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The Citizen, 2009-10-08, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2009. PAGE 5. Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt It seemed like such a great idea. Inspirational, really. Landscape gardener Raoul Surcoul, and physiotherapist Richard Spink, both dedicated environmental activists, had spent four years laboriously preparing a very special polar expedition that would feature solar panels and a cutting-edge wind turbine. Purpose: to achieve the first carbon-neutral crossing of the Greenland icecap in the history of the planet. Last April they set sail – pardon me – they carbon-neutrally chugged – out of Bristol harbour, England in a welter of whirring TV cameras and media microphones. Twenty-five thousand British schoolchildren eagerly monitored their progress on line. Two days out of Bristol their boat foundered. Raoul’s and Richard’s dream went to the bottom of the sea; happily, their sorry butts were saved by a passing ship. If nothing else, the abortive expedition kept one staunch human tradition alive. Whatever other challenges we face, we humans know that in the field of Environmental Screw-ups we as a species have no equal. Back in the late 1800s a New York philanthropist had an inspiration: wouldn’t it be glorious if all the wondrous creatures mentioned in the works of Shakespeare could find a new home in North America? Brilliant! He would start with…let me see….Yes! That beautiful iridescent bird of the English countryside – the starling. In 1890 the philanthropist arranged for 100 European starlings to be released in Central Park. Today the starling population of this continent has grown to more than 250 million. The bird’s become the bane of other bird species and of North American agriculture, not to mention North American windshields and park benches. We never learn. Years ago, some Aussie thought it would be fair dinkum to have rabbits Down Under, so he imported a few pairs. Australia got rabbits alright. When I was a kid in Toronto, Canada geese were as rare as Stanley Cup parades. Forty years on, many parks in Hogtown are all but unwalkable, thanks to goose poop. Downtown traffic regularly grinds to a halt on Lakeshore Boulevard to allow waddling caravans of geese and their gosling broods to cross the road. The only force likely to knock the Canada goose off its perch is its avian cousin, the cormorant. The snake-necked bird also used to be a rarity in the Great Lakes but no more. Cormorants have taken over – and pretty much destroyed – many swatches of the Great Lakes tapestry, including Middle Island in Point Pelee National Park, Lake Erie. Cormorants crap a lot. Nearly half the island’s trees have been killed by a blanket of cormorant guano. The very chemistry of the soil has been changed. Can the island be saved? Park superintendent Marian Stranak has her doubts. She told a Globe and Mail reporter, “This is a dying island with a dying population of plants and animals.” Want to guess which species bears responsibility for the cormorant explosion? Decades ago, freighters and tankers from Europe introduced a whole new foodstock for the cormorant when they accidentally released scads of imported alewife fish from their ballast tanks into the Great Lakes. American fish farmers completed the smorgasbord by introducing farmed catfish in the cormorant’s wintering habitat. Ironically, we often do worse by trying to Do Good. Remember when the Everglades alligator faced extinction a few years back? U.S. lawmakers sprang to the fore, banning hunting of the creature and the sale or even possession of alligator hides. The ‘gators have rebounded nicely and are now picking off an average of a dozen humans a year. Remember when South Africa declared a moratorium on ivory merchandising back in the mid-90s? The elephant population of Kruger National Park has now doubled and they’re running out of food. Looks like the park elephants will soon face a grim choice: starve or be culled. ‘Culled’ is a weasel word for ‘shot’. And let’s not forget our own plains bison. Human rapaciousness almost wiped out that magnificent beast a century and a half ago. Hadn’t been any in the Grasslands National Park area of Saskatchewan since the late 1800s (about the time Central Park was last starling- free). Recently, 130 bison were reintroduced to the park and they’re doing splendidly. So splendidly that parks officials are already worried. “The area can only support so many animals,” a parks spokesman says. “If there are more…they will graze the grass down to the dirt (until) there is actually nothing growing.” Trouble is, we’ve pretty much run out of suitable habitat to relocate the bison… Robbie Burns said it well – the best laid plans of men, and all that. Remember that intrepid duo of environmentalists who sank their boat trying to become the first humans to complete a carbon-neutral crossing of the Pole? Guess what saved their bacon when they were bobbing, shipwrecked in the north Atlantic. An oil tanker. Carrying 680,000 barrels of crude. Arthur Black Other Views It ain’t easy being green Dalton McGuinty keeps churning out more laws to protect residents than any previous premier, but some do not do their job well and others raise the question why he took so long. The latest very much in this category is a ban on motorists using hand-held cell phones while driving, except to call 911 in an emergency. The Liberal premier says that will come into effect Oct. 26. The premier’s road to this has been painfully slow, almost total gridlock. The Liberals began mulling over the idea of banning motorists using cell phones in the mid-1990s. This was when cell phones became omnipresent and a nuisance on streets and in stores, restaurants, buses and trains, and a danger in cars, because they distract drivers from focusing on roads. Some Liberals had kind words for a Progressive Conservative backbencher, John O’Toole, in the late 1990s, when he introduced a private member’s bill to ban cell phones while driving. O’Toole could not persuade his party, then in government, to support him, because Conservatives particularly have tended to see a man’s car as his castle. Examples include a Conservative government being reluctant to force vehicle occupants to buckle seat belts until it was reduced to a minority in the 1970s and a later Conservative premier, Mike Harris, scrapping photo radar, in which police checked drivers’ speeds from unmarked cars, which a New Democrat government had brought in to reduce speeding and accidents. The Liberals under McGuinty have been in government for six years and say they have been delayed by wanting to fine-tune their legislation. But this law has had more experts looking under the hood than a new model Rolls Royce. Research has shown drivers using handheld cell phones are four times more likely to be in a crash than drivers who focus totally on the road. Police, road safety organizations and the insurance industry have long supported a ban on using phones while driving. But politicians generally are reluctant to get between residents and their cars and McGuinty is increasingly wary of introducing legislation that encourages the Conservatives to accuse him of creating a “nanny state.” In the debate on the cell phones law, one Tory, Peter Shurman, complained it put the province on the slippery slope to nanny-statism and another, Ted Chudleigh, charged that the Liberals want to ban residents from doing everything Liberals disapprove. A far-right Toronto newspaper also labelled the premier Gauleiter McGuinty. This may be a reason McGuinty is hesitating to bring in other laws to protect residents whose desirability has been well proven. One would require adult cyclists, not just those under 18, to wear helmets. MPPs of all parties have approved private members’ bills and motions requiring cyclists of all ages to wear helmets three times in recent years. The New Democrats in government approved such a law in the early 1990s and even set a starting date, but Conservatives who defeated them changed it to apply only to under-18s. John Milloy, now a Liberal minister, when a back bencher obtained support for a private member’s bill requiring all cyclists to wear helmets, after MPPs of all parties told poignant stories of adult relatives and friends killed or injured because they were not wearing helmets. Several municipalities also have called on the province to require adult cyclists to wear helmets, but none of this has prompted McGuinty to act. After a 13-year-old boy was killed when he fell and hit his head on a tree while skiing, McGuinty said he quickly bought a ski helmet and started wearing it. The premier urged all skiers to wear helmets, but his government has made no move to make them compulsory. The Canadian Cancer Society, Health Canada and Liberal and New Democrat MPPs have called tanning beds many use to give them a healthy looking glow an extreme danger and urged restrictions, but McGuinty has not acted. This is a premier keen to protect people, but increasingly concerned about protecting himself. Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk ‘The weather’s fine, wish you were here.’ To the idealist this familiar phrase conveys a sweet sentiment — that of paradise being lessened by your absence. Cynics know better. Yeah, right, they think, the absence of any mere mortal is going to ruin someone else's simple and carefree sojourn. To them the comment is instead a picture-perfect postcard rubbed in their nose. Oh, perhaps not intentionally, but it’s a good, solid rub nonetheless. Last Saturday, a family member and her spouse headed out on their annual pilgrimage south. In preparation for a long and miserable winter they store up some extra hours of summery sunshine with a month-long stay at a condo in Florida. They are good family, understanding the need to keep us informed of what they’re doing and where they are. So it was no surprise when I received an e-mail telling me they had arrived safely in South Carolina the first day of the motor trip. It was the second one, however, that inspired a wry smile from me and took my thoughts in an unexpected direction. They had now arrived at their destination uneventfully. Good to know. Temperatures, they continued to say, were in the 80s. For brother-in-law the fish were biting like crazy and Sis was busy spending her time reading in the sun. Ummm... also good to know. Couldn’t be happier for them. Especially as I looked out my window to another dreary grey day, felt the chill in each brisk swish of a falling leaf and each brittle splash of rain. Not that for one minute did I ever suspect their intention to be anything other than sincere. It was an update, nothing more, nothing less, for people who are and should be interested in how things are going with them. Had a ‘wish you were here’ been added, it would have without a doubt been heartfelt as they have asked us to visit time and again. Unlike times in the past when Mom forced my presence upon them, I know they actually kind of like baby sister tagging along now. So the e-mail was viewed with proper sentiment. They were having a good time, enjoying this blessing that was in no way diminished without me, but would be increased in pleasure should I be able to join them. With that thought, and as a glance out the window revealed it was still raining enough to blight the healthiest of minds, I knew it was going to have to be enough for me, however, to soak up the rays vicariously through their updates. I know that my happiness for them, that they can now enjoy the rewards for decades of 9-5, truly does far surpass any remote possibility of envy. But then one of life’s little twists sardonically corkscrewed it way into my musings. Isn’t it ironic, I pondered, that the weary workers soldier on, often in desperate need of a break, while folks on permanent vacation can actually take one. Retirement provides an opportunity to get away from it all when there’s nothing to really get away from anymore. It’s just another of those imbalances that follows us from here before to nevermore, just as all of the energy, all of the risks are there for us when we are too young to know what to do with them, or as we work when our children are small and stop when our house is empty. I admit, I’m kind of looking forward to the next of these though when the only difference between real life and a vacation is venue. The phones ban took forever Wish you were here