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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1888-06-15, Page 7NOB AJ(0 A=0Ur WO*EN. TSE DRa*9AIARER or To p4X, Some one has saidthat a subject for pbila, sophiele laveatigaton is why there` should be somuch trouble over women's clothes, The problem was thought to be solved fora while when we got to employing men se dressmak. ere, and tailor-made suite undoubtedly aro t great satisfaction to the wearer, but few wearers can pay $40 to have a suit made, the cloth of whioh coats only half that sum. The high-priced dressmakers who can turn you out a really stylish and well -made gown, have this disadvantage to one who who is obliged to economize, in addition to their high charges, that they require an exorbitant number of yards of goods, and will never take the trouble to return what may be left, A cheap dressmaker gives your gown a ser• vent -girlish air that is intolerable to a lady bred. There is just one way in whioh a woman of intelligence can solve this problem, and that is by making her own gowns. You may nob have time, but think what a lot of coarse work you oan hire dens for the pride of a well -made dress. If you once get a dress that fits.you, never throw or give it away. Rip the waist whon it is worn out, and carefully out and keep the pattern. If you cannot do this, have a perfect lining Wee by the best dressmaker or tailor to whorn you have access. After a little practice you wilt learn to drape a gown as well as any dressmaker, and there is an immense amount of satisfaction in wearing a dresa that you have made yourself. Making over a dress . is excellent practice. If ladies in any rural community would form themselves into amateur dressmaking olube, and do their sewing in concert, they would find it very pleasant as well as profitable. They might meet at eaoh other's bonus, or at the house of some friend who may own the best sewing machine, and while one of them would be sure to have the best eye for fittj ng, another would undoubtedly possess especial skill in draping, and so they would prove of mutual benefit. Four of the handsomest costumes to be seen on the street were made in this 'way by a number of New York ladies, who, rebelled against tyranny of their fashionable dressmaker. Weems's FIGURE, REAL AND IDEAL. To get some comparison between the ideal ef a woman's figure as the Greek sculptors chiseled it and as the modern Chicago dreas- maker and cloakmaker regard it, one can- not do better than compare the proportions of the Medieean Venus with those of the professional models who exhibit fine goods for the sellers at the wholesale and retail stores.: The Venus is 5 Leet 5 inches in height, meaaurea nearly 25 inches about the waist, 34 inches about the bust and 44 inches about the hips, The upper arm measures 13 inches and the wrist 7. From the base of the akull to the waist is between 14 and 15 inches, and from shoulder to shoulder is 15 inches. The approved dimensions for a • cloak or dress model as employed in most of the large city houses do not differ great- ly as regards height. Short women and tall women are needed in the retail storea but a wholesale house exhibiting samp- les to a buyer will require a woman of about 5 feet 5 to display its choi- cest) goods to advantage. Her other measurements will be -about es follows Waist, 23 inches, or sometimes 24; bust, 36 inches, or occasionally 37 ;' hip measure, - -Mom 45 to 47 inches ; upper arm measure, 11 inches ; distance from base of skull to waist, 16e inches, and from shoulder to shoulder, 134 inches. The modern mea- sure approximates the Greek measure much more closely than it would have done twenty years ago. Sixty years ago there would have been very little comparison possible be- tween the two. When the dress -making model differs from the statuesque• model the divergence can be traced occur ately to the corset shape, which makes the waist rather smaller, the bust and hip con- siderably larger than they ought to be. It is the corset also whioh makes the waist too long. Lack of a 'efficient 'amount of mus- cular exercise is responsible probably for the missing two inches in arm girth and the missing inoh and a half in shoulder width. The professional models are, as a rule, among the most symmetrical women seen in the city as to measurements not specified, and in these respects approximate the Greek very nearly. WHERE WOMEN Do ALL THE. WOR$. Wearly all the laborious work, such as is performed by men elsewhere- is done eat Capri by women. The men are en the sea as mariners oil fisbormen, or they have been conscripted into the Italian army. Women are the masons and the builders, the farmers, and in some instances the mechanics, It seems strange to an American from the land of machinery to observe the awkward and primitive fashion in whioh workof all kinds is done here. Fields aro cultivated and honsea.are built with implemen'a such as were familiar to our grandfathers, but of which we have almc st forgotten the use. The houses of Capri, construoted now of the same material and in the same manner as Were the dwellings of buried Pompeii in the first century of the Christain era, are built of atone and plaster. Rough stones are piled together after the manner in which farmers build fences to divide their fields in ont' country, and, which is also common Isere, The crevices are filled in with sand and coarse cement over which is laid. plaster, and thus the walls and arched roofs of the dwellings—the former sometimes two or three feet in thickness—are eonstrected. Every part of the work is done in the moat primitive and laborious manner. The earth, for instance, that is dug from the proposed alta of some new wall is scratched with a rude hoe, gathered up by the hands and thrown into a basket, which when filled, is carried away upon the head.—Harper's sit agaeint. awl, se flirtation has set le, the bones of both mf#le have palled the windows. down. Ilion article in the New York World, Mre, :Henry Ward Beecher deal" severely with slaagily.inolined girls, She appeals to the. self-respect of young girls, and eudeavors to show them that it is no harder to. Malta the mannere and example of well-bred ladi than it is that of rough, boisterous : boys: She also urges rnothera to be more careful with their girls, to be interested in their amusements, and particularly to be acquaint- ed with the character, habits and home•life of their associates,, - WOMEN LAWYULS. Women lawyers are becoming a power in the land. Michigan University has already Ott out 24 young women holding the degree of Lie B. 'Tie year a young woman from tire Sandwich Islands, Miss Alma Hitohceck, will make the 25th. In England there is a olub of women lawyers. It is mainly a a correspondence club, yearly lettere from the members being printed and circulated. Mrs, Melva Lockwood and Miss Waugh, from the law tohool in Chicago, aro among the Members. The motto of the club fm, "Alt the Allies of Each." In Kensington bon, Philadelphia, they have two millied �en aind t°heother other. Women worked by DONE IN .A MINUTE. at is eeemplirlaed leveret sixty Seconds,. "Well, well, don't fret;11.1 be there in* minute," But, my friend, a minute means a good f deal, notwithstanding you affect to bold it of no oonQequence. Did youever stop to think what may happen in a minute? No, Well, while you are murdering a minute for yourself and one for me, before you get ready to sit down to the buainess we have in hand, T will amuse you by telling you some things that will haopen meantime. In a minute we ehallbe whirled around on the outside of the earth by its diurnal mo.. tion a (Esteem of "thirteen miles. At the same time we shall have gone along with the earth, .In its grand journey around the sun, 1080• miles. Pretty quick travelipg, you say? Why, that ie slow work compar- ed with the rate of travel of that ray of light whioh just now- reflected from that mirror made you wink. A minute ago that ray was 11,160,000 miles away. In a minute, over all the world, about eighty newborn infants have each raised a wail of protest at the fates for thrusting ex. istenco upon them, while as many more hu- man b;inga, weary with the struggle of life, have opened their lips to utter their last sigh. In a minute the lowest sound your ear oan catch has been made by 990 vibrations, while the highest tone reached you after making 2,228,000 vibrations. In each minute in, Canada and 'United States, night and day,. all the year round, twenty-four barrels of beer have to go Elwyn 12,096 throats, and '4830 bushels of grain have come"to bin. The telephone is used 595 times, the tele- graph 136 times. Of •tobacco, 925 pounds is raised, and part. of it has been used in ma- king 6673 cigars, and some more of it has gone up in the smoke of 229:i cigarettes. But 1 am afraid that .you will forget that we are talking about a minute, sixty seconds of time. No ? 'Well,then, every minute 600 pounds of wool grow in thiel country, and we have to dig sixty-one tons of anthra• cite coal, and 200 tons of bituminous coal, while of pig -iron we turn out twelve tons and of steel rails three tons. In this minute you have kept me waiting fifteen kegs of nails have been made, twelve bales of cotton should have come from the fields and thirty-six bushels of grain gone into 149 gallons of spirits, while $66 in gold should have been dug out of the earth. In the same time the United States Mint turn- ed out gold and silver coin to the value of $121, and forty. two acres of the public do- main have been sold or given away. A New York Dinner. A dinner has just been envois by a New York lady whioh is reported to have cost more per head than any previous entertain. meat of any kind, The contract price was a hundred and seventy-five dollars for each plate. The caterer sent to Florida and to Central and South America for ferns, palms, ivy, mandarin trees, and other decoration. For truffles he sent to France, and straw- berries, arranged in bouquets of five berries eaoh, costs seven dollars and fifty cents per bunch. The table was arranged about a miniature lake, in whioh palma, lilies, and ferns appeared to be growing, while tropical trees rose from the banks amid miniature parterres of flowers. Small electric -lights with vari-coloured globes were arranged about the lake, and electricity was introduc- ed under the water of the 'improvised lake and caused to dance about in imita, tion of varicoloured' fish. There wee a fountain in the centre of the lake, and a coloured glass ball, lighted by electricity, spurted up and down a jet of crystal' water. There was no cloth on the table, and eaoh of the twenty courses served at the dinner was plaoed before the guests on a natural palm leaf. The wall and room decorations were of smilax, "ferns, ivy and palm, mandarin, banana, orange and other trees, Hanging among them were hundreds of very small coloured eleotric lights. The individual decorations of each plate cost thirty dollars, the favours as much more, and the menus were painted to order at ten dollars each. Roman punch was served in oranges hanging on the natural trees, the pulp of the fruit having been deftly removed, so that the guests pinked their own fruit from the branches for the first time. The Change in the Frog. Nowhere in the animal kingdom is there so favorable an opportunity for peeping into nature's workshop as in the metamorphoses of the frog. This animal is a worm when it comes from the, erg, and remains such the firat four days of its life, having neither eyes, nor ears, nostrils nor respiratory organs. It crawls. It breathes through its skin. After awhile a neck is grooved into the ileeh. Its soft lips are hardened into a horny beak. The different organs one after another bud out; then a pair of branching gills, and last a long and limber tail. The worm has be- come a fish. Three or four days more elapse, and the gills aink back into the body, while in their place others come, much more com- plex, arranged in vascular tufts one hundred and twelve in eaoh. But they, too, have their day, and are absorbed together with their framework of bone and cartilage, to be succeeded by an entirely different breathing apparatus, the initial of a,@econd oartilated group of radical changes. Lunge aro de- veloped, the mouth widened, the horny beak converted into rows of teeth, the stomach, the abdomen, the intestines prepared for the reception of animal food in place of vege- table ; four limbs, fully equipped with hip and shoulder bones. with nerves and blood vessels, push outthrough the skin, while the tail, being now supplanted by them as a means of locomotion, is carried away piece- meal by the absorbents, and the animal passes the balance of its days as an air - breathing and flesh -feeding batrachian, Mind Beached Through the Body That mental disorders may in many in- stances be cured by corporeal measures all known, Some sudden shook to the body has often proved the only means by which a long standing mania has been removed. It is wonderful, for instance, what a marvelous effect the submersion of the would be sui- cide in the cold depths of the dark river has upon his mind. No sooner is he rescued and brought to his senses than all thought of putting an end to his existence has van- ished, and he once more braces himself up to fight the battle of life. The disappointed lover who -especially if she be a woman— is temporarily deranged, finds a plunge into the •nearest pond quickly alters her views as to her miserable condition. The fires of love are often as effectually quenched by one rash dip and the troubled mind as speed- ilyrestored to ahealthy condition, as though the false one had never betrayed her, or the treacherous vow had never been spoken.— [London Standard. A Chicago Traveller. "What have you seen today?" I asked, " Waal we've seen a palace," was the really. "Which palace?" 1 enquired, as "Venice boasts rather ,a long liet." Oh I don't know the name of it, " said the Western citizen ; then, addressing his wife, "My dear, tell this gentleman which palace it was we saw today. "Oh, I don't knew," exclaimed his wife. " Auntie, do yon remember the name of the palace we taw this forenoon ? " "Decd 1 don't, " said Auntie, in turn, re- ferring the question to an equally oblivious child, t who, with characteristic precocity, offered to bet her bottom dollar upon the impossibility of remembering the name in snob an old ourlosity shop as Venice, where everything Was out of repair, and one place looked exactly like another. " Waal," said the imperturbable father, " it don't matter much, anyhow ; I guess wo have checked it off. " My dear madam," maid the chairman of the committee of the Maine benovo. lent fraternity calling on the Widow Guth. ington, (according to the Lewiston Journal), " allow us to intrude on your great sorrow so far ad to say that your lamented hus- band "-[llurst of tears from Mrs. Gushing - ton, She has an attack of faintness. Ono of the committee supports her.] --",That your lamented husband was insured in our association for $2,000, and "—[Mrs. Gush. ington exclaims, ',Poor, poor Charles," and buret/ into tears again. The committee greatly affected]--" and that thomoney will be prompptly paid to you in sixty dyaye," Mfrs, Guslrington, in another burst of tears, "Gracious goodness, I thought you'd brought it with yen l" Hints on Health. It is a mistake to labor when you are not in a fit condition to do so. To think the more a person eats the healthier and strong- er he will become. To go to bed late at night and risejat daybreak, and imagine that every hour taken from sleep is an hour gain- ed. To imagine that if a little work or exer- cise is good, violent or prolonged exercise is better. To conclude that the smallest room in the house is large enoughto sleep in. To eat as if you had only a minute to finish the meal in, or to eat without an appetite, or continue after it has been satisfied, merely to satisfy the taste., a o believe that chil- dren can do as much work as grown people, and that the more hours they study the more they learn. To, imagine that what• ever remedy causes one to feel immediately better (as alcoholic stimulants)jis good for the system without regard to the atter effects. To take off proper clothing out of season be cause you have become heated. To sleep exposed to a direct draft in any season. To think any nostrum or patent medicine is a tpeoific for all the diseases the flesh is heir eo. Artielessof Faith. It is said that the prominent members of the Presbyterian Church in England and Scotland have nearly completed the prepare tion of new " Articles of Faith" to supersede the Westminster Confession. The new " Articles" are 23 in number and are said to be of a less exclusive character than those of the old " Confession" A New York paper gives the following statement of the sub- stance of the new "Articles :"—While they mention the election or choice by God of "a people unto Himself," they do not say that He has made a portion of tho human race on purpose to condemn them to everlasting misery. On the contrary, they say that Jesus Christ was sent to be the Savioar of the world. In the terms of salvation they declare, not that some men are born to be damned, but that "God willeth that all mon should be saved and come to a know. ledge of the truth, and that the gospel of forgiveness and eternal life is freely offered o all men." ' - - The Light of, the Future, The primary fault of all our lights, electric lip'ht included, is that there is so great a waste of energy in the form of heat, The glowworm, the firefly, and a multitudo of other animals show that light may be obtain- ed Without any more heat than that of the animal body, and without any such danger as that so terribly displayed in the burning of theatres. Radziszewski found that an- imal light isduo to theoxidation of,two kinds of organic matter, ono containing hydrocar- bon and the other aldehydes, or something yielding aldehydes when treated with alkalis. The isolation of these compounds is but another step, and their application, both of them being stops that are but small compar. ed with many that have been made in the ohemistry of, the generation. All bur exist• ing artificial lights have another common fault. They are concentrated foci of glare. tut for its cost the best of all is the wax or paraffin candle. A room lighted with 20 candles, well distributed, is incomparably better lighted than by one 20•candle gas ligntor eleotriolight ; with the luminous up- holstery 1 euggceted the diffusion would be still more complete than with the candles, it would correspond as nearly as possible to diffused daylight, and might be made to produce most charming artistic effects. Poison for some animals is food for others. Hogs can eat henbane or hyooyatnus, which is fatal to dogs and moat other animals. Doge and horses are not easily poisoned with arsenic.. Goats eat water hemlock with impunity; pheasants, stramonium; rabbits, belladonna ; and morphia is said to be into - ewes to pigeons. There is; tome truth in the old baying that " what is one Man'hi meat is another man't pofeon." This le due to habits and idio*yncraalee. JLL$CELLANEOIl3. Small boys in Phillipe, Me„ make circus money by digging bait for trout fishermen. The latest quotations were 25 dente a r(ttart offered by one of the leading grocers, said eighteen quarts were brought an at those figures. The workmen on the great Eiffel tower in Paris have struck on the ground that the higher they go, the greater the danger be There are 200 of them earning on an aver- age 80 cents a day, 1f their engem are to ripe with the tower, it will not go very much further. Mrs. Charles E, Williams of Westfield, Mass,, arose in her sleep the other night, went to the window of her room on the second floor, raised it and stepped out. When she struck the area below she awoke, and was considerably frightened, but that was all the harm her fall occasioned. The bodies of Edward Whitehouaeand Liz- zie Webb were found on May 21 in the river Lea, tied together with a handkerchief, and looked in each other's arms. A letter was found in the young woman's pocket address. ed to her mother, desiring her not to "fret," and asking that she and her lover might be buried in the same grave. The largest umbrella in the worldhas been made in Glasgow. for a King of East Africa. It can be opened and shut in the usual way, and whon open; is 21 feet in diameter; the staff is also 21 feet long. It is lined, with cardinal red and white, hes a lot of straw tassels, and a border of crimson satin. The canopy itself is made :pf Italian straw, and the top terminates ina gilded cone. •,When the United States Fisk Commission steamer Albatross was fu the • Straits of Magellan, where she spent a month making collections, she ran out of roe. So she steamed into Eyre Sound, where icebergs are otten found floating, made fast to a nice berg, cut off big blocks of the ice, which was clear and solid, and took on board six tons, which lasted until she reached Panama., According to Prof. Sargent, the strongest wood in the United States is that of the nutmeg hickory of the Arkansas region, and the weakest she West Indian birch. The moat elastic is the tamarack, the white or shell -bark hickory standing far below it. The least elastio, and the lowest in specific gravity, is the wood of the ficus aurea, The highest specific gravity, upon which in gen- eral depends value as fuel, is attained by the bluewood of Texas. Eugene Hopkins, of Plymouth, has a five- year-old Jersey cow that is peculiar. The other day she shed one of her horns, leaving in its place a smaller, better -shaped, and glossy horn that had apparently grown up within the old one. The horn upon the other side of the head shows signs of coming off in the same way. Down in those parts it's unusual for cows to shed their horns unless assisted by the hired man with a club or a heavy milking steel. Mr. Hopkins says that he would as soon expect to ace a man shed his kneepana. Three-year-old Robbie De Forrest, a Con- necticut boy, fell head first into a big post hole the other day. There were several inches of water atthe bottom of the hole, but Robbie held himself up by the arms, so that he didn't get his face in the water, and the earth he loosened in his struggles ab- sorbed it soon ; so danger front that source was taken away. There the young man re- mained, upside down, for three-quarters of an hour, when his aunt saw bis feet sticking out of the hole and promptly yank; ed him out. He was nearly exhausted. "Aunty," he said. "I heard you every time you called, but I could not make you hear me." George Potts of Head county, Ga., had reason to think that the revenue dfiioers would be glad to find him, and he determin- ed to circuinvent them. One morning sever- al monthaago his bed was found empty, and. pinned to the wall was this note: " When n rade this this I will be ded. Under the river will be my home." His friends search- ed for him. They found tracks leading to the river and then disappearing. A mile down the stream they'got Potts's coat caught by an everhanging branch. They decided that he was dead, and his family mourned duly. Three months later Potts appeared, and said that he wasn't dead : 'but his friends won't believe him. They say that the or- iginal Potts is indeed dead ; and now Potts is trying to find proof to show that he is really alive. SAVED IRO-* lITIOROP110 The Maidstone aneeesetelly ,rolled N as Aep.Itltteit Cowbiy. Tom Harris, a cowboy from the Staked Pfeins, Texas, ie lying at Kansas O14 ,recovering from an attack of hydrophobl1. Oise Saturday night he was bitten by e. "hydrophobia cat" while away from the reach gathering up etre cattle in the Indian Territory. Ae the Intel result of ,gob a bite is well known in those parts of the oountry the man left the herd ail once and rode to Fort Elliott, Tex., in search of a maditeaes but falling to find one, he started for Kan- sas City, where be arrived Wednesday morning, with his left bandana arm swollen* suffering intense pain. Dr. J. M, Dtakson, of that pity, who pommies a pair of mad' stones whioh hie grand -father brought with him from Ireland was. at once sent for and began treatment. The wound 1s very small and harmless-bookiug on'e, con - hating of three tiny teeth remake onthe inside of the third fioger of thee left hand. The madames have drawn more or less pus from the wound Since they were first applied yesterday .moxniog-as; much as half an eggsbellful at one time. The swelling has decreased in proportion, and the doctor thinks now that the ease is under control. Harris. ie. a very intelligent and well•behav- ed cow -boy. He now feels a great deal better bat admits that he was badly seared aver the increasing pain and the. constant swelling of his arm. He thinks he .has had ,a pretty serious experience, and refers frequently en his conversat tion to that contemptible little animal that came to) near pending him off " unprepared„'as he confesses. Dicksonhastwostuffedspeof;Hans. of the pat athis residence, 1307 Drippestreet. He says it is an entirely distinct species, dif- ferent from the skunk or polecat; with which it is often confounded. The animal is no logg- ers than an ordinary gray squirrel, with red' eyeballs, and its long, shaggy hair send feel- er standing upward and forward. Its bite is always poisonous, and fatal if not attended to. The doctor attribdtes the frequency of hydrophobia in this Western country to the prevalence of this animal. It ie- found in Texas, India Territory, Arkansas, Kansas and Weateru Missouri. Often, and es- pecially i>g severe weather, the "hydro phobia oat" will make its way into hones, dugouts and stables, 'biting people and ani-. mals it may come in contact with, and many cases of hydrophobia in domestic and wild. animals are due to its bite. Very frequently hydrophobia patients come in from the Stak- ed Plains in Texas and Indian Territory' to be treated with the madstone; Among Dr. Dickson's former pontoons tae Chief Keoknkowa, of the Sac and' Fox tribe,; in the Indian Territory, who was a grandson of the old Chief Keokuk, of ter'whom Keokuk, ra., was named. Brunswick, Ile., is getting ready to cele- brate its 150th anniversary, and already stories of the early days of the town are be- ing set afloat. Here's one : Mr. William Walker, of Falmouth, and Miss Sibyl Staples, of Topsham, were to be mtrried. They were on the Topsham side of the river, and on the Brunswick aide was the Rev. John Miller, the minister who was to perform the ceremony, and between thein rolled the raging waters swollen by the sud- den spring thaw. The minister couldn't get to the anxious couple and they couldn't get to him. But he was equal to the emergency. Standing on the edge of the bank, he sent bis powerful voice across the stream, and William and Sibyl joined hands and made the proper responses, and were duly pro- nounced man and wife. What London and Paris Eat. In London and Paris the annual average consamptioa a head of population ie stated to be as follows, the greater quantity in eaoh being credited to the Parisian : Apples, 65 pounds and 6 ounces -145 pounds pears, 39 pounds and 5 ounces -170 pounds and 13 ounces; peas, 3 pounds 8 ounces -6 pounds and 15 ounces ; carrots, 7 pounds and 3 ounces -37 pounds; celery, 11 ouaces-6 pounds 13 ounce*; cherries, 2 pounds and 13 ounces -20 pounds and 14 ounces ; plums and damsons, 17 pounds and 12 ounces -183 rounds and 4 ounces ; raspberries, 4 ounces 2 pounds ; strawberries, 3 pounds and 10 ounces -13 pounds and 12 ounces; aspara- gus, 1 pound and 3 ounces -5 pounds and 4 ounces, On the other hand, while the Londoners eat 173 pounds 4 entices of potatoes, the Parisian oats only 49 pound! and 4 ounces. The averege consumption of onions, tomo. toes, cabbages, cucumbers and turnips is also greater in London than in Paris - but with [SUMMER SMILES. Small comfort—A toady.A gentleman of color—A painter. The tin can d es 7iotepoint a moral, but it very frequently adornt a. tail. It doesn't take a very long for me risen to pull the feathers out of a whis y` cook - tail. Some men are"good because good best, and .then, agai , some a e nothing. Kathleen Mavourry�en Mans" are `those:. of an uncertain kids, that "may be for years and may be forever." A girl attehed a cooking school end' be- came so infatuated with culinary art that she married a supe. Charles—" She's pretty, but she doesn't know anything." . Evelyn—' -Oh, yes she does ; she knows she's pretty." When a burglar breaks into a house he generally steals up stairs -and everything else he can lay his hands on. Soulful Youth (languidly)-" Do yon sing " Forever and Forever ?" She (practically) —" No, I stop for meals." " Milke, • did you ever catch frogs 1" Yea, .sorr." " What did you bait with?" "Bate 'em with 1. Shtick, soar." ' Visitor (to little girl)—" Where' are your' sisterand brothers, little ;one?" " I ain't got none. I'm all the family we've got " Laundry women are the most humble and forgiving. beings on earth. The. Wore • cuffs you give them the (more they will do for you., The times are so hard that an.Irishman says. he has parted with all his elegant ward. robe except the armholes of an old'we.ist coat. Clara (to Ethel, who is discribing he - hairbreadth escape from the bull)--" Bat hr didn't gore you?" 's Oh, no, ma ()here ; he cat by us!" Mother—" And the serpent, ae'a punish - anent for tempting Eve, as made to crawl all the rest of his life." . obbie—" Well, mamma, how did he get aeon before;" spys Tlusband—" I tell you, my have any kind of success m b afraid I have a Nemesis." Wife`, . Why don't you see a doctor about it?" Mr. Bill Simmonds—" 1 wonder ef ghosee ee ebber gets sick ?" Mrs. Janata Grow--" Ii course deygeba t3ek ; didn'tyer nobber heap of cholera in phantom." What does menu mean, my dear?" Food for ire an' you, 'tis Cleary "What does meander Vogul/ Who knows?" "When me and her out walking goes." Customer (to Mr. Isaaestein)—" The coat is about three sizes too big." Mr. Isaaostein " (impressively)—Mine frent, fiat coat make you mo proud you will grow into--- nto ft" Young Wife-" Horrors't. See here, airs, your dog has rnu off with a whole sponge cake I left outside to cool." Tramp -" ,i3on't worry, mum. That dog's tougher'n he looks. Hoskin eat anything. No man knows how much he really levee a woman until she has preaented. him With the work ed canvas for the sides 01 a natty traveling bag, and he has, paid seven or eight dollars for laving 10 made up. A New York store advortieee as the new- est thing outs its "patent children's knee pads." The histor .of the pads is interest - in A northern New Hampshire waken, with boys who would go trough the hoiden! ar, I don't I'•in these evocations the French are by fat the j their knickerbocker" and atwokiligs fa+ largest consumers of fruit and vegetables . than she could mend them, in a iagafmVole Good Housekeeping. Of all human pensions, pride most seldom obtain* its end for aiming at honour and reputation, it generally reaps oontempt and derieloa. of fntpleetion, fitted tome soot siefehdr smoothly over the knees of two Of her boys. A summer visitor tom the whom and adopted it for her boys, and to the nil Went out Into the world, pard no ha* patented the Ne idesie, aid It Wain