuel Hughes in Goderich at the opening of the Ontario Supreme Court spring assizes. County Sherrif Harry Sturdy, Goderich, made the presen- tation. 15 YEARS AGO THURS, JAN 16, 1958 This winter seems to be trying to be as friendly to us all as possible. One thing we rather hate about the snowy weather, and that is when it is necessary for the streets gang to pile huge mounds of dirty snow upon the Library Park, So far this year this has not happened, and the whole area looks Much neater. The local campaign for money for the Muscular , In these mental fancies I was no longer a timid boy with a bad complexion, but a man with a snap-brim hat on the back of his head, a face both sardonic and full of wisdom, almost always standing in the midst of carnage, pencil coolly poised over notebook. never got around to wearing the snap-brim hat or any other and for at least 10 years as a reporter I seem to have spent my time listening to ward ratepayers discuss sewage problems. There is an awful lot of non- sense ,written about the newspaper business, frequently by, newspapermen. It is said.to be,,a glamorous racket, full of 401, • ';haffi-biailed.`;', .1i5.e0 Ple wito come face-to-face every day with real life. Each year there is a whole new incubator hatch of fresh- faced university students, presumably innocent and soft- boiled, who come prepared to strike a fierce blow at the heart of journalism, convinced that this is indeed the life,. Many of these fall by the wayside after a year of disillusionment. That first year is the year when you cover poultrymen conventions, type out the weather forecast, sit in the rear of drafty, halls listening by the slow hour to Dystrophy Fund resulted in a collection of $201.80, collected both in the regulation boxes set up throughout business places and in donations made direct to the fund. In Clinton, the Fire Brigade had charge of the campaign, with Kenneth C. Cooke cam- paign manager. This is the first year that the campaign has been sponsored here. 25 YEARS AGO THURS., JAN 15, 1948 Jeanne Garon and Fred Gib- son were the winners of the $3 cash prize last Friday night at 'Teen Town. After winning the spot dance, they then had to answer a musical question correctly before receiving the prize. This Friday the prize is back to one dollar, The elimination dance was cap- tured by Doreen Elliott and Bill Ashton. Recorded atten- danee for the night was 75, This Friday night, the special feature is the sleigh ride com- mencing sharp at eight o'clock; all members are requested to be there on time for a change. A week this Friday is the night for the big'toboggan party to the gullet'. The party will begin at 7:15 weather permit- ting. 40 YEARS AGO THURS., JAN 10, 1933 Charlie Koo has been run- ning the Rido Cafe for over a year left without bidding his friends goodbye. He sent the key of his cafe- to lawyer Frank Fingland telling him to sell the men talk about insurance rates or the coming of Armageddon or Robbie Burns, chronicle the new list of officers of baggage men's associations, eat mile af- ter mile of rubbery service club luncheons, write bright two- paragraph items, about giant cucumbers and start wondering if you might not have been bet- ter off in the advertising business. You'd think that anybody with half a brain (or enough to be accepted into the business) would have the sense to run away and hide from such a life, But in that year you make the remarkably pleaiant discovery that the men and women in the newspaper business are' the afinestIleople in the'wotidi I suppose that is really why I decided to stay. I liked being around the relaxed and broad- minded people this profession seems to attract. It did not take me long to discover that newspapermen are the least cynical or "hard-boiled" of any calling. There is, in fact, a deep and healthy sentiment in most newspapermen and, more than that, an interest in others that you rarely find elsewhere. Like my father before me, I discovered that an editorial room was a retreat from the jealousies and money-conscious ambitions that breed in so contents and pay as far as funds would go. A transient in Mitchell was in trouble for stealing soap. Some of the recent transients in Clinton, from what we've heard, have been in no danger of that sort of trouble. 55 YEARS AGO THURS., JAN 17, 1918 Charles Allenson 'says he never saw prettier ice than that which he has cut from the river this season. The worst storm in many winters struck Ontario Friday night, and the blizzard showed little abatement until Monday morning. The Buffalo train stalled at St. Columban on Saturday morning and 25 passengers were hospitably en- tertained by the parish priest until Stiaday. many other businesses. That is an atmosphere I've never stop- ped enjoying. Never will, I guess. The business is a rewarding one in comradeship and even permits a certain transient sense of accomplishment, but you could never recommend it for anyone who wants to set the world on fire. Newspapermen die young and broke, Their work lives on after them only as long as newspapers: last in lining bureau drawers. Todays's great story is tomorrow's wrapping for the orange peels. There is, too, a cockeyed idea that it is a young man's business. ewn.,tirne I've seen the wisdom and the ex- perience of too many fine old newsmen take second place to the enthusiasm and energy of newcomers. If I ever own my own newspaper the staff will be composed largely of mellowed old-timers. I did not feel that way 40 years ago today. I went into that newspaper office that day as if I were carrying a lance and a shield, eyes lifted in the clear gaze of the crusader and scared to death. In that moment I could have turned back, but I went on in and I've never regretted it. mail came into Clinton from any direction from Saturday morning until Wednesday night. 75 YEARS AGO THURS., JAN 14, 1898 The re-opening of the Blyth Catholic Church will take place next Sunday, when Bishop O'Connor will bless the altar at the morning service, and in the evening he will deliver a lec- ture, which will be worth hearing. A grand rally of the denomination from the surrounding localities is expec- ted for that day. The class under the management of the choral society is reaching great dimen- sions. The class will open next Saturday night at 7:30, and if it is a fine night all are expected to attend. We had the banner class last year and intend this year to eclipse all others, Dear Editor; Prime Minister Trudeau recently referred to his "priest". This brings to my mind the fact that only a short time ago while reading my Bible, I found this statement (question) 1 Cor. 11;14: "Does not nature itself teach you that for a man to wear his hair long is degrading?" (Catholic Confraternity Tran- slation) I wonder why the priest has not brought this to the atten- tion of our prime minister? John H. Reuger, 18 Walker St, clinton Dear Editor: Dear God, I have so much to thank you for. Most especially I'd like to thank you for the children; golden haired girls and rough and tumble boys, filling the barren streets with their laughter and bliss at their release from the enemy "school." Filling the minds of their parents with horror as they realize that they will be plagued with scraped knees and tear-strewn faces for the remainder of the summer. Peaceful mealtimes are now disrupted by the tales of a squashed frog laying on the road. Immediately from around the corner, when the youngest member of the family is resting, they burst noisily into the house with their group of rowdy friends for refreshments made for them by their fatigued mothers. Many a dozing father is awakened by a troup of friends and his endeared son protesting at the lack of facilities, and pleading for a ride to the distant beach. But what would we do without our innocence in the present world of strife and conflicts? God, you could remove other plagues such as mosquitoes and noisy neighbours; hut never take our children. you,ng Bayfielci Teenager Dear Editor: Yes, here we go again! But why compassion for the agony suffered by our wildlife from traps should be considered "trying to deceive the public for reasons unknown and force trappers to do the impossible" is beyond my comprehension. "C.A.H.T." Canadian Association for humane trap- ping is a volunteer organization aimed at finding a trap which is more humane and to abolish the leg-hold trap which inflicts such appalling suffering on the small creatures of the wild. Many countries have declared the leg-hold trap illegal. Among these are the United Kingdom, Austria, Greece, Denmark, Sweden, Finland and West Germany, Pressure should be brought to bear on our own Government which receives large revenues from the trapping industry. C.A.H.T. endorses the double spring Conibear trap as the best existing humane trap especially for muskrat and beaver, To save and alleviate the suffering of even a few is surely worthwhile. Through C.A.H.T. a plan has been initiated for an exchange program where a trapper who does not own a conibear trap can turn in a leg-hold one and receive a free conibear one. So far, thousands of com- passionate trappers across Canada have taken advantage of this. C.A.A.T. has paid out $35,000 for this project alone. There are also funds to help concerned trapper inventors to help develop traps on the in- stant kill principle. Countless numbers of birds and animals of no commercial Please turn to Page G. GODERICH SIGNAL-STAR. As a result of the storm no THE CUNTON NEW ERA Amalgamated THE HURON NEWS-RECORts Established 1865 1924 EtteIslished 1881 Clinton News-Record