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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2011-04-14, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, APRIL 14, 2011. PAGE 5. Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. – Anonymous Indeed it ain’t. I’ve just learned that the Nickelodeon cable network is preparing to launch a new television series whimsically entitled “The 90s Were All That”. Yes, it’s a TV show about a decade. No, they’re not talking about the 1890s. I can’t even remember the 1990s – and I don’t drug or drink. It’s not that I’m nostalgia challenged. I feel a distinct sense of mourning for family farms, elm trees, 10-cent coffee and drive-in movies. I miss milkmen, gas station attendants, paper boys and telephone receptionists. I long for the heft of a real typewriter, metal hotel room keys, vinyl records – and I’d swap my flimsy plastic cell phone lozenge for a good old clunky rotary job in a heartbeat. But that’s not the world we live in anymore. Today, trends pop up on the far horizon and then disappear with a swoosh in the rear view mirror before we have a chance to hiccup. It took Tolstoy six years to write War and Peace . The media phenomenon known as “&#*! My Dad Says” went from original twitter feed to YouTube sensation to bestseller list to hit TV series in just six weeks. I grant you, in terms of quality there is some distance between the two works, but still… Last year, in a moment of lemming-like consumer delusion I briefly considered lashing out $800 for a brand new state-off-the-art iPad. Good thing I resisted. The launch of iPad II earlier this year has rendered the original hopelessly obsolete. It’s not just iPads – have you got an iPod? Put it on eBay, pal. The iPhone was a dagger in the back of the iPod, the sales of which have been sagging steadily for the past three years. While you’re at it, dump your discs. I’m not talking about LPs and 45’s – they’ve been extinct for eons. I mean your floppy discs, your mini-discs, yea, even your CDs and DVDs. Netflix and iTunes are pushing them off the cliff even as I type these words on my laughably out-of-date laptop (two years old and ready for the scrap yard). Those CDs still make nifty drink coasters, though. And if you string a few of them together and hang them in the garden they might keep the starlings away. Some old technologies refuse to lie down and die. It is still possible to walk into a Western Union office and dictate a telegram – even though telegrams haven’t made much sense since that day in August, 1876 when Alexander Graham Bell placed the world’s first long distance call from Brantford, Ontario to the town of Paris, 10 miles away. Fax machines, those mastodons of office communication, lurk on desktops everywhere – right beside the computers and scanners that were supposed to replace them. Film cameras are supposed to be dead and buried – the world’s last roll of Kodachrome colour film was processed at Dwayne’s Photo Service in Parson’s, Kansas last July -- but diehard purists insist that digital photos lack the ‘soul’ of old fashioned film. Wishful thinking or not, you can still buy film for your Kodak Brownie. Back about the time North Americans were first getting used to the idea of telephones and electric lights there lived a nephew of the Sioux warrior Crazy Horse named Red Fox. He was a chief himself, a learned man and an early advocate for aboriginal rights. In his autobiography he wrote: “I met Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell and many others who impressed me as great people, but pride in them and their achievements has not over-awed me, for I am not convinced that the comforts and advancements which they have brought to the world have made people more content and happy than the Indians were through the centuries on the mountains, prairies and deserts of the primeval, virgin continent”. A few years ago a tourist in Washington was riding in a taxi past the federal archives building and noticed the legend carved in granite across the front of the building. It read: “WHAT’S PAST IS PROLOGUE”. “What does that mean?” the tourist asked. “It means,” said the driver, “that you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” I fear that both Chief Red Fox and the cabbie were right. Arthur Black Other Views Caution: future dead ahead The largely symbolic concept of a remuneration freeze was raised at Huron County Council’s April 6 meeting just before the 2011 budget was officially adopted. Contrary to a motion made by Huron East Mayor Bernie MacLellan in December of 2010, Bluewater’s Paul Klopp suggested that Huron County Council remunerations be frozen this year. Not because it would equate big savings for taxpayers, he admitted, but more for the message it would send and the example it would set. Remuneration has always been a hot topic. When politicians sign cheques to pay themselves with money that isn’t theirs, it’s almost human nature to be suspicious. However, as these costs are all a matter of public record, so as 2011 budgets roll in we should now know that in exchange for governing our communities, dedicating time they don’t have and making decisions we wouldn’t want to make, our councillors, mayors, reeves and deputies make a wage that most students would turn their noses up at. Seriously, there are kids out there flipping burgers and serving beer on golf courses who make more through part-time jobs than the majority of our elected representatives do. And while it’s not ideal, these councillors sign up for the job, as well as the wage. Honorariums for mayors and reeves in The Citizen’s five municipalities range from $7,500 to $11,000 in 2011. Throw them a few thousands dollars more for being a Huron County Councillor (and meeting compensation and mileage) and you have your bottom line. Like I said, they sign up for it, but when councillors like Klopp feel they need to keep these bargain basement rates low despite staff pay increases and the annual cost of living increase, you have to wonder if our expectations are a little unreasonable. When Huron East Council considered a wind turbine development policy at its April 5 meeting, I know I was happy to be sitting on the side of the table I was. I wouldn’t have wanted to make a decision between protecting residents who could be affected by wind turbines and putting all Huron East taxpayers on the hook for potential legal costs, should the bylaw be challenged. This is where we would probably use the old cliché, “well, that’s why we pay them the big bucks,” except that we don’t. Sure most municipal representatives are successful in owning their own business, or in holding down a well-paying career, but to make those decisions and to carve our path into the future, we pay them a pittance. So while there will always be those who complain that our local representatives are paid too much, I certainly won’t be one of them. It’s easy to read our larger newspapers and see six-figure salaries being paid and citizens unknowingly footing the bill for things they shouldn’t be paying for and lump all politicians into that basket of bad apples, but that simply isn’t the case and it’s not fair. So next time you leave the drive-thru and your coffee order has been botched or your favourite “Sandwich Artist” makes you a lunch that falls apart in your hands, remember that more often than not those employees make more than your mayor does. And then ask yourself if you would want your drive-thru barista or the “Sandwich Artist” making decisions that could affect your health, well-being and financial vitality. At that point, we may find ourselves having a little more respect for a councillor’s job and what we pay them to do it. Politics with that? I don’t carry a knife. I don’t typically carry a gun. I’m not trained in any advance form of martial arts (unless the hours I spent playing video games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter as a kid somehow translated into muscle memory). When I walk out my door in the morning, the most dangerous thing I have is a pencil tucked behind my ear or the keys in my hand (or my metal laptop case, I suppose I could swing that pretty hard). And somehow, with that limited, improvised arsenal, I survive the day. So, I do get a little bit miffed when people make such a big deal over the legalization (or illegalization) of weapons. Police need guns. Farmers need guns. Hunters may need guns. Military personnel need guns. Police need batons. Security guards may need batons, or tasers, or guns, as long as they know what they’re doing. John Q. Public, however, doesn’t need a gun, nor does he need a taser, or a switchblade. So, I have to wonder, why is arming those with prosthetic limbs such a huge concern in Maine? For those of you unaware of what I’m referring to, Maine lawmakers recently decided that, in cases of emergency, a one- armed individual would be more useful with a knife he didn’t have to open with his teeth. To that end, they decided that one-armed individuals can carry switchblades, weapons that flip open (and can take off appendages while doing so) that are illegal to carry in almost all states and illegal to own in most states. All I can say is Doctor Richard Kimble would be spinning in his fictional grave with this kind of decision. As far as I know, blades can be carried by Americans provided they are visible, not automatic (switchblade), gravity-swung or centrifugally activated (butterfly-style), and meet certain length requirements. Why can’t these one-armed individuals wear utility knives on their belt in a sheath like any huntsman does? As long as it’s on the armed side (no pun intended) a sheath with a blade held in by a leather strap should be more then adequate for any “emergencies” that pop up. Well, this kind of gets away from the point. What is with the obsession of everyone having to be armed? (Again, not meant to be a pun, I need to find a different verb here). I realize that Americans have the right to bear ar... er, equip themselves with weapons, but do we really need to make sure that every sector of the community has the right to carry something that could potentially end someone’s life? Some might wonder why this decision in a New England state bothers me so much. Well, I don’t think the Conservatives are done leading our country yet. That isn’t to say I do or don’t support them, I do support numbers though. Every poll I’ve seen thus far has the Conservative Party of Canada (CPC) gaining round over its competition, and CPC leader Stephen Harper has made no attempt to hide the fact that, as far as leaders go, he seems to be the most American one we’ve had in a long time (despite his claims that Liberal Party of Canada (LPC) leader Michael Ignatieff is an American wrapped in a Canadian flag). So that’s what concerns me. Conservative, Liberal, left, right, I’m not the guy to ask about how you should vote, I’m just frightened at the prospect of Canada being viewed, more so, as a part of the United States. Call it jumping the shark if you must, or nuking the fridge, but I can’t help but wonder if, in the future, a Canadian province will be faced with the proposition of arming individuals with no arms with some kind of foot-held and mouth-operated gun. Again, that may be a stretch, it would require Canadians to continue to become more like our neighbours to the south and then to adopt the weapon-happy attitudes that they have. I have a confession to make. Some people have financial fears that keep them awake at night, others fear for the lives and livelihood of their relatives. I fear that Canada will lose its identity. Once upon a time we were a fighting force to be reckoned with. Once upon a time we were the peacekeepers of the world. Once upon a time we were respected. Now we aren’t even respected enough to get a seat on the United Nations Security Council, a body that we have held a seat on since two years after its original inception in 1948. That’s the first time in more than 60 years that we have failed to secure a seat on that prestigious board. That tells me that something is wrong. Back to what inspired this fearful column however – weapons. Are they necessary? Yes. I’m not sitting here saying we need a utopia where weapons don’t exist. Human nature leads to conflict (in my belief), and you need the tools to end those conflicts as quickly as possible. However, when it gets to the point that we’re saying one group can access weapons that are illegal to another, when other, viable options are available (again, in my opinion), I think we’ve gone overboard. While I won’t say anything as cliché as make love not war, I will say make sense, not senselessness. Remember, most of us North Americans walk to our cars, or to work every day without a weapon, maybe our lawmakers should focus on something a bit more important. Oh, and say Maine’s new licence plate motto with me folks; “It wasn’t me, it was the one-armed man!” Shawn Loughlin Shawn’s Sense Maine setting itself up for Fugitive 2 Denny Scott Denny’s Den