The Citizen, 2012-12-06, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2012. PAGE 5.
T here are limits to man’s wisdom, but no
limits on his stupidity – and that’s just
not fair.
– Konrad Adenauer
Sometimes I despair of our courts. One guy
draws six months in the slammer for
knocking over a convenience store for
chump change; meanwhile British Columbia
chiseler Ian Thow, who bilked pensioners and
small time investors out of millions of dollars
gets a powder-puff pat on the wrist and may
well be back on the street by the time you read
this.
“The law” Charles Dickens has one of his
characters opine, “is a ass...a idiot.”
Often true – but not always. Consider the
case of the judge in Cleveland, Ohio who
pronounced judgement on Shena Hardin
recently. Ms. Hardin had been caught on
camera driving her car up on a sidewalk to get
around a school bus that was discharging
children. Her sentence? Neither fine nor jail
time. She merely has to stand at a major
intersection for two school days wearing a sign
around her neck that says ONLY AN IDIOT
DRIVES ON A SIDEWALK TO AVOID A
SCHOOL BUS.
As a punishment, that has a nice ring
to it. As a matter of fact it has a kind of
universality that might well lend itself to other
cases.
Republican congressman Paul Broun of
Georgia for example. Rep. Broun recently cast
doubt on the theories of evolution,
embryology and the Big Bang theory,
dismissing them as “lies from the pit of Hell”.
The earth is only 9,000 years old, the
Congressman assured anyone who would
listen, and anyone who disagreed with him
was consigned to everlasting damnation.
It is somewhat dismaying to learn that
Congressman Broun is a member of the U.S.
House Committee on Science, Space and
Technology, but I think that would be negated
nicely if he was required to wear a sign around
his neck saying I AM AN IDIOT.
And although he’s no longer in a position to
wear the sign, Edward Archibald of West Palm
Beach would certainly qualify on behavioural
grounds. Mister Archibald recently won a bug-
eating contest in his home town by cramming
wriggling worms, chirping crickets and live
three- to four-inch long cockroaches into his
mouth and swallowing them faster than any of
the other 29 contestants.
Alas, Archibald didn’t get to enjoy first prize
(a live python); he collapsed and died right
after downing his last insect.
Although Archibald can’t wear the sign
around his neck, perhaps a placard declaring
HE WAS AN IDIOT could be propped against
his tombstone.
Idiot signs – it’s a growth industry when you
think about it. Consider: this past Halloween,
Americans spent $370 million on Halloween
costumes – for their pets. Time Magazine says
15 per cent of the population shelled out
serious money to outfit their chihuahuas and
tortoiseshells in costumes ranging from
Batman to Lady Gaga – that’s more 45 million
idiot signs right there!
And as long as we’re handing out awards
how about a lifetime achievement I’M STILL
AN IDIOT sign for Donald Trump? The
bouffant-ed blowhard buffoon outdid himself
during the recent presidential election
campaign, texting and tweeting paranoid and
delusional denunciations of the U.S. President.
NBC anchorman Brian Williams nicely
encapsulated the New York nut-bar’s
contributions, saying that Trump had “driven
well past the last exit to relevance and veered
into something closer to irresponsible.” Trump
meanwhile, was punching out tweets such as
“Let’s fight like hell and stop this great and
disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at
us!”
No, Donald. Only at you.
But we need to save one sign for a radio
listener named Donna – mercifully we don’t
know her last name – who recently phoned up
a radio open line show in North Dakota to
complain about the placement of “deer
crossing” signs on busy roads.
Donna felt that the signs were hazardous and
that the deer should be directed to cross roads
in less travelled areas.
The radio show host assured her that
actually…the signs weren’t meant for the deer
to read.
“I feel so stupid,” said Donna. “I had no clue
that these signs were for us.”
Arthur
Black
Other Views
Punishment a sign of the times
Some people just don’t get it. There are
some who learn from the world around
them, let their mistakes improve their
lives going forward and then there are others
who bury their heads in the sand. Musician
Chris Brown is a head-in-the-sand kind of guy.
I have written about Brown before. He’s the
musician, loved by millions of fans, who beat
fellow singer and girlfriend Rihanna in an
assault that, according the police report
“caused [her] mouth to fill up with blood and
blood to splatter all over her clothing and the
interior of the vehicle.”
This came after Brown “punched her in the
left eye with his right hand. He then drove
away in the vehicle and continued to punch her
in the face with his right hand while steering
the vehicle with his left hand.”
This is just an excerpt from the report that
involves death threats, Brown smashing
Rihanna’s head against the car window and
him biting her ear.
Brown recently deleted his account on the
social networking site Twitter after an
“altercation” with Texas-based comedian
Jenny Johnson who has reached cult status for
standing up to the misogynist bully. The actual
exchange is too vulgar to print in the pages of
The Citizen.
This should come as no surprise to anyone
with a brain in their head, but Brown’s
mindless fans have tricked themselves into
thinking that he’s changed; including Rihanna.
Yes, it’s true. According to multiple sources,
both public and private, the couple is back
together again. In fact, just days before the
exchange that chased Brown from Twitter,
Rihanna posted a picture of Brown shirtless on
a bed on the same site, leaving few to wonder
where the pair’s relationship currently stands.
This sad reality led to Brown’s final
comment to Johnson in the exchange, “Just ask
Rihanna if she mad??????”
Brown is, of course, delusional enough to
think that because Rihanna is so stupid as to
take him back after what he did to her that all
should be forgiven. It opens up a bigger debate
about crime and justice and accountability.
One can understand how Brown, who is now
23, doesn’t know what it’s like to be sorry for
something, as he has lived his brief life without
any consequences.
After pleading guilty to felony assault in the
Rihanna case, Brown was given community
service. His music career went on
uninterrupted. He has since won Grammy
Awards, made awards show appearances,
resumed a successful Twitter account with over
13 million followers and the woman he beat to
within inches of her life has taken him back.
After his appearance at the Grammys earlier
this year a story was published featuring
dozens of women who tweeted about Brown
that night and how desirable they found him.
The women all posted that Brown could beat
them anytime.
Needless to say the reality of domestic
violence is lost on these idiots who have
somehow twisted the idea of a man viciously
beating a woman into a sexual fantasy.
This was even furthered by the amount of
death threats Johnson received from Brown
fans after the altercation.
So who’s worst here? Brown? Brown’s fans?
Rihanna? It’s like an election, pick the lesser
evil. But one thing’s for sure, spending some
time at a battered woman’s shelter might help
open the eyes of some of these music fans.
We’ve seen it before with Michael Jackson.
Just because some lowlife can sing and dance,
it shouldn’t elevate him above the law.
Stuck on stupid
Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn’s Sense
For the last couple weeks, my editor
Shawn and I have been working hard to
get stories written about the Queen’s
Diamond Jubilee medal. These awards are
given to people who have a positive impact on
their country, province, region, community,
etc.
They will likely only happen once in any
given person’s life-time, as seeing a Queen
command for more than 60 years twice over
probably doesn’t come along all that often.
(That said, some local residents like Neil
McGavin have received both the Queen’s Gold
Jubilee medal and the diamond jubilee medal).
I thought that these awards had an air of
dignity to them. The people receiving them are
community leaders and people with the best
interest of their community at heart.
Then I heard about three recipients of the
award who, in my mind, cheapened the entire
thing; Mary Wagner, Linda Gibbons and Justin
Bieber.
Bieber is an ‘artist’ that I have no
appreciation for. That isn’t to say I begrudge
the people who do enjoy his particular brand
of muzak, it’s to say that I don’t feel his talent
matches the hype. Quite the opposite, actually,
I feel that a lot of people are far more talented
but, because they haven’t had their big break,
they toil in obscurity where Bieber was
fortunate enough to have his video stumbled
on by others.
Anyway, I don’t begrudge him receiving
the award. I’m sure he’s done lots to help
people in this world, be it through his off-
handed fundraising effort for the recent floods
and storms in the United States or other
ambitions. I begrudge him cheapening the
award.
This young man, who apparently has never
been taught any better (yes, I’m looking
squarely at you Pattie Malette), showed up to
receive this medal, which comes with
dedicated instructions for how to wear it for
fancy dress, draped in the trappings of the
Duck Dynasty mixed with a rapper’s ensemble.
Meeting the Prime Minister of Canada, a role
which deserves some innate respect
(regardless of the damage Mr. Harper has done
to the position in my humble opinion), he
donned his hillbilly best; a pair of jean overalls
fastened at one shoulder and a ball cap with an
uncurved bill.
It would have been one thing to wear a
simple dress shirt and slacks to maintain a
comfort level. That would still frustrate me,
but it would have shown some reverence for
the position of his presenter, the meaning of
the medal and, most importantly, the calibre of
individuals with whom he shared the medal.
Wagner is a convict. She couldn’t receive
her medal because she was behind bars when
it was to be awarded to her.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of
people behind bars that didn’t deserve it.
Mahatma Gandhi comes to mind, as does
Hurricane Carter. Wagner, on the other hand,
was in jail because she doesn’t pay attention to
what the court tells her to do.
Having been repeatedly charged with
mischief and then violating court orders at
abortion clinics, Wagner is being held at a
correctional facility for women in Milton,
Ontario, until her next court appearance which
will deal with charges of violating her
probation after she was arrested at a Toronto
abortion clinic in August.
I’m not going to sit here and discuss whether
it’s right for her to be protesting abortion.
That’s not the point. The point is how they are
protesting.
Wagner has a rabid belief that she doesn’t
know how to stop pushing on other people.
She does so in such a way that she has been
arrested not only for contravening the law of
the land but also for contravening the rulings
of the judge after she had broke those laws.
That history, however, didn’t stop MP
Maurice Vellacott from Saskatchewan from
nominating her and Gibbons for the award.
Gibbons, a Toronto grandmother, also
received the medal after being charged
numerous times for breaching “bubble zones”
around abortion clinics that were set out by the
court.
I wonder if anyone realizes exactly what
they are encouraging by not only suggesting
the medal for these people but for choosing
them as a recipient of it. Sometimes you need
people who can rouse the rabble, sometimes
you can enjoy people’s point of view as it
contrasts with your own as it shows you the
world. However, breaking the law so flagrantly
completely ruins any message the pair could
have.
It tarnishes their images, their message and
the image of this prestigious award.
I also wonder what kind of MP Vellacott is,
likening these two women, who could legally
protest just as effectively as they are illegally
protesting, to Martin Luther King Junior.
Change can and will happen through legal
means. As I write this I think to the fact that
two mayors of local municipalities are facing
consequences of their actions showing no one
is above the law. Awarding these women and
likening them to one of the greatest freedom
fighters in western history is setting a horrible
example for children.
So join me, fellow Canadians, in requesting
three simple things; the confiscation of these
medals.
These three, either through their reception
attire or through their ridiculous behavior,
have cheapened what the medal means and, in
doing so, have spat in the face of other
recipients as well as the Queen’s.
Honours cheapened by poor choices
Denny
Scott
Denny’s Den