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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Advocate, 1887-08-04, Page 7B011011‘ igImP,"?.ePtal. hrougla life we build our monuments Of honor and; pothiepapt fam6i The little and the greet events Are Oleelca Of dlorrer el eluting. The modest,humble and obscure, Living unnoticed and unknown, May raise a shaft that Vvill endure. Lenger than pyramids of stone. •The carven statue turns to dust, And marble obelisks decay ; But death) of pity, faith pal trust No 001114 At ft4e cn Sweeil away. Their base stands on the rook of right, Their apex roaches to tlae skies; They glow with the increasing light Of all the circling centuries. Our buildinimust be good or bad ; In words we speak, in deeds We dol On sand or granite must be laid The theft that shows us false or true. Dow do wo build—what can we show For hours anddays and years of toil? Is the foundation tirm below? Is it on rock or sandy soil? The hand that lifts tho fallen up, That heals it heart or binds a wound, That gives the needed crust and cup, Is building upon solid ground, Is there a block of stainless white Within the monumental wall, On which the sculptured skill can write; " He builded well; so should avp all!" Intalligencer. A Fish Jewel Case. Gilea Busby, a Toledo fishmonger, was cleaning a white fish last Monday, and in the larger intestines of the fish he found a diamond ring. The ring had engraved upon its inner surface "J. A. B., Chicago, '69." Busby forwarded the ring to the Chief of Police in this city. Yesterday Mrs. Julia A. Lennox, of 12 Lennox. place, identified and recovered the ring. She tells an interesting story of its loss. In 1869 she, as Miss Bennett, became engaged to Mr. Lennox, and he gave her this diamond ring, for which he paid $450. 1Jpon their bridal trip in 1871 Mrs. Lennox lost this ring; while she was washing her hands in the toilet room of the Penman car the ring slipped from laer finger and dropped through the waste pipe. As the train happened to be crossing the bridge over the St. Law- rence River, near Montreal, just at that time the bereaved bride had no hope of re. covering the ring. • There are no white fish in the St. Lawrence; the theory is that a small fish seized upon the ring, and that at some futhre time this small Ash, while cruising about the lakes, fell a prey to the • white fish in ivhich the long.lost ring was discovered. Giles Busby, the Toledo fishmonger, receivedfrom Mr. Len - :110X a check for 9100 for his honesty.—Chi- cage News. DI4BOLIPAL PONCERIN gen. Ss. cox Describes the Song of the !Donkeys ef Priulcipos, The following is an extract from the Hon. S. S. Cox's recent Tammany speneh Last slimmer it was my pleasure to live in one of the isles of the princes. It is called Prinkipos. It is a few miles below Con- stantinople in the Sea of Mannora. It is a sort of Saratoga for Pleasure and health. Seekers, set on a mountainous island of pines—a paradise—a new South, bursting out of the old harried Propontis ! There was oPe drawback to the pleasures of Pripkipos. The isle, like that of Shaks- peare's "Tempest," was "full Of Strange noises "—not the nightingale in the even- ing, nor the cocks at dawn, nor the shep- herds, nor the vendors of fish, nor the dry cicada, nor the flap of the American flag in front of our legation. Thesewere pleasures, and they did not interrupt my morning dreams, but harkl vvheia the sun paints in gold and purple the Asian mountains, I hear an equivocal sort of bruit. Is it the distant thunder of Jove from Mount Olympus, in sight of our isle? Is it the rolling of the Ismid train across the channel? starts afar! It approaches! It is—No? .Yes? It is the gran&diapa. son of the jackasses. (Roars of prolonged laughter.) It frights the isle from its pro- priety. Be it known that the 1810 IS fill' of donkeys. They carry water and vegetables —and tourists—up and down and over the mountains. 1 dm not unfriendly to the donkey. He has a good name for patience and industry. I was familiar with them in and out of Congress. I admire their courage. They can whip a California grizzly. When Jack saluteirjenny, though miles apart, then the jubilee of noisy affection begins. It is an infernal concert, amorous, jocund and ear -benumbing. It starts with an exaggerated case of asthma. (Laugh- ter.) This rasps your soul. The beast loses, than catches its breath with a harsh, squealdsh sibilation, until a roar as of forty hungry lions comes toits relief. (Laughter,) All the powers of wheezy, whistling, gasp- ing euotion are exhausted. Then follow terrific expirations of the bellowing mons- ter. (Laughter.) Suction and emission— repeated with damnable iteration "— until the noise dies out in on agony unutter- able. I used to hear when a boy the creak- ing of the untarred wheels of the Conestoga waggon from Pennsylvania. I have lately heard the screaming shadoof, turned by blind buffalos, pumping the Nile upon the fruitful land of Egypt, but never before or since have I heard such a diabolicalconcert as this braying of the donkeys of Prinkipos. Is a Bustle a Garter? Mr. Justice Kekewich was occupied yes- terday with the hearing of an action relat- ing to patents in dress 'improvers. The court was strewn with various specimens of these articles, and considerable amuse- ment was caused by the spectacle of a judge and several leading counsel, includ- ing the Attorney -General, arguing gravely on the intricacies of the various designs for dress improvers. Mr. Justice Kekewich, after looking at several designs, said: I hope you are going to produce another of these articles, Mr. Aston, which I do not see here. It is called the Jubilee. (Laughter.) Mr. Aston—I have never heard of it, my Lord. His Lordship—It is one which when a lady sits down playa the National Anthem. (Great laughter.) Later on Mr. Aston argued that a dress improver was virtually the same as a gar- ter. His Lordship—Do yon mean that seri- ously. Mr. Aston—Yes I do, my Lord. They are the same, though not in size. His Lordship—Very well, Mr. Aston, I ce.ia see I shall want a jury of matrona on this case before it is done.—Pal Mall Gazette. The City Man as a Farmer. (Prom Our Country Rome.) CAPITAL STOCK SLUT rEdlt. 0 Conceit. 0 Money. 0 Farm. o Practical Knowledge. o Experience. CAPITAL STOCK END OF TEN YEARS. 0 Experience. 0 Practical If.nowledge, o Fatmi. O Money O Conceit. Attacked by is Steer. Mr. Andrew Aitken, of'Paris station,was attacked by a steer on the road the other day. After dodging the first charge, Mr. Aitken made for the fence, but before he got there the wild steer was upon him, threw him to the ground, and began a say - age attack on his prostrate form. Mr. Aitken is not only a courageous man but a man of cod nerve. He kept his presence of mind at this moment of deadly peril and managed by a series of quick movements to avoid a thrust frOm the long, sharp horns. Finally the oppottunity he wanted arrived. Turning qilickly on his back he grasped the nose of the beast as it made blind lunge at him, and held it by the cartilage in a vice like grip. His extraordinary strength enabled hun to retain his hold, which he increased with the other hand, and se he held the steer until the drover got a rope and tied its barns to ita fore leg. 114.1.1141,41t .41.X.T4* Sarnia *On Prefers Pnatit to *Ott'IntntlY• A Paseefiger Who arrived hnre 'ant even- ing from Sarnia tella of a atartling tragedy that took Place in that town yesterday. It would peern that a carpenterpamed Frank Howard baa recently been paying marked attentions to a Miss Lafarge, whose friends are said to live in Tilbury Centre. Matters finally came to a oriels, and the pair were to have been married yesterday at the Farmers' Hotel in Sarnia: All the prepa- ratione were made, the would -bo bride, the witnesaes and the clergynaan ware on time, but the bridegroom was missing. After waiting fpr a considerable time a general search was instituted, and the dead body of Howard was found suspended by a rope to one of the beams in the barn on the hotel premises. It was evidently a we of suicide, the motive for which has not yet transpired.—London Advertiser. How the Monkey stole the Money. In a house on the Boulevard Napoleon of Toulouse a woman locked up her money in a desk and went out shopping; on her return she missed three napoleons, a gold five -franc piece and a franc in silver. There was no trace of a burglary. Very much bewildered by these losses, the good wonae.n was deep in reflection over the matter when she heard a roar of laughter from her neighbor's garden. " Oh, the thief 1" cried several persona at once. " Where has he stolen this 2" The' dame descended instantly, ran out and said: Ok ! my money, mesaieura ; where is the thief ?" " He is up a tree, madame " pointing up to a monkey in a high branch above them, "but here is the money 1" The monkey, who certainly would be an in- valuable assistant to a burglar, had been seen to climb into the window of one of the good lady's rooms, had unlocked a drawer, found the money and, concealing it in his jowl, had brought it to his master. I find that no less an authority than Buffon de- clares that a female chimpanzee who went out to service at Loango made the beds, swept the house and so far assisted in the cooking as to turn the spit, M. de Grand - pre an officer of the French navy, tells of another chimpanzee, on board a French man-of-war, which assists the cook and turria the capstan and furls sail as well as any of the sailors. In China monkeys help in the tea picking, and Lord Monboddo used to gravely contend that apes could talk readily enough, but that their superior cunning told them to hold their tongues leat they should be put to hard work.—Leeds Mercury. A Life Wasted on Perpetual motion. George Johnson, aged 78, died at the Bristol Town Farm on Sunday. He was an interesting character, his chief notoriety being in his effort to perfect perpetual motion. He became so engaged in this snb- ject about 40 years ago, at the time of the perpetual motion craze, that his mind be- came unbalanced, and since that time he contrived several ingenious devices which are curiosities. Mr. Johnson was a me- chanic of more than common skill in the use of tools, yet he was neVer able to use his ability to aecumulate any property.— Hartford Times. Slow Starvation. Rev. D. Frank Culley, missionary.) to Labrador coast of the Society for the Pro- pagation of the Gospel, has published a letter in the St. John's (Nfld.) Mercury, in which a painful account of the slow star. vation of the people is detailed. Ile cites instances where villages had to subsist on rock cOd for months; where men walked hundreds of miles for flour and could only get one barrel. Driven to Beaperation. Jack—What 1 Ate you smoking eigar- ettee ? Harry—Yee, clash it all 1 Cora tefused ray offer of marriage last night, and I don't care now what becomes of me.—Tid I3its. Lonely Jacob's Ladder. , Onalonat Whitney, the highest Mem- tain in CalifOtaitt, at a 1061 14,000 feet above the two, and 1,500 feet above the titri bet hne, where there is no soil ancl h� moieture tale anew and hell and ice, there grostai a little flower shaped like' a bell flOwet, gaudy in Colors of red; purple ma cane a Jgga,,g tadagt, gha itg biug. It is ' fragrance partakes Of the white'jasmine It blootnii alOtie, for it nobonlhasn�floral , aliSoolate, hat there 19 xO ereetate, not even. ' a Mid et insect, to keep it cempitny. Eureka .(Nev.) getteinel.. • • It is Within the pest 500 yenta' that *Onion have &jaded publicly With inert. %tab, firet bggiii, the ettatOni, hut the Chat& entiderened it. Strand Advice. Ai innooent Cheyenne mat wrote to a Deaver sport the other day and asked the question: "How eriai i ratan get rieh at palter ?" The sport premptly replied : "Don't poke." --'.Denver News. Latest from the Northwest. Superintendent White, of the C.F.R, who has just returned from the West, gays the trestle bridges between Calgary and Donald, B.C., will be made to give place to iron bridges. Mr. Burgess, Deputy Minister of the Interior, has returned from his Western trip and will await here the Arrival of the Minister of the Interior. Gophers are doing considerable damage in some portions of the Territories. Mr. Crawford, a member of the Northwest Council, says that the municipality of Indian Head, Mitch offers a bonus for their i destruction, n the month of May last paid for seventy-five thousand tails at three cents per tail. The United States authorities having granted the extradition of Fent, Chief Mc - Rae's assailant, lie was brought to,the city to -night. Mr. Daly, M.P., was banquetted by his Constituents at Brandon to -night. The general tone of the speeches shows that the Province is entirely united on the subject of disallowance, though a portion of the West does not like the way in which Win- nipeg has been, according to their views exclusively running thinga. A Victoria, B.C., despatch states that the Grand Trunk Railway will apply to the British Columbia Legislature at its next session for a franchise for a railway through Yellowhead Pass and Chilcoutin county via Bute Inlet to Esquirealt Already between five and six miles of the Red River Valley Railway have been graded. Captain W. C. B. Graltarn,,,,Alominion Immigrant Agent, has received a despatch informing him that 822 Icelanders left Glasgow en route to Manitoba on July 7th by the steamer Buenos Ayres. The party is expected to arriye in Quebec do Monday and to reach Winnipeg at the end of next week. The Icelanders who arrived last Saturday have not yet taken up land, but have nearly all secured situations. Hon. Alexander Mackenzie and Mr. Duncan McIntyre passed through the city for Banff this morning. The ex -Premier appeared to be still very weak. About $100,000, will be expended this year in the construction and repair of Northwest Mounted Police barracks. It is believed that *there is every likeli. hood of the construction of the Northwest Central Railway being deferred for at least another year. A Cheerful Believer. A farmer stood dt the Ithaca gas tell yesterday end -sadly declared it was just ruining Bible prophecy to dig such things. On being asked to explain he said "11 Ithe oil end gas is ell pumped out of the • earth don't it stand to reason that there Will bo nothing left inside for the Anal burning lip Of the world. It is just spoil. lag Bible proplieby, and ought to be stop- Okiette. 4 Care for VintoPPItig CoP1111. „ Maryhill is a lerge and important suburb Of Glaagow, On Thursday a travelling candy -man and rag -gatherer, with a cart drawa by an Asa, drew pp in front of a row �f houses known as Pirrat'a row, a little off the highway at Matylaill, Glasgow. Two children living in this quarter are suffering from whooping cough. After a short coa- vereationwith the proprietor of the ass, the Mothers of the two children took up a posi- tion, one en each sido of the animal. One womaa then took one of the children and passed it below the ace's belly to the other woman, the child's face being toward the ground. The woman on the other side caught hold of the child, and, giving it 4 i gentle somersault, handed t back to the other woman over the ass, the child's face being toward the sky. The process having been re- peated threetimes, the child was taken away to the house, and then the second child was similarly treated. While this was going on two other children were brought to undergo the magical cure. In order that the operation may have its due effect the ass must not be forgotten, and at the elope of the ceremony each mother must carry her child to the head of the animal and allow it to eat something, mob as bread or biscuits,out of the child's lap. This proceeding having been performed in turn by the four mothers, the prescribed course was concladed. When it began there was not many people present, but before it was finished quite a number of Spectators had gathered. From inquiries made it Beanie the mothere are thoroughly satisfied that their children are the better of the enchantment—Notes and Queries. The Scribe at the Circus. Oh, the drums were heard and the pic- colo note as the circus up -town paraded, and the shorn -off mule and whiskered goat and the elephant umber shaded. I followed it calmly at early morn, my work and my labors spurning, and I harked to the sound of a rusty horn with a wild and unhallowed yearning. Few and short were the tunes they played, and they paused not at all to monkey; so I slowly followed the, route they made at the heels of the lop-eared donkey. I bought up a seat at the show that night, e.nd looked at the limber woman, who tied herself in a knot so tight she seeme&more like hemp than human. And I eagerly looked at the wondrouableke who swallowed some cotton blazing, and blew frorn his nostrils a cloud of smoke till I thought he was sheol raising. And I watched the clownas he ran and rolled and stood in a dozen poses, and worked off a string of jokes so old they came from the time of Mose.—Atchison (Kan.) Giebe. The Address of versus and Adonis. The non-delivery of a telegram sent from Manchester to Lichfield a week or so ago was attended by some amusing circum- stances. Some old tapestry was lent by Mr. Litchfield, an art dealer, to the Jubilee Exhibition, and, requiring the return of a certain panel, he particularized in his tele. gram by stating the size and subject, "Venus and Adonis," ending the message with sender's name "Litchfield." A clerk at Once replied to "Venus and Adonis, Lichfield," and after making every effort to deliver the message, the Post -Office officials were constrained to wire back to Manches. ter that no Venus and Adonis could be found in the cathedtal city.—Eleetrical Review. French as.She is Spoke. Mrs. A. (who is taking French lessons) --" Now, Bridget, when Prof. Blanque comes you must say 4 eiatrez ' to hilt, and he will know what you mean and come into the parlor." The bell tinge and)3ridget goes to the door. It is the prcifessor, "Ontario," says Bridget. " Wud ye walk into the parlor, aur ?" The professor walked in, and Bridget reported her triumph to the cook.--Harper's Bazar. War to the Halite. ' Mao Shiawsgarden (of St. Louitate Miss Breezy, of Chicago)—"NVell, how is every- thing in Chicago? Dull, as usual, I sup pose." 'Miss Bteezy--" No, things are looking very bright. Hdcv is the paaturage in St. Louis "—Char/Mod News and Courier. In acres a .054•giiiiitintg Made by the Oiu� Agrietiltirrel Eltpetibient Station on riebbilge *Bus, ihe Moat effieacleani terriedy was fotrid tb bei Mixture of one entice of pyrctbztziwith tonektlheat flout. That ie the hat rielel I shell elerread," said .4 gentlemen, throWing the beck datla ia disgust i "Whist's the Matter!, 'abet ?" inqiiired hie tlife• "deslaii't it end happily?" NO, they were inarkied." Egyptian Street Cries. The street cries of any city are ful/ of interest, but those of Eastern thorough- fares are partioularly significant. • The Muskee, of Cairo, its great native street, is e, singular, Oriental looking place, always crowded with strange people, calling some- what after this fashion: • Seller of sugar and water—Refresh thy heart! Quench the heat Seller of raisin water—It is well clarified. Oh my son! By the life of thy father, it is well clarified I Milkman—Let our morning be white I Pretzel seller -0 all nourisher 1 0 all good 1 0 determiner 1 0 omniscient pretzels! Beggar—I am the guest of God and of prophet. I have not yet breakfasted. Passer-by (in reply)—God opens to thee the hearts of 'men! Another (to one sneezing)—Praise God I Thank God 1 All present—God ha.ve mercy on you! The sneezer—God guide me and you! God reward you Muezzin (from a mosque)—God is greatest! I declare that there 18 00 god but God 1 I declare that Mohammed is the prophet of God! Come to prayer Come to salvation! Prayer is better than sleep! God is very great! There is no God but God! Seller of wheat cake—These belong to thee, 0 fasting man! How they did knead thee in the night, 0 cakes! Rose seller—The rose was a thorn; she bloomed frord the sweat of the prophet. And thus the cries continue, hour after hour and day after day. Ethics of Gambling. Paterfamilias (at the breakfast table)— "Mabel, I have learned that young Goit- hard, who comes to see you, gambles oo- casionally." Daughter (composedly)—"Oh,you mustn't believe all you hear, pa." P.—" Well, I know he has been seen play- ing billiards, and you must drop him. Nice way for a young man to begin life. Let me have the part of the paper with the stock market, please." D.—" Certainly, pa. I don't think there is a great deal of harm in billiards." P. (warmly)—" The loser pays, and what is that but gambling, eh? (Consults his paper.) Yes, gambling. That's the only word for it— What! hello! Big drop in Sou' -sou' west-half-west-little.western Gracious gimenil Five hundred gone at a single slap Whew 1 I was an idiot to risk it." D.—" What's the matter, pa ?" • P.—" Ah—a—a—nothing, nothing. A. little disappointment; that's all."—Phila- delphia Inquirer. The Patdiig CficlW4. ;lad yop over stand in the PrP'/Y4Pd Street, In the light'of a Pity lamp, And listto the tres,d of thenIflion feet In their 9144141y musical tramp'? Asthe surging erowd goes to and he, a pleasant eight between, Td mark the figures that .come aud go 14 the oyer -changing Scene. gore the publican walkswith the sinner proud And the priest M bits. gloomy cowl, And Dives stalks in tbo motley crowd With Lazarus cheek by jowl; And the (laughter of toil, with her Young heart As pore as her spotless fame, Koops oter with the woman whe makes her mart In the haunts of sin and shame. Villen time shall have beaten the day's tattoo, And M dusky aranor night Is treading with eoholoss footstep through The gloom Of the silent night, genie few Of these shall be daintily fed And sink to slumbers sweet, While naany will go to a sleepless bed With never a crumb to eat I • Ala, me I when the hours go joyfully by, Row little wp stopped to heed Our brothers' and sistersdespairing cry In thar woe and bitter need. Yet such a world as the angels sought • This world of ours we'd can, If the brotherly love our Father taught Was felt by each for all. -Why Hannah Left the Church. A lady was relating to me the other day her trials and tribulations in the matter of arranging the household machinery so that the inevitable hitches and jars of the inner workings should not be apparent to the out- side world. In describing the various idiosyncrasies of servants which had come under her notice she said : " Some years ago I had a good settled white woman as house servant, who, though of most ex- emplary deportment in every ether respect, seemed to consider Sundays as in nowise different from the other days of the week. Finally I said to her: 'Hannah, why don't you take your Sandays off Yeti should take some advantage of the oppportunity to go to church.' You can appreciate my feelings when she replied Well, Mrs, —, I used to go reglar to church, but never jined. My next door neighbor was a shoutin' member, and I tell you what she done --she scalded my dog. That's ben twenty years ago and I ain't never went to church made." —1Vashingten Capita/. The Old MAIMS at the Jubilesze Ati elderly maiden lady, living near Sid. cup, wrote to the Lord Chamberlain a few weeks ago sayingthat she believed every class of Her Majesty's subjects would be represented at the Abbey excepting one, 'the old maids" of Her Majesty's Donna - ions, and she asked for two tiekets to have the honor of representing the "old nuaids," wishing to have a lady friend to accom- pany her. In due outset she received a polite reply from LordLathoin, saying that howl's "quite unable to resist the force of her argument," arid Weald, therefore, send her. a ticket for the Abbey, whither, of couree, the Old lady Went on Tuesday week. —London Court Journal. Lord Palmerston need to say that one Of his best services tb the citiantry was the pur- chase of the camp ground at Aldershot for fifteen poundri pet acre. Slade thein dad largely as a consequence of the establish. nient of the camp, land at Aldershot has been sold at the rate of 4 thouiand pounds an are. 4 Cat and a Parrot. The Danbury News says: Dr, Snow has a very fine cat and a parrot. Both occupy prominent quarters in his office, the cat most of the time monopolizing his chair, end the parrot confined ha a cage hangs beside a window. As is natural, the cat and parrot have become friends and take great haterest in each other. The other day the doctor returned from his round of calls, and on entering his office was met by his cat, which seemed to be evincing great uneasiness. She ran on before him ansi kept looking up and mewing; she would advance a short distance ahead of him and then run back. The doctor concludedthat she was hungry and went and procured a piece of meat and offered it to her. She refused to touch it, but kept up her run- ning back and forth. Finally she sprang upon the sill of the open window and looked out and mewed. This called the doctor to the window, and he looked out, and then discovered the cause of the oat' e distress, the parrot, which was walking majestically about the yard in the grass. He had escaped from his cage and flown out of the window, and the cat was trying to tell her master about it. She 'Succeeded by her sign lan- guage. The parrot was easily capturedand returned to his quarters. A Toronto Boy's Romantic Adventures. Four years ago Willie Noland, then aged 9, ran away from his home in this city, bent on striking out for himself, His fam4Y made every effort to locate him; but without avail, His brother'Mr. Richard Noland, of the Montreal House, never, however, gave up the search, and as late as Wednesday last wrote to a friend in the States inquiring if he had seen or heard anything of the adventurous lad. 13y a strange coincidence the youngster turnesi up at the hotel yesterday—well dressed, healthy and with more than "$15 in his inside pocket." The joy attending the re- union between the two brothers may be imagined. Young Noland has been all over the continent since he left Toronto, having got, into the circus business. His presence in the city at this time is due to the fact that he is travelling with Burk's show as a contortionist. His professional name is Willie Leroux, and his perform- ances aro wonderfully clever. There was a. happy time at the Montreal House last night over the lost having been found.— Toronto World. Two Midsummer Love Stories. A young German carpenter was married. te a pretty Bohemian girl in Omaha the other day after a six months' courtship, which must have been conducted entirely in pantomime, as neither can speak a word. of the other language. The services of an interpreter were needed at the altar, but the young couple seemed as happy as if they had talked Sweet nothings into each. other's ears all their lifetime. A romantio wedding took place at Ed- wardsville, Ill., the other day, when Prof. James 0. Duncan, of Vandalia, a widower, was married to Mrs. Lillie Carroll, or Springfield, a widow. The marriage was the culmination of a series of coincidents in the lives of the wedded pair. The Rev. J. B. Thompson, who performed the cere. reony, officiated in the same capacity at. Prof. Duncan's firstnaarriage and also at Mrs. Carroll's fired marriage and preache& the funeral sermon at the death of Prof. Duncan's wife and at the death of Mrs. Carroll's husband. It was this strange fatality of circumstances which induced the couple to seek again the services of Mr, Thompson. A Jubilee Story. TWO Scotch fiehwives in London were talking about the Jubilee the other day. "Eh, wurnman," said one to the other "catr ye tell me what a jubilee is, for I hear a the folk spakin' aboot it ?" "On ay," replied the other, " I ean tell ye that; ye see, when a man and a wununan haa been rnarrit for five.and-twenty year, that's a Biller waddin' ; and vhen they've been niarrit for fifty year that's a gouden wad, din' ; but when the man's deed, that's a. jubilee 1" Cath John. - Chinamen entertain very exalted idearl of justiee. The other day a citizen'who left shirt at a Chinese latnulry to be washed ana reased, was told when he went to get it that it had heed lost. The Celestial washerznan said ha Might, perhaps, find the miesing article Some day. "But r Want it now,' said the °wrier. "Bally good. Don't be afield," was the, rcpby' If 1 tO bnd shirtee, yen no pay tar Washee."—Torento tknew Their Friends. A young phyllician who laitcl recently hung out his sign came hOme one day in high apirite. "Do you know, my tlear" he loll to hia wife, " Prix teeny becoming quite well known here. The undertakers bow to me lready." "Does Ian Stirling liVe bete ?" askea a meehanie of a Warned' he Met at the door. " 'Yes, sir." '‘ I haVe come Agwn to Olean out his furnace". "You're just a Met. late. I the sheriff has lust been here."