Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1885-10-09, Page 7A Sprig of Purple Jileittlier,. sr Jegiea costo,. A fetter came to me to day F.cm one at prodent far away, And in its dainty folds there lay t spdg at purple heather Culled from Meanie of some great bon, or from some winding, fairy glen. Where aft )he blood of tllghlaad men Has deeper dyed the heather.. I kissed each lovely purplo hen,, And breathed nith joy tai frag:;rant smell; It made my bosom fondly swell, This sprig of purple heather ; It mads me long again to see The 1ove111 lips and ligbtsomo o'e Of hor who lordly sent to ate This ep ig of purplo heather. slut au: umn' i gold must come and go, And winter clothe with epoflese snow The mountains and the glens where glow The thyme and purplo heather Before I see my Bertha%taco Sat for her smite Hi gently press, And next my heart with fattiness plane, This sprig of purple heather. A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY, By the Author of, " Tse Female Gum,' 4' LoYELY LADY LYlT13IIR$T,'" &o , &c. CEfAPTER V.—(CGNTINvgn,) Dolly looked on with dry eyes, but ever- inoreasing fear and agony in her heart, She knew instinctively, before the doctor had uttered a word, what his verdict would be; so, when h laid mho head gently back op the pillow Joe had improvised, and uttered the monosyllable " dead" it was no surprise to aaer. "It is terrible affar 1" Doctor Seymour said slowly, as the three stood geziog down with different emotions upon the handsome features already feet stiffening in the lay grasp that held them. " Fearfully sudd -n to be thus cut cif in the very prime of life, and with such brilliant prospects before him! Poor Lady Braithwaite ; it will be a sad blow for her and almost as great for Mise Mainwaring 1 Smith, I think it would be wellfor you to go to the Hall as quickly as you can, and ask to see the butler; he will know beat how to break the news. Perhaps it would be as well for you to say that the Captain is daegerouely hurt; they will he more prepared to hear the truth, which will be known soon enough. I will remain here and keep watch is the meantime." Joe started onhis errand somewhat re- luctantly ; he wished the Doctor had under- taken it himself, and left him free to talk with Dolly. He had something he wished pertioularly to say to her, and he might never have such an opportunity. He dared not however do otherwise than obey the commands be had received, and therefore set out on his mission without delay. When he was out of sight Motor Say. moor turned to Dolly and laid his hand gen- tly on her arm. "You can do no good here, my child. This foor fellow is beyond all earthly .care and -consideration, and you must think of your- self now. rake my advice and return home •immed'ately before any one arrives from the Hall. Your presence here would only give rise to remarks and surmises, whioh are best avoided. Besides, your father doubtless must be growing anxious at your absence from home at this late hoar." " My father 1" elm repeated, raising one hand to her forehead in a confused. manner ; and the Doctor saw again that curious look in her eyes, while a alight shiver passed through her frame. " You are right," she added in a more natural tone.; " he will be anxious, and since, as you say, I can do no good, I will go now—only--only--" And then, before Dootor Seymour could inter- pose, or was even aware of, her intention, she had flung herself upsn her &noes and was covering the dead man's band with pas- sionate kisses. The next moment she had raisen to her feet, and, throwing back her head with a gesture' of r?eS.n,�ree, she exclaim- ed proudly, " They say he would have mar- ried Miss Mainwaring ; but he loved me— yes, me—Dolly Jarvis, the blacksmith's daughter 1' Then she turned, and, without one b sok- ward glance, moved rapidly away. ""Well, well, to tri sure 1"muttered the worthy Doctor, rubbing his hands slowly together and staring after the retreating figure a little blankly, " a strange world 1 The gossips were right, after alt." But, being nogossip himself, said discreet as those in his profession ueally are, the good old Doctor never divelged to a angle soul what had taken place after Joe's de- parture. efeenwhile, Dolly sped on hor way. At first she walked quickly, ber feet keeping pane with the tumult of hor thoughts, but by-and-by the high nervous tension began - to relax, the excitement whioh had borne her up in a measure died away, and her steps lagged wearily. A sort of Stupor be. g in to creep over her, the shadows of the ereee formed themaelvesinto fantastic shapes, and seemed to her distorted fancy like so many imps dancing round her and gloating over her misery. She wondered whether her father had missed her, whether he would be very an, gry when he learned where and with whom she had been, whether even he would refuse to receive her into his house aglin. Well, it did not signify—nothing signified, now that he was dead. Dead 1 Oh, no, it could not be 1 They had been talking together, he had just told her how much he loved hor, -when someone had struck him from behind. It had all beenso sadden, the aaaault and . the deadly Struggle that folio' ved. She had been so alarmed that she had, after, one feeble protest, buried her fen in her 'hands that she might not witness that terri- ble fight. She had heardtthe deep breath• dug of the mob, the muttered imprecations, a heavy fall, the sound of retreatingfoot- stege, and then there was sflenoe —a silence that lasted so long that she was fain to look up ; and then she had ween that no trace re• mainod of the dombatente—only the grass Vat down trodden and the brambles broken Where they had fought close --great Heaven as close to the edge of those huge boulders 1 b`aeoinated, drawn thither by spine force stronger than her own will, she had crept to the head of the rooks and looked over, to see dimly .a figure lying there still and moa •tionlese. During that eeteelieldedeetlatel+y" *1k'elft" enacted the whole scene she had just gone through again and again. That other man . pour Harry's murderer --who wall he 2 She had not seen his face nor heard hie voice -. and yet, just for one horrible Mo; meat, abe had fanoled ho bora: a strange ret sornblenee Oh, be, no, A thousand. time, `nu; it waa not posalble ! The man who had amok her lover down roust have been some one whet owed hien a deadly grudge, pe haps a poach- er whom the young officer bad beetle the means of getting convicted, and who had waited for an opportunity to avenge him- self ; and yet why lied she.—dolly said it WAS en am:ident--why had she pot boldly denounced the assassin? Ah, why, indeed? What motive could have infleeneed her to make her endeavour to shield Qne whom she would naturally Iwo been the first to denounce she Gould not tell. She was only oonsoious of a strange confusion of ideas, a ' dread of she knew not what. When at last she reached home, she dead for a moment half hesitating before she tim- idly knocked with her hand on the door. A brief pause, and then there was a sound of approaching footsteps, the bolts were drawn slowly back, an a vo"ce like—yet so unlike—her father's asked 1}oaruely, " Who is there ?" "It idI, father—Dolly. DIn't you know me ?' the girl said tremulously as the door was opened oautioualy, and she crossed the threshold. Adam drew the bolts again and followed Dolly into the kitohen. As the light fell up- on him the girl uttered a little cry of alarm, Could that old, worn, haggard•lonkiog man be her father, the jovial blacksmith? Surely he never beforehad that stoop in'his shquld- ars, and his.eyee—oh,why did they regard her so coldly, so strangely? Had she sinned so deeply as to have alienated his affection end wrought this terrible change in him within a few short hours ? , 8 . " Well, girl, what have you to say ?" Adam questioned sharply. "Oh, father, father," Dolly cried, stretch- ing out both hands to arda him, and falling upon her knees before him, "dont look at me like that—it will kill me ! I have done wrong ; I should have trusted you and , told you all; but, oh, if I have sinned, I have been bitterly punished 1" " How—how?" asked Adam huskily : and the girl shivered at the sound of that strained unnatural voice. "Ho is dead 1" the girlanswered briefly, with something like a wail. "Dead I" Had Adam spoken, or was it a groan? Dolly raised her head and glanced fearful- ly up at him. He was standing with arms crossed on his brawny Oast, his eyes staring straight before him—unconticous even of her presence. 1 the girl repeated in frighten- ed tones ; and then her glance fell upon his shirt -front and travelled down to the wrist- bands. What were thous dark red spots be- e rankled here and there ? Dolly's eyes grew dark and distended, whilst they looked like those of some hunted wild animal. " Fa- ther 1" she gasped, staggering to ber feet and taking a step backwards. " Speak 1 What is thi:", horrrible tiling ? It—it is not true 1 Great Heaven—oh, say it is not true ! I was wrong—when I suspected—eh, tell me that I am going mad 1" Then Adam Jarvla'a strained gaze relaxed and his eyes, filled with a strange regret and hopeles .nese, met those of his dinghter stead- ily, as he answered slowly and distinctly— " Yon are not going mad, Dolly; bat I was mad when, in a ht of ungovernable pas- sion, I struck down the roan who had dared to wrong my daughter." Scarcely had the words left his lipswhen, with a cry that rang in Adam s ears until the day of his death, Dolly fell forward senseless at his feet. CHAPTER VI. Sir Ralph and Lady Braithwaite were en- tertaining alarge circle of guests at theHall. There were some old friends of the Baronet, and several yoang men, his sons' friends, for this was the eve of the twelfth of Au. gust, and the sportsmen were looking for- ward to having a fine time of it on the York- shire moors. Bat the lords of creation were not to have it all their own way. A number of ladies had been invited to sharp their host's hospi- tality, and to keep Lady, Braithwaite and Mise Mainwaring in countenance, as 'ihelet- terlaughingly protested. It had been decided that there should be dancing every evening—not a regular ball, but just a homely affair—that form of amuse- ment being the meet in' `favour with the young people ; whilst their elders repaired to the smoking -room, or sought refuge in • the smaller drawin;;--room, whore csrdtables, were set out, for Sir Ralph had a great par- tiality for whist. Geraldine' Mainwaring was in her own room ; she had been lying down to refresh herself for the coming festivitihs. Dinner had been delayed half an hour in deference to the expected arrival of more visitors. Thefirst dressing -bell had not yet rung when a knock sounded at MissMainwaring's door ; and, in answer to that young lady's " Entree," her maid Celeste time in,... Geraldine was wearing a pale primrose tea gown, in whioh she had, appeared,during the afternoon, and which" suited her' style of beauty to perfection ; she had`„logsened her hair, which fell iu rich luxuriance below hor waist. There was a happy lightilin her dark eyes, although her thoughts were evi- dently wandering, or she mune have noticed the unusual portarbation off the Frenchwo- man's manner. But Colette needed :no encotttagoinent to speak, for hardly had ehe crossed the thres- hold when she lifted both her hands and shook herlheed Ina way that was exceedingly expressive. " But, mademoieelle, this is terrible, n'est ce pas ?" she cried. " Oh, what unhappi- ness --the beau monsieur —I can hardly be- lieve elieve it 1" "Believe what 2" Geraldine asked sharp- ly, reaenting the maid's freedom of Speeoh, "Then mademoiselle ham not heard ? I am the first to bring the news so ill l" " What do you mean? Tell me miokly 1" Geraldine cried, a strange fear seizing her. • But it seemed that Celeste either could not or would not speak lnoiclly, 1or,now she wrung her hands, exclaiming— "Ah, le pauvre Capitaine—mo young and ea beau I Milady, it is too tied!" "D i you mean Captian Btaithwaite ? Has anything'heppened to him ?" asked Gera!, ding„hor cheeks growing ashy pale, her dark eyes fixed piercingly upon the maid, as though she would read her inmost soul. 44 Al zjs out,” Oleate said slowly.: I heard. { it but lust now, He has been found—" pause4i Wdell ?' •-.iotpaeier}tly, as the maid , : "Murdered, -killed, what do you palled it 1 at• the bottem of a so dangerous preci- pice," A low mom broke from Geraldiue's white lips as she repeated the terrible word. "Murdered 7 Great Heaven, it is impos. able i There meet be some mistake, Ce- leste; it is ridiculous, Harry --Captain Braithwaite could have no enemies who should want to harm him I" She spoke rap- idly, trying, es it were, to convieoe herself of the falsity of Celeste's story, yet all the while feeling vaguely that itmoat be true. "Alt," she went on, as she noticed Celeste's i11 concealed eagerness, yet evi- dent timidity to nay more, ""y ou know some- thing farther—you have not told me all 1" " Pardon, milady, no ; but it is only a canard—gossip perhaps, I would rather not say ; mademosielle will hear it soon enough." " I Insist on knowing now—at once," Ger- aldine cried, springing forward and olutoh- ing Celeste's arm in a vice -like grip, as. though she feared she would endeavour to escape. The maid gave a little scream of alarm, and that momentheartilywiehed shelled left her naive to be told by other lips than her own. It was too late' however to draw baok, she knew hor mistress's character too well not to be certain that nothing but the whole truth would satisfy hor now, " Tell me, do you hear ?" M as Mainwar- ing repeated, giving her a shake that made her teeth chatter, partly from fright and partly from the suddenness of the assault. "I—I—they env that Captain Braith- waite was pushed over the precipice by a girl," Celeste jerked out, the daughter of a smith who ie black. She is very pretty, on dit, and monsieur le Capitaine used come times to talk to her." Tne woman having found her tongue, went on glibly enough now. "And then it is supposed—for of course no one can tell for oertain—that she had heard monsieur was going to be married and was jealous." At the last word. Mies Mainwaring releas- ed C-leste as suddenly ao she had seized her. " There—that will do 1" she said, with a harsh laugh, that sounded strange in the cicoumetenoes. "I shall not need your services, Celeste ; so you maygo. No" — as the girl was about to speak—" I should prefer to be alone." So the maid had no alternative but to obey, though she glanced a little dubiously at her young mistress as she turned to leave the room. "Mayoi, but she shows a strange sang- froid 1" Celeste muttered, as she traversed the corridor. " One would hardly believe that she has just received the news of her lover's death, And the other girl ? Ah, I can understand that 1 If he were perfide, what elite could she do Y" The girl shrugged her shoulders, and her black eyes Hashed, as if in sympathy with that " other girl." Meanwhile, Miss Mainwaring, left to her- self, dropped 310 her knees, and stretching out her arms on the chintz -covered conch, bowed her head upon them in the very acme of despair. It never occurred to her for one moment to doubt thetruth of Celeste's statement. Her oonein was dead. She accepted the fact un- questioningly ; but no tears came to relieve her tortured heart. She was stunned, par- alysed, as it were ; but it was not even Har- ry Braithwaite's tragical fate that paused that Intolerable anguish. At that moment she felt she could have born to lose him, had she know he had been true to her. It was the faot of his having been the contrary that was the groateet blow of all. That he was dead seemed to her but a small affair,sinoe he had not loved her — nay, even in her bitter despair and degradation, she was almost glad that it was so—glad that he would never belong to another wo. man, since she had lost him. It was a poor satiefaetfon, after all, and it brought but temporary comfort. The little ormolu clock on' the mantelpiece chimed the hour and still Geraldine crouched beside the couch, her dark unbound hair falling in wild disorder around her; great dark rime encir- oled her eyes, her hands were dry and fever- Ish, but atill,she had not wept. Presently there was a knock at the door. It was not like Celeste's brink little tap; and, as if in a dream, Geraldine slowly rose . and opened it. On the threshold stood Lady Braithwaite white and trembling, with traces of oxen - sive grief on her pale face and a general air of abandonment to sorrow, " Forgive me, my dear, I could not come before,' she said, entering at once, and closing the door softly behind her. "You have heard—" " T kuow all," Geraldine answered, in a cold hard voice, so strangely unlike her own that Lady Braithwaite glanced at her ner- vonsly and. shivered, " Who told you 2" " Celeste." After that brief question and answer there fell a silence upon the two women whioh neither of them seemed inclined to break. "You will forgive him—oh, Geraldine, you must forgive him 1" cried the elder lady at last, looking up with eyes swim- ming with tears "" I know you are judging him harshly. You said you knew all ; but that is not possible—nobody knows 1 Yet there may be, there must be some explana- tion for his interview with that wretched girl 1 No doubt he had deceived her, as—as he did me,", Mfaa Mainwaring said bitterly, with no softening of her voice, hut with the hard lines round her mouth growing still harder. "You aro cruel— cruel and unjust!" oried Lady Braithwaite, bursting into a fit of pas• donate weeping. " Oh, my boy, my bon- nie boy 1" If the sight of her aunt's grief moved her, Geraldine made no sign. A statue of Pariah marble doitld net have been mote chill and calm and motionless. She stood with her hands loosely clasped in front of her, gazing steadily and unseeingly before her. Lady ) ratthwaite'a fit of weeping ended at last— indeed, it seemed as if the fount of her teare were exhausted. She laybackinher chairnow almost as motionless as Geraldine herself. "Mean a thdsi taken Mill'?" <s" It was teeraldine who asked the question in clear unfaltering tones. "lute the literary. If yon could see him —oh, Geraldine, you loved him onoe--you would forgot hie faults, andw--and think of him more kindly 1" 4` Yea; Ilaved MIA Once," tett girl repeat- ed slowly, " How lotlg ago that seems now 1 I made a hero of him, I believed bim un selfish, true, and noble, a chivalrous gentle- man, generous and brave—I believed him all tide and mope mere .-until an hour ago, New that my idol has fallen from the ped- eetal on whioh I raised it, I can see of what very ordinary clay it was composed. Are you surprised that I am disappointed ? No, aunt l3ossie; it is because I loved your eon so dearly that 1• cannot find it in my heart, to forgive his---" " Stop, atop I" broke in Lady Braithwaite, putting her hands up to to her ears, "U— if he has wronged you, remember he is doad I" " Do not let us talk about it any more," Geraldine aaid, with a weary geature, "He was your son, and--" " And your lover," interrupted Lady Braithwaite again. "Sty rather Dolly Jarvis's," Miss Main- waring rejoined, with a daugerous flash in her dark eyee. Lady Braithwaite rose from her chair, Her face looked drawn and haggard; the shock had aged her terrioly. Geraldine, glancing at her for the first lime, botieed the change, and a sudden revulsion of feel- ing Dame over her. Her own trouble was great enough, but,,hardlyso great as that of the mother who had :seen her best loved sin struck down by a murderous hand while yet in the very prime of manhood and strength. Miss Mainwaring moved a step or two forward, and, as her aunt reached the door; she bent forward and kissed her gently.. " I am grieved for yon, dear aunt," she said softly, " In thinking of my own wounds, I have overlooked yours. Forgive ale ff I have s,emed harsh and unfeeling." Lady Braithwaite only replied by a pres- sure of the hand, and the next moment Ger- aldine was left alone once more. All through the hours of that memorable night the girl fought with her sorrow. Ce- leste came again to ask whether she could do anything for her young lady, but for the second timeawas summarily dismiaaad. When all was still, in the small hours of the morning, a tall pale figure enveloped in a loose cashmere robe oame slowly down the broad oak staircase. In one hand Geraldine carried a shaded lamp, with the other she held up her trailing skirts. Now and again she paused and glanced anxiously around, but at length she reached her goal With fingers that trembled a little, she unfasten- ed the library door and entered. In the centre of the room, on a hastily improvised bier, the outlines of figure could be clearly defined beneath the white covering. Half a dozen wax candles were sending a pale glelm across the chamber, making the shadows in the corners appear more deep by contrast. Geraldine had closed the door softly be- hind her, and, now seting down the lamp she slowly drew near that central object. Her hands were clasped tightly on her bo- som, which was heaving tumultuously, her breath came in thick gasping sobs, her eyes were fixed and strainer', whilst her face in ate ghastly pallor was almost as death -like as those other emotionless fea- tures upon which she was presently gazing. How calm and peaceful he looked 1 There was one ugly wound on the left temple, otherwise the face itself was not disfigured, though the hair, was in one place clotted with blood, and the left hand was terribly crushed. Death, even inthat cruel form, had not robbed Harry Braithwaite of his good looks ; he had been considered one of the handsoneat mea in the county The fair locks still clustered round hie broad white brow; but there was a strange expression on his face—a little tender smile was frozen on hie lips which the half -open eyes belied in their startled appearance. It seemed, almost impossible to , believe that he was really dead. Only a few hours ago he had ridden forth at Geraidine's side in all the abandonment of youth and good health. How gaily he had laughed and talked, how proud she bad been of her hand- some lover 1 And now—now, at the sight of his inanimate form, a wave of tender mem- ory began to stir the girl's heart. In his presence she forgot all his failings, even that he had been untrue to her; she remenbered him only at his beet, she recalled the time when they were ohildren together, and, la- ter, when he had been. her boyish slave and admirer—ay, even the happy days they had pawed in each other's society up to a few hours ago. Dolly Jarvis slipped from her memory altogether, or was banished as a hideous nightmare, And, so living over again the past, as she stood there, all Geraldine's cold, proud re- serve gave way, the ice that had b, en en- circling her heart melted sudddenly and her bitter resentment was replaced by the old tender feeling. In an agony of remorse and repentance, elle flung herself upon her kneea beside her cousin's still form; and, taking his cold hand in her own feverish palms, she bathed it with tears, kissing it passionately again and again. " Oh, my love,'my love," slier cried, "for. give me that I ever entertained one hard or cruel thought against you 1 For who am I that I should judge another ?" And in that hour of bitter anguleh Geral- dine Meinwaring's wounded aelf•love was healed. (To BE CONTINUED,) Bill Simpson's Darter. No matter how hard and ugly the truth is, it is more pleasing than the affectation of woat is not real. Exposure is certain to fol- low people who try to go through life be- hind a mask of false pretenses. We have little sympathy foo people like "Bill Simp- son's darter." A gentiem en traveling from Toronto to New York city toile the story : At Niagara, two ladies, dressed in the ex- treme of fashion, entered the oar. Their Manholes indicated great affectation and con- sequent shallowness. The only unoccupied seat in the car was directly behind a quite -looking lady, evi- dently from the country.Her dress was of calico, her bonnet of plain straw, and her her gloves were of cotton. She could hot - however, have looked neater, and the had a good, hottest face, As the fashionable ladies adjusted their draperies in the un000upied seat, one of them said to the other : 4" Don't yon think it too bad that there are now such poor ae,ommodationf*on rail. road truss 7" "Irow-in what way Y'' asiztd the Qom. p anion, Why here we are crowded with all classes of people, some f them ao common. Look at that person in front of us, "Horrid, isn't she?" "Perfectly dreadful," "Looks like a common laborer. "How annoying to have to come in con. toot with such people 1" "Belongs to some ordinary family. If one could only exolude one's self from such persons when traveling even short diq� tense 1 I suppose its horrid in me to say it, but I have all my life had such a repugnance to common laboring people, The lady in the calico dress meet have heard a part of this conversation, but her fade was perfectly composed, At that moment, an elderly man in homespun and home-made garments of a farmer, game down the aisle. He stopped before the ladies of fashion, closely sortttinix- ed the features of the one havfn "each a repugnance to common peep e," and just as the train stopped at a station, oried out loud enough to be heard by every 'person in the oar : " Looked hyar, ain't you old Bill Simp- son's darter ? But I know you air 'thout %skin', How de do, aoyhow 7 You don t change a speck. Got the same nose you had when you wor little gt1 o' twelve or fifteen years, trottin' b'rfoot round my old farm in Podunk county, " Yer mind how I yeast tes give yer two bits aday an' yer dinner for helpin' my youtiguns dig taters ! Ho 1 ho ! leo !" The yourg lady had dropped her beaded veil, and was nervously biting at her fan, but the farmer went on heedlessly; " They's beenmighty changes singes then. Your pap went out to Coloraday, an' made a big fortin' their, an' I hear you live in great style. But Bill Simpson ain't the man to fergit old frees, en' you tell 'im that you've saw old Jack Billings„ what youst to give him a-menny a day's work when he was so pore his family had ter waft till tho hens laid 'fore they could hey any break- fast. You kin remember that yerself, I reckon. An' there wa'n't nobody gladder nor me when per pap did gat rich so and - dint, for he was it mighty bard-workin' blacksmith, an' always pore 'cause of bad luck. My wife aez that she loot an 'awful good washer -woman when yer Ina moved, an' —I git off here. "Good -by ! good -by 1" The meekest, moat subdued person on that train during the rest of the trip was " Bill Simpson's darter," PIOUS,SMILES: A Georgia man has a hen twenty years old caring fora large brood,of little ohiok- ens of her own hatching. This would go to show that hens are good for something else besides eating.- ; - • , , "Two hundred and forty bones in the hu- man body," is the way it reads in the books ; but a short acquaintance with a boarding house mattress will make almost any man of spare build bet his last Dollar button there hasn't been a fair count. Digby met a friend who is terribly given to fibbing, and accosted him thus ; "Been to church to -day, Jones ?" "No," was the quick response ; ' I've been on the bed nearly all day," "Just as I expected," chimed in Dlg- b; ; "you're always lying." A young wife lately lest her husband, who was seventy years old. "But how 'did yon happen to marry a man of that age Y" asked one of her friends. "Why," said the young widow, "you see I only had the choice be- tween two old men, and, of course, I took the oldest." At a wa e e near Mallow one of the wakers named Horan fell asleep, and while he was unconscious a red-hot poker was put down his back. He sprang up, and in his writhing to get the poker oat he only burned his body more. Finally he rushed out and jumped in- to a pool of water, and now he will probably die. A story is told of the reporter of a Jewish paper who prepared an abstract of his rabbi's ser.nons, and on one occasion read it to the rabbi himself. " Stop 1 stop 1" said he, at the occurrence of a certain sentence, "I didn't say that." "I know you didn't," was the reply ; " I put that in to make sense." An English clergyman asked an unedu- cated woman whether abe liked his written or unwritten sermons the best. After think- ing a few momenta she said : "Why, I ioike yo the best without the book, because yo keep saying the same thing over and over again, and that helps me to remember what Ihear a good deal better," When a man with two heavy satchels is running to catch a street oar and a small boy turns the corner jut in time to get all tangled up with his legs, it is not perhaps the most fitting moment to shove a traot in. to his pooket addressed to "the profane man," but it is very apt to strike the mar- ket for which it was manufactured. Two men 'wore discussing material used for building purposes, and among the rest laths. Commenting on the fact that the pride of laths were comparatively high, one of them remarked : "I don't aee what in the world keeps laths up," when a third party, who never lets a chance go when he sees it, made the simple reply : ••Nails." A Scotch minister was once ordered "beef tea" by his physician. The next day the patient complained that it made him side, •" Why, minister," said the doctor, "I'll try the tea mysel'-" So, putting some in a skillet, he warmed it, and told the minister it was excellent. "Man," said the minister, " is that the way ye sup it?" " What ither way should it be euppit ? It's excellent, I say, minister." "It may be pude that way, doctor; but try it wi' the dream and sugar, man 1 try it wi' that, and then see hoo ye like it 1" "Gentlemen aro requested not to shoot when an honorable member is in line with the Augustus P. Collies window.' This pathetic Inscription was once to be feurd in the place of meeting of a Western Legisla- ture. Augustus P. Conine had batriotioel- ly prosentad the Senate with a valuable stained-glass window, and it wait felt that it would be unworthy of an eeenomio State to get it broken by casual re' lver. shots. Leoielators could shoot each other or the Speaker just as well without "drawing* bead" on the Augustus 1?. Collins window.