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The Exeter Times-Advocate, 1940-11-28, Page 7
THE EXETER TIMES-A©VQCATE Thursday, November 3$, hho “The British Empire” If you admire self-made men, What do you think of the man who, left without a father and mother at nine months of age, got his start by crawling to a baby show and win ning the first prize of $1,000?* * * We don't believe there is such a person, but Jiminy Crickets tells us he knows a man who is too proud to beg, too dignified to go on re lief, too honest to steal, and, too lazy to work. * * * Dear Colonel: Suppose you were in my place.... The new boarder at our house in vited me to attend a picture show with him and. I DID. Then, when all the lights in the theatre went out—as THEY DID tAnd you powdered your nose— as I DID And then the lights came on—as THEY DID And he looked at me and said, “Since when is red face powder in vogue?"—as HE DID. Tell me—what would have been a proper and witty rejoinder? —Betty San Well, Betty 'San, you have ad dressed your inquiry to the wrong department in this paper—and because we never powder our pro boscis, we just don’t know what we could have said. BUT, we’d surely 'have liked to have seen you. * * * “Tell me not in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream"— More a ‘nightmare’ when you hear The heroine of a ‘Soap Opera' scream. * Mi * Still He Died After a temperance lecture in Scotland, one of the audience tar ried and greeted the anemic speak er as follows: “Did I understand ye to say ye never took a drink in a* yer life?” “Yes( liquor has never passed my lips.” “Weel, sir, my old man now dead was a bit o’ a drinker a’ his life, an’ three days after he died he was a healthier looking mon than ye are now.” * * * “Make me a child again, just for tonight.” Once said a Scotchman—and Scotchmen are tight- “I’m leaving tonight on a boat trip to Ayr, “Make me a child again and I’ll travel half-fare.” * Ms * TODAY’S SIMILE—lAs quiet as the village mausoleum at 2 a.m. Ms >ts Mt 'Curious Cynic says: ........a wrinkle is the nick of time. ........marriage is the consumma tion of a man’s conceit and a wo man’s cunning. ........tact is the art of saying noth ing when there is nothing to be said. ........and triplets are a two hund red per cent increase in expecta tions.* * ♦ Optimist You may not be brilliant, or clever or smart; You may not be of fast pace, But if you have grit and a confident heart You’ll be there at the end of 'the race. Ms Ms * Revenue Officer: “Sonny, d’ya wanta make five dollars?” Mountaineer Bio y; : “Shore! How?” Officer: “I’ll give you $5.00 to take me up this .creek to the whis key still.” Boy: “Okay. Gimme the five.” Officer: “Oh, I’ll pay you when we return.” Boy: “Mister, you hain’t a-comin’ back.” Agonizing Eczema (Salt Rheum) No rest, day or night, for thoflo afflicted with that awful skm dis- ease, eczema, or salt rheum aS it is commonly called. .The intense burning, itching and smarting, especially at night, or when the affected part is exposed to strong heat, or hot water, are almost unbearable, and relief is gladly welcomed. To get rid of eczema it is neces sary to have the blood cleansed by the use of a thoroughly reliable blood medicine such as Burdock Blood Bitters which during the post <50 years has met with great success in relieving sueh diseases by its blood .cleansing and purifying properties. Tlio T. Milburn Co., Ltd., Toronto, Ont. The reporter wrote it “bell” but the compositor garbled it as usual, the proof-reader didn’t catch it, so we read it in the paper “The bride and groom received congratulations standing in the shadow of a large wedding bill.” Mt Mt Mt Self-consciousness is, like jea lousy, only another form of vanity. Other folks are not nearly so con cerned in you as you try to make yourself believe. Mt Ms * And on the other hand, some men cause us to detest certain virtues. # if: tk SENATOR GLUM TELLS US— I have mouthed many political policies in the past, some of which I really did believe in myself........ some I uttered with my tongue in my cheek. But this one I say in all earnestness and seriousness and from the deepest feeling of patriotism for my country: Bossism and gang rule must be effaced from our cities before 1942 or we will have such a political upheaval in this country that many men in high places will be blasted out of politi cal office forever. The Canadian electorate are slow to become aroused........are patient and long- suffering—but the handwriting on the wall says the folks back home are ‘fed up’ with dishonest machine politics. And I don’t mean per haps. Me Ms Ml My Lover I’d chase all care From thy dear head, And smooth thy hair, Black, brown or red. I’d kiss the furrows ■Fore’er away, Caress thine eyes, Black, brown or gray. And all thy cares Would I then rout, My lover, cute, Tall, stylish, stoat. For thee, great love Had then begun, My lover fair, (If I had one.) —Spinster Sue. M: Ms Mi “What did you work at last?” “Draftsman in an architect’s of fice.” “Oh, one of the under-drawers, eh?” Mt # Mt A man with whom we have no desire to become acquainted:....... is the fellow who was very disturb ed because the carriages got mixed at his wife’s funeral, and remark ed: “I knew the day wouldn’t pass without some unpleasant incident.” Mi M-’ M< (Somehow or other, we always get back to the opinion that empty pews are the res.ult of empty sermons. Mt M: Mt t t...........what we need in this coun try is more young people who will say ‘Good Morning’ instead of ‘Good Night’ when they see the sun rise. M« Mt M> Don’t Let the Whale Yarn Jonah You A boy boarded an excursion stea mer. Every bench and camp chair was occupied. So the boy devised a trick: “Seen the whale?”’ he be gan asking the excursionists near him, “It’s tied to the pier on the other side.” His whale story was laughed at. but he kept on repeating it. One by one, the passengers got up and crossed over. The boy got a seat.. Soon, he could have had a hund red seats, for at last, the whale story had got in its work........every body had hurried off to see the whale—they didn’t want to miss it. The boy sat alone for some time. Finally, he hopped up, and rushed to the other side of the boat mut tering: “Gosh, maybe there IS a whald* there after all.” * ifr * Pert ami Pertinent “A capacity for self-pity is one of the last thing that any woman sur renders.” ....And, knowing the ladies’ hus bands as we do, somehow, we can’t blame them. “Emerson was right. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.” ....meaning, re-election? “I have always believed the people are entitled to know a public official’s views.” ......more especially, perhaps, When he ‘views with alarm.* “Paper currency is covered with germs....” ....to which we reply, ‘we are very well, thank you’. —Oley Okeydoke “LET OUT” That’s what they’re saying of a young fellow of our acquain tance. He had put in five years in one of our big financial insti tutions. For a while he did well. One promotion followed another. Then came these words “he was let out.” You see, he got a car before he could afford it. He fell in love before his business beard was grown. He philandered when he should have been studying. He was warned. But he kept on. Now he’B let out and down at knee and heel, too big for the back of ma’s hairbrush and too old foi1 dad's boot and no inducement to the business world who have small use for the young man who has been let out. * Ml * * * * * * “ENDURE HARDNESS” Terrible is the only word to describe what England is endur ing these days. First of all Germany set out to break the spirits of England by desultory bombing of her homes and resources. Her plan for the last three weeks has been to assault one city after the other with the idea of utterly demolishing those cities. No church is spared for its history or its sanctity. No college is respected for its contribution to the sum of human knowledge, no hospital es capes because of its tender ministrations to the sick and broken, no home goes free because of its love and shelter, no manufacturing plant escapes because of its service to humanity. The aim is to sweep England clean of all that she stands for as a man wipes a dish and turns it upside down. The spirit of wanton destruction on the part of Germany is fanned by the winds of the nether world. Nothing that the Pharaoh of the Oppression ever devised is equal to the jungle nature of the Hun. Nero and Domitian at their worst were an afternoon pink tea in comparison with Gehenna of modern Germany. Mi Ms Mi M: Mi Mi * Mi NO CUSTODIERS, NO GAMBLING RESORTS, NO BEVERAGE ROOMS We have just had a letter from a young man who is receiving his share of promotions “over there”. He tells us two things. First he states in the clearest terms that he has seen no place yet, and he has been places, that compares with Canada for all around advantages. Secondly, he tells us that there are all sorts of tempta tions to do this and that nasty thing but that he is getting set against those things a little more firmly every day and adds: “I got started that way at home.” So there you are. He adds in an other sentence that he is glad the local Y.P. is forging, ahead. And there you are again. A good home training and a real setting up in Y.P. work puts brains and backbone into the system and opens the door for getting on. The same youfig fellow has been given a first class course in physical training under an R.C.M.P. officer. He says it is severe, but that puts vim into one. Do we not see in all this the best ans wer to the gambling resort and beverage room? Those who go to those places are not graduated from homes where dad and mother are onto their job nor from 'Sunday 'Schools where the right sort of people keej) a business eye on what is going on. Mi M< Mi Mi * Mi Mi Mi Whom the gods destroy, they first make blind. That’s what the ancient Greeks used to say. Will not a whole lot of Canadians consider the significance of this remark. Without belittling what Canadians already are doing, we have no hesitation in calling upon all who can do anything in the way of thought or action to strengthen the hands of Britain. We must be up and labour ing now. .We cannot praise too highly the work of the Red Cross. Those women who toil up to 'the limit of human endurance that no soldier or his dependents should suffer deprivation are the very lifeblood of our endeavour. But war materials are needed. Plane3 are needed. Explosives must be in the hands of our fighters. Germany, as a fighting power .must be destroyed. Munitions with military skill alone can do this. Germany listens to no reason. Her verbal agreements are as idle breath to her. She has cast honour to the winds. Before she can enter the Canaan of peace she must journey; through the wilderness. Barren rocks and shifting sand and biting thirst must be her portion before she can eat the grapes of Eschol. Canada must realize this and get down to war-winning in blood red earnestness. Germany must be un done or the liberties of the world will become the awful sarcasms of the world. Parlour frippery must be replaced by the active service uniform. ******** ANOTHER SIDE We hear a good deal about the wet canteen among our troops. With all our hearts we wish that there were no occasion for such complaints. Our private opinion is that the way of total abstin ence is the highest practice for all folk, civilian or military. There’s something precarious in the practice of liquor-drinking, either oc casional or moderate. We see gain and only gain in the dry can teen for the tented field. But what we do not like, and against which we utter our warmest protest is the hinting that all our soldiers drink liquor or the hint that the majority of them have fallen victims of this habit. There are young men and women in Civic life who make a beverage use of liquor. For reasons best known to themselves they go that way. On the other hand there are lots and lots of youth in civil and military life who never taste liquor fox’ beverage purposes. Home training and their own man hood attend to that for them. The soldier who drinks drinks be cause that is what he chooses to do. We have no case in which a youth is compelled to drink liquor. If such a case is known it should be reported and attended to by court martial. Let it not be forgotten that Canadian soldiers everywhere have won the ad miration of the world. iA band of drunks never won a reputation so much to be desired. Drunkenness among our soldiers may well be regarded as the exception. Mr * * Mi * * Mt M: .Some idea of the problems of the nations at war may be had from a serious contemplation of the progress being made by those sitting in the seats of the mighty re the North End Bridge of this good town. Quite a lot of water has run over Niagara Falls since the old bridge was gathered to its forbears. And still no structure accommodates the folk coming to do business with our merchants. Word comes that the new bridge may or may not be in its place by next February. Suppose Hitler found a bridge down, a bridge such as our former North End Bridge we moan. What a problem that good man would have on his hands. Why, his whole army would be held up warming their heels for months on end! Of course they would. Hitler might fret and Jerries might fume while poor waiting Goehring stood dangling bonnet and plume, but that bridge could not and would not be built, no matter what took place or went by the board, or something like that. What our Ontario bigwigs can’t do the Gerries and the Royal Engineers and such folk need not attempt. Yes indeed, we understand something of the problems of an army out on business bent, now that we see what Ontario authorities, those models of efficiency, cannot do when the bridging of a stream that a healthy- man can spit across taxes the resources of Canada’s richest province for months on end, we realize the magnitude of the task confronting the countries now at war, Let us not be impatient with the rulers of the Empire, The following is the oration giv- I en by Miss Denote Norminton of the Hensail Public School, who car ried off the public speaking cham pionship for Huron County in the senior class before the Huron Coun- . ty Council and also delivered it be fore the Exeter Lions Club. It is well worth reading and also clip ping for your scrap book. * * Judges, Mr. Chairman, Ladies and Gentlemen, Girls and Boys. This afternoon I shall speak on “The British Empire.” The sun never sets on the British Empire. That sounded very strange to us when we were just beginning to learn about the sun, and how it must always set at the end of the day. This British Empire must be a very wonderful place, we thought, if it is always day. As we grow to understand these things better it did not seem any the less won derful to know the real meaning of that often-repeated slogan and that while the sun was setting and the flag being lowered in our own part of the world the same sun was shining and the same flag was fly ing in a place still further west, and even beyond that, another Un ion Jack was just being raised tn greet the new day, And so on around the world. If we could actually travel with the sun we would have the thrill of seeing the Union Jack waving over almost a hundred separate lands and if all these lands could he placed together on a map we would find one-quarter of all the land” area of the globe in red, which is the Empire’s map color. In that area there would be over five hund red million people of all races, white, red, yellow, brown and black. How ever, this Empire of ours is not one solid mass, but is made up of widely separated countries and ter ritories, varying in size from Can ada of three and one-third million square miles to Gibraltar of only two square miles. British islands dot every ocean. The Empire ex tends from farthest south to farth est north, from east to west, girdl ing the globe with lands over which the Union Jack proudlyi floats. Every Kind of Climate Within the Empire there is every kind of climate from the hot humid air of the Guinea Coast to the clear and biting cold of Polar Lands. Ev ery type of plant, from the lowly moss and tundra of the north to the stately teak of Burma grows some where on British soil. Every kind of useful animal lives somewhere within its borders—the husky of the North—the camel of the Sahara, and many others both useful and valuable. Under the Union Jack live people of all religions. Chris tian. Jew, Mohammedan, Budhist and Hindu. Of these there are more Hindus than all other religions combined. There is also every de gree of culture from the lowest and most degraded savage to the high est type of civilization. Great Many Ways Now, although it is not always the highest mountain which is the most beautiful or the longest river the most useful, it is interesting to know that within the countries in red are to be found the highest mountain peak, Mt. Everest; one of the highest waterfalls which is in New Zealand and is 1900 feet high, or 11 times the height of Niagara; at Quebec is one of the longest bridges; at Port Arthur is located the world’s largest grain elevator The Prairie Provinces are one of the world’s greatest wheat produc ing areas. The largest share Of the world’s canned salmon comes from British Columbia; the longest straight-line railway, 300 miles without a curve, is built in Australia and the time clock for the whole world is set in the heart of the | British Empire at Greenwich, Eng. Supplies of All Kinds Provided Only a little over a year ago, anyone who had the time and money could have boarded a ship and taken a world cruise visiting each island, colony or dominion in turn. Now the Empire is perhaps too busy to entertain visitors, so we shall only skim across it to get an idea of our vast resources. Now, if ever, the Motherland needs supplies of all kinds, and we are safe in knowing that whatever is needed it can be supplied from some part of the British Empire. Wheat, an essen tial food, is produced in enormous quantities in the Canadian West and Australiar. Butter, cheese, fruit, meat, wool and hides in these same countries and also in New Zealand and South Africa; sugar, the energy food, in the West Indies and Mauri tius Islands. Great Britain has hex own coal and iron and gets other necessary minerals such as gold, copper and asbestos from Canada, South and West Africa and Aust ralia, Over 90 per cent of the whole world’s nickel came from On tario and Canada also supplies much of the aluminum, now so much needed for airplane production. Oil from Trinidad and Burma and rub ber from Ceylon and Malaya are valuable assets. Pulp wood, which has many uses, comes from New foundland. Hundreds of shiploads of these and other Empire products are steadily flowing to where they are most needed, in spite of the risks and dangers which the seamen face on every voyage. Unity of the Empire Other countries of the world have wondered at the strange ties which hold this commonwealth of nations so firmly together. It is scattered about the face of the earth in such a way that no mere force could pos sibly weld it into one if it were not for the spirit which binds it. But it has not always seemed so strongly united. There have been times when it has seemed as if the whole structure would fall apart at a single blow. Well, the blow has fallen, but not the Empire. Instead, like a great family, each member has rushed to do its share against a common enemy. Even India, with its religious troubles is sending enormous sums of money to sup port the mother country. We could spend a great deal of time explain ing our system of Empire govern ment and how it operates. One word will do, however, to describe it, and that word is “Democracy", the only form of government under which free people are willing to live. It may seem unusual that as a democracy we should have a rul er, a king. There is nothing strange about this to us as we know our King and Queen are democratic as any of their subjects and do every thing to help and encourage their people, whom they have refused to leave although theix- own lives are in constant danger. As the whole world knows our Empire is now standing alone against the ruthless enemyi of all democracies, an enemy who cares nothing for fair play or mercy or honour and who has sworn to crush religion and civil ization, and above all to destroy the British Empire. If we lose this fight we lose more than a war. We lose everything which our Empire builders have won for us in over 3 MONTHS ON BISCUITS AND MILK Woman’s Digestive Troubles Everyone who is subject to any form of indigestion should know of this woman’s experience^. Advice from one who has had such severe attacks is advice worth having. She writes;— “I suffered bom indigestion, gastritis and constipation, and was so very ill, I had (on medical advice) to live on soda biscuits and milk for three months. Well, a friend advised me to take Kruschen, and now I am pleased to say I am greatly improved. I can eat and enjoy a good meal without any painful after-effects, my skin is clearer—in fact, quite clear—and there is no sign of constipation. I would advise anyone suffering the same to take Kruschen.” —(Mrs.) M. R. Im, The immediate effect of the several salts in Kruschen is to stimulate your liver and kidneys to normal action and help to free your system of poisonous waste matter. Soon after you start on Kruschen you will find that you are able to enjoy your food without distressing after-effects. seven hundred years. But we shall not lose. Long ago, when Napoleon had conquered almost all was Eur- ope and Great Britain was left alone to carry on the fight, just as she is to-day, Wordsworth wrote these lines: “Another year! Anothex* deadly blow! Another mighty Empire overthrown! Aud we are left, or shall be left alone. The last that dare to struggle with the foe. ’Tis well! From this day forward we shall know That in ourselves our safety must be sought; That by our own right hands it must be wrought, That we must stand unpropped or be laid low. Mi’. Hitler says that we are beaten already but we do not know it. Mr. Hitler hasn’t found out yet that the British never do know when they are beaten, but will stubbornly fight on and on, even when there, seems no hope of winning; then, like the frog in the bowl of cream, sure enough, they come out on top. This is the spirit of the British people, a spirit which no dictator can crush and which, with God’s help, will bring our country through this most dangerous time and will keep our Empire what it is to-day. the greatest Empire the woi’ld has ever seen. Thank you. Yea....Scotch A grocer purchased one dozen chickens from a Scotch farmer for delivery the next day at eight o’clock in the morning. However, the Scotchman did not deliver them until five o’clock in the afternoon of the following day. When the grocer asked him why he didn’t bring the chickens at 8 o’clock in the morning as agreed, the 'Scotchman replied that it was impossible for him to do so because all of the hens had not finished laying until three o’clock that afternoon. iAnoctneft, to&uxo JUST LIKE OLD CHUM DEAD AND DISABLED ANIMALS REMOVED PROMPTLY Phone Collect: Seaforth 15; Exeter 235; Lucan 12 DARLING & CO. OF CANADA LTD. THE NEW 1941 PONTIAC All styled in the Torpedo manner, Pontiac for 1941 offers five series of cat's — the Fleetleader Standard, the Fleet leader Special, the De Luxe Six and Eight, and the Streamliner Eight. The new mo dels are graceful and arresting in appear ance, longer in wheelbase and designed to provide outstanding all-round per formance. Shown above is the striking new low priced Flectloader 4-door sedan