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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2010-09-23, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2010. PAGE 5. For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, press three. – Alice Kahn Ihave a simple relationship with my telephone: I talk to it; it talks to me. Not conversationally, you understand. More like ships passing in the night, or two drunks raving in a bar. Here, for instance, is a transcript of the conversation that ensued when I asked my Telephone Person about my old messages: TELEPHONE PERSON: “PLEASE ENTER YOUR PASSWORD, FOLLOWED BY THE ‘POUND’ SIGN.” ME:PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH …POUND T.P.:“YOU HAVE NO NEW MESSAGES AND FIVE OLD MESSAGES. TO LISTEN TO YOUR OLD MESSAGES, PRESS SIX.” ME:PUNCH T.P.:“YOU ARE REVIEWING OLD MESSAGES.” (I knew that). “TO LISTEN TO YOUR OLD MESSAGES, PRESS ONE”. ME:PUNCH! T.P.:“PLAYING OLD MESSAGES.” Now does that seem unnecessarily dopey and circuitous or am I just being crotchety? I remember, coot that I am, when to retrieve messages I just dialled ‘0’ and said ‘Hi, Alice…any messages?” “Yes,” she would say, “a bill collector and your mother- in-law. I told them you were in a meeting.” I miss Alice. I miss all the receptionists, secretaries, operators, stenos, temps and other human beings who have been vaporized and replaced by the Telephone Person who pretends to be human but is really just a recording and wouldn’t know my mother-in-law from Lady Gaga. Or me from you, come to that. I liked it better before the ethereal robots from Planet Call Waiting took over. Take elevators. Used to be, if I found myself in a high rise lobby with a wish to go to the 12th floor, I would get in the elevator and press 12. After a decent interval the door would slide open and hey, presto! I would be on the 12th floor, just as I’d planned. Not anymore. Now an elevator trip is an excursion – complete with an electronic cheerleader. The elevator beeps at every floor as I ascend and a disembodied voice that sounds like Darth Vader with sinusitis does the math for me. BEEP! “SEG –GUND FLOOR……” BEEP! “THIRD FLOOR…” There is no real need for me to know the precise moment I am passing floors two through eleven because (A) I memorized that arithmetic sequence back in Kindergarten and (b) I’m not stopping at any of those floors – and hopefully, the elevator isn’t either. If I’m wrong about that, I’ll know right away because, err…the elevator will stop and the light will obligingly blink the floor number that interfered with my plans. Too much information can be problematic. But don’t take my word for it; ask Search and Rescue – the folks who pluck feckless campers and trekkers out of the Back Country when they get into trouble. The advent of cell phones and portable GPS gadgets has spawned a whole new set of ‘emergency’ situations for S&R teams to deal with. A Rocky Mountain Park spokesman told a New York Times reporter “We have seen people who have solely relied on GPS technology but were not using common sense or maps or compasses.” Like the hikers who called from a mountaintop in Jackson Hole, Wyoming requesting a guide “and some hot chocolate, please”. Or the emergency distress call from a group of hikers in the Grand Canyon last fall that resulted in a helicopter being sent out. The hikers explained to the helicopter crew that the water in their canteens “tasted salty”. Needless to say the people who risk their skins to bail out the hapless, the helpless and the hopeless are not amused when they find a gaggle of nitwit nimrods equipped with little more than a cell phone or a GPS unit. Search and Rescue sorties are not only risky, they’re expensive. A typical helicopter pick up can cost $3,000. So if you really want to test yourself against the wilderness with little more than your iPhone or your Garmin in your back pocket, go ahead. But there is one other piece of equipment you should pack. Your cheque book. Arthur Black Other Views Too much information Last week had been one of those weeks that you hope to forget. Work was bearing down and deadlines were drawing near and it all seemed like it wasn’t going to come together. Because this has been a year of transition at The Citizen, some times have been busier than the staff would wish to admit and one thing that had been delayed was the awarding of the Citizens of the Year. As busy week after even busier week went by, we hadn’t realized how much time had passed until we received a call at the office asking who the Citizen of the Year for Brussels and area was so he/she could be featured in the Brussels Fall Fair parade. It was then that we realized that we didn’t have one yet and we ran the possibility of not having the Citizen of the Year in the parade, which has become a time- honoured tradition. I did my best to spring into action, preparing nomination packages and contacting the past six Citizens of the Year to get their input on who this year’s winner should be. With a mountain of work and deadline pressure mounting, I drove around Brussels, hand-delivering nomination packages to past Citizens of the Year. I interrupted people having dinner, people mowing the lawn and people just simply enjoying their evening at home. And I was greeted just as I expected to be, warmly and kindly. I was invited into many homes for a chat and although I wasn’t able to stay (as I had more deliveries to make) the gesture was not lost on me. It had been a pretty rough day that had been extended through my supper hour, and I’m a man who likes his food, so needless to say, when the drive to Brussels started, I may not have been in the rosiest of moods. However, talking to members of the community really gave me a lift when I needed it most. It reminded me of a plaque that hung in my bedroom for the longest time. My grandmother gave it to me and she had the same one hanging in her house as well. I’m sure everyone is familiar with Footprints, the poem about the man who had a dream that he and God were walking down the beach together. As the walk progressed, scenes from the man’s life flashed before him and through some of his most difficult times, he noticed just one set of footprints and he felt abandoned. It was during those times, however, the man learned, that God had carried him. On one of my rougher nights, still on the clock and with an empty stomach, I went and saw some of the community’s most respected citizens and I found them inspirational and kind and on a personal level, I found them to be reassuring and gratifying. I heard more than a few kind words about The Citizen and what its coverage means to the community, I found out that at least a few more people, other than my mom, read what I have to say in this box week after week and lastly, I realized how important the Citizen of the Year awards are to the communities in which they are given. In corresponding with past Citizens of the Year from both the Blyth and Brussels areas in my first year of nominations for this award, I have received nothing but helping hands and I’ve realized that the common thread throughout every winner of this award is kindness and a willingness to help out. And I’m sure this year’s winners will have no problems in any of those departments. Footprints Adebate has started on how to get more people to run for the Ontario legislature and it could be more valuable in the long term than the many calculations of whether Dalton McGuinty can win another election in 2011. That election will be over in a year, but the legislature goes on forever. The debate started out of the blue, with an appeal from Jim Foulds, who was a New Democrat MPP in the 1980s respected enough to run against Bob Rae for leader, but with no chance because Rae was stamped as a boy wonder, a brilliant speaker for his federal party and future saviour of its provincial left. Foulds is an example of MPPs from all parties who retain their love and respect for the legislature and occasionally voice their belief it can do a better job. Foulds is particularly concerned right- wingers such as Mike Harris have popularized the message taxes are bad and the market is king, and this is frightening off those who believe public funds can be used for the public good. Foulds asks others to suggest ways the legislature can be more attractive to those considering seeking election to it. Many must have seen and been deterred by the restrictive rules under which it operates. The best known is the part of the daily session that gives MPPs an opportunity to ask the premier and ministers questions. But it is well accepted government can answer any way it wants, so a questioner can ask if it plans to close a specific hospital and the minister can keep replying the government will provide that information when it is ready until she is blue in the face and the Speaker of the legislature has to remind he has no authority to require a more specific reply. It is less known the legislature still reserves a question period specifically for government MPPs to ask questions. These always are innocuous and merely provide an opportunity for the government to put in an extra plug for its own programs. As specific examples, a Liberal MPP from a crime-ridden area suggested the government has been tough on fighting crime and and asked for an update and the solicitor general praised the questioner as an ardent advocate of fighting crime and reeled off as many policies as he could cram in. A Liberal rural MPP asked what the government was doing to promote festivals in her area and the tourism minister called her a wonderful champion for her community and read a list of coming events. The Liberals did not have single question that put the government in any difficulty and the opposition parties had to wait, unable to raise questions that legitimately worried the public. The practice of allowing the governing party self-serving questions instead of questions that concern people should be be ended. Climbing the ladder of government, once elected, may take more effort than one’s used to. One help is to get elected in a large population area such as Toronto, Ottawa, Hamilton, London, Windsor or Kitchener- Waterloo. Governments like to show they have cabinet ministers representing these voter- packed areas, which also complain loudly if they feel they do not have their share of representatives in cabinet. MPPs representing less populated areas find it harder to get noticed, but being from a visible minority can help. A politician dare not say this, but premiers have promoted to cabinet several from such backgrounds who showed less than average ability, but once they were in, they were in. Provincial leaders no longer are quite the celebrities they used to be. McGuinty once sat in a Tim Horton’s for nearly an hour and no one went over to see him. Ontario’s leaders have chosen to project images as warm and cuddly rather than powerful, but there still is much all levels in the legislature can do to improve Ontario and they can work only if people are in there. Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk Shawn Loughlin SShhaawwnn’’ss SSeennssee Legislature needs makeover Character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs. – Joan Didion Final Thought Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise.