HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times-Advocate, 1939-03-02, Page 3THE EXETER TIMES-ADVOCATE THURSDAY, MARCH 2nd,
LIFE —> AN OPPORTUNITY
Life isn’t so bad. Trials there*
must be; disappointments are bound
to come; trouble has a habit of
bunching itself occasionally, and yet
isn’t it a glorious adventure just to
be alive and breathing and sensing
and experiencing and struggling and
hoping and loving?
Just think how uninteresting it
must be to be dead, And then, con
sider the opportunities there are for
making the world a better place be
cause you are in it and part of it.
What are you doing with these
opportunities? Ignoring them? .Going
through life hitting on two cylinders
—or climbing its hills with all of
your power of ambition and deter
mination turned on pnd working to-
the limit?
There’s a lot of fun in doing
things. If you don’t believe it, just
you try to do absolutely nothing for
a while and see how tired you get
of loafing.
But you’ll never get any fun out,
of doing things unless you put some
joy into them. ‘Just be glad' is
more than a phrase—it’s the sec
ret of helpfulness. And unless we
are helpful, we can’t get very much
happiness out of life.* * *
It is figured that some of the
high-toned magazines cost women
$1,005 a year — $5.00 for the sub
scription and $1,000 to keep up with
the ads.
Those who live in glass houses
should be mindful of their silhouet
tes.* * *
Religion that does not conquer the
•fear of death is a failure.
* * *
While you are celebrating the or
der you took from your competitor,
be careful he isn’t celebrating two
he took, from you.* * •* ’
He who cannot win gracefully did
not deserve to win.
$ ♦ *
MY PA IS A DOCTOR MAN
My pa is a doctor man
And my ma said to me one day;
Your pa has gone and took a bran’
New baby across the way
To Mrs. Niles. And maybe dear
If you he good, an’ ast him to
He’ll bring annuzzer baby here
A bruzzer boy for you!
Well, when my pa coined home that
night
An’ put his slippers on, an’ said
He guessed he’d haf to go and write
A letter ’fore he went to bed,
I climbed upon his knee, an* then
I hugged an’ kissed him two or
free
An’ ast him if he wouldn’t en’
An’ git a bruzzer noy for me.
He said he would, an’ then he winked
His eye at ma, an’ coughed and
smiled
An’ aid he kind o’ somehow finked
.He wouldn’t diserpoint the child,
I don’t know what he meant; but ma
Just claspt his han’s, an' then she
said;
It was a splendid joke on pa
An’ then they sent me oft to bed.
unconsciously accorded leadership,
are firms that have continuously and
persistently brought their message
to you by systematic advertising..* W *
A. TRUE STORY
■During the Revolutionary War, t
commander of a little squad was
giving orders relative to a stick of
timber they were endeavoring to
raise to the top of some military
works. The timber went up very
heavily, and on this account the
leader was often heard in regular
cries: “Heave away! There she goes.
Heave Ho!”
An officer, not in military costume
was passing, and asked the comman
der why he did not take hold and
help a little. The latter, astonished
said: “.Sir, I am a corporal.”
“You are, are you,” replied the
officer, “I was not aware of that.”
Whereupon he dismounted, and lift-:
ed till the sweat stood in drops on
his forehead.
When finished, turning to the
commander, he said: “Mr. Corporal,
when you have another job such as
this, and have not enough men, send
for your commander-in-chief, and I
will come and help you again.”
The corporal was thunder-struck
— the non-uniformed officer was
George Washington.* * *
If you dislike your town, it is be
cause you have earned the dislike of
your town.* * *
PRANKISH PROBDEMS
Answer to Prankish Problem No
54 which appeared in this space
last week: 12 blocks.
Prankish Problem No. 55: Can you
divide 45 into 4 numbers so that
twice the first, half the second, the
third plus 2-and the four minus 2
the results will be the same?
(Correct answer will appear in this
space in our next issue.)
The height of fashion seems to
be knee-high.
* * *
Well anyhow, the sweet young
things can’t see the backs of their
necks.* * *
Freshman: “What causes blushing ?-
Professor: “A blush is a tempor
ary erythema and calorific efful
gence of the physiogomy, aetiologiz-
ed by the perceptiveness of the sens-
oriurn, in a predicament of inequili-
brity, from a sense of shame, anger
or other cause, eventuating in a pare
sis of the vasomotorial, muscular
filaments of the facies divested of
their elasticity, when they become
suffused with a radiance emanating
from an intimidated praecordia.”
* * *
I RIAL
But when the baby corned, you know
’Tfas just anuzzer girl and ma
Was just heartsick about it so
Sho had to stay in bed; and pa
He 'lowed the folks in babylan’
Was out of boys and so they sent
A girl . • or diin’t un’erstan’
The kind of baby what he meant.* * *
A well-known attorney was al
ways lecturing his office boy —
whether he needed it or not. 'One day
he chanced to hear the following
conversation between the boy and
the one employed next door: “How
much does your chief pay you?” ask
ed the latter.
“I get $1,500.00 a year. $5.00 a
week in cash and the rest in legal
advice.”* * *
memory test
If you recall from memory the
names of the business organizations
you most admire, those who are
making the most progress, you will
find that these firms which you have
Tired Out Before Day Half Over
Women who should be strong and
healthy become
worn only and arc unable to attuiu
to their household duties.
Some disease or constitutional dis
turbance has loft its mark m the
form of Shattered nerves, impover
ished blood, and an exhausted con
dition of the entire System,Women will dnd m Milburn s
Health and Nerve Pills the remedy
they need to supply food for the
exhausted nervo force, and one that
Will help them back to sound, per
fect health again.
Ho T. Milburn Co., Ltd., Toronto. Ont.
What Effect Does Advertisers Have
on the Price of a Product?
An inquiry was made in which 29
leading advertisers were asked to.
state what effect advertising had
on the price paid by the consumer
for their products, and on its stand
ard of quality.
5 firms replied that advertising
enabled them to reduce prices,
while the -quality remained the
same.
8 reported price and quality un
changed in spite of increased
costs of raw material and manu
facture.
11 companies stated that while the
price had not been changed, they
materially increased the value
received ’by the consumer for
his money.
5 concerns had both reduced the
price and improved the quality
of their goods.
The salesman who declares that
his article is “just as good as So-in-
So’s, but can be sold cheaper because
it isn’t advertised”, either does not
know the facts or misrepresents
them.* * *
A little boy was saying his go-to-
bed prayers in a very low voice —
so his Mother whispered: “I can’t
hear you, dear.”
And the small one answered: “I
wasn't talking to you.”* * *.
It is sometimes overlooked that we
live in a chemical world. Water un
der a bridge is just as chemical as
when put in a bottle with a nice
monogram of H20, It is always dif
ficult to think of one’s food or one’r
desk as being chemical because we
somehow have the idea that unless
it is a particularly marked bottle on
the shelf of a chemical laboratory, it
is not chemistry.* * *
‘Try’ rhymes with ‘shy’,
As does 'solemn* With ‘Column’-—
But gracious me, Oh, my—
What other word rhymes with
‘column’?
THE 00L0NE|D
Like Wellington's Guards, Mitch is up and at 'em.********
Hitler is grieving because Britain is arming. We wonder why.
********
The Exeter Groundhog greatly appreciated the gift of a warm
ing pad supplied by the Exeter Eligible Maidens.********
Those fellows who are eager to abolish municipal and provincial
goverments have a fine example of that sort of thing in Newfound
land,
********
Those dictators of Europe evidently think that the camel who
got his head into his friend’s tent know a very good principal to
act upon.********
The Japs made an occasional apology to other nations. Outside
of that they are having their own way in about everything they
undertake,********
Why is it that a February rain is especially cold and misery
engendering when it comes on a -Sunday? We were out in one and
we know.
********
Winter is very fine. There is something noble about the storm .
and grave austerity of a cold, sunshiny day. Just the same we’ll be
glad to see the flowers of May.
********
With its shivers and its watery eyes and bubbling nose and its
ringing ears and its sneezing and coughing and prescribed remedies
a cold can provide a program of about the most varied and engaging
entertainment as anything we know about.********
THAT FRUIT-TREE
At a meeting of well-meaning .people held to consider ways and
means of aiding folk in a tight financial corner, it was suggested
that each family in distress be given a fruit tree to plant in its back
yard. By this method the family, it was alleged, would be supplied
with fruit.
Ask almost any farmer about this, if you want some real in
formation. He’ll tell you that it will be 12 to 14 years before any
fruit will be forthcoming, that is if the tree escapes the hazards of
the George Washingtons and their little hatchets to say nothing of
the visits, nocturnal and otherwise, of jack rabbits and their imi
tators. When blossoms appear there will be the attentions of Jack
Frost who while he may not always wither blossoms, has a way of
rendering them non-productive. Then there will be fungus1 and
beetle and worm that make fruit growing one long nightmare.
Worst of all, there will be the sneak thief who toils not nor spins but
who takes the fruit of another’s toil.********
BOUND TO COME
We have just heard of a deputation from a right tight little
town who waited on a railroad executive begging them not to remove
their railroad. “Give us sufficient business to make the road pay
and we’ll not only leave the railroad where it is but we’ll improve
our railroad facilities” was the quiet reply.
Not so very long ago folk were calling railroads and all their
works by very ill names. They’re not doing that sort of thing any
more. They have come to see that railroads are mighty costly af
fairs that have not a way of .paying big dividends. Indeed, a lot of
railroads need handouts from the governments if they are to carry
on at all. Lately we have been working against the railroads, in
stead of freighting our goods, we truck them. Instead of traveling
< by trains we use the autocar. ILittle by little the stream of money
that trickled into the railroad till has been drying up till the rail
road executive has said “Tha't and that branch line does not pay
nor it is likely to pay. We’d better close it up.” A railroad lives
by patronage as surely as old Dobbin lives on oa.ts.,(.****!*«*'■*
ARE MINISTER’S SOFTIES?
(Folk used to divide all mankind into three classes, men, women
and preachers. This division was made because ministers were,
looked upon as notoriously poor business men. To this day in fi
nances ministers are first on the sucker list as far as investments
are concerned. All -of which cause us to raise the question asked
at the head of this article. Here is an example we -came across'
the other day. A minister -was asked to conduct the funeral service
of a man who had never darkened his church door, though he was
prominent in the social and business life of his -community. The
minister complied with the request giving the free use of his car in
which three -of the pallbearers rode to the cemetery with him. Three
hours in all were spent in this service, for which the minister was
not paid one cent,, nor was he even thanked for what he did. For
the fun -of it, gentle reader, call -up your doctor or your plumber
or -carpenter or your radio engineer or your electrician and ask him
his labour charge for an afternoon’s work as well as his mileage,
for driving twice ten miles. Try it! This minister did all this for
nothing-. That’s why we ask if ministers are softies? What costs
nothing is appraised at its cost value, some people tell us. At any
rate we ask the question.• ********
NOT LIKELY TO WORK
When it wag suggested that the unemployed should be placed
on the land, we ventured to protest. We have not changed our mind
since we made that protest. To begin with, farmers are having a
difficult time to make both ends meet, even when they carry on
under the most favorable conditions. One reason for this is that
the world has an over supply of the farmer’s product. Only an oc
casional “big fellow” is able to make anything like a financial suc
cess of the farming enterprise. A few make an operating profit.
Few make both an operating and an investment profit. Ten-acre
farms are spoken of. This sort of farming is what is known as
truck farming. Occasionally a truck farmer wins out but when he
achieves success it is as a rule because he has land specially adapted
to the line and he - is himself trained and a natural gardiner.
Along with this he must have a convenient market and he himself
must be suited to selling his goods, a rare combination, we assure
our readers. In any case capital is needed, far more capital than
most folk dream of. The experience of many such gardeners will
be similar to that of many in the dried out areas of the West. In
1938 many farmers who could not grow regular farm crops had good
gardens, but found they could not sell their vegetables. These brave
souls had nothing wherewith to provide meat, groceries, taxes,
clothing and the thousand-and-one requirements of a farm home.
Why plan and spend for the inevitable repetition of their experience?* * * * * * * *
IT HAS IT’S VALUE
We hear a great deal of the regimentation carried on by the
Dictator powers of Europe, With any system that means the stif
ling of the free expression of the rational human spirit we have no
sympathy whatsoever. For -discipline that results in the accomplish
ment of reasonable and. right human purposes we have every sym
pathy. This was brought to our attention by a lady Who entered
one of the stores in a nearby village. The morning was stormy
and the road slippery. After she had done her shopping and had
her basket well filled with her purchases she started to leave the
store, heavy basket in one hand and her cane in the other. To get
through the door she had to lay down her basket, adjust the door,
pick up her basket, close the door and pick up her basket and start
for home. Meanwhile the merchant looked oil but' stirred neither
hand nor foot to assist her. Three young men were looking on, not
one of whom did one thing to help the customer. This incident il
lustrates oiir need for regimentation. Everyone of those spectators
sadly needed a sh&rp overseer, A few mothers had been asleep
some years before. -School teachers hud not done careful training.
Just last Spring a young man who had a good job was criticized for
not doing his work properly. He immediately threw down his
tools, preferring the occasional job to regular employment. He said
ho would not be bossed. Surely this young man was sadly lacking
in the training, the discipline, the regimentation a good home sup
plies, “Young man, there are dozens of men who did better work
than that as they made their course who are this day sawing wood in
Salvation Army woodsheds/' said a University professor to a young
man under his care. “Ask yourself whether you lack ability or ate
deliberately lazy.” Here was a youth sadly in need of the benefi
cent offices of a dictator. Yes,“we believe that It‘s a poor job that
has not at least one boss and a Sharp boss at that.
Goderich Stood Alert
When Invasion Feared
During the Fenian
Troubles
By V. L. in Free press
Goderich witnessed stirring scenes
in 18 G 6 when -Canada was threaten
ed by the Feniaus. For, though far
from the international land boundary
Goderich, as the most important
port on the east shore of Lake Hu
ron, was easily accessible by water.
The militia, under -Major A. M. Ross,
carried out daily evolutions on “The
Square” and at night bivouacked on
the old Canada Company grounds
overlooking the lake and harbor
where, if anywhere,’ attacks might
be anticipated. No tents were pro
vided, the men sleeping in the open,
each with his rifle and GO rounds of
ball cartridges beside him.
It was some days after the affair
at Ridgeway that Major Ross receiv
ed an official despatch that a sus;
picious looking vessel, supposedly
carrying armed men, left Chicago
for the purpose of landing some
where near Goderich. The watchful
ness of the defending forces was ac
cordingly redoubled, and arrange
ments were made that in the event
of a raid, an alarm would be given
by the firing of the Russian cannon
on Harbor Park and the ringing of
the town fire bell. A heavy cable
was stretched across the mouth of
• the harbor, while men in small boats
patrolled both river and lake.
Later a trench was dug from the
top of Harbor Hill to the lighthouse
and three sentry posts were estab
lished, each commanding an uninter
rupted view of the lake. Each hour
during the night watches the cries
rang from post to post: “Number
one, all’s well!” “Number two, all’s
well!” “Number there, all’s well.”
It was many days later that the
whole town was thrown into con
sternation by the violent clanging of
the fire bell and the boom of the old
cannon. The sentries had sighted a
strange craft about four miles up-
shore, heading for Goderich.
Officers and men billeted at the
old Huron Hotel on Kingston street
and at other hostelries grabbed their
rifles and ammunition, and- started
on the double quick for the harbor
trenches. IBy this time they strug
gled through the* excited, impeding
crowds, the suspicious craft was get
ting much closer. Black smoke belch
ing from her funnels told unmistak
ably that she was a stranger, for the
coasting steamers still used wood
fuel.
As the steamer approached the
piers, it was discerned that her decks
were crowded with passengers.
Major Ross dispatchhd a ser-
gean guard to investigate. The
steamer, happily, proved to be the
American revenue cutter “General
Dix” with a number of prominent
military and naval officers aboard,
including General W. T. Sherman,
commander-in-chief of the U. S. army
and General Ord, of the ordinance
department at Detroit. The party
was returning from an inspection of
the Upper Lakes,
Welcomed
Major Ross and his staff hastened
to board the vessel and extend a
hearty welcome to the distinguished
visitors. The latter were eminently
hopitable, and the -Canadian com
mander and his officers reciprocated
by tendering the visitors a dinner
that same evening.
A Chicago newspaper correspon
dent who accompanied General Sher
man’s party sent his paper a vivid,
if not entirely accurate account of
the affair.
He wrote that some time before
the American craft reached the har-
bor those on board observed an un
usual commotion on shore. Men in
uniform, mounted and on foot, were
galloping and running hither and;
thither, while alert sentries tramp
ed to and fro. The Americans were
at a loss to account for this unusual
show of military zeal in peaceful
Canada.
The sting of the Chicago paper re
port, was however, contained in the
concluding paragraphs. For, after a1
' vivid description of everything he
saw and heard, plus probably a very
great deal more, the newspaperman
wrote:
“On the gang-plank being thrown
out, General Ross, in command of
the force stationed in the town,
stepped forward to shake hands with
General Sherman, remarking at the
same time, in the most earnest man
ner: “General Sherman, I am under
lasting 'obligations to you, sir, for
not firing a salute when you entered
the harbor; for had you done so, the
whole of my command would have
immediately taken to the woods.”
Major Ross, a doughty Scot, whose
sterling qualities later liter him to
a position of prominence in Ontario
politics and to Gam binet rank, took
the report, rather seriously. He at
once wrote to General Ord, at Detroit
calling attention to the article and
requesting his version of the affair.
General Ord stated that to the best
of his recollection, no such words
were ever uttered, and expressed his
regret that the correspondent's ill-
timed levity should have caused an
noyance.
Quality Counts SMost
A number of years later, General
Sherman and his aide, Colonel Ba-
can, were guests at the then popular
sumer hotel at Paint Farm. The
proprietor of the hostelry, the late
J. J. Wright, had been one of the
Goderich defenders in the Fenian
days, and in a chat with the Amer
ican general, eized the opportunity
to recall the entire incident. When he
caihe to the Chicago newspaper
man’s narrative, the general burst
into hearty peals of laughter.
“It’s one of the best jokes I ever
listened to,” he declared,
Almost Tragedy
The affair might well have been
a tragedy, or the beginning of a ser
ious “international incident” for
when the “General Dix” headed
down the channel into the harbor, a
lot of Canadian rifles were loaded,
and a lot of Huron Militiamen had
their fingers hovering dangerously
near their triggers. A chance shot,
might have precipitated a fusillade
all along the line.
That the defenders took their du
ties seriously was indicated.
The authorities had issued general
orders for all civilians to be within
doors after 9 p.m. and anyone at
tempting to pass the line of sentries
was promptly interrogated.
Quidnunc
Robert Perry is credited with be
ing the first to discover the North
Pole in 1909. Ronald Amundsen in
1926 succeeded in reaching the Pole
and in the same year, Admiral Byrd
also reached the Pole.
Measuring a year as one complete
revolution around the Sun, a year
on Mars is 687 earth days - Mercury
just 8.8 days - on Neptune, a year
equals 165 of ours. On Pluto, it
equals 25 0 of ours and Jupiter’s year
is 12 times as long as ours. And it
takes more than 150 earth years to
make one on Uranus.
From 1936 to 193'8, approximate
ly 31,088 Jewish emmigrants were
admitted to the United States. There
was an increase last year of about
8,000 over the previous year.
The average rate of speed for ra
dio broadcasters is about 17 0 words
per minute. 'On a 15-minute pro
gram, news commentators are on the
aii’ about twelve minutes — making
the average number of words spoken
over the air about 2,000. The aver
age man dictates letters at the rate
of 85 to 10 0 words per- minute. Ex
perienced stenographers can take
down in shorthand 125 to 150 words
per minute. On a recent test for
speed and clear enunciation, three
well-known radio announcers were
in competition — the fastest speak
er achieved a record of 420 words
per minute — the runner-up, 3 80.
In Leap Year, February 29th re
presents four one-fourth days instead
of a whole day — one quarter day
20
for each of the four’ years. On In
other words, each calendar year is
365 and one-fourth days.
Transcontinental Airplane Trans
ports average between 10 and 11
miles to the gallon of gas — small
one and two-seaters sometimes aver
age 28 to 30 miles to the gallon —
depending upon atmospheric condi
tions.
The largest circulation of any news-
papei’ in the United States is the
Sunday circulation of the New York
Daily News, which is 3,178/063,
Faddys & Yerkies are credited
with having established the cafeteria
They operated a ‘self-serve’, low-
price restaurant in the basement of
the southwest corner of Madison and
Fifth Ave in Chicago, Illinois about
18180, J. R. Thompon established'
the self-serve ‘one-arm’ daily lunch
in Chicago in P891.
Correction — In a recent item in
Quidnunc we credited Bulun in Si
beria, Mongolia with being the north
ernmost city on the globe. One of
our readers offers a correction,
claiming that Hammerfest, Norway,
is the northernmost city. It is a mo
dern city, with electric lights, paved
streets and a local municipal govern
ment — population approximately
5,000.
ANOTHER EXETER OLD BOY
TO THE FORE
A press despatch from Regina
states that J. A. Gregory, member of
the Battlefords, has been chosen as"
Deputy Speaker of the Saskatchewan
House. Mr I ‘Gregory is an Exeter
Old Boy.
Thus both Speaker and Deputy
Speaker of the Provincial Assembly
at Regina are from the county that
has contributed so many of Saskat
chewan’s prominent men,, including
at least two Premiers of the Prov
ince. Mr. Gregory has been Mayor
of North Battleford for twelve years.
The fellow who achieves
success is the chap
who creates
his own
opportunity
instead of waiting for
opportunity to come along.
Pope Pius XI and Canadian Rockies
In his earlier days the late Pope
Pius XI achieved considerable
fame as a mountaineer and scaled
most of the well-known Alpine
peaks. After his accession to the
Papal Throne he one day told a
party of ■Canadians visiting in
Romo that he had always been
interested in the Canadian Rookies
and that at one time he had hoped
to visit them. There wore several
mountains there, he said, that he
would very much have liked to
xslimh.
The fates directed bis path to
other heights culminating in the
Chair of St. Peter, but the story
Was brought back to Canada and
at the direction of Sir Edward
Beatty a collection of photographs
of the Roekies was bound together
in a handsome portfolio of white
calf-skin and presented to His
Holiness with the compliments of
the Canadian Pacific Railway*
Sir Edward received a most
courteous and kindly ' acknow
ledgment .which is now preserved
in the Company’s archives.