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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2010-02-04, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2010. PAGE 5. Bonnie Gropp TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt F eature this: a 30-something Canadian nondescript male toting a backpack lines up to go through security at Vancouver airport. His boarding pass indicates he’s heading for Toronto. He plops his backpack on the conveyor belt as instructed, walks through the scanner and prepares to retrieve his bag on the other side. But his backpack isn’t coming through. Instead the guy at the controls is staring bug- eyed, waving his colleagues over to look at the X-ray image on the screen. In no time an Airport Security team, flanked by a couple of Mounties shows up and escorts the nondescript would-be passenger to The Little Room. They have one question for the guy. Why is there a loaded, .38-calibre Smith and Wesson revolver and extra rounds of ammunition in his backpack? I have a larger question for him: what the hell was he thinking? Is it possible that in this Post 911, would-be shoe bomber and underachieving underpants detonator era, someone still exists who’s dumb enough to think he could carry a loaded handgun in his carry-on luggage on to an airplane? A police .38 Smith and Wesson is as long as a shoe and weighs a couple of pounds – you’re not going to ‘overlook’it while you’re packing and it’s difficult to mistake it for a toothbrush. And those vigilant minions at airport security are positively percolating with paranoia these days. They’re confiscating everything from nose-hair tweezers to bobby pins. Last month airport security goons in Ottawa made headlines by forcing an 85-year old silver-haired grandmother – four foot-10, 90 pounds soaking wet, suffering from osteoporosis and answering to ‘Cynthia’ – to take off her shoes, unzip her pants and submit to a belly prod from an ‘inspection officer’. Terrorist? No. Terrorized? Definitely. In Minneapolis, a bomb-sniffing dog found a piece of luggage he didn’t like. False alarm. Nevertheless, part of the terminal was evacuated. In Portland, a Maui-bound flight returned to earth after an overly-liquefied passenger turned surly and obnoxious. The airport in Bakersfield, California was shut down after authorities discovered a ‘suspicious substance’ in a jar in someone’s carry-on luggage. It was buckwheat honey. And this guy tries to board with a .38 calibre revolver in his backpack? If it’s any consolation, he’s not the only idiot attempting to fly the not-so-friendly skies these days. Mansur Mohammad Assad, a passenger on a Northwest Airways jet bound for Ohio, happened to casually mention that he wanted “to kill all the Jews”. That entitled Assad and his 230 fellow passengers to a mid-air U turn and a quick descent back to Miami airport, escorted by two F-15 fighter jets. Then there was the 42-year-old German dummkopf who was flying with his wife and kids out of Stuttgart last month, heading for a vacation in Egypt. Why not, he apparently thought, have a bit of sport with airport security personnel? “I have explosives in my underwear,” he wittily informed the fraulein wafting the wand. After they called off the Alsatian attack dogs, let him up off the floor, strip-searched and interrogated him for several hours and thoroughly examined his non-incendiary gotchies, the German airport authorities informed the jokester that not only would he and his family not be flying to Egypt (or anywhere else), they also would not be refunded the cost of their cancelled tickets and would in fact, be assessed a thousand- dollar fine plus costs for the entire police operation. Those airport security people – no sense of humour. The courts aren’t a barrel of laughs these days either. That doofus who tried to fly from Vancouver to Toronto with a pistol in his backpack? He’s doing 39 months in the slammer. There are two lessons to be learned from these current in-flight follies. Number one: If you really have to travel somewhere consider a cab, a bus, a train – hell, duct-tape a bedsheet to your skateboard if you have to – anything but submit to the horrors of commercial air travel these days. Number two: if you absolutely must fly somewhere and you spot your old high school buddy Jack Wilson ahead of you in the airport security line-up… Wave at him. Whistle, if you like. Semaphore if you know how. Sing your high school anthem if you must. Just don’t yell out “Hi, Jack!” Arthur Black Other Views Just be careful greeting Jack The weekend has arrived and with it at least a bit of free time to do all the carefree, hedonistic activities that exemplify a full and interesting social life. The pacing and prancing of my full- bladdered pooch wakes me on a Saturday morning. A glance at the clock shows it to be an acceptable hour rather than the one heralded by the shrill scream of the weekday alarm. Before me stretches a day that promises nothing but entertainment at its best. My honey’s away and this bee is buzzing with anticipation. With no worries about fun ways to fill leisure times being sympatico with another’s, I had planned a wild and crazy time for myself. The first rule was that it was going to start right away — no laundry, no dusting, no baking, no way. Instead, breakfast finished I grabbed a coffee and headed to my favourite chair in my favourite room and spent the next several hours lost in literature. And I could have spent forever there. However, not wanting to risk any suggestion that I might be a dull person, I knew it was essential that I put something a little more exciting into the day. A trip to the mall was clearly in order. Arriving home late afternoon after a satisfying round of shopping, I was just in time for a private wine and cheese party accompanied by a little soft jazz. Had it been summer I would have slipped out onto the deck for this madcap fun, but settled instead for settling back into that favourite chair. There with eyes closed I savoured the sensual smoothness of some brie, a lovely pinot gris and the inimitable Nat King Cole. The sun left, my warrior returned and the insanity continued as we both went out to supper and to listen to some music. Driving home before the clock turned the midnight hour I chuckled as I thought how this day would have seemed to some. There are those who wouldn’t ever consider sitting still in any way entertaining. From rising to retiring they fill each and every hour with nothing less than go, go, go. Otherwise how could it possibly have been any fun? I beg to differ. Some might suggest that I’ve gotten old, or that I’m obviously just a boring person. I however, strongly argue otherwise. Let’s be honest. No matter what the age, a life of go, go, go generally catches up to you. And it isn’t just exhausting. It also doesn’t guarantee you are any less boring. Trust me, my friends, I can still party with the best of them if I choose. But there has always been a part of me, the person who has never forgotten how nice it is to walk barefoot in the grass, or stop the world long enough to watch a Lake Huron sunset, or listen to the drone, rustle and chirrup of a hazy summer day. Even my rambunctious teens weren’t all about partying. I remember times when it was enough, despite all the pent-up energy, to sit in a secluded spot by the river, nature’s music the background to easy chatter. My friends and I would lie back and watch the clouds, pluck a daisy, wiggle our toes in the water. I remember long hours spent crosslegged on my bed with book or journal. Or lying on a blanket in the backyard, transistor dialed to 1050 CHUM, by my ear, feeling the golden rays of sunshine on my skin. And even as a teen, with all its twisted emotions and immaturity, knew that all of these moments enriched me. Critics soothe consciences with praise Enriched life If all those who have lavished praise on John Tory since he stopped running for public office had expressed similar admiration when he was running, the former Ontario Progressive Conservative leader and candidate for Toronto mayor would have had one of the longest elected careers in the province’s history. To say this is not to lament that Tory failed to get the praise he deserved when it mattered. It is to merely point out many who assess politics, including news media, vilify people when they run, sometimes to promote their own interests, but expect to be taken at face value when they sing their praises, after their careers are over and they no longer threaten themselves and those they support. Media in this city particularly have almost elevated Tory to sainthood since he effectively ended his hopes for an elected career in politics by announcing he will not run again for mayor. He is 55, there will be no place for him in his provincial party soon and he dropped so many hints he would run for mayor he would not be believable if he said it again. Now that Tory has retired, The Toronto Star, Canada’s biggest paper, has given its that verdict he is intelligent, experienced, balanced and competent and those who tagged him a loser were unfair. The Star could claim it praised Tory, when he ran for leader in 2004 and called him the Conservatives’ best choice. But this is a paper that almost invariably supports the Liberals in elections and whose primary aim in life is not helping an opposing party choose a leader who will beat them. The Toronto Maple Leafs would have more credibility suggesting who should coach the Montreal Canadiens. By the 2007 election, the Star was calling Tory’s policies unreal and shoddy and good reason for voters to keep Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty, which they did. The paper later suggested Tory may be “the best premier Ontario never had,” but this was after he lost the election. The Star said more recently Tory failed provincially because he inherited a dying party, bound by unwanted policies, and his departure was a loss for the legislature, but where was this friend when he needed it? The Globe and Mail, which mostly has been Conservative, said after Tory left respect for him remained intact and he had been a worthy champion of sensitive, conservative politics and in many ways ideal leader, because he entered political life out of concern for the public. But, when Tory was leader, it said he failed to differentiate his party from the Liberals and misunderstood the aspirations of Ontarians, particularly by wanting to fund more religious schools. The Toronto Sun said it was sorry to see Tory quitting, because he had great integrity and may have been the best mayor Toronto never had. But when Tory was leader, the usually Conservative newspaper often gave him lukewarm support, feeling he was too moderate. This was even more true of the ultra right wing National Post, which lamented “who will stand up for fiscal responsibility?” after Tory left, but previously felt he was too feeble a conservative. Politicians similarly are ready to praise rivals after they have gone. George Smitherman, the former deputy premier now running for Toronto mayor, said after Tory announced he would not run he had many good qualities, but while he was Conservative leader called him “chicken hearted” for refusing to run in the legislature seat held by Smitherman. Bob Rae, then New Democrat leader, broke a precedent by striding across the legislature floor and declaring to retiring Conservative premier William Davis “I want to shake your hand,” although he rarely had a good word for Davis before this. Those who criticized politicians often soften their stand when people retire, because they want to appear magnanimous and open- minded, and may even feel they are clearing their consciences. Sometimes they remember more the good sides of those they criticized, but often they merely are trying to make themselves feel good. Eric Dowd FFrroomm QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise.