HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2011-08-25, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, AUGUST 25, 2011. PAGE 5.
So there I was, blithely dog-paddling over
a tropical reef, my mug immersed in a
face mask, a snorkel huffing and
spewing just over my right ear. I was admiring
the insanely colourful, impossibly beautiful
reef fishies flitting and fluttering all around me
when I spied something that was…the
opposite of beautiful. It was mottled brown
and grey, about a foot in length and lying
partially buried in the sand about five feet
beneath the surface of the sea. I was pretty sure
it was some kind of life form but it was
immobile and strikingly butt-ugly. It looked
like a not-very-good potter had started to
fashion a fish shape out of inferior clay, found
it beyond his powers and abandoned the
attempt. I was trying to prod the lump with one
of my swim fins when a tiny voice bubbled up
in my ear murmuring “You probably shouldn’t
mess with that.”
When I got ashore I made a sketch of the
critter and when I got near an encyclopaedia, I
looked it up.
Just as well I hadn’t managed to arouse the
thing. It was a stonefish; pound for pound the
most venomous fish in the sea. Its dorsal fin
features 13 thorn-sharp, poison-filled spines
each one of which contains enough bad stuff to
offer an agonizing death to any creature
luckless enough to get jabbed by it.
Well, a tropical climate, what do you
expect? It’s a jungle out there, bucko.
Some equatorial countries feature cockroaches
the size of skateboards and enough deadly
creepy crawlies to star in their own horror
movie.
‘Peligro’ was one of two words I saw hand-
lettered on a sign on a beach near Zihuatenejo,
Mexico years ago. The sign was jammed in the
sand in front of a big log. The other word on
the sign was ‘cocodrilo’.
‘Peligro’ I knew, means danger. But
‘cocodrilo’? Gee, sounds a little bit like
‘crocodile’…
And that’s when the log moved its tail.
But you don’t have to visit a Spanish-
speaking country to find hostile wildlife.
Look at Australia – 14 different types of
poisonous snakes, the deadly funnel-web
spider, the equally toxic redback spider, plus
virulent jellyfish, sea snakes, lionfish,
scorpionfish, stinging coral, Great White
sharks…And oh yeah – crocodiles. Saltwater
crocodiles. Up to 20 feet long, a ton and a half
heavy, lightning-quick and more than happy to
chow down on filet de Homo sapiens extra rare
whenever they can. Survive all that and you
can still get walloped by wallabies, KO’d by
koala bears or run into a kangaroo capable of
punching your lights out.
But the Australian outback pales when
compared to India, where you can be eaten by
tigers, clawed by leopards, gored by elephants,
punctured by cobras and otherwise seriously
interfered with by a witches brew of rodents,
mammals, reptiles…
And insects. You leery about angry hornets?
Allow me to introduce you to Vespa
madarinia, also known as the Asian Giant
Hornet. How giant? The size of a small
bird. The Japanese, who also know the
creature, have other names for it. One is
‘suzume bachi’, which translates as ‘sparrow
hornet’. The other common name is ‘yak killer
hornet”.
Guess how it earned that name.
If Australian wildlife is dangerous, Indian
wildlife is a Stephen King novel waiting to be
written. Small wonder India suffers a mortality
rate that’s about 30 times higher than
Australia.
Kind of makes you glad you live in a
Disneyish, Hobbity unthreatening country like
Canada where we plaster our coins with
laughing loons and goofy Rudolph reindeer
knockoffs and the national mascot is a near-
sighted rodent with buck teeth and a pancake
tail.
I mentioned (a tad smugly) this innate Great
White North superiority to an Aussie friend
who’s been living in Canada for a few years.
He snorted.
“Fair crack o’ the whip, myte,” he retorted.
“You’ve got a country with polar bears,
grizzlies, killer whales, wolverines,
rattlesnakes, giant elk, packs of wolves and
horny moose with enough armour on their
skulls to tip over a car. You’ve got clouds of
bloodsucking deer flies, horse flies, black
flies, noseeums and mosquitoes big enough to
carry off small children. Safe???
Unthreatening??? Starve the lizards! Give me
the Outback any day.”
He had a point. Several points, actually.
And he hadn’t even mentioned Don Cherry.
Arthur
Black
Other Views It’s a jungle out there, eh?
There are worse ways to be awakened
from a nap than a tornado, but I would
venture a guess that there aren’t too
many.
Shortly after 4 p.m. on Sunday, when the
wind had died down and the tornado had
moved on from Goderich, I ran out into the
rain to make sure my car was ok. There was a
tree limb that took two of us to lift lodged
under the car’s running board.
I was soaked through with rain, but even so I
couldn’t help but notice that trees were broken
in half, an entire length of wooden fence was
gone and pieces of hail the size of golf balls
were melting in the grass beside me. All of
this, not to mention, was going on while I was
still recovering from the wind blowing my
window in on me, clobbering my head like a
scene from The Wizard of Oz.
But when I gathered myself, I hadn’t been
whisked away to the technicolour world of Oz
where friendly munchkins escorted me from
place to place. It was a grey place of
devastation and destruction with people
walking around, riding ATVs and dirt bikes
and taking pictures and videos to show their
friends.
I had never really been touched by Mother
Nature in such a way before, so this whole
tornado experience in Goderich really seemed
like something out of a movie for me. Clearly.
I mean, I was looking out the window when
this beast made its way through, which I was
told later was pretty much the number one
thing you don’t do in the event of a tornado.
But I survived, and evidently, as was the case
with Norman Laberge, not everyone was quite
so lucky. People were injured, houses were
demolished and lives are going to have to be
rebuilt.
There were winds that were as high as 300
kilometres an hour and there was plenty of
destruction.
So while at first I was really wondering what
I had done to deserve a tornado, I soon realized
how lucky I was to be in as good of shape as I
was.
And living through an event like this can
really make a man step back and take pause
and realize just how little he has control over in
this world.
You can have the nicest car in the world, or
the nicest home in the world and you can work
on improvements every day of your life, but if
the winds get angry and swirl the wrong way,
your car can be on its roof in a second or
the top floor of your home can be lying in a
pile of bricks after a tornado makes its way
through.
Just minutes after the rain had stopped and
the sun was shining and above all the sirens
racing up this street or that, the sound of chain
saws could be heard on multiple streets
throughout the town. Neighbours with chain
saws were out helping those without to cut tree
limbs down and clear the debris.
It was a true Huron County spirit that I was
proud to see; neighbours helping neighbours in
their time of need.
So now as countless homeowners begin to
pick up the pieces and over 150 business-
owners replace their marquees or fix their
storefront windows, the Goderich community
will pull together just as any other Huron
County community would if it was them who
suffered the brunt of this tornado.
It might not look exactly the same as it did
before Sunday afternoon, but the people will
no doubt do their best and in the end, Goderich
will again be something its people can be
proud of.
No place like home
Old soccer referees don’t retire or fade
away, they pretty much have to die or
quit to get out of that racket.
Retiring isn’t as easy as it sounds for
many people, but it’s the hardest for soccer
referees.
Plenty of referees just plain quit – they give
up because they’ve had it with any number of
things. Over-zealous parents, a continuing
degradation of the respect once held for the
sport, sore knees, a lack of personal time,
take your pick and you can probably find
someone who claims that was their
reason.
However, retiring, saying that you’re leaving
because you’ve done it long enough and it is
time for someone else to take up the mantle –
is difficult.
It could be difficult because of the lack of
referees in an area. You can’t retire because
there simply isn’t anyone old enough or
experienced enough to take over the games
you were doing.
It can be difficult because, while the pay is
typically meager compared to other physical
jobs, it is an income that people may come to
rely on.
Or you just may not be able to do it because
people ask you or call you when a game needs
to be done.
I recently refereed a soccer tournament in
Brussels and noticed that there are three older
referees, two referees between the ages of 20
and 40 and one younger referee.
Having known two of the older referees for
some time, I’ve heard them both say that this
year is going to be the last at least three
different years running.
The scary thing is, one of them I
haven’t refereed with in a good five years
meaning he’s probably said it least five more
times.
Each and every year I say to the people I
typically work with on the pitch that this will
probably be my last year.
I swear that the time it takes and the
flack you get aren’t worth what you get
out of it, but there simply isn’t anyone to
replace me.
I was nearly sure that, upon moving to Blyth
and Blyth having no 25-and-over teams, it
would mark the end of my refereeing. Not
immediately mind you, but in the next couple
years.
I was wrong, as I found myself on the pitch
for a few U16 games throughout the season.
Now whether I’m a mediocre or great
referee is beside the point, the fact is I’m a
referee and I’m here.
That puts me head and shoulders above
other kids, some my age, most younger, who
quit, and I don’t blame them.
All it takes is one bad interaction with a
parent, or having to reprimand a family
member of a friend, before you realize
that the whistle and the cards are onerous, and
that the black shirt, while often light as a
feather, can feel as heavy as a leaden
weight.
These bad experiences lead to an aging
referee population as newer referees either
aren’t interested in joining or quickly learn it
can be a thankless job unless you find the right
teams to officiate.
To that end, I’ve avoided using the “R” word
(retirement) this year and I’ll simply say that I
don’t think I’ll be continuing on as a referee
much longer.
While some may heave a sigh of relief
at that, it’s not due to any negative
response I’ve received.
The simple fact is that refereeing is for
people in a different place than I.
People with regular hours and no “night-
time” work can dedicate themselves to a few
soccer games a week.
Unfortunately for me (and for anyone who
needs a referee), I often find myself having to
turn down work due to night time scheduling,
weekend work and simply trying to have a life
outside of work, refereeing and similar
endeavours.
I always told myself that once I went away
to get a post secondary education I would
stop with the refereeing, at least for a few
years.
I didn’t feel that it was necessarily
something that would lend itself to being
feasible to continued to do alongside a career
and, having my career and refereeing both
being such public affairs, I am now more sure
of that fact than ever.
So consider this a hiatus of sorts – kind of
like those teachers that retire then substitute
for decades after.
I’m sure I’ll come back to “substitute teach”
or “substitute ref” for the occasional game, but
I think it is time I stop sitting on the proverbial
sidelines.
So – anyone need another player for their
adult soccer team next year?
Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn’s Sense
Denny
Scott
Denny’s Den
The problem with retiring
Today is only one day in all the days that
will ever be. But what will happen in all the
other days that ever come can depend on
what you do today.
– Ernest Hemingway
Final Thought