HomeMy WebLinkAboutWingham Times, 1892-12-02, Page 2ani
I aril, am 1? If I've lived to be forty His" Well<Trailied Coachman,
,
� �`� � � Q three years old acid don't stn how to He lied his private uarriit le end a d
•t to b+' bio on coachman.
. r''
: ow to
1 He was more accustomed
turn a trunk key I wan
-�----- —--->==^ I the dead with a tannery t I say it to all-night lacks then private carni-
FItIDAT, DECE,a\lBEJ? 2v, :ii9'• 'won't lock ! ago, es, and more familiar with the ways
o" ' 3
ee I She turned the key Al4d lacked it of talkative cabbies than well-bred
vrts about to take conclamete but he had made money,
wall a cltcl.. He \
oath that it wasn't locked when.
Little sits at night, site d
r, Kieoett a plan's religion,
Higher than a kite.
Tittle coldish breezes,
Little drafts cit air,
Bring on "Grip» and sneezes,.
If we don't taste pare,
Little dootors'visits,
Little clnintule pills,
Empty out your wallets,
When we pad* their bills.
Little drinks o whiskey,
Little swigs of beer,
Make amen a drunkard,
In less than a year.
Little eine in c �ay tlme
solemn
Little bits of 'bacoy leaf,
Little worth,you bet,
Make what brie a bay to grief,
It's a oiga:'e Ste.
—Timothy Tinkle,
Mr. and Mrs. Bowser.
I have lay, trunk all packed, and I
wish you'd lock and strap it, said !firs
Bowser who was ready for a journey,
to her liege lord the other. evening. 1
suppose 1 ought to have called in ' a
man this afternoon to do it, 'but it
slipped my mind entirely.,
Called in. a plan ! echoed Mr Bow.
S'er.
If it's got so that 1 can't buckle a up. Why, I'll strap the darned thing
strap and turn a key I'd better hand up so tight that it will take a yoke of
up for a sign somewhere. oxen to loosen it ! Girnme hold of that
I know, dear, but last :'fine you ead again 1 .
know whet trouble you had and how lde,got it and pulled till his tongue
load you got before-- • ran out and his eyes grew as 1ai•ge as
Nev r•Ined the least bit of trouble' dollars, and when the tongue 'of the
curl ',ever got mad. If all husbands buckle found a.11ole Ile hila gained an
Were as a?kiln tempered 'and good-netur- , inch over the old.. tine. He fondly
ed es l.6ui, wives' wou1;el have mighty figured that he had lifted one side of
little;. cuuipl fir, t.f iii: this world. 1 ; the house at least afoot, and his face
suppose I rui'ght as welt bring it down, I wore a grin as Mrs Bowser came part
and Ilea wife wanted a earria' a so he
e got civil itleather strap and said ;
got one, Furthermore Ito decided to.
Here let me shoiii you how to strap use the carriage oeattsiaftally himself,
a trunk. Lift up that end. and so one night ordered it out to take
Who's bossing this job he asked him tcathe club,
a hoarse whisper. 1 came up here Ile was rather ilupressed with
the
e tl
new
to break my shins, pull my lungs out app i 'stn ea of the tarn -out as it d
and completely wreck my darned old up in trout of the house, llthou it he
anatomy om un this infernal trunk, and 1 ttl.nught a, few Mare euetot S e
don't want tiny of your help!' livery might give it a mere striking
When site had gone h' got the strap appearance,
under the trunk. Then he calmly put lake rite to the Bou -Ton club, he
the end through the buckle,braeed both
knees against the trunk and *egged
back. lie meant to cut the trunk
right in two nut bis hands slipped and
said to the statue -like figure on the
driver's seat.
Now, that statue -like+ figure, being
a well-trained coachman, Made no re -
the back of his head bit one of the speuse..lt fact, there was not even
posts of the bed before it did the car. an inulinatiitii of the head to indicate
pet. He was seeing stairs and pin- that the command had been heard,
wheels and skyrockets by the million It was repeated but without any ap-
when Mrs,. Bowser called-: parent effect.`
Do you know you are knocking all Understand ? asked the owner of
the plaster off the parlor ceiling ? If the carriage,
you can't strap that trunk I'll come up The well trained coachman was
and do it myself looking straight tdiead. -
Strap ! Strap 1 he muttered as the Bun -Ton club in a hurry ! shouted
skyrockets ceased shooting and he sat the owner. There was a moment's
silence, end then he climbed over the
wheel and caught the coacbutan by the
collar.
Lock here 1 he exctaiulod, I'm boss
of this concern, and 'i want it under-
stood that when I speak some one has
got to jump lively. If you arta going
to get your head so swelled that you
won't epeak to the beeansu 1'v0 put
you ill a blue coat with -tin buttons on
we'il'part company ,right here. 1
want to go to the Bo# -Too club—un-
derstand
Y' -yes, sir.
All ringlet. Now,tjlirnb down and
open the carriage doer' for me.
But, sir—:see
None of you b0,0..- Attend to your
business. Why, any street corner
cabby knows enough to do that.
It took his wife three days to , con,
vinee him that he wee spoiling a really1
we.11.tl'ateed eoachnial..—Detroit Free
press.
9. Nice Ma gager.
fell l\vin; the trunk as •tt Why, Jeremiah 13roten'! Is this you
slid from step to step. ;Just in the alive and in the, flesh 17 exclaimed Mrs
middle of the stair's he made a slip, let }3ro�vu, as her hustrau(j returned from
go, and the trunk went end over end a short reilrgad journey, •
clown into the hall. Mrm
; Bowser also ethy, of course it's 'e; ain't this
went end over end after it. The last the time whets I said 1'd be back 'I
said Mr Brown rathertestily.
And•yott ain't been in no accident
and got killed '1
was a in taste of gin his mouth and a D. look. as if 1 was dead 1 '
strong smell of camphor in°the air. Alin you aiu'a lode your legs and
len so sorry—so sorry ! sighed Mrs both arms, Jereiniah.4,'
Bowser. De you feel better, dear 1 o,„ 1 ain't.
•N .ir even one lee
eye 1
No.
Aud 'yon ain't so much as tot hurt
enough to sit in the • house and not
worst for efew months 1
How many times have I gut to tell
you there ain't t.othing happened 1
Well, you do beat `, all 1 There .you
went and paid a d,ilter for an accident
insurance ticket just bieforo you left,
and yon haven't done anything to ;et
'any money out of it.. A. whole dollar
wasted for maim; l And you alight
just ab well have Made ten thousand
dollars if you'd otlyi got kilted 1 Nice
tnunager you are 1
too, while I'm about' it. If I don't
rite expressli►an will bane the house all
to pieces.
Mr Bowser trotted upstairs whistl-
ling'The Old OakenEuctiet,' and had
way up stairs and queried;
Do you think you can get it down
without help ?
If I can't I'll ring up the fire de.
pertinent, he growled in reply. .
been gone about a rniunte Chen he Well,,be careful. How do you ex -
called Over the baluster : pect to get a trunk clown that way ?
Mrs`s Bowser, if you intend to take It will surely get away from you 1
all the butaeaus, bedsteads, mattresses' Mrs Bowser, I was getting; trunks
and springs you've forgotten some of clown stairs before you were- born I.
tLern 1 When anything cu the . face of this
What do you mean ? earth gets away from the undersigned
Just like u woman 1 You've ' gone 1 he'll notify you by tel
and paisked and jammed and filled it He was
till tier forty 111011 could lock this
trunk I -
Why, dear, the trunk isn't hardly
half full 1 I am only going to stay a
week, you ltnow, end SO I took only
what I might need for a few days. ' he remembered was a feeling of float -
The cover wouldn't shut within four ing in the air When ht Dame to be
;tithes. Mr Bowser seize d one handle was laid out on his back, and there
and hefted it.
Otte critter weighs 20,000 pounds if
it weighs an ounce I he muttered as he
let it r..own.
He sat down on the cover and bob- After ueverai efforts, in which he
bed up and down. It wasetilntost a go' refused her aid, he reached his feet an
but not quiet Then he got on his
hands and kneee and bobbed and
sagged, and the hash wits sliding into
the slot when Mr 'Bowser gave an
extra bob and lost his hold.
Mr. Bowser,what on earth are you
trying to do 1 shouted Mrs.. Bowser
from the foot of the stain as the gas
fixtures ceased shaking and the walls
finally quit tremblitig.
Who is looking thie infernal old
trunk 1 he fiercely demanded as he
gatheied himself up.
'She made uo answer, and by a care-
fully selected Ila nk movement, added
by hit 220 potinde of avoirdupois, he
plumed the hasp in place with such
sudden vigor that the shingles on the
roof lifted up and fell back again. The
key was ilt the lock, but it refused
to turn. He tried it half a dozen
times, but it Was no go and be had
just bawled off' to kick the whole west:
side of the h
q tet in whenMrs. Bowser
appeared to enquire :
;All, youhave got the cover down ; mouth it
but have you locked it yet? 'Invites the cat's judgement:eon it.
It, can't be Iocked. You've proh. If you had to believe all ;l liat other
got the key of til . barn door it -i the i p .eple say in their own ttv'or, .you
See that ! would pope be obliged to some ty.
4 /Ott are turning the key the, in, on your o1w12 Neenah• r dee if k
330th thetmethocl; and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste and acts
gently yet promptly on the�IKidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tem effectually, dispels colds, head-
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kirld ever pro-
duced, leasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, rompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its,
effects, preparedonly from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commen d it
to all and have mode it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for safe in 75e
bottles by all leading c. - _tggists,
Any .liable clruggist'yho may not
have it on hand mall procure it
promptly for any rine who wishes
to try it. 111:anufaefFeck, only by the
CALIFORMIt HO SYRUP CO„
BAN rn r.'-VCiI500 , CAL.
he ii g = I2 g
J
—I8 PU13I,ISIIED—
EVEB3 1W1])A•X' MORNING
—Ax T'Ii1:— 1 ,
TIMES OFFICE, JOsEPHINE STREET - :
IL'INGIIst.1\1, ONTARIO.
Subscription pisco,$ Io1i rYear,ina4itiatx0e
ADVERTISING RTISING RATES __
Spa_cv_ _ 1 yr, _i_0 ina 13 ina 11 inn
One Golunin 8'130-00 830 00 520 00 80 00
half ” 35 00 20 00 t 12 00 • 13 00
Quarter' "» I _ 20 00 12 00 I 7 00 4 00 '
Ono inch e00 3_00 2 00 i 00
Legal and othoroasua advertisements, 30. porlino
for first insertion, and 3o, per lino or•each subsequent
insertion.
Locryl notices ioc, pct ..no tot, Suit insertion, and
5o. per line for each subsequent inserticr. No local
notice will be charged less than 20o
Advertisements of Lost, Found, Strayed, Situations,
end Rosiness Chances Wanted, not exceeding 8 lines
nonpareil
, 81 per month
Houses and Farms for Sale, not exceeding 8 linos,
81eltretlyahrnth
Thseens will bsrictSubsequent to
Special rates for to advertisements, or for
longer periods.
Advertisements and local notices without specific •
directions, will he inserted till forbid and charged
accordingly, Transitory advertisements must be -
paid in advance
Changes for contract advertisements milt be in
the wilco by Wednesday noon, in order t(, appear
that week
R. ELLIOTT �t
V--.,—�.„' MPa01'alaTOa 5)10 J!,lnl lBil&n•
—-- -
)( i,R, MACIIONALD,
QJ JOSEPHINE STREET,
!nada his way to the library door. As
he stood a moment she asked if site
should send for the doctor,',;
No, ma'am 1 he whispered as he
waved her hack. When my lawyer
calls admit hint !' Later on, 'When your
lawyer calls, bring him to the library !
When your signature is needed I %ill
notify you ? This is the fortieth at-
tempt to murder me in my own house
within a year, it td the limit has been
reached 1 Admit the lawyers, Mrs
Bowser; admit the lawyers
Catarrh ill trite genii
Is uudoubtediv a disease of the blood, and
as such only a reliable blood purifier Can
effect a perfect mire, Hoodet 3arsaparilis.
1s the best blood -purifier, and ithas cured
many very severe oaseft of catarrh. It
gives ae appetite and 'builds tip the whole
system. , # Hoot's 1'ut,s sot • especially upon the
liver rousing it from torpidity to it nwturiel
duties, cure constipation and' assists di-
gestioll, t
A mouse has a night to judtre .a eat,
but the moment it opens it
MOIST
Or. one arm or an
femarltabie Utero.
GliINTLIdME:N,-. About five years ago.
I noticed on toy heeds a great num-
ber of soft,'spongy wltrts, very painful, and
which bleed whelk touched, Y never wit.
messed enythitt3 like it, and was quite
alarmed. We ere tiever without liag-.
yard's. 'Y'ellow Oil, auclone evening City
little girl applied it to each watt. They
diel this several nights+ and in the morning
the pain and itching *as so bad I had to
cool my haucls withenow, but finally the
warts dropeed Out and l: have never been
troubled slut*.
Meg \\'sr Cum, Brighton. Ont.
A brass bind can put more life into
an old nag la a minute,, than a tete
'aloe euitgeld ixl t weak of Bundays.
TRIO
�� ‘d •A
Fetching the Doctdo'.x .
At night is always a trouble, and it ,y
often an entirely urhece.,.,:;.y
trouble If
Perry Davis'
is kept in the house. A few drops
of this old remedy in a •1iLt1c sweet.
mei water or milk, brings prompt
ro.�ef. Sold everyrabere.
I -save you seen the New
G BOTTLE:
Old Price Ceuta.
vv. . 13. TOWLER, M.D.O.M.,.
Member Celiego Phxsicians and Surgeons, Ontario..
—Coroner for County of Huron—
office 1 p•ststairs, nest to tit fAlorton's officio, ;Wing -
ham, Ont. 1101OFF= MEWL -0 to 12 a, in., 1 t0 en p.s •m„ or at
Residence, DiagonatStreet.
•®R. 3. A. MELDRUAI,
Honor Graduate of Toronto University, and
Member of the College of Physicians and Sur,;cons of
Ontario.
Office and Residence—Corner of Centro and Patrick
streets, formerly occupied by Dr. Bethune.
Wittman - ONT
R
BARRISTER, SOLICITOR, Etc., Eto
Private and Company funds to loan at &estrate
interest. No commission charged. Mortgages, town
and farm propertl bought and sold.
OFF JE—Beaver 'Block \rINOHAsi, OIc'r
VANSTONE.
TEE EV', TO NEALhhhlJ
'€;menace ell the clogged avenues of. the
Bowels, Kidneys and Liver, parrying
di gradually without vreakoning the sys-
tem, all the inipuritiee and foul Humors
of the socrotlan; at tho same thne Cor-
recting Acidity of the Stomach,
curing Biliousness, Dyspepsia,
IIeaclrt.che t, Dizziness, Ifeartburn,
Constipation, dryness of the Skirt,
Dropsy, lyitnness of Vision, Jam -
dice, Salt l3heumm,i r.sinelas Scro-
fula, Flutteringof tot) 'Heart, Nero
'vousness, and CielleVal Debility ;all
these and many dthot similar Com lainti
yield to the happy inlet:ltCo of Bi3IIDOCK
BLOOD iia at
pre • y +.4 s . rid. ,J{ j/�
NERVE
BEANS
.7. A. NORTON
BARRISTER &a ,
wingham ziOntario
Raf BYER u DICKINSON,
H. W. C. MEYER. Q. C. 1 E. (...DICKINSON. EL
BARRISTERS AND SOLICITORS, Etc., Etc., So
Bettors for Batilc of Hamilton, Commissioners for
taking attidavlts for Manitoba. Farm, Town and
Village property bought and sold. 3loncy (private
funds) loaned on mortgage security at 51 per Cent.
Money invested for private persons, upon the best
mortgage securities without any expense to the
lender. Lands for rale in Manitoba and the North•
west. •
Office—Bent's Block
E'\TISTRY.— J ("3. JEROME, \Ylieouan,
1. Is rliitnufacturing Celluloid Plates,
VulOdpiteplates of the bestmaterial
as cheap as they can be got in the
Dominion:, All work warranted.
oath.
Painless extraction of teeth by the use of Electric.
ity or Vegetable Vapor.
TAIn NoTrec.—I Will extract teeth for 25 cents
OFFICEicic 1lienee. In the Beaver, Block, opposite the
Brunsiv
NIrERVB BEANS are b now din.
Nflat out the awesome' ot
o voua mobility, Lost vigor aria
mating Maahoott; Yesto e, tee
weeknese of body Or mind eauso
by orer•work. orttyI�,s.o r -
Or
oesses et ,•outs,. This edl 3
a) oiS too wit ail •Sher
Wm. H. Macdonald, L. D. S.,
DENTIST.
OFFICE, - - OIASON'S CLOCK
Opposite the Queen's Hotel, Wingham.
• Wall visit Gorrie lst and 3rd Mondays
of each month. '
i CIIN RITCltIE,
t7 GENERAL INS,I71IANCE AGENT
WINGIiAM,
.) DEANS, J0, WuiGn tnl,.
LICENSED AUCTIONEER FOR TEE COUNTY
OF HURON..
Sales attended in any part of the Co. Charges
Moderate.
JOHN CUR E, wltcenAbl, Osr,,
moot:slut An0TtOp sER eon r02 cousTY os'
'Vl'' llnnON.
All orders left at ilio Times oftiee promptly attend
ed to. Terms reasorlabio.
TME
'AS IIENDERSON,
ticcNssn A11CT10108R Torr CousT►sa itnSoN Ato
Daum
All sales attended to promptly and on the Shot•teec
Notice,
Charges Moderate and SatlsfaotionOt1aranteed.
All noceasary arrangements can be made at the
T13125' alto
WlNoifAM 082
DIS. GODFREY k McASII,
AI,
13. Toronto, Monitors College Physicians an
Surgeons. Ontario.
flktetAVII t1119'11�10
Money to ['oat on Notes.
Notes Discounted
A9 REASO NA r .i TtA S
ciaey aver xi tr FbT Y H O per esti,
e aft "ay •: t9y
, nnigp DEse
azt1;1PENTI.'
—sore;
In times
complaint ell
taught and i
o,t,,t;he Parini
instruments
ltiinister of
ality of tl;e
is being ren
went is noi�
well as dice
now most it:
tura,
What wa
and residen
been rental
Heade and
answers fat
They choes'
lecture roo
having' suit
and overloc
has six vat
and eon)pie
ture of che
room is <
butter dept
room. T1:
buttermaki
three ebur
this depat
giving Inst
making by
>1, inery and
basent eft t
for cream,
buttermill+
room. TI
orator fur]
mills, cl
milk testi[
every day,
ly known
Owing
suie I
an eatablsy IS ell
dairying, 1
have, tog,
source foe
the dairy,
agricultni
Additk
the dairy
cows and
now near
silo, whic
of enailag
the stabil
A. new
of that it
iu connec
The st
•
It wi
' I'twi
It wi:
Itdo
It wi
water
Itct
tikin of
Its p
e' it their