Wingham Times, 1892-12-02, Page 7EO Bought a vr,
Bill Barnes carne over to his son in•.
law's house«lust week and said : Sohn
do you want to buy half of my cow ?
How mach do you want for half ?
asked John.
Ten dollars, answered Bill.
Al! right, Here is your money.
Guess you had better write me out a
receipt,
Yes ; here you aro. Now, I want
you to sign an agreement that you
will feed your half of the Cow will
you?
Certain] y.
John signed the agreement and Bill
went of huuitning Maggie Murphy's
Comrades', says the Arkinsew Travel -
Next day John went over to Bill's
house.
Hello, John, said Bill. What do
you want over here'?
Come to get half .the milk.
Half the milk 2
Yes; I own half of that caw you
know.
Yes. I know ; but you don't get
any milk,
Why 1
Cause it was the front half of the
.Dow I sold you.
What f
Yes, that's what. You., don't get
any milk. I sold' it all, any way.
'There 1
Well, I'll see all about that, and
John went home making the atmos-
phere feel blue.
About four hours later . Bill carne
..evi±r to John's house ant yelled :
You, John Smith.
Well 1 yelled back John.
Do you want the cow to starve 1
" What do you mean 1
. You oeu the front half of that cow
and you've got to feed it, that's ail.
I've got your agreement > that you
would anti ---
---the cow and you too. You'll
find some food for her in the barn,
yon blamed pirate. • Yoh darned---=
\Nell you've get a cheek'1
I have '1 Think you have. \\' hat
tlo,you mean 1
Do you mean that I am going to
pack fodder for your half of that cow '1
Oh --
And you ,just bring seine w ater or
that cow will d,e with thirst.,
Then Bill walked away.
Bill came lintjling over to John's
house the next hulking
What is the matter now? asked
John.
flatter enough, said Bill. You own
the front half of--
• Hang it, yes , so yon say.
Well, that oow,hoolted ale.
Oh, she £lid ?
Yes.
•Willi ?
I'm thinking about suing you for
damages.
Oh. are you ?
Yes, but I'm willing to comprise. •'
Al
Yes, yon give me $50 and your half
of that Dow and I won't gay anything
about it,
Why Ile. Wonted tilto Money,
Wily, no, said Mr 1?erk, the grocer,
iu a surprised tone, in reply to Benny
Blemburr ptir's request. 1 haven't any
work I eau give you just now, .flow
is
ib that you are asking for something
to do ? Ai: well-dressed boy like you
does not often asli for an odd job,
011, sir, replied Benny, if you but
knew how anxious I am to earn a
quarter yon would surety give the a
few errands to preform.
You can't be hungry, can you
Oh, no, sir. I have had my usual
While service was in progress in
ono of the churches at Berth a yawns
woman Walked to the pulpit and per-
ABlessing to Every household.
sistently requested the astonished
preacher to marry her. The organist
struck up a loud peal, nod tae wonian
---who was demented—was taken in
charge by friends, and with difficulty
induced to leave the church,
IIIIVIalATlslt CORER INA DAL—SOB/11
American Itbeuniane Cure of Bb.eurnatism
and Neuralgia radically cures in l to 3
days. Its action upon the system is re
markable and 'mysterious, It removes at
once the muse of the disease immediately
number of meals so far to-d?y. fits. 75 Dents. Warranted at Chisholm's
Do you want to give it to a poor drug Store.
widow or to ablind man?
No, sir. 1 do not recall end such
unfortunates,
Do you want to put it in the mis-
sionary'box ?
No, sir, My parents provide me 11,,
with money for that purpose, Stvrup" for Children Teething. Its valueis inoalmul•
able, It will relieve) the poor little soifor.+r
You want to go to the tniustrel show immediately. Depend upon it, mothers; there is no
mistake about it, It cures Dysentery and Diarrhtoa,
regulates the Stomach and 73owels, ourea Wind Colic,
disappears, The first dose greatly bone,
Little Boy—Matnma, may I go fish-
ing ? No my son, kin afraid you'll
get .drowned.,; but yen may go around
to the grocery and buy me a mackerel
AOvICA TO Siornpas.—Aro you tustnrceu at night
and broken of your rest by a sink child suffering and
Crying wltn pain of Cutting' Teeth? If so scud at
once end got.t bottle of "Alrs,lVinsiow'a Soothin
perhaps.
You have not yet guessed my need,
of the money, sir;
Softens the Gums, reduces Itlflammation, and glees
tone and energy to the whole system. "Mrs. Win.
slow's Soothing Syrup " for children teething' is
pleasant to the taste and is the prescription of one of
the oldest and beat male physicians and nurses in
Then what in the world do you throUnited tsthe world. ands fPriceatwe,ty-five ceall nts e a ists i
want it for 1 • bottle. Be euro and ask for ",tae. Wise.ow'8
SooTamro SYRUP and talc' no other kind
Oh, sir, replied. the distressed 'boy You•ueedn't take a rniiii's word for
toy mother, said she would cut my hair) it that he has dropped from the clouds
atter supper to -night, and 1 aro ex -1
treniely anxious to let the barber pre-
1"orm the work before that tithe.
y poor boy, replied the inau,deep•
ly moved, come right in. I'll give you t K+mw thys?If is good advise, but
a quarter's worth of errands to run. know about your uei:;hbari is the gen-
Which he did.— E.iarper's Bazar. sera! practice;
ri
These remedies have stood the test of fifty years ot:norience, and are prononl red the best Medicines.
Validly use.
T''S.ar1 apt
auridt tiro blood,? correct all disorders of the LIVES, ST119tACIl, IfIONI1YS ANP BOWELS d
invaluable in all complaints incidental to females of all apts,
TI 11,1 OI T ,TO :IN.T
Is the only reliable minds for bad legs, son's, ulcus, and old wounds. FOR. l3Ijo CIt{l .ia. at
TUROATS, COUGHS, ('OLDS,' GOUT, 1tVElt7MtTISAI, GLADULAIt hP.1:11.1NGS AM) ALI,b;
DISEASES IT HAS NO EQUAL. -Manufactured only at 75, New Oxford. i.ate 1 ( ford turret, 1.nc4
and sold by ail Medicine Venders throughout rho world.
r,"-V'Purhasers should look to the Label n,+ the Boxes and. Dots It ;lie nstdrese
not 533 Oxford Street. Loudon, they ice spurious.
because there is no dust on his shoes,.
May le his wife blacked them before he
wee up in ilia morning.
Ripens Tabules Duro indigestiolr,
After six hours of talk Jobs paid -
the honey and the old man went
Away.
Catarrh in the head is a constitution
disease, and requires a constutional rein
edy like Hood's Sarsaparilla,. to effect a
mire.
j. A Weiner is a mats who has lots
more enthusiasm than he has anything
to keep it on.
One of the devil's est means of
keeping a woman from earnest living
is tittle-tattle.
Blotohes Cured,
Dnau Stns,—In 1800 my body was (sever-
ed with blotebee and I was at last induced
to try T3urdoek Blood Bitters ; by the time
Iliad used 21,4 bottles of it 1 was template.
ly oured, and 1 cannot speak too highly of
MYts JAMES DESN+OND, ilalilax N S.
"It Cured Mother,"
GENTLEMEN, -My mother was suffer-
ing from dyspedsia itud had no ap -
petite. Everything failed to cure her until
one day, while visiting a friend's house, I
saw a bottle of B 13 13 on the table ; on in-
quiring what they used it for, I soon found
out what it cured, and when I went home
told mother that she should try it, Not
withstendiug her objection I went in the
evening and brought home a bottle but it
was in the house a week before we could
induce her to take it. At last as.she was
getting worse ail the time she oouseutod'to
try it, and on taking half the bottle found'
it was curing her. Another bottle cured
her and we believe saved,her life. We are
never without B B B now. It is such a
goud remedy for headache as well.
• E \VusroN, 15 Dalhousie st, Montreal.
The man who sells ;mods with a
short yard stick would stoat the found•
dation stones of heaven if he could eat
at them.
Tb'a .lnr►sgty1tc might have bean
r ;,,i ...ih tl, if it had
A Few Definitions.
A Capitalist—One who takes
Some people impart infarmlitioe
' veru innolt ',s a hedgehog abide his
I quil•s.
Ladies appreci ate Anti -Dandruff from
the foot that it not only thoroughly re-
moves Dandruff with three applications,
but stops falling of the hair, restores fad-
ing hair to its original c -lar, and makes it
soft and pliable without leaving any rust •
cation of a dressing being used —clear as
orystal, clean to use, it 1.1 a valuable toilet
preparation.
I There is soinething wrong with the
farmer who will tie up his dog et night
and tit his bov ran the streets-,.
\Vhee the ;,eagle find out that a matt !
is menu at home, they don't care how
good he pr"f"ises +u he at church,
REGULATE THE
q
STOMACH, LIVER P>9 BOWELS,
- AND -
PURIFY THE BLOOD.
A RELIABLE REMEDY FOR
Indigestion, Biliousness, Headache, Constipation,
Dyspepsia, Chronic Liver Troubles, Dizziness, Bad
Complexion, Dysentery, Offensive Breath, and all
disorders of the Stomach, Liver and Bowels. # -
Ripans Tabules contain nothing injurious to the most delicate eonstitu.
tion. Pleasant to take, safe, effectual. Give immediate relief. Sold by
druggists. A trial bottle sent by mail on receipt of z5 cents. Address
THE RIPANS Cf1EM!CAi, CO.,
to Spruce Street, = New York City.
/14.b'a:bH".. cYiJwi�' +, t3
i-;L.RR Y
•
IT OE, .AL Li AN LIN
mull he convinced that
Mouthy primas for Bop and Girls.
$1000000. 000. Tho "Sunlight" Soap CO., Toronto, offer the f01
+ . lowing prizes every mouth till further notice, to
A Thief—Use who taxies 1 , boys and girls under 10, residin • in the Province of
Ontario, who send the greatest number of "Sun -
A Statesman—One who teaks with
out making stoney.
APolitician---Ogle rinks snakes munoy
without talking.
A Laborer --One who :g ets to work
at 6 o'clock.
A Business Men—One who gets to
work at 10 o'clnok.
A Hypocrite—One who says what he
does not think and is found out.
A Great Man—Cue who never opens
his mouth.
A Soldier—One who makes killiug
u business
A Murderer—One who makes liil-
ling a pleasure,
A Lawyer—One who makes his busi-
fleas out of llis feilow•rn"n,
' A Physician One who Makes his
living out of the bodily suffering; of his
tel lowmen.
-A. Merchant—One who makes his
living by i,uying What he does not
want; to sell at a profit wrung from
hie fellow -men —New York World.
ti
Made With Skil.
Ur Wood's Norway Pine. Syrup, the
modern sueoessful aura for coughs, colds,
hoarseness, asthma, brouohitis,sore throat
and. all ,pulmonary complaints, is made
from the best pectoral herbs and barbs by
the most.skilful and scientific methods, and
cannot fail to give prompt relief.
Peace is the evening star of the soul
as virtue is the sun, and the two are
never far apart,
•
Little .Tonle Was Cared.
1imt, Sins,--Vly tittle,7ennie was very
bed—with La Grippe which left a bad cough
I gave ner l3a>gyard'e Pectoral Balsam and
it soon cured her.
Has Moa;n'ruee, Copleston, Out.
There isn't anything that sweetens
seep like whiting up cud seeing the
hands of wthe cloak within ten minutes
of getting up time.
A Audetto, proprietor Itouse of Corn
mans barber shop, Ottawa, Rays t—A num-
bar of my eustornsrs are using Anti -band«
ruts, and 'it givee the best of eatistaration
eatd T ooutsider it a moats for tits wolves
light" wrappers tet, 810; 2nd, 50; 3111,53; 4th,
51Oth to 14th a Handsome Book ; and a pretty
picture to those who send not less than 12 wrappers.
Send wrappers to "Sunlight" Snap °dine, 43 Scott
St., Toronto, not later than 22th of each month, and
marked "Competition" ; also give full mune, ad• ;
dross, age, and nutuber of wrappers. winners'
names will be published in Cho Toronto s1au nn'iret
Saturday in each month.
ROYAL MAIL ST0AEIsritra.
REDUCTION IN RATES.
Steamers sail retularlt frcin
PORTLAP. D,euo 1-1A1.1 FAX To L1V
POOL via Londonderry.
DURING TI15 WINTER 3iOXTIIS.
- Cabin, 510 and upwards. Second Cabin,
Steerage at low rates. No Cattle Carried.
I•; thI tiuest wri 1 FIhi.l1 lirtucvsl. STATE
LINE. kLL'4N LIN e,
LI N E. 1 .Tl:ei.aiSHiPs.
NEW YOX,1 S:. GLASG
Sia Londonderry, every Portoi„ht. Cabin, 54
upwarus. Second Cabin 823. •St<aragc at lawpA !
INTApply to II. & A. ALLAN, ,Montreal, nr
HENRY DAVIS. \t ING
SelIVICa (W
RUBBER
is the i'st ill the world.
The new Criminal Code•passed at T• A• riiLTtTwi o�
The last sessroli by the Dominion Par-
tialnent has been sent out .to the dif- . -- STONE 'BLOUI{,
forest nitteistrates in the county. The
new law will not conte into force until �S'ill•�haln,
theist of July, 1893 Amon.' the
cbtinges tirade besides the fine fur sale Sole Agents or abs ve
of fire arms to ruiners and rue sellar
WHAT YOU CAN GET
Aa �ti
HAMILTON'S
keeping no record of such, the fee for
arrest and serving a warrant of die -
tress is reduced from $1.50 to $1.00.
Witnesses urs allowed 75c per flay (at
the option iIf the magistrate) instead
of 50e as before. •
•
Tho Head
Of the Lubon Medica':
Toronto, Canada, an
either in person or by
diseases peculiar to
or middte••aged, wil
ous, weak and exile
down from excess o
many of the followi
deprossiou, premat
ity, less of memory
of sight, palpitatiot
lack of energy, putt
Soho, pimples on t
or peculiar sensati
wasting of the erg;
fore the eyes, twit
lids, and elsewhere
at the urine, loss o
of the scalp and s
>'nttscles, desire to
by sleep, constipat
Ids of voice, dosir
of temper, sunken
T.L++AWLS IReLE, oily
all symptoms of n
to insanity and de
spring or vital for
every •function
''hose wile throeel
ignorance may b
Send your address
Wronger to man,
Mart disease, the
faint spells, purple
tion, skin heats, l't
to the heap, dull p
beate Annie. ea
secon4heist oat q
shout the breast b
be Shred. No on
book. Adams
ll
urgeon.
Company is now at
may be consulted
letter on all chronic
alt. Men, youug,old,
liud themselve uerV-
eted, who are broken
overwork, resulting in
g symptoms ; Mental
re old age,loss of vital,
bad dretuna, dimness
of the heart, emissions
in the kidneys„ head
face or body, itching
about the HOrotuln,
s, dizsiiu ns, specks be,
ing of the musolea,eye
bashfuinees. deposits
will power, tenderness
ue, weak and flabby
eep,failure to be rested
u, dullnees of hearing,
for iolitude,exottability
yes surrounded with
oohing skin, etc, aro
vous debility that lead
th unless eared, The
having lost its tension
arias iu consequence.
abuse committed in.
permanently cured..
or book on all diseases
ooks esut fres sealed. y.
inptoms of which are
ips, numbuesss.palpita..
DRUG STORE
ORE
WINGHAM,
Drugs,
Medicines
and Chemicals,
Fancy and
Toilet Articles,
Sponges,
Brushes,
Perfumery, &c.
Prescriptions carefully com-
pounded at ail hours,
Our stock of medicines is corn-
plete, warranted genuine and of
the best quality.
flashes rush of blood
n iu thhe heart wfhh
and irregular, the
ekerthan the fit it,pttiti'
e, ebo, Ban positively
, rlc pay. Send for
'O OM, 24 Maadton•
FOR SALE,
Lot No. S, and the D._4 of Lot No: 1
llth Con. Turnberry-150 acres; 90 cores
cleared; well fenced; frnrno hones slid
other buildings; good orchard; cheap, on
tit". Apply toM. �.f
V.
iKtCA1IEIZ.+Oht,
Or totlerieh 1
JOSEPH COWAN,
CI,Fnr. 9t Dxv. Uovnr. CO Htrno,t
AUCTIONEE t,
ISSUEIb 011? MA1i.It1AG.G LICEN
Co2nzISSIU \FkR Is E. (1. J., biro..
WRoxETLR, ONT'
BANK t.3.;;' :.1 ANTI (.t'
WINGHA.M.
Capital, ,$1,:350,000. Rent, $6'50,'
President—Joni 2ruAwr.
Vice-President—A, G. Ramsay..
'hist;c solid
IQIIY PROCTOR, CnAC. QuRYIw, lIso 1t0A5rr,
won, A, 13. L ut (Toronto)..
Cashier—J. TURNBULL.
Savings Bank-•-ltoera,10 to 0 • Saturday
1. Deposits of 431 and upwards reached' and 1
allowed.
Special Deposits also received at e
rates of interest.
Drafts 01, Great Britain and rho United
bought and sod
13. WILLSON, A
1'CLY'L11
& DICKINSON,
Solicitors.
,ZFTLAND SAW AI
calla, mamma 0x' 1
al. &arrow P O.
GEORGE THI MSON, Proprie
Lumber of all kinds,
First-class Shin
and Cedar P
Car toad Orders a Spool
WOOD delivered to arty
Winghaln,
iseowarrebi •mall promptly attended til.
�t oxO o'i MeV.
Wim3rlm�rt P.tba