The Exeter Times-Advocate, 1940-03-21, Page 3THE EXETER TIMES-ADVOCATE
LACONIC
En i tit Bit D I A I.
The unknown quantity in .all esti
mations and guesstimations is the
littl two-letter word: IF,
With a good, sharp pencil and the
back of an old envelope, it is pos
sible to figure out many wonderful
results, such as a pair of rabbits
multiplying into 1,250>,000 in four
little two-letter-.word: IF,
When Philip of Macedon wrote
to the Spartan magistrates, “If I
enter Laconia, I will level Lacedae
mon to the ground,’’ the ephors
wrote in reply a single word: “IF”
And this, by the way, is an excel
lent example of Spartan brusque
ness and sententiousness of speech,
which gave rise to the term, “lacon
ic,”:J: »!« $
‘The post of duty is the post of
.honor.♦ v 9
Genius is the shadow of endeavor.
* * *
Happiness shared is the only hap
piness.* * *
He has hard work who has noth
ing to do.
* * *
Ijovo That Passeth Understanding
Prime Minister and Mrs, William
Gladstone were considered models
of marital bliss. One evening wlien
they attended a reception in honor
of the Prime Minister, Gladstone
stood in the gallery while his wife
stood below talking with some la
dies. Finally a question arose in
the conversation, and the ladies
could not settle it. Then one of
them said; “Well there is One above
us who knows all things, and some
day He will make this plain to us.”
“Yes,” said Mrs. Gladstone glanc
ing up to the gallery, “William will
be down in just a moment, and he’ll
tell us all about it.’
* * *
A philologist who has been inves
tigating the speed at which various
languages are spoken reports that
French is the most rapid language in
the world - with 3.50 syllables a
minute. Japanese comes next, with
310 syllables per minute, and then
German with 2'50. English is com
paratively, a slow drawl, with only
220 syllables a minute. But the
slowest speakers of all are certain
Polynesians, who utter only 50 syl
lables a minute in their everyday
conversation.
* * *
Emerson .said: “Good Nature is
stronger than tomahawks.”
* ♦ *
Two shining dots of lights gleam
ed on the dark highway ahead of
Patrolman Riggs, of Anadarko,
■Okla. When he came up with them,
he discovered a negro with a wa
gonload Of youngsters, but no lights.
“Why don’t you have a tail-light?”
asked Riggs.
‘Well, one of the children always
holds our houn’ dog on the back of
the wagon and the houn’s eyes shine
like a lantern,” replied the Negro,
“I don't have no accidents.”
GOOP TIMBER
The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
That stood out in the open plain,
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil,
Who never had to win his share,
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow in ease;
The stronger wind, the tougher trees
The farther sky, the greater strength
By sun and cold, by rain and snows, [
In tree or man, good timber grows.
Where thickest stands the forest
growth,
We find the patriarchs of both,
And they hold converse with the
stars
Whose .broken branches shows the
scars
Of many winds and much of strife
This is the common law of life.
. * * *
When It’s a Sin to Grin
,So much has been printed about
the advantage of presenting a smil
ing face in business that even the
undertaker and the drug store clerk
have begun to wear a smug smirk
during working hours.
No inference is to be drawn from
the fact that these two occupations
are mentioned in the same sentence.
Had the doctor also appeared in this
company, then there would have
been a dramatic triangle, capable of
producing real tragedy.
Not even the mortician is essen-
ital to the real application of this
charge - that a smile may go too
far and prove unprofitable.
For example, few young fathers
are courageous enough to invest
publicly in a half-dozen nursing
bottles, when the pasty-faced pur
veyor behind the drug store counter
listens to the specifications with a
gargoyle smile.
All of us have some obscure patent
postrum, varying widely except in
alcoholic content, upon which un
limited faith is reposed. It does not
add greatly to the purchaser’s pleas
ure to have his pet potion pushed
across the counter by a plastered
haired pill-roller, wearing a starched
coat and a sardonic smile.
The druggist’s clerk should look
grave, profound and possibly sym
pathetic; but a grin at the patent
medicine counter or prescription
case is intolerable! To wear a smile
that is easily translatable into:
“What fools these mortals be,” is.
to slap ready money in the pocket
book.
* * *
The police of Zagreb, Yugoslavia,
require violators of traffic ordi
nances to pull to the side of the
road and deflate all tires. The num
ber of accidents on the streets of
this city has fallen considerably.
* * *
Your Next Visit to
TORONTO
Try
Hotel Waverley
Located on Wide Spadina Ave.
at College St.
Easy Parking Facilities
Convenient to Highways
Rates Single - - $1.50 to 52-50
Double : - $2.50 to $5.09
Four to Room, $5.00 to $6.00
Close to the University,
Parliament Buildings,
Maple Leaf Gardens,
Theatres, Hospitals,
Wholesale Houses, and
the Fashionable Retail
Shopping District.
A. POWELL, President
Stop that Tickling
In the Tliroat
That tickling in the throat is most
distressing, and is caused by a cold
settling in the throat.
•The dry, hard cough,not only keeps
you in misery all day long, but also
prevents you getting a good night ’s
sleep.
What you heed to relieve this
tickling cough is ."Dr. Wood’s Norway
Pine Syrup. This valuable prepara
tion is composed of the most sooth
ing and healing expectorant barks
and herbs with Which is combined
the virtues of tile world-famous
Norway pine tree,
When you ask for 4‘Dr. Wood’s”
.see that you get it,
& Milburn Co., Ltd., Toronto, Ont,
SIMPLIOITUDES
—when a man tells his wife how
bad he used to be, he isn't confess
ing - he is bragging.
—modern innovations have produc
ed a young generation which is never
■happy unless going fast or making a
noise - or, sleeping all morning.
—if you want to get a pretty good
idea of how many real friends you
possess, sit down and count up how
many there are to whom you feel
friendly yourself.
—imagination was given to man to
compensate him for what he is not,
and a sense of humor was provided
to console him for what he is.
* * *
MODERN AMBITION
“And what are you going to be
when you grow up?*’
“Well, after I’ve been President
for a while to please mother, and a
lawyer for a while to please Dad,
I think I’ll be flyer.”* * *
Vision is the most important of
all senses to the human race, but
scent serves as the eyes of the ani
mal kingdom-
In some instances animals are
able to tell more by scent alone
than any human can tell with all
five senses combined, assisted by
every known mechanical device,# # sj:
Each man is an oracle to someone.* * *
Believe in and bet on the man
who does his best.
* * *
An Arab proverb says: “One ear
is worth ten thousand tongues?’
, * * *
Wise nlen learn front fools,
* * *
There is snow upon the leaves
But soon I know,
Violets will feel the urge
To grow.
—the colonel
A military becapped blockhead remains a blockhead.
* * * * * * * *
Specially fateful is the voting on the next election day.
********
When Cauadan voters think, they in the main think right.
* * * * * * * *
Thank you, old Mr, March, for those occasional glints of sunshine.
* * * * * * * *
For the third month in the year, March iiut up a stiff brand of
winter,
* *******
Prefixing a political title to incompetence does not change the
incompetence.********
There’s nothing like a good covering of snow to preserve the
fertility of the farmers' fields.********
The little democracies are finding out that unless they hang
together that they’ll hang separately.********
Has the day come when soldiers find it their part to fight and
bleed and die, while it is the part of their governments to surrender
what the sword has defended?, *** *****
The Finnish soldiers told their politicians that they had no in
tention of recognizing a peace that was not in harmony with their
efforts on the battlefield. They have no intention of allowing the
politician to lose what their blood had supported. Too often the pol
itician plays a game while citizens sweat and sacrifice.********
“If Canada is attacked, the United States will come to her res
cue,’ we fondly say. Should Canada be attacked the United States,
very properly would have other fish to fry. It’s the unexpected that
takes place these days. ;So let us get down to building that super
air force in grim and deadly earnest and quit talking about playing
the game. We’re not school boys and should put away childish
things.********
THAT HOG CHOLERA
The outbreak of hog cholera in some portions of tlie province
is just too bad. ‘Some one blundered and blundered seriously. How
ever that many be, it is the duty of all concerned to get rid of the
disease. We’ are informed that the disease is always with us, but
some parties have a way of not reporting it. Such* a practice is alto
gether to the bad and simply must be eradicated and the parties
practicing the concealment punished without mercy, Anything short
of so doing imperils the industry upon which so much of the prosperity
of the farming community depends. The community cannot afford
to have its welfare sacrifice! to meet the meanness of an individual.******* *
LIVELY STEPPING
Premier Hepburn has one .quality that fits him for public life.
He can step lively. Witness his action when his provincial secretary
resigned. The two men got together and adjusted their differences
and promptly proceeded to carry on. This is precisely as it should
be, When he believed that things were going badly at the training
camp at St. Thomas, he immediately let those in authority know
about the situation and proceeded to do all in his power to< get
things cleaned up. That’s the sort of thing we need just now. We
suppose there are times when a cabinet should spend weeks trying to
dance on the pinheads of political .niceties. .Judging by his actions
Mr. Hepburn has small respect for such humbug and we agree with
him.********
CANADA’S NEED
Canada’s immediate need is a super air .force. The ordinary air
fighting machine simply will not meet the occasion. The German or
Russian airman who can cross the Atlantic will make short work of
the ordinary warplane, no matter how cleverly handled. What we
need is the airplane that is superior to anything that our enemies
can place in the air, manned by flyers that surpass all others in cour
age, initiative and in every other fighting quality. Nothing but the
best machines manned by the best men will anything like meet the
threatening peril. Years ago this paper spoke of ’the tim§ when
enemy shells might be falling in Halifax and Vancouver and urged
‘ the building of super airships. We knew then and we know now
whereof we spoke. Others spoke in the same warning note. Mean
while far too many Canadians are as those who dream.* * ***** *
IT’S MAGNIFICENT. IT’S NOT WAR
“So,” said a French military critic on reading the account of the
“Charge of the Light Brigade.” ;So say we as we read of some of
the carryings on of rulers in high places, at the present hour. Britain
and’her Allies are making some fine speeches. That is magnificent,
but it is not war. It is all very nice for our armies to be held in
check and to have said of them “the morale of the men is splendid,”
but it is not war. It is cheering to read as Allied ship after ship is sent
to Davy Jones’ Locker “Our sailors are as dogged as ever.” It’s all to
the good for country after country to go down before German and
Russian brutality and to hear our statesmen say in face of such dis
asters “We’re determined to fight on to the bitter end.” .But it’s
not war, and well does the plain man know it. It is all very well
for Canadians to cherish the noble thought “It is better for us to
have an election than to waste time in bitter discussion i'll parliament,
in a discussion that would take us nowhere. AIL that may be true,
but why should Canada’s parliament waste any time when the Hun
is far nearer Canadian gates than we care to admit? It may be all
right for our Canadian leaders to lie back in their “lazy boy” chairs
and to tell us that we are bound to win, though we do not approve
this do-nothing ineffective attitude. The Empire has a tough row to
hoe. We’re not playing a game. We're at war, a war that is getting
nearer our shores every day, as this little paper has said over an
over again for years back.********
THERE’S MONEY IN IT
The Exeter merchant who likes to make a little money is getting
ready for the tourist traffic of the coming summer. We have no idea
that the European war will be over for months to come. We are
quite sure from reliable information that the tourist traffic of the
United .States will on that account be directed towards Canada. Why
should not Exeter take advantage of this traffic? Many shoppers
cherish the opinion that things may be bought at a lower price ilp
the smaller places such as Exeter. Why should not the tourist learn
that Exeter can and will meet him on this ground, without the sacri
fice of .quality? Exeter does this very tliijng, but the tourist does
not realize this important fact. The tourist looks for comforts when
he shops and greatly appreciates parking facilities. If he can get
efficient repairs and oil and gasoline as he waits, all the better.
Exeter has the business men who know .how to meet this situation.
Roadsigns and windowdressing and good salesmanship and co-opera
tion among service stations and stores and restaurants will bring
many a dollar to Exeter this summer. It must not be forgotten
that salesmen at the gasoline station often sells or stultifies a whole
town. Dollars don’t blow into any merchants’s till. Prosperity does
not blow in with the wind. They cojne from a judicious combination
of advertising of the town’s advantages in trade, in courtesy and
good-will. i
********
LET’S TAKE THE HINT
A few years ago We were told that if we adopted the Russian way
of carrying on business there would be no shortage of clothing or of
any of the necessities of life. .
Events have proven the utter fallaciousness of the Russian
theory, Want of fuel, want of meat, want of vegetables, want of
coffee, want of nearly every necessity, to say nothing of the comforts
of life, characterise that large country. The individual was told that
the less he rustled on his own behalf and the more minutely he obey
ed his leaders, the better it would be for him. lie heeded what he
was told and neither thought nor toiled in his own behalf. Mentally
and physically he became a slave and now he lives like a slave, feeds
aS a slave and is mentally and spiritually a slave. So much for the
methods so loudly espoused twenty-five years ago and so confidently
recommended to Canadians is these perilous times. When the brains
are out the man is dead. When the average man ceases to aspire,
anything disastrous is sure to take place. Let it not be forgotten
that Russia already has cost tilth country millions upon millions of
dollars. As the last century closed and this century opened, Canadian
universities assured their graduates that if they were to amount to
anything they must go to Germany to have the finishing touches pro
perly added. Forty years of bitter experience have proven the folly
of such advice, though wo still have a few Alleged educators who mis
lead their pupils by teaching outworn and discarded German ideas
and inculcating German ideals. The pinching want that stalks Ger
man city and countryside illustrate the folly of the German economics
in theory and practice.
PIQNEER OF THE WEST DIES
The following obituary was copied
from the Moose Jaw, Times-Herald,
and refers to the death of a brother
of Mrs. Dalrymple, of Chiselhurst,
Many friends gathered on Thurs
day afternoon in St. Andrew’s
Church, United Church of Canada,
to pay a last tribute to the memory
of Archibald Getty, pioneer farmer
of the Archydal district, who died
at his home in Moose Jaw Monday.
The simple ceremony was conduct
ed by the Rev. Geoffery Glover.
“Crossing the Bar” was sung by
Dr. F. C. Harwood, accompanied by
Francis Btevenson, organist of St.
Andrew's United Church. Interment
at the Rosedale cemetery.
Pallbearers, all nephews of the
deceased were Archie Getty, Joseph
Getty, Geo. Getty, James Getty, Ar
chie Dalrymple and Geo. Dalrymple.
Masonic rites were also conducted
by officers of Moose Jaw Lodge No,
3 A.F. & A.M. of which the deceased
was a member. He also was a mem
ber of the Ancient Order of Work
men.
Archibald Getty was born at Ham
ilton, Ontario, March 16th, 18.59 and
at the age of 23 left his birth-place
to take <up a homestead in the
Moose Jaw district in 1882 as one
of the first residents in this area.
In the fall of 1882 when the 'Can
adian Pacific Railway reached
Moose Jaw, he assisted in laying the
right-of-way across the wheat
country with the pioneers of the
district, A familiar figure among
the early settlers, he also assisted
in building snow-sheds and bridges
through the Canadian Rockies.
During the Riel Rebellion, he
freighted between Moose Jaw and
Clarke’s Crossing near Saskatoon.
He retired from active farming in
1920 and had lived since that time
in this city. He died at his residence
1142 Clifton avenue, Moose Jaw. He
was predeceased fifteen years ago
by his wife Margaret Dalrymple.
To mourn his loss Mr.'Getty leaves
one son, Robert, of Archydal and
five daughters Miss Bell Getty, Mrs.
Frank McDonald and Mrs. M. Yeo
man, of this city; Mrs. Richard Sand
ers, Los Angeles and Mrs. Walter
Reid, Saskatoon; one brother Thos.
Getty and two sisters, Mrs. Arm
strong and Mrs. Dalrymple also a
number of friends and relatives in
Western Ontario.
i
THURSDAY, MARCH 21st,, 1940
THE FARM
f
I see you’re doing a lot of work,
Henry, on the old homestead and
about the farm. Did you come into
a legacy?”
“No sir, I got a Home Improvement
Loan from the Bank of Montreal.
A simple matter— no fuss or bother.
seasonal incomes repayment may be made in other
convenient periodic instalments. Ask for our folder.
BANK OF MONTREAL
ESTABLISHED 1817
lank. wltefie, dmcdl acco-witd cUie welcome*
Exeter Branch: W. H. MOISE, Manager
“What’s making you look so
angry?”
“Nothing much, I cut myself with
a safety razor, burned myself with
a safety match, and nearly got run
over while reading a safety first
notice.” —Sun Dial
The handshaking pest accosted
the celebrity: “How are you, old
man?” 'boomed the nuisance. “Say
I haven’t seen you for nearly two
years/’
“True, true,” said the ■celebrity,
“mighty good of you.”
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