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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2010-01-21, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 2010. PAGE 5.
Bonnie
Gropp
TThhee sshhoorrtt ooff iitt
There is something terribly wrong with a
culture inebriated by noise.
– George Steiner
Noise is to music as weeds are to
flowers. We encourage the latter and
do our damnedest to stomp the former
out of our lives.
That said, there’s a lot more noise than
music in our lives these days. Just think of
some of the day-to-day sounds we take for
granted that would utterly mystify our
forebears.
My grandparents never had their innards
massaged by a throbbing in-car stereo. They
never heard a nail gun. They wouldn’t know
what to make of the beep of a microwave oven
or that eerie four-bar flourish that announces
the arrival of Microsoft Windows on our
computers.
My grandparents never suffered the roar of a
snowmobile or a leaf blower at full throttle –
and they certainly never heard an LRAD.
Neither, for that matter, have I – and I don’t
want to.
LRAD stands for Long-Range Acoustic
Device.
Military types with their charming gift for
euphemism – they’re the folks who dubbed
flesh-shredding land mines ‘anti-personnel
devices’ – have outdone themselves with their
description of the LRAD. They call it ‘a
communication device’.
More accurately, it is a ‘sound cannon’ – a
weapon that can blow you right out of your
socks.
The LRAD is basically a loudspeaker on
steroids. It can be (and has been) employed by
law enforcement officers to disperse
protesters, rioters or … well, anybody that the
authorities find annoying but
not worth killing outright.
When the trigger is pulled on the LRAD
cannon, anyone it’s aimed at will be assaulted
by an ululating siren like screech that can be
precisely, and painfully, calibrated.
How loud is an LRAD blast? Sticking your
head next to a stage amp at a Rolling Stones
concert might subject you to 120 decibels. At
130 DB you’d be writhing on the ground. At
140 DB your hearing deteriorates and you
experience permanent hearing loss. The
LRAD can deliver an aural punch up to 152
DB.
Some communication device.
Sound as a weapon. Just what we need in a
world of chainsaws, car alarms and ambulance
sirens.
There should be an upside to living in
increasingly noisier times. You’d think that
we’d be getting fussier and more discrimina-
ting in the noise department. You’d hope that
the back-alley beating we’ve been giving our
ears would at least make us appreciate the
subtleties of nice noise – i.e. music.
Sadly, the opposite appears to be the case.
The sound quality that comes out of a standard
compact disc is infinitely superior to the sound
that emanates from those dinky MP3 players.
But compact discs players, alas, aren’t all that
compact compared to an MP3 player, which
allows a listener to tote around up to 4,000
tunes on his hip.
Accordingly, CDs are on the wane and
every third person you meet is walking around
with tiny noise-channelling amplifiers
embedded in their earholes – even though the
sound is decidedly inferior – even crummy.
As a matter of fact, a music professor at
Stanford University claims he has evidence
that younger listeners actually prefer what he
calls ‘lo-fi’ versions of popular songs to hi-fi
ones. He claims that to a large percentage of
the new generation, popular music is supposed
to sound muddy and indistinct.
More noise in our lives – and this time it’s
entirely self-inflicted.
But some might argue it’s not noisy enough
out there. Take hybrid cars.
The knock on hybrids is that they’re too
quiet. Cyclists and pedestrians can’t hear them
coming the way they can hear old
gas-burning, piston-chugging ordinary cars
and trucks.
Collisions between hybrids and cyclists or
pedestrians are ‘way up.
Automobile manufacturers are now
searching for some kind of aural warning
device that can be attached to hybrids to let
people know there’s an electric vehicle bearing
down on them – but what kind of sound?
A honk? A whistle? A three-bar yodel from
Lyle Lovett?
Whatever the final solution, you can bet
your hearing aid it’ll be yet another noise your
grandparents never had to put up with.
Arthur
Black
Other Views Sounding off about noise
It’s been there a few decades now, a
splash of sparkle making a statement, not
an especially pretentious one for certain,
but still far from trivial.
Having held its position for so long it has
become part of the anatomical landscape,
though it doesn’t draw the attention it once did,
but still has significance. While it’s not often
acknowledged, there’s no question it holds a
special place.
This I’ve never doubted, but I have been
surprised recently by how special.
It was a typical day, hands before me, tap-
tapping on keyboard. Then a glance down
exposed something amiss with my engagement
ring. Closer inspection revealed that one of the
tiny diamonds clustered around the centre
stone was gone and I was surprised by the
feelings that passed over me with the
discovery.
Before perspective was regained I was
assailed by first, and possibly appropriately, a
sense of loss. Soon to be followed by regret
that I hadn’t taken the time to get it checked
regularly, disconcertion over its damaged
aesthetic, and, thanks to a vivid
imagination, worry as to any possible
significance.
But none of this was anything over how it
felt to actually take the ring off my finger and
send it away for repair. I’m rather nonplussed
over how odd it feels, an oddness amplified by
the fact that I decided to send the wedding
band along as well for some long-overdue
TLC, leaving my finger bereft and bare.
In a world where monumental loss is
experienced by people every moment of every
day, it’s so silly of me to put so much stock on
the absence of some jewellery. But then again,
this isn’t just any jewellery.
On a gorgeous fall day in late 1979, a
suggestion was made to begin a life together,
and a week later, a sapphire and diamond
cluster was placed on the third finger of my left
hand. The following spring an engraved band
was added, and with the exception of brief
minutes here and there they have not left my
hand since.
Of course, in the early days of newlywed-
dom I could often be caught gazing starry-eyed
at the modest, but acceptably glittery twinkler
newly gracing my hand.
Admittedly since, that rosy glow has
occasionally been overshadowed by
practicality. Rings can be hazardous,
scratching, catching or just getting in the way.
Also, with time their lustre has diminished
and like a callous middle-aged husband trading
in his wife for a tight, toned, 20-something, my
eyes have strayed to brilliant new gems and
thought... perhaps.
But deep down I must have recognized that
over the course of the past 30 years my
wedding rings have become as much a part of
me as the hand they rest on.
Regrettably I consider them with the same
interest as well, seeing them but taking their
presence for granted, neither taking time to
reflect on their significance nor their meaning
to me.
It was only with them missing in action that
I acknowledged their importance to me.
My hubby is a practical fellow. Investing in a
ring wasn’t going to make any difference in the
outcome as far as he was concerned. But they
symbolize something enduring and I suspect
seeing me worrying with my right hand the
absence on my left, he knows how much that
symbol has meant to me.
Ministers not all swimming rats
Missing in action
Premier Dalton McGuinty’s cabinet is
seeing an exodus of ministers, but it is
not simply a case of rats leaving a
sinking ship.
McGuinty’s Liberals have suffered from
scandals and are down in polls deservedly and
no longer assured of winning an election in
2011.
But ministers, and this is no defence of
them, are quitting partly at least for other
reasons.
George Smitherman, who left as deputy
premier and minister of energy and
infrastructure to run for mayor of Toronto,
would have been a target of huge criticism if
he had stayed in cabinet and hurt it as a whole.
Smitherman, 45, had a creditable career in
several provincial roles, but in an early one as
health minister was among those who bungled
an attempt to create an electronic health
records system and allowed huge waste.
Opposition parties forced the resignation of
a more recent health minister, David Caplan,
and were honing in on Smitherman. He will be
relieved to move where he does not bear that
burden. Government is glad he has taken his
troubles with him.
Smitherman also would have had difficulty
becoming premier, because he is gay, and
being mayor of a jurisdiction with nearly one-
fifth of the province’s population and no-one
to give him orders has its attractions.
Michael Bryant, who held posts including
attorney general, traditionally the top job after
premier and treasurer, quit at 43 because
McGuinty does not appear to be preparing to
resign, resented Bryant showing eagerness to
succeed him and even demoted him.
Jim Watson, 48, who left as municipal
affairs minister hoping to return to his former
job as mayor of Ottawa, must have felt out of
touch with current demands in that portfolio.
Watson brought skills in publicizing. For
example, when consumer services minister, he
permitted restaurants to allow diners to bring
their own wine, which attracted huge publicity
and diverted attention from more pressing
problems, but whose impact was trivial.
But Watson proved reluctant to tackle
serious issues, such as the need to ban
municipal councilors from accepting
donations from developers attempting to
influence their decisions. This ban so far exists
only in Toronto.
Watson pointed out MPPs are allowed to
accept such donations, but among many flaws
in this argument they are not the ones who
judge most applications for development.
Watson claimed many in Ottawa municipal
politics encouraged him to return and it may
be because they felt he would be less of an
obstacle to progressive legislation.
Gerry Phillips, a minister without portfolio
who recently took on Smitherman’s
infrastructure and energy duties temporarily,
has been reported as leaving, but his case is
different from the others.
Phillips is 68 and was a minister under
premier David Peterson in the 1980s. He had
such stature, that when he decided to run for
leader more than a decade ago, he had the
support of half the Liberal caucus.
But he withdrew because of a heart problem
and asked to be a minister without portfolio
because of his health. He has won six elections
and would not be leaving because he feared
losing.
MPPs have left the legislature before an
election believing their party would not win.
The biggest exodus was before the 1985
election, when the Liberals had not won
government in 42 years and a poll rated new
leader Peterson the least known of the three
party leaders.
Sheila Copps, Don Boudria, Eric
Cunningham and Albert Roy, all of whom
were certainties to be ministers in a Peterson
cabinet, switched to run federally and the first
two won and became ministers and the others
lost and disappeared from elected politics.
Two of the most worthy New Democrats,
Richard Johnston and Michael Breaugh, who
had paid their dues and even run for leader,
dropped out before the 1990 election never
dreaming Bob Rae would lead their party to
victory.
One comfort is those whose political lives
depend on it have the same difficulty
predicting election results as the rest of us.
Eric
Dowd
FFrroomm
QQuueeeenn’’ss PPaarrkk
Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.
– Andy Rooney
Final Thought
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