HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2013-11-07, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2013. PAGE 5.
“There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your
philosophy.”
– Hamlet
Shakespeare got that right – for
Horatio and for the rest of us.
Something new and undreamed of dog-
paddles into my life virtually every day,
whether I’m ready or not. Last week, for
instance, I read of a petit contretemps
involving an American shopper, a Geneva
boutique and a handbag. It seems the
American was in the Swiss shop looking
around when her eye fell on a particularly
fetching purse. “I’d like to see that one,
please,” she told the clerk.
“No, no, no,” the clerk replied briskly.
“You don’t want to see that one. You want
to see this one, because that one will cost
too much; you will not be able to afford
that.”
The American shopper was a black woman.
She was also an entrepreneur who earned $77
million last year, according to Forbes
magazine.
Perhaps you’ve heard of her? Oprah
Winfrey?
Clearly it was the clerk, not the shopper who
was out of her depth, but that’s not what
amazed me about this story. What stopped me
in my tracks was the price tag on the handbag
in question: $38,000.
My mind contracted to a tiny tape loop
endlessly repeating $38,000? You can spend
$38,000 for a handbag?
More things, Horatio...
Then I ran across the story of David
Rees who is re-inventing himself as
a...woodcarver, of sorts. Mister Rees lives in
New York State where he practices the – I’m
quoting from his website here – “age-old art
of manual pencil sharpening”. For a mere $70
Mister Rees will mail you one
professionally sharpened pencil, plus a
copy of his book A Practical & Theoretical
Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil
Sharpening.
Sounds pricey – but hey, he throws in a
‘certificate of sharpening’ at no extra charge.
And if that doesn’t put lead in your pencil,
try this: The Beauty Park Medical Spa in Santa
Monica, California is now offering a
procedure called the Male Laser Lift.
We’re all familiar with tummy tucks, boob
lifts, butt firming and lip enhancement. This
is...different.
For a mere $575 U.S. professionals at
Beauty Control offer – again, I quote from a
website: “a non-surgical male grooming
procedure that evens out skin tone, removes
discolouration, removes skin tags and provides
overall tightening to the external skin...”
Down under, if you get my drift.
In the vernacular, the procedure is referred
to as ‘tackle tightening’. The actor George
Clooney has studied the procedure and he’s
not impressed – with the procedure or with the
way it’s described.
Clooney calls it ‘ball ironing’ and he says to
hell with it.
I have to line up with Clooney on this one.
I’m not opposed to male grooming – if you
want to dye your hair, strap yourself into a
corset, wear elevator shoes and an aftershave
that knocks quail out of the trees at 30 paces,
fill your boots, I say.
But steam cleaning the family jewels? Nuts
to that.
Arthur
Black
Other Views
The many wonders of the world Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn’s Sense
Let’s just get this out of the way: I don’t
agree with a lot of decisions the
Ministry of Education and local school
boards make.
I’m not going to try and convince you of
otherwise because, let’s be honest, you could
probably tell I was skirting that fact by the
time you got to the end of this column.
I suppose I could list all the decisions I’ve
disagreed with, starting with the closing of my
high school a year before I graduated and
continuing on to today, but why get stuck in
the past when there are so many issues to
address in the here and now?
I’m friends with a family that recently
moved and switched from the Christian school
board to the public school board and they have
just had their first brush with a “Spirit Day”
instead of Halloween (and no, that isn’t a pun,
spirit day is the label applied to all days which
call for the students to wear themed clothing or
wacky hair).
The parents (and their three kids) didn’t
seem too pleased about Spirit Day.
What does this mean? Well it means that,
instead of students running around in their
Halloween costumes today, they’re running
around in their favourite orange and black
clothing.
I get it, I really do. Having a Spirit Day
means no one can judge other people’s
costumes, no one can ruin their costumes and
you never have to worry about people wearing
the same thing because everyone is wearing
the same thing. It makes sense in a very
simplistic, narrow-minded kind of way.
However, what it guarantees is simply not
worth what it takes away.
From a professional perspective, costumes
are great. Whether they’re home-made and
done to the nines, store-bought and nearly
perfect or thrown-together at the last minute,
costumes just make for fantastic pictures.
Orange and black clothing is... not so great.
I mean, it’s fantastic they do something for the
kids to celebrate the traditional colours of
Halloween (a completely non-denominational
celebration unless you want to attribute it
originally to the Pagans).
Heck, if anything, banning Halloween
costumes is an overtly Christian thing to do
since Christians tried to ban the celebration in
early United States history due to the strong
church ties that still existed in the area. That
means that, if anything, the Christian School
board should be banning it and the public
(non-religious, or supposed to be anyway)
school board should be welcoming it as a
celebration people of every walk of life can
enjoy.
However it makes me wonder how I ever
survived being young.
I grew up in a world where kids didn’t have
cell phones to constantly keep in touch, where
we played outdoors, took to home-made ice
rinks (usually without a helmet), wore
Halloween costumes and just generally
enjoyed our youth. Miraculously, we all
survived.
It didn’t surprise me when I only saw
teachers wearing costumes on Halloween at
schools this year. This Spirit Day is somewhat
new but it isn’t brand new.
I do find it an incredibly interesting
dichotomy, however, that within two weeks
two completely different messages are being
portrayed.
On Halloween, on the day when my
generation revelled in pretending to be
someone or something we weren’t at the time
but wanted to be (maybe a police officer, a
super hero, a doctor, a nurse, a librarian, heck,
anything) students are being forced to do
anything but that. They are being told that, if
they wanted to show their ‘school spirit’, they
should all dress in exactly the same colours.
Less than two weeks later, they are expected
to all sit down, stand up, and remember the
people who fought and died for our right to
pursue the life we want to on Remembrance
Day.
To me it doesn’t seem to be a stretch to say
these are opposing ideals.
On one hand people enlisted, fought and
died for the idea of letting people live the life
they want to live. While I’m sure choosing
one’s own dress on Halloween certainly wasn’t
one of the highlights being fought for, it
certainly is a choice.
On the other hand, you have other fingers.
You also have a governing body doing the
exact opposite of what we are told these
people fought against: removing choice.
You have a government organization telling
people what they can and cannot wear. You
have that same organization homogenizing
everything from Halloween to Christmas to
make sure no one feels left out or
marginalized.
(That said, I suppose that, in a world where
the government closes veterans affairs offices
and expects octogenarian veterans to
download a Service Canada app on to their
smart phones, my expectation of them
remembering what those veterans fought for
may be misplaced.)
Call me crazy if you must, but when I see
that, and look back at my own time in school,
I can’t help but think we’ve missed the bus on
inclusivity and instead jumped straight to
beating the sense of individuality out of
children before they’ve had their first pimple.
Maybe I’m wrong and maybe it’s just an
idolization of my own childhood but I can’t
help but shake this sensation that, with every
“Spirit Day” implemented, another
opportunity for children to share different
religions, different outlooks and different
opinions is removed from the school.
Are children going to learn more from a
generic holiday celebration or are they going
to learn more from a Christmas celebration, a
Hanukkah celebration and a Kwanzaa
celebration?
My money is on them learning from their
peers about the celebrations in which each
family participates.
My money is also on allowing people to
choose whether they want to wear a super-hero
costume, a nurse’s outfit or a lab coat to
celebrate Halloween.
Denny
Scott
Denny’s Den
Halloween costumes and other liberties
Poppy problems
It’s not often, if ever, that I agree with CBC
hockey analyst Don Cherry. I’m no hockey
expert, so when it comes to hockey, I give
him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s around this
time of year, every year, that Cherry gets
something very, very right.
Cherry has always been steadfast in his
support of Canada’s troops and emergency
services personnel. He goes out of his way on
his short, weekly hockey segment to dedicate
time if a Canadian soldier is killed. He has also
done tons of work with veterans and active
soldiers, including trips to see the men and
women in the field.
Cherry has come under fire for his
dedication to this cause, with some saying his
show should focus on hockey and not get
political.
A few weeks ago I was watching Cherry and
I was in my comfort zone, disagreeing with
him as I had so many times before when he
discussed the wearing of poppies in the Greater
Toronto Area. Cherry said that he never sees
people wearing poppies in Toronto.
I disagreed with him, remembering back to
my days there and thinking the streets were full
of people wearing poppies in November.
On Friday night I went to a concert at
Toronto’s Massey Hall and while I waited in
front of the building for my mom and sister to
show up, I thought of what Cherry had said and
began to scan the crowd. To my dismay, it
seems that Cherry was right.
I would have to say that fewer than one in
five people (80 per cent) were wearing
poppies. So, of course, Cherry was right, but it
saddened me to think that something that is so
automatic in areas like Huron County could be
so neglected in what some consider to be
Canada’s greatest city.
It’s disheartening to say the least. Perhaps
the culture is shifting in Toronto. It was just
last year that a number of protestors were
arrested at Toronto’s Remembrance Day
ceremony for disrupting the day’s solemn
moment of silence.
Perhaps the popularity of wearing poppies
has declined over the years or maybe when I
was in Toronto I simply didn’t notice the lack
of poppies as much as I do today.
Poppies are a November staple in Huron
County. In stark contrast to what I saw in
Toronto on Friday night, in Huron County you
would be hard pressed to find one in five
people not wearing a poppy.
It’s sad to think that perhaps so much time
has passed and an entire generation of people
(sadly, mine) can be out of touch with the
sacrifices that were made, and continue to be
made, to preserve the way of life we so love.
It’s easy for the waters to be muddied when
discussion turns to the lack of trust in
government, whether it’s Stephen Harper,
Mike Duffy, Pamela Wallin or Rob Ford. The
distrust in the government of the day can
translate into distrust over war and
compromise how our veterans and what
they’ve done for us holds up over time.
Whether the youth of today agree or disagree
with the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, or
how the government is being run, it’s important
to remember the real evil that held the world
hostage so many years ago and how different
today’s world could have been had legions of
brave souls not stood up for Canada.
In short, feel free to question your
leadership, especially in these times of
dishonesty and greed, but not at the expense of
those who fought, and died, because they felt
they owed their country a way of life, not the
other way around.
Successful people are always looking for
opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful
people are always asking, 'What's in it for
me?’
– Brian Tracy
Final Thought