HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times-Advocate, 1940-10-24, Page 3SERMONS IN STONES
Down in Pickens County, Georgia
there used to >be a flat rock bear
ing across its face the painted in
struction;
TURN .ME OVER
A really curious person would
exert considerable energy and flop
over the stone slab, only to be
greeted 'by the jeering sign:
NOW TURN ME BACK AND LET
ME FOOL SOMEBODY ELSE
People came from miles around
to view this natural wonder; The
Talking Rock”. And, having view
ed it, they departed to inform
others of the interesting phenome
non . , . after being stung, the
first impulse is to sting someone
else.* * *
Did I ever - did-i-evers Great
Name Hunter - tell you about the
meanest man ip the world? No?
Well, it seems he was a musician
and pasted1 'his mother-in-law’s pic
ture on the .bass drum.* * Hi
The ant would be a better symbol
of industry if the market for ant
hills was a little more active. Being
busy isn’t the whole Edam cheese
of existence.* * *
Wish You’d Tell Me Department
Au automobile dealer in a Cen
tral Ohio town advertises his used
car department thus: ‘‘No down
payment to any working man of
reasonably 'good character.”
The italics are ours because we’d
like some reader to tell us just what
kind of character is a reasonably
good character. Being a column
paragrapher our character is not
good (so some readers tell us) ,
and we are far from being reason
able.
* * *
I have heard man complain of
the (badness of their memory - but
never of their judgment.
iff * Hf
I have grown old -
Wearied with applause
I have sung, 'by command,
Before old world monarchs.
Yet I’ll recall one song
'More poignant than all others:
The one I sang that night
In the long ago - for kiss.
—Queen of the Poccomos
* * *
A news report says they are plan
ning to build a gigantic roller skat
ing rink in Oklahoma City with a
seating capacity of 12,000. Seems
that they expect a lot of poor skat
ers to attend.* $ *
Retort Imprimis
Uncle Mose - our colored jani
tor - has a habit of talking to him
self. This is something annoying
when we have to work late at our
desk pounding out material for
this column. So one evening we
asked him why he talked with him
self, and he replied: “Fust, I like
to hear a smart man talk; and next
I like to talk with a smart man.”Hi * H:
A class in English was given the
task of writing four lines of drama
tic poetry. The results were various
and selecting the verse of an un
usually bright boy, the teacher
read:Hl fl fl
ACHIEVEMENT
“A boy was walking down the track
The train was coming fast,
The 'boy stepped off the railroad
track
To let the train go past.”
‘‘This verse is very well done,”
said the teacher, “but it lacks
drama. Try again, Johnny, and
make it more dramatic.”
Whereupon, in a surprising short
time, Johnny produced the follow
ing verse:
“A boy was walking down the
track,
The train was coming fast,
The train jumped off the railroad
track
To let the boy go past.”
Hi * *
Jiminy Crickets - your . . oh,
very well then, ‘our’ favorite pest -
dropped in while we had an office
full of company. (He always picks
the wrong time for a visit) And in
quired with well-feigned innocense:
“How can five persons divide five
eggs so that each will receive one
and one still remain in the dish?”
Oddly enough, no one could guess
the answer . . of course, we pre
tended an aloofness - made "out that
we were not playing . . so, just
before he left he said: “The fifth
one takes the dish with the egg.”
* * H:
WHAT IS PEP—
—it is that something that makes
race horses and .bird dogs restless
when inactive:
—it is that something that makes
one individual forge ahead when
ten others give up;
—it is that something in <a -man or
women which keeps alive the spirit
of enthusiasm for any undertak
ing.
If you can’t sing a note (neither
can we) - remember that laughter
is the sweetest music in the world.* Hi *
TODAY’S SIMILE: as serious as
a column paragrapher trying to
thing up an ending rhyme.* Hi Hi
SOMEBODY’S WRONG
Mrs. S. - who had taken the chil
dren out to the farm and spent a
very enjoyable two months visit
ing hex’ family, returned home re
freshed and ready for the ordeal
of getting the kiddies off to school
each morning — and — she really
would have ibeen supremely happy
but for one thing - the electric light
bill. It seems that Mr. S. had writ
ten in more or less detail how he
was spending each night during her
absence working very hard at home.
But alas and alack! The utilities
company gave him away when theii’
bill - covering two months’ service,
- read $1.19.
—Pent House Phil
* * *
Perhaps you too may have no
ticed that the people who mispro
nounce the big words are the ones
who use them most.
Hi if: *
If you would attain real happi
ness, never neglect an opportunity
to help the man who is really try
ing to help himself.
* * *
Little Nanny Netticoat
Bo the story goes -
Stood too long in one place
And so lost her pose.* * *
THE EXETER TIMES-ADVOCATE
...................................11 < ........................................I............ .. .............. ....... - I
E D IT 0 R f A L
Yes,, we note the snow.
* * * * * * * *
And now for a long pull, a hard pull and a pull all together.
********
Oh, well, guess the old overcoat is good for another winter.
********
Here's hoping that November may be the mildest and sun-shiniest
known to history.
********
That bright haze that spread over this good town the other
wintry morning "was a reflection of the smile on the countenance of
the coal men.
* * * * * * * *
THERE’S ANOTHER SIDE
We’ve heard too much talk about the roystering of our soldiers
in training. Every little scrape the size of a small sized Kitten is
blown upon till it assumes the proportions of a Bengal Tiger. We
wish that all our young men were docile and well mannered and
skilled in those arts so dear to Emily Post and her disciples, we don't
expect to find things working out that way. It is just as well to lis
ten to what one of oui’ townsmen who is not a strangex’ to men and
theii’ ways. “I was all through the regions of Camp Borden and I
didn’t see an improper act not did I hear a single oath.
Pretty good, that is when you recall that Camp Borden contains
about twenty seven square miles. But that is what we’d look for in
Canadian boys from Canadian homes and day schools and Sun
day schools. When these institutions fail to turn out healthy, sober,
clean living youth, we may fee sure that somebody’s been asleep on
his job.
*********
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1010
Yes, sir, we’ve got to hit twice for Hitler's once, knock twice as
hard when we’re at it.
* *** * ***
We like hose samples
enough to send us,
of sunshine the weatherman was good
* *** * ***
Look over the taters? That blight hope is playing hob with
many a potato bin.
******* *
Speaking of leaves, have you gathered 'em up and put them
aside for future reference?
******* *
Morale is a great thing fox’ a country, but it takes shells and
bullets to stop the enemy.
********
“I tell yoxx Bill’s doing fine in the arxny. He’s been promoted
to the guardhouse. Last week he won his C.B.”
********
Thanks, Mr. Weatherman, that sample of snow was of the Jack
Frost variety. Whexx we wish any more, we’ll not forget you.
********
Better put our brains in steep and anothex’ roll on the shirt
sleeves. This is likely to be a difficult winter. Better to cultivate
the habit of being content with necessary things.
* * * * * * * *
That German practice of shelling or bombing civilian homes
and machine gunning children and women and killing old men in
their chimney corners is detestable but it is not war.
* * ***** *
Britaixx learned lately that the Straits of Dover and the English
Channel are very narrow when it comes to war. Canada and the
United States are learning of the narrowness of the Behring Sea.
********
IT MUST BE FOUND
Western farmers cannot long endure the plight in which they
now find themselves. According to well authenticated reports those
farmers are enduring the severest hardships that invade not only the
pocketbook and make business credit an unknown quantity, but
which improverish the mind and destroy health. So pressing is
the need that the west simply cannot wait any longei’ for a 'remedy.
Weeks ago we suggested that the universities and technical schools
put their brains in steep and give aid in the way of telling the west
how its surplus products may be manufactured into goods of mar
ketable nature. Dr. 'Carver did this for the Southern States. Why
should not oui’ Canadian scientists come to the aid of the west?
The West must help herself, we are told, Tr*ue, but a drowning
man must help himself, but precious little can he do with
such sound avice till ways and means are provided to help his failing
strength. Soxueway or otliex* those western farmers must be given
hope; work provided for thexn that will not only give them some ready
cash, but which will prove of permanent value on their holdings and
in their community. The task is a difficult one, but it is the duty of
statesmen to overcome difficulty. We have indicated the task. It is
up to the government to get that task done. Meanwhile we suggest
church and state alike get over the practice of continuing the insane
policy of setting the less experiened to guide the inexperienced. Too
long has the west, ixi both church and state set the task of nation
building to mere boys and well meaning but untried youth. Too long
has the west been made the neck upon which men have stepped to
more lucrative things in the east. The western situation m'ust be
faced and adequately dealt with or the Dominion will have the worst
sort of appalling rural slum conditions, eating like social and
political cancer into her vitals. The skuggard policy invites financial
ruin, socal demoralization and political revolution.
CORBETT
CANADIAN MILLS
OPERATING FULL BLAST
Have an ideal. Picture it clear- I
ly in your mind. Strive for it. Will
it. Make it your amibition. Live
for it,. Pray for it and before long,
you will gain it.
All life is a prayer—a wish—a
hope—a struggle toward a given
goal. Every sincere and earnest
wish or prayer is answered.
As we continue to work for a
thing, think about it, fight for it -
we set in force supernatural powers
which attract and gravitate to our
selves the elements, influences and
conditions that ultimately mean
Achievement.
Painful Boils
Bad Blood the Cause
When boils start to break out on
different parts of tho body it is an
evidence that the blood is loaded up
with impurities. . .
Just when you think you are nd
of one, another crops Up to take its
place and prolong your misery.
All the lancing and poulticing you
may do will hot stop mote coming.
Why not give that old, reliable,
blood purifying medicine Burdock
Blood Bitters a chance to banish the
boils? Thousands have Used it for
this purpose during the past 60 year*.
Take B.B.B. and get rid of tho bad
blood and the boils too.
Thd T, Milburn Co., Ltd., Toronto, Onfc
TAIN’T FUNNY
Regular readers of this column
have seen occasional bits credited
to 42nd cousin. Well, he happens
to be a down the street neighbor’ of
ours and one day last summer he
invited your 'Column Paragrapher
to spend the day fishing.
We were to go in his car. Early in
the afternoon of the day before,
he had his gas tank filled, oil and
tires checked, and drove home.
Then he thought about water in the
radiator so attached the hose, rais
ed the hood and filled the radiator.
Thinking he might sprinkle the
la,wn after ‘sun down’ he left the
hose attached and forgot all about
it.
His son, aged 4, saw the hose
and the ca,r - managed to get the
cap off the gas tank and proceed
ed to play ‘gas station attendant’
pouring about a gallon of water
in the tank.
Early the next morning we start
ed on our fishing trip. About two
miles from home - out in the coun
try - the ear began to sputter and
‘died*. We had to be towed into
a garage and the gas drained. By
this time, it Was too late to go fish
ing that day.
‘Tain’t funny and there isn’t any
moral — it’s just a true story.* * *
Some girls are quite demure
Some are rather shy
Some of them may read this
So it’s time to say ‘Bye-bye.’
—the colonel
It gives a whole lot of decent folk a pain in the tummy to heax’
some folk telling the dread Supreme that we are equally guilty with
the Germans for the murdex’ of woxnen and children and helpless old
men.
********
Those plowing matches are occasions of good workmanship and
days of the renewal of old acquaintance. The veterans have a fine
time recounting the exploits of the mighty mexx of the old days, that
is of the days when men were men.
* ****** *
France has found that it would have been better fox’ hex’ to have
died fighting than to live kneeling. She is learning in the school of
bitter experience that Germany.has but one ambition as fax’ as France
is concerned and that amibition is to bleed her white. •
********
Hitler is taxing France at the rate of $8,00'0,000 pex’ day for
one purpose - the upkeep of the'army of occupation. How much he
is taxing the French for other purposes has not been revealed. The
French are finding out that the political fame comes very high.
* * * * * * * *
Let us get down to serious business in this thing of winning
the war, 'but let us not forget to put our trust in Providence. Re
member the storm that broke the Armada and the rain that delayed
Napoleon’s artillery actioxx at Waterloo. Men’s hammer breaks;
God's anvil stands.
* * * * * * * Hi
The new recruit was just through with his hay foot, straw foot
and was out oix his march around the many ways of Exeter. He was
tired, aftex’ following the plow all day. Do what he would, those feet
lagged and he grumbled “are we marching to Berlin tonight?” “Not
at your gait replied high authority. “Pick 'em up and 'be smart about
it!”
(Too late for last week)
Mr. Hector Murray called on
friends here last week.
Mr. and Mrs. Ted McPherson and
faxnily, of Toronto, spent the holi
day and week-end at their summer
home here.
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Hodgins and
family spent Friday with her par
ents, Mr. and Mrs. Ghas. Mason Jr.
Red Cross members held a success
ful sewing ixx Grace Church parish
hall recently, cutting out 23 gar
ments fox’ refugee work. They
have also planned a chicken supper
for November 12 th. Particulars
later.
Mr. and Mrs. Gordon Young and
Jean spent Sunday with her parents
Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Murray of
Thedford,
Mr. and Mrs. Garfield Steeper
spent Friday with Mr. and Mrs. A.
Rock, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Rock
and family.
Mr. Thomas Glenn had a narrow
escape from injury on Saturday
noon last when his car was ditched
east of Corbett. It was necessary to
have Mr. Gray from town to re
move it.
From figures released by the De
partment of Munitions and Supply,
mills and firms engaged in the
manufacture of personal equipment
for the fighting forces are operat
ing full blast. During a two-week
period 22,000 full battle dress uni
forms were produced, while 91,000
pairs of socks, 90,00'0 shirts, 40,-
000 sets of underweax’ and 69,000
pairs of boots were being turned
out,
The fellow whoxn your advertis
ing has fooled, never forgets.
CROP REPORT
The following is the final crop
report for 1940 as compiled by the
Bank of Montreal.
The year 1940 goes upon l’ecorrt
as a year of good crops in (Canada
as a whole and as a year of extra-*
ordinarily good crops in the Rrairia
Provinces, where the wheat yield
is the second largest in history and
may prove, when returns are com
plete, to be actually the largest.
To this general picture there have
been local exceptions, certain crops
in Ontario having been adversely
affected by cold, wet weather and
certain crops in British Columbia
by shortage of moisture during the
growing season. Fox- the Prairie
Provinces preliminary estimates
place this year’s total wheat crop
as slightly below that of the record
production in 1928. Grain is gener
ally of high grade and quality. The
Dominion Bureau of Statistics es
timates wheat production of the
three Prairie Provinces at 534,000,-
000 bushels, which is 71,481,000
bushels larger than the third es
timate of last year’s crop and com
pares with a ten-year average of
307,013,000 bushels. The estimate
average wheat yields by Provinces
follow: Manitoba, 20.2 bushels;
Saskatchewan 16.7 bushels, Alber
ta 23.4 bushels. The 1940 wheat
acreage in the Prairie Provinces of-
fxcally estimated at 27,750',000 ac
res, is the largest on record and is
more than 1,900,000 acres in excess
of last year. Production of coarse
grains is slightly higher than in
1939 and winter feed supplies are
generally sufficient. Production
of oats is estimated at 251,500,000
bushels and of barley at 89,000,-
000 bushels. Threshing is virtual
ly finished in Manitoba and Sask
atchewan. In Alberta operations
have been delayed by frequent rains
but threshing is now about 75 per
cent, completed. Wheat marketings
have been affected by Government
restrictions, but August 1 to Octo
ber 3 deliveries by farmers to the
country elevators totalled 156,724,-
000 bushels, compared with 259,-
19S,000 bushels in the same period
last year. In Quebec Province well
up to average yields are reported
of hay, grain, roots, apples, small
fruits, tobacco and maple products.
In Ontario the hay crop was heavy,
Fall wheat a good yield, and late
roots, except potatoes are promis
ing, but Spring grains were damag
ed by wet weathex’ at harvesting.
Small fruits were plentiful, but the
yields of most tree fruits, as well
as of corn and tobacco, were sub
stantially below average. In the
Maritime Provinces a fail’ to aver
age harvest of all the main staples
is generally indicated, with the ex-
ceptioix of apples will be a light
crop, owing to extensive damage
by storms. In British Columbia
the hay crop was heavy; yields of
tree fruits good and the crop of
tomatoes a record one; slightly be
low average were the grain, root
and vegetable crops.
Parents are people who use the
slang of yesteryear to scold theii’
offspring for using the slanguage
of today.
* fl *fl fl * *
It sounds very fine to say that we are all responsible for the
war. We do not see that we had anything to do with bombing St. (
Paul’s Cathedral or Buckingham Palace or with rendering tens'
of thousands homeless oi’ with killing old men and women and slau
ghtering little children on their way to school. We lay the blame
squarely at the door of Germany and their wicked leaders.
***** * * *
IRON NEEDED FOR SOME BLOOD
It’s Just asking too much to ask some of us to love those folk
who try to demolish Westminster Abbey and who coxnpleting thelx’
job bespatter it with the brains of little children. David didn’t
act that way with Goliath, but David gave us the twenty third psalm.
It’s high time for some church people io road lhe Book of Revela
tions.
********
A SIGN OF THE NEW DAY
This is the sign of a new era, those girls competing at the plow
ing matches. Shades of oux’ grandmothers. But, you see the grand
mothers were efficient with the axe and the old Queen Ann musket.
You just can't keep the women from helping on a bit as occasion re
quires with, cool judgement and steady strong hands. Their ways
are past finding out.
********
SHE DOESN’T HIDE
Britain tells the world the facts of the case regarding the wound
ing of London. Foreign correspondents are allowed to go where they
will and to tell what they see and hear. She is not afraid of the
facts. Her Prime Minister told the people of the dark days that
were coming. He concealed nothing of the coming dangers'. His
people recall that he told of ultimate victory and the Britishers be
lieve that he knew whereof he spoke.
***** * * *
' OUR best respects
Oux* hand goes out to Mr. and ;Mrs. John Aillson on the occasion
of the Golden Jubilee of theii’ wedding. All of us know them and all
of us wish to be present at their Diamond Jubilee celebration of this
happy event. They have been good farmers, the most hospitable of
entertainers In their lovely home, good neighbors and firm friends
“May titer lum keep blithely reekin’
Till they’re aul enough to dee;
May the moose ne’er turn from their meal poke
With a tear drap in its ee.”
Public UTILITIES and BANKING co-operate:
Modern banking is assisted by electric power,
light and the telegraph and telephone, while
these great benefactors of mankind have grown
up with banking assistance.
The Bank of Montreal has made its important
contribution to the rise, development and con
tinuous operation of Canadian utilities. And
tens of thousands of their workers enjoy the
safety and convenience of our banking services.
Serving Canadians and their industries in every section of the community,
we invite you to discuss YOUR banking requirements with us.
BANK OF MONTREAL
"A bank where rmala accounts are Welcome"
Exeter Branch: W. J. FLOYD, Manager
I
MObERN, ENPJERTENCEb BANKING the Outcome of Ytars^ Successfiii Operation