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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2011-10-27, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2011. PAGE 5. The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. – Mark Twain Our increasingly Don Cherry-like federal government is in the process of lashing out $9 billion for 65 fighter jets – that’s $140 million per crate – for planes that critics claim are absurdly unsuited to Canada’s needs. But that’s okay because Honest Sam, the fast-talking guy in the stovepipe hat who sold them to us, is throwing in a 20-year service contract that will only cost us another $7 billion. Sixteen billion dollars. I’m sure we could have hired Jon Stewart for way less than that. Stewart is, of course, the host of the popular Daily Show, the TV news source for humour junkies who don’t find Fox News sufficiently hilarious. The Daily Show skewers politicians, exposing them for the buffoons, poltroons and baboons that they so frequently are. Trouble is, the show’s got so much American raw material from Washington, D.C. the Tea Party, Rick Perry, Michelle Bachman (and of course Fox News) it scarcely has time to train its crosshairs on its frostbitten neighbour to the North. And that’s a pity. Imagine what Stewart and his writers could do with walking punchlines like our pudgy pit bull Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, the incoherent interim NDP leader Nycole Turmel, and Defence Minister Peter just-air-drop-me-off-at-the- lobster-carnival MacKay. Not to mention Darth Harper. Jon Stewart has only one arrow in his quiver – humour – but for the high and mighty, humour is the H-Bomb, the ultimate weapon of mass distraction. Tyrants can weather insults, lies, treachery and chicanery but they cannot abide being laughed at. And we don’t laugh at them nearly often enough. During the Second World War the most famous man on the planet was Adolf Hitler. The second most famous was an actor named Charlie Chaplin. Hitler loved Chaplin’s films – until the actor made one called The Great Dictator, which lampooned Hitler. Hitler responded by putting Chaplin on his death list. In 1989 when the Velvet Revolution swept through Czechoslovakia, peaceful protestors came up with the ultimate ‘up yours’ to humiliate the occupying Soviet tyrants. Under cover of darkness they snuck up to a massive public monument in a Czech square that featured a menacing Russian tank. They painted it fuchsia pink. It is impossible to take a pink army tank seriously. People are warming to this new-found weapon for the weaponless. In the decidedly undemocratic republic of Belarus, the head thug, Alexander Lukashenko, has recently outlawed applause. That’s because opponents of his regime have been holding ‘laugh-ins’ wherein crowds of protestors mass in front of the presidential palace, break into huge grins and begin to applaud – apropos of nothing. Soon waves of laughter break out. It’s irresistible. Eventually even the police join in. Lukashenko goes batshit crazy whenever this happens. His latest edict declares that anyone caught clapping on Belarus Independence Day will be arrested on the spot. Can’t help but smile, can you? Canada has had its own political pricksters – Rick Mercer and Marg, Princess Warrior have brought blushes to the well-upholstered cheeks of many an Ottawa trougher, but those platforms are getting creaky and showing their age (did you realize This Hour Has 22 Minutes is going on 20 years old?) No, for real political humour with teeth you have to go to The Daily Show and its offshoot, The Colbert Report – even if the CanCon percentage is lamentably low. Currently, Stephen Colbert is lampooning the stuffing out of the U.S. campaign finance laws, which Republican wheel greasers and pork barrelers have so thoroughly corrupted they’ve managed to get corporations declared ‘citizens’ (Fred Exxon! C’mon over here and meet Bob Wal Mart!”). That way there’s no limit on how much said ‘citizens’ can spend to elect their favourite candidate. Stephen Colbert is steadfastly opposed to such skulduggery. “I do not accept the status quo,” Colbert fearlessly declares. Then adds: “I do accept Visa, MasterCard and American Express”. Arthur Black Other Views Taking on politics with humour During the early days of the Occupy Toronto protest, a Toronto radio station asked the question: If these people represent 99 per cent of the world not making big bucks, then why the hell is the 401 still so busy? It’s a valid question. Perhaps the answer is hard-working people have to get to their jobs on a weekday. I have made it no secret that I have little patience for protests and Occupy Toronto is the World Heavyweight Champion of making my blood boil. Watching television and reading newspaper coverage of the protest, one thing is clear about the message: There isn’t one. The dominant message about the Occupy Wall Street protest is the growing gap between the rich and the poor. And now because of that protest, similar protests have sprung up all over the world. At St. James Park you will find people protesting anything from war to the building of the “Mega-Quarry” to a whole host of other issues. They’re just there to be there. There is an insistence among the protesters that those who criticize them are uninformed about the group’s demographics. The protesters, they say, come from all walks of life. They are of all ages and all backgrounds. However, despite the claims of the protesters, it’s hard to believe these people are employed. It is a special kind of job that allows someone to pick up and leave for over a week on short notice. Who knows though? I could be wrong. They say they represent us (unless there’s some oil tycoon or Fortune 500 business owner reading this column – then not you) and if that’s the case, we need to rethink our representation. However, like many protests, Occupy Toronto is yet another case of one of my favourite terms “misdirected energy”. It isn’t those in the top floors of Bay Street buildings being affected by the protest, it’s the hard-working people trying to get to work on time. It would be hard to disagree with the message. The gap between the rich and the poor is growing and the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. However, how is blocking a cab driver from picking up a fare or a delivery truck driver from his destination helping anything? These people are working to keep themselves afloat, to support their families and to pay their bills. They haven’t just refused to take part in life because they felt it was unfair and complained about it to any news outlet who would listen like these protesters. The claim of every protester is always that the common people are sheep simply accepting what “The Man” is handing out to them. Occupy Toronto spawned out of a protest in New York. People in Ontario decided to create a satellite protest of a campaign that began out of largely American issues. Protesting something here simply because they did it in New York? Who are the sheep here? Who’s just doing what they’re told? A co-host from the aforementioned radio station, Todd Shapiro, took a trip down to St. James Park one morning last week with a megaphone attempting to circle the wagons shortly after 9 a.m. However, the majority of the protesters were still fast asleep in their tents, and those who weren’t, physically escorted Todd out of the public park. I guess they didn’t want to be bothered while they did whatever it is they do with their day. This was probably the first time they actually knew what the actual 99 per cent feels like. The great occupation Recently Ashleigh and I decided to renovate our bathroom. The tile and vanity were too dated for her taste and the vanity was too large for such a compact commode. The job included, among other small tasks, removing the existing tiling, taking apart the vanity, mirror, lights and medicine cabinet and (the part I’m convinced Ashleigh enjoyed the most) demolishing the existing walls that were under the tile to be replaced. Upon tearing out drywall Ashleigh stumbled upon a copy of The Citizen from May 3, 1995, that Betty Bowes, a previous owner of our home, had placed in the wall on May 5 in 1995. The newspaper was strangely reminiscent of the problems of today; Stories on the front page highlighted municipalities arguing over arena boards, debates regarding landfills and problems with landowners not being able to build on properties they had bought. Just this week I’ve seen councils debating road quality preventing people from building homes, arena boards seeking support from the municipality and both landfill sites and gravel pits being fought for, and against, tooth and nail. This glimpse in the past serves to remind us that the more things change, the more they stay the same. However this column isn’t going to focus on the challenges faced by councils both of yore and present day, but on the practice of leaving things; be they a legacy or a newspaper in the wall. I’m fortunate as are all people who write and/or take photographs professionally. Odds are, in some form or another, especially in the digital age, there will always be a reminder of times past thanks to the work I’ve done. And those reminders will bear my name, my sense of style and my flare and, in that, I’ll most likely live long past my recorded expiration date. Whether it’s through a photograph I take of friends at their wedding or something as silly as a group of friends huddled around a far-too anatomically correct snowman during Christmas break, odds are, some part of who I am will survive through what I’ve done. For others it’s getting easier and easier to leave a lasting mark on the world through technology, but one has to ask whether those marks are the ones people want to be remembered for. I have friends who have completely removed themselves from Facebook, Twitter and all social networkings sites for fear that a potential (or current) employer will see them living their lives on their free time and not approve of their activities. Due to this fear they have “unplugged” themselves from the digital world. I have others who embrace social media (aside from those who do it as their job) and use it to connect with clients, peers or students. The implications of these actions are highly scrutinized by “industry experts” who state that anything can be used against you when it comes to potential job interviews. I’ve heard some say that if you have an online social presence and you have too many pictures of yourself enjoying life, you may be viewed as irresponsible. On the other hand if your online presence is spartan, potential employers may consider you old-fashioned and not informed of current technologies, or simply believe you are anti- social. It’s a game where the only way to win is to not play... of course, that has its own problems. I’ve heard of job applicants who have had background checks done because they decided not to have a Facebook profile. It seems that, since they didn’t tweet, or use Facebook, or advertise themselves on LinkedIn or MySpace, their employer didn’t believe they are who they said they are. For a long time I was able to keep myself separate from myself (and yes that does make sense just give me a second). When anyone starts post-secondary school, they get a chance to redefine themselves. I took this opportunity and ran with it, but only because, aside from physical identification, I had next to no connections to my previous self. I was one of only two (eventually three) graduates from Central Huron Secondary School on my campus and, thanks to decentralized buildings and residences, I barely saw anyone I had any contact with prior to entering school. Pair that with the fact that my residence, my professors and the administration knew me by my first name, James (for legal purposes, I wasn’t trying to become some totally new person, I just had to fill out forms with my legal name), I was given the opportunity to start anew. I often wonder if that was the right thing to do. I wonder if all those papers I wrote will not be attributed to the same individual who writes these columns due to my nom de plume. However the choice was made and my legacy may be changed because of it. Unfortunately, the youth graduating and heading on to post-secondary school today may not have this luxury – social networks may follow them wherever they go. And, back to the newspaper that started this all, Ashleigh and I decided to put a current paper in the same secure spot in the wall for the next people who decide our bathroom designs need to be rethought. Shawn Loughlin Shawn’s Sense Denny Scott Denny’s Den Be wary of the legacy you leave