Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2009-02-19, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2009. PAGE 5. Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt Reap what he sows J ust remember that you’re standing on a planet that’s evolving And revolving at 900 miles an hour… Ah, Monty Python and crew, God bless ‘em. Never encountered a gang of comics who made me laugh longer or harder than those loopy Brits. The Dead Parrot Sketch. The Lumberjack Song. The Department of Silly Walks. Hell’s Grannies. And of course, The Galaxy Song. That’s orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it’s reckoned Round the sun which is the source of all our power Canada’s pioneering funnyman, Stephen Leacock, defined humour as “the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life”. Leacock would have loved the Pythons. They deal in incongruities too. Incongruities like the fact that you and me and this newspaper and this country and this continent and this planet we call home, We’re moving at a million miles a day In an outer spiral arm at 40,000 miles an hour Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way. The whole ‘incongruity’ that the Galaxy Song addresses is the cosmic insignificance of self-important bipeds like thee and moi. But hold on! According to the latest scientific data, we’re not quite as insignificant as we thought. And that applies to the Milky Way as well. It bulges in the middle 16,000 light-years thick But out by us it’s just 3,000 light-years wide Poppycock. Monty Python had it all wrong. According to data recently analyzed, our Milky Way is actually about one and a half times bigger than we thought it was. Mark Reid, a researcher at the Harvard- Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics dumbed it down for me: “It’s the equivalent of a 5-foot- 5, 140-pound astrophysicist suddenly bulking up to the size of a 6-foot-three, 210-pound NFL linebacker.” But before you let our new-found gi- normousness go to your head, think about our planet. Pretty hefty place. Twenty-five thousand miles around the belly. Near 200 million square miles in area… Yeah, well. If our sun was a beach ball? The earth would be a chick pea. So, okay. Earth is a runt but our sun is an all- star heavyweight, right? Not right. Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars… The Pythons had that right – but ‘hundred billion’is one of those phrases that trips off the tongue meaninglessly – as U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson has so ably demonstrated of late. How big is a hundred billion? Put it this way. Imagine not the earth but our sun as a chick pea. Find yourself a bucket. Drop in the solar chick pea…Now add 999,999 similar chick peas. Better make it a real big bucket. That’s how many other ‘suns’ there are in the Milky Way. Okay, so our planet’s dinky, our sun is a dime-a-dozen cosmic bauble, but at least our Milky Way is a galactic heavy-hitter, right? Don’t see a galaxy like The Milky Way kicking around every day. Wrong again. We may not see them, but they’re out there. Hundreds. Of thousands. Of millions of them. The experts reckon (and it’s little better than an educated guess) that there may be as many as 125 billion galaxies in the universe. They think there may be more galaxies in the universe than there are stars in our Milky Way. Or as Monty Python put it in song: …our galaxy is only one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe. So let’s call a time-out to reconnoitre here. We live on a corner of one continent of one planet of one galaxy that contains a hundred billion other stars – some with orbiting planets, some without. Our galaxy swims in a void that contains at least a hundred billion galaxies more or less like ours. Still think it matters which deodorant you use? I think the United Nations sent the right message when Voyager I was launched in 1977. The space capsule contained a message that read: “We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship, to teach if we are called upon, to be taught if we are fortunate.” On second thought, Monty Python’s Galaxy Song probably said it better: Pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space ‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on planet earth. Arthur Black Other Views In search of intelligent life T his recession, that is changing so much, is developing its own language. Even news media, which are rarely at a loss for words, are running out of ways to describe it. They started by mundanely reporting employers are reducing, cutting, eliminating, laying off, chopping, even slashing jobs and employees losing them or becoming unemployed or jobless. The repetition got monotonous, so they moved quickly to talk of companies retrenching, handing out pink slips, shedding, downsizing, streamlining, trimming, slimming and cutting fat. None has suggested a company is doing a Jenny Craig or calling in Weight Watchers, but these cannot be far off. Employees now are being axed, which sounds brutal, or less gruesomely “let go,” as if they had hammered on the factory gates to be let out and their employers reluctantly opened them, which usually is far from the case, but sounds more palatable. A car manufacturer was said to be “taking production down a notch” at a plant in Alliston, which sounds minor and well under control, but it cut its work force in half until demand increases. When the once trendy clothing manufacturer, Cotton Ginny Inc., had to close some stores, a newspaper said it was “frayed” by the recession, an apt metaphor this writer would like to have thought of, and a mining company in Sudbury planned to “shutter” a mine. Companies that fire workers often come up with explanations that avoid discussing the reasons and are as suspect as claiming “my grandmother had a baby yesterday and I couldn’t come to work.” A carpet manufacturing company that will close its plant in Belleville explained this was “part of a global restructuring effort that will strengthen our long-term viability,” which means it hopes to carry on elsewhere and brings no cheer to the 90 local employees who lost jobs. An employer that provides auto windshields and sunroofs explained closing a plant in Cambridge will enable it “to align its remaining plants capacity to meet demand,” which is another way of saying goodbye Cambridge. An auto parts supplier in Niagara Falls said it was “liquidating its assets in an effort to develop a viable North American strategy.” An aluminum producer said its major cuts in production and jobs are “part of a broad-based plan to reduce costs.” The telephone service provider, Telus Corp., laid off 100 workers and said this “will help move resources out of declining areas of our business to those which help us ensure our ongoing success.” The high-tech equipment maker and former stock market darling, Nortel Networks Corp., which has been declining for years, will cut still more staff and explained this will slow the rate it uses up its cash reserves. But it was revealed to have been spending $1 million a month leasing corporate jets until recently, despite the many criticisms of business executives’ high flying. It postponed its annual meeting at which shareholders might have asked awkward questions about this and other issues. Employers often make little effort to soften blows. An exception was a mining company in Sudbury that at least said it recognized its firings “will affect our employees, their families, our unions and other key stakeholders and our first priority is to ensure displaced employees are treated fairly and with respect.” Some media companies have not looked compassionate, notwithstanding their demanding this from others. A free daily newspaper read mainly on public transit and owned by The Toronto Star, which publishes an editorial a week praising small business as the backbone of the economy, fired its paid writing staff and replaced them with unpaid interns, but described this as merely “a small adjustment.” The Rogers Communications TV-radio- magazines-cable conglomerate sacked an undisclosed number of employees three weeks before Christmas, and the same day the entrepreneur who assembled it, Ted Rogers, died. The tributes, from Prime Minister Stephen Harper down, praised him as “one of the greatest Canadians” and not much thought was spared for those who lost jobs. Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk The door closes shutting out the dreary grey, the damp bite of the bitter winter day. Yet, even as the home’s warmth wraps itself around me, there is a lingering chill permeating heart and soul. A shiver moves through my core, trying to shake off the final vestiges of iciness. Then as I move further into the enveloping comfort, my eye is caught by something so verdant, so lushly earthy, that the frigidity which had seemed encapsulated in every pore, bone and fibre immediately dissipates. In the corner, against a wall is a plant. And what a plant it is. Its vibrant foliage rises strong and straight from the urn, its promising buds are abundant. This, I muse, is veritably summer in a pot. And it is my son’s pride and joy. This particular project, a pepper, joins an indoor grow operation consisting of a variety of herbs to which strawberries and other vegetables will soon be added. It would seem that the boy has a bit of a green thumb. Every seed he has put to earth has resulted in healthy, vibrant plants. There are no wilting leaves, no spindly stems. Their aesthetics turn one’s mind literally to goodness and nature. And this is where son and I differ. I can grow things. I take great delight in my gardening successes. But unlike his, mine are not assured. I fret and worry, I feed and nurture. Yet sometimes despite my best efforts, I fail. Even when I don’t, results are minimal. I never achieve in a bright, sunny garden the profusion of vegetation my son has managed indoors in the winter, seemingly with ease. That’s a gift. My grandmothers had it. So does my mother-in-law. Which got me wondering about heredity and nature over nurture. My son never knew his great-grandmothers. He never really paid any attention to the gardens at his grandmother’s house either. He has seen me with hands in dirt, taking great delight over a bud on a new plant, or moving things around to try and get that right look. But as I can’t imagine that being any inspiration to him, I think I’ll rule out nurture as the driving force behind his knack for horticulture. No, I think there is a green thumb gene and I, sadly for me, am just a carrier. Heredity is interesting in the way we may not always know from whom a trait has come. I do not look at the face of a family member and see my own. I do not see a physique or hair colour that matches mine. While my older siblings liked to explain those differences by telling me I was found on a doorstep, I have come as a grownup to suspect a more common sense notion. I believe that rather than looking like one person, I am an amalgam of many, going back generations. There are similarities I do pick out that I find quite fascinating though, because they are a bit more puzzling. For instance, there is the way I rest my arms and fold my hands when carrying on a conversation during dinner, exactly I’ve noticed, the same way my sister does. Likewise, there is that tone of tolerance I adopt during certain kinds of discussions, the same one my brother has. Nature or nurture? Who knows. One thing I do know is that I as a mother, nurtured someone who seems to have an affinity with Mother Nature. So guess who I’m getting to start my plants for me now? I may not have the gift, but I’d say I’m close enough to one who does to reap what he sows. New talk developing in slump People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates. – Thomas Szasz Final Thought