HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2009-12-03, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2009. PAGE 5.
Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
T he thing about going on television
is…you’ve got to come off as cool,
right? Nobody wants to flip on their
TV and see some awkward, flustered,
stammering goofball who looks like he just
fell off the back of a rutabaga truck.
So when my publisher’s PR representative
called to tell me she’d arranged an appearance
on Toronto’s number one morning TV show, I
handled it smoothly.
“I’m hep to that jive,” I assured her.
I showed up bright and early and got ushered
onto the set – a huge open room with a ceiling
full of klieg lights, a couple of TV monitors, a
predatory-looking camera on wheels and a
crew of half a dozen, all of whom were
younger than me.
By a factor of about three decades. They
talked knowledgeably about phenomena
called Jay Zee and Rihanna. They used the
word ‘dude’ a lot.
Be cool, I told myself.
I was approached by a kid wearing
headphones and carrying a clipboard in one
hand and my latest book in the other. “You’ve
been on with us before, right?”
“Yo, dude,” I assured him.
“Who interviewed you last time? Was it
Dina? Or Kevin? Or Manjit?”
I utter my first stammer. Fortunately the guy
is a multi-tasker. He doesn’t wait for my reply
but introduces me to a woman named Gina
who is about 25 but looks very, as the kids say,
simpatico. She’s wearing glasses and a floppy
cap and a ponytail.
Cool! None of your plasticized, big-hair TV
Glitzeratti here.
“I know it wasn’t you that interviewed me,”
I say to her cleverly. “I would have
remembered you.”
Gina and Clipboard Boy look at me oddly.
Turns out Gina is the camera person.
“Why don’t you get yourself a cup of
coffee,” suggests Clipboard Boy, shepherding
me away from the set, a smidgen of concern in
his voice. “It’s a single-cup espresso machine
but the coffee is excellent. Just follow the
instructions”.
The instructions are in Italian. I punch a
couple of buttons without much hope. Hissing
and spitting ensues. Hot water begins to splash
onto to the floor. One of the crew glides over,
shuts off the water, inserts a coffee bag and –
oh, yes – a cup.
“You looked like you could use some help,”
he murmurs.
Be cool, I remind myself. What I need to do
is demonstrate by my body language that I am
in fact, very relaxed and in-sync, TV-wise.
What would George Clooney do, I ask myself.
Between me and the actual interview table is
another table with a hot plate in the middle.
This table is festooned with sticks of fancy
bread, bunches of grapes, a couple of
pineapples and various bottles of cooking
stuff.
It’s for the cooking segment, in which a
couple of chefs from a five-star hotel whip up
some gourmet goodies on camera. The chef
segment comes after me, so casually – sexily,
even – I lean against the table to sip my
espresso the way I imagine George would do
it.
The table is on rollers.
The chefs go ballistic of course – they’re
artistes – but the pineapples that bounced
across the set don’t actually get in the shot, so
viewers at home are none the wiser.
And it turns out the table caster didn’t even
break the skin on Gina’s ankle so, no real
damage done, even though she put on this
bogus woe-is-me limp.
The coffee stains on my pants? No problem
– they’d just shoot me from the waist up. I
wasn’t sure we could trust Gina with that as
she’d be working the camera but I was in no
position to object.
By now the entire crew was following me
with their eyes and a big guy I hadn’t noticed
before with SECURITY on his shoulder
flashes seemed to be hovering wherever I
went.
Clipboard Boy was treating me with that
exaggerated wariness bartenders reserve for
surly drunks and customers who look like they
might be carrying a knife.
The makeup woman approached me like
Indiana Jones entering the tigers’ cage. She
made a couple of half-hearted feints at my
nose with her makeup brush then backed
away.
I said “What about my head? I’m bald!”
“Wear your hat,” she advised.
What with the last minute instructions about
not talking to the camera, not fiddling with my
hands and not hitting the microphone attached
to my lapel, I don’t remember much about the
interview itself, except that it seemed to be
over almost as soon as it started.
Truth to tell, Gina distracted me with her
scowl and fake limp.
“That was fun, dude,” I enthused to
Clipboard Boy.
I tried to high-five him but Security Guy
misread the gesture and went into a kind of
Kung Fu stance. Clipboard Boy waved him off
and walked me to the door.
“We have to do this for my next book, bro,”
I said.
Clipboard Boy said they’d be in touch.
Arthur
Black
Other Views You’re on TV – be cool!
Progressive Conservative leader Tim
Hudak has tried a risky manoeuvre in
the legislature – some would call it a
stunt – but it appears to have paid off.
The opposition leader led his MPPs in
walking out to protest against Liberal Premier
Dalton McGuinty’s refusal to have a
legislature committee hold public hearings
across the province into his plan to harmonize
the provincial and federal sales taxes.
This would extend tax to many purchases
currently exempt. His government has called it
Ontario’s most comprehensive tax reform in
more than 40 years and governments
traditionally provide public hearings on lesser
issues affecting fewer people.
The premier has sent his revenue minister,
John Wilkinson, touring and stressing his case
the harmonized sales tax will save the Ontario
government and business $600 million a year
between them and the extra tax on other
residents will be offset, in the immediate
future at least, by grants and tax cuts.
The minister has spoken to about 40
meetings, but many of these were of business
groups who, apart from being receptive,
charged fees for admission, and others were
organized by Liberal riding associations that
asked for donations to their party.
This is a far cry from inviting the average
taxpayer itching to express dissent.
The Conservatives have been able to remind
McGuinty in opposition that said public
hearings on planned laws are a basic
democratic right.
Hudak led his MPPs in walking across the
legislature to the premier and each handing
him a written copy of his support for the
sanctity of public hearings. They stayed out
until the end of question period, the most
important part of the day for opposition
parties, when they can pillory ministers and
squeeze in views of their own.
Entire parties have absented themselves
from the legislature before and most wound up
castigated by rival parties and news media on
the ground that, while their complaints may
have been justified, they failed in their
responsibility to be in the legislature taking
government to task.
McGuinty took something of this tack,
saying he could not understand why the
Conservatives left the legislature, where they
have the opportunity to question government.
But he overlooked they had asked repeatedly
for hearings and his government responded on
other aspects of the tax no one was asking it
about.
The Conservatives under Hudak, a new
leader, have made opposition to the HST their
prime issue for weeks and are anxious to
continue focusing on the topic and keep its
momentum.
Hudak still is little known to the public and
needs to emphasize he is active on the issue
and the Conservatives want to be thought of as
ahead of the New Democrats, who also attack
the tax daily.
Suggesting a legislature committee hold
hearings also is fairly dry stuff that normally
would not stir passions among the public.
But the walkout by Hudak’s Conservatives
and their justifications of it were seized
avidly by news media, because they made
good TV and stunts by parties have been rare
recently.
The media generally pictured Hudak and his
Conservatives as leading the fight against the
feared new tax and willing to take an extra,
drastic step to oppose it, which is the
message the Conservatives hoped for.
Although one newspaper traditionally
supportive of the Liberals called the Tory
leader petulant.
Some other political stunts in recent times
have not been as well received. They included
three ministers at a Tim Hortons restaurant
announcing low-priced snacks will be exempt
from the HST, but trying more to prove they
are average joes, with comments on “double-
doubles” and being unable to start their day
without their coffee at Tims, which made the
event trivial.
There also was the time McGuinty walked
into a hospital to talk about the wonderful
things he is doing to improve healthcare and
tried to shake the hand of a patient, who
refused on the grounds the premier would not
fund drugs that would save his life.
Hudak has avoided such mishaps.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
She walked into the room and everything
changed. What had been a normal work
space, dull and routine was sunnier
somehow. With her came a positive energy that
had less to do with having lived a life of
physical challenge, than it did with her gifts.
Teaghan Coultes was born 10 years ago with
Turner Syndrome. It is a genetic condition that
presents physical and social challenges for the
girls and women who have it. In Teaghan’s
case it has affected her heart, her growth and
her hearing.
I had the chance to visit with this special
young girl the other day, special not because of
her condition, but because of who she is.
If there are such things as auras, and I
personally believe there are, the one
surrounding this girl was vibrant and beautiful.
Teaghan is one of those rare people who
lights a room just by entering. She carries with
her an enthusiasm that quite literally raised my
spirits and I felt a smile warm my face. Within
a heartbeat of meeting her, any noticeable signs
of her condition were overshadowed by her
sunny disposition and disarmingly sweet
nature.
The vibe continued as we chatted, during
which I was further captivated by this
youngster’s grace and joie de vivre. Her
surprisingly mature articulation was balanced
by the usual childlike enthusiasm.
My point in seeing Teaghan was not because
of her condition. That was mentioned only
because it played a part in the story to follow.
And when it was I was struck by her
unsentimental attitude towards the physical
issues, listening while she nonchalantly tossed
off information about her health as if her
condition was no more troublesome than a
falling tress of her lustrously-wavy hair.
It was when Teaghan talked about the bear
she cuddled and how it came to her that the
casual tone evaporated. And then, as if she
hadn’t won me over enough with her
personality, came the end of the story, her
decision to pay it forward.
A couple of weeks ago Teaghan purchased
nine bears for children in hospital. Some of the
money she raised had been given to her as
birthday gifts.
When I thought of someone this young first
recognizing she had the ability to make a
difference to someone’s life, and second being
willing to use money intended as a gift for her
to achieve it, it humbled me.
A friend, as I shared this experience with her,
raised the question of what makes a person like
Teaghan. There is goodness in most, but is it
nature or nurture that puts some above the rest?
Some might wonder if Teaghan’s unique life
has been a factor. Perhaps in part it is because
of the challenges TS imposes on her that
Teaghan has become the person she is. But
perhaps not.
I recall something the mother of two girls
said to me not long ago. Her daughters are both
lovely girls, inside and out. She had, I
commented to her, obviously done a wonderful
job raising them.
She agreed that her girls were indeed close to
perfect, then dispelling any dismay on my part
at her lack of humility, added with a smile, “I
don’t think I had a thing to do with it. I think
they came that way.”
Some people maybe are just born to shine, to
make others feel better just by being around
them. Teaghan Coultes certainly did that for
me the other day.
Tories’ walkout stunt succeeds
She shines
Flowers grow out of dark moments.
– Corita Kent
Final Thought