HomeMy WebLinkAboutWingham Times, 1892-11-18, Page 7IP!1, "m>Na
A nolo Bh.oIspi r,
They were riding up in the elevator.
of one of our twig dry geode 'stores, the
man, line wife and a small boy who
was going to get off at the second floor
inateaa of the third, says the Detroit
Free Press,
One would think, young fellow, said
the man poulpously,that you. had never
been in on elevator before, a
No more I was, pa, said the small
boy,and he was going to say something
more, but his another seized his hand
and be stopped short,
The party got on,t of the third floor
and the man directed the movements
of his wifeand' boy, and seemed to
have the whole univet;sal plan at his
Anger ends.
When they bad finished shoppiue
they ali stepped into the elevator to
go dowu,aud the wife said she thought
she would exit, but the man told her to
stand up and not joggle about so
much. At the second floor he seized
1ulluleeinlaule, said the dentist
patient Cy,
Tet ale l roared the horrified Well -
men. "
Never I Nor in gin, wllielty, or any.
thing else! 1:04 me go ye haytitenl it's
atter inurtheritl' me ye would he 1.
i1owever;after a great deal of bother
the dentist succeeded in Making mat-
torsa little clear to the bewildered,
Micky, who then asked, will it hnrrat
the betel sore?
Oh,, no, Barre won't he any pain at
all.
Oi'm rorty for that, said ALicky
looking inexpressibly disappointed.
Sorry ? ejaculated the dentist, with
great surprise.
Yis sor. Ye see sorr, it's this way.
This blayuard ov at tooth has bin
driven' the mud wid pain for a whole
wake ; so Oi shud loilie yo to hurt a
bit whin ye pull it out, sorr, 'jest by
the way of reviege
im-
€°or !doting or Old.
the boy, sand look where you are go. Children and adults ane equally bone
sirs, nud get oft His wife vent
onto the ground floor, for which they
had started, and' sat down to await
1evelopmrntt.
Tnet man canoe clnwtl the stairs
pretty soon nail pretended to he show •
ing the a tore to the boy,
You made a mistake T-lirrtm,said fair
wife timidly; ,you oughtn't to have
got oll' on that floor.
Don't worry about t'ne, snapped the
man, I'm old enough to take care of
myself, and be stalked ahead with a
detertuivation to get there if he walk..
ed dnwu cellar.
This way, said a olerk,as he touched
the man on the shoulder.
Take :our hand off, young man ; I;
know which way Pin going, and he
made another attempt.
, All right, said the clerk; if you go
through that plate glass mirror it will
cost you more than it you leave by the
regular door.
Then the man saw hie family were
waiting for hitn, and . he frowned at
them crossly and followed them into
the street, It wits a severe case of
know it all.
fated by the use of Dr Wood's Norway
Pine Syrup. the new and successful rem-
edy. It stops coughs in ono night and may
be, relied on as an effectual remedy for
colds, asthma, bronchitis and similar
troubles. Price 25 and 50c at druggists.
A Childless Home.
Smith and his wife have every btu.
ury that money can buy, but there :s
one thine lacking t) their happiness.
Both are fond of children, but no little
voices prattle. no little. feet patter in
their beautiful home. "I would give
ten yee'rs of my Iife if 1 could have
one healthy, living child of nay. own."
Smith often says to himself. No
woman can be the mother of healpre
offsprings unless she is herself in good
health. if she' suffers iroan "female
weakness, general bebility, .bearing -
down pains, and funotional derange
meats, her phyeienl condition is suoll
that elle cannot hope to have healthy
children. Dr. Pierce's .Favorite Pre-
scription is a sovereign and guaranteed
remedy for all these ailments. The
guarautee priuted'on bottle -wrappers.
He Wanted His Revenge..
Micky Oven, who has just arrived
in Loudon, was suffering from the
toothache so he rushed into 'a dentist
and said : rootn eyes.
Please, sorr, it's muethered. Ui am Dou't talk that way to me ! Her
wid the toothache ? Will you isindly eyes were BM I, ice as yLUre
Eetc3a.anging Reminiscences.
Do you know, my deur, she sudden-
ly • said, as she looked up from tier
work, do you know that next week
will be the twentieth anniversary of
our wedding.
Is that so 3 13y George ! how time
flies 1 Why, I had no idea of it..
Yes, we bane been married 'almost
twenty year,, she ooll;inued, with
something of a sigh You have been
a good husband to me, darling.
And you have been a blessed little
wife to me, Susan. • Come here and
let me Rise you ? lie interrupted.
There 1
I was thinking to -day -1 was think
ing of— •
Of that sickly faced baboon who
used to watlk borne with you from
church before 1 knew you t he inter-
rupte=d.
Whom do you mean 1 +
Why, that Brace fellow, of course.
Why, George he wasn't sub a had
fellow.
• Wasu't lie? Well, I'd like to know
'of a won't. one, and there you were as
good as engaged to him,
Yes, George, but yon know you
were keeping company at the same
time with Helen Perkins.
That Helen Perkins ! Wasn't Miss
Perkins one of the loveliest and pret-
tiest young ladies in Liverpool 1
No, she wasn't. She had teeth
like a horse. '
She did, eh? How about that
stoop-shtuldered, white headed Brace? ii
And .rich big feet as .,ho had. Why 11
George, she teas the laughing stock of I
the town.
Nothing•of the kind—nothing of the
kind ! She was a young lady who
would have made a mode! wife.
Then why didu't you marry her
and alt her moles and warts aucl plush
efetiney name.
rt i^.N TLTtM3'iN,--1 used to be trembled I
lk-epi with 2ufnsy,',teeing an attack every
winter, About tive yoa.rs ewo 1 tried Bag-
yards's Yellow Oil, applying 1t inside my
throat with a feather. It quickly cured
nee and I have not been troubled sinao. T I
always keep it itl the bailee.
:tins .r 1`t Lawes,,
(galley Ave.,..Toronto, Ont i
It often happens that a dog without f�f
teeth barks the most,
EMIIIKIiz4TIs1r COULD zn A DAY.•–.&.`curll1
American Ithoumatio Cure of 1Zbeureatisrn
and Neuralgia radically cures in 1 to 3
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once the cause of the disease ammedintely
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drug store.
'siepiXtisp 6q ptos eau el
ora moos raises, 'dn n 5 gitnop Iso r
`S11VJ 3511 11Y 3133�1�11MA� 5311112
is
Indigestion, 1Upspeps,a and flour Stomach aro
caused by the food fermenting. The result of far-
ontation on all organic matter must he acid..
This decomposes the food (which should be digest-
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i est•ed) and from that decomposition evolves gasses
that produce pressure on the nerves, disorganizing
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11ALSTEDA'_�. O T.T
Josephine Street • • - *wham, tont,
J. A. IIaLsultn, I J. W. ,SCOTT,
Mount Forest. Idstowel.
Deposits Received and Interest
allowed.
TRADE SALE
To Genora1 Merchants. and 73oot and Shoo Stores
In connection with my Leather llusiness 1 keep
full stock of
SHOE DRESSING/
Ilathaivay, Whitmore s, Zanoni, French Dressing,
Iiolipso, Bixby's, Perfect Ifid, etc, In 10,. 15 and 25o
sizes, by the gross: or dozen. Jacquot's French
Slacking and Cray's climax waterproof,.
in Leather, horsehide, English gip, Porpoise, &e,
Cotton and Mae. In alllengths.
Button fasteners and setts, cork soles, &e,
Money Advanced to :farmers and
Business laden,
On loug'or short time, on endorsed notes
or collateral security. tale notes bought
at a fair valuation. Money remitted to all
parts of Canada at reasonable charges.
Special Attention Given to Col-
lecting Accounts and Notes.
SHOE LEETHER)
Stenon Alma, bal and ail and AIezzoaia lftp and Calf;
also native kip ud upper. Spanish and slaughter
solo.
HARNESS -LEATHER,
Best brands on hand in oak and hemlock. Specie.
stock for traces in oak.
PatrontgesoIieited. Prices guaranteed.. A postal
card will secure quotations or a call frommy travel-
ler,
Agents in Canada --Tile Micrchants'1.Bank
on Canada
Office Hours—From 9 a. to. to 5 p. to.
A. E. SMITH,
Anent.
W. J. HAMAN,
,
Tanner and Leather Merchant,
W x a IxA1I
'1'1131, TABL,I.
Tralna arriveand depart so follawot.
&Nat•Jvo
0:36 a, ta1..........I'ar Toronto .....
2:00 p, in
2:00 p, u, . Ser recswater.......
10:55 p. ut
°7..1.?s.A, 1. f :T`i r'•�"I, AT T`,l"`
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Through tickets to ail pointy In Anter
{Gest t+a. ifc •Coast, rte., via the sh�,rteot
. popular routes. Baggage. checlaed thr
1 dostinaaticp: Lc•west ftci;ht '.'tee to all rein
L172:11 li'1Xe1141a, Anazvc An`
O;A6 am.Toronto,Ouclph,Palmerston,'.tc.
11:24
tete p.m. "' Canton, "
7.16 " Palmlreten, 7.IIOOd 10
0:45 u.in London, ,4x...........11
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11:20 a.ni........ Kincardine, &e ., ... 0:
3:37 p.m
10.02
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Soleutilffe Arne
Agony fel
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"017131 T ri0RS, o61:tlrosdwar. 01ew bona„
take the blayguard av a tooth out av
ray pour mouth t
How long have you had it ? inquir-
ed the. dentist.
• 'About twenty years, sorr.
Twenty years 1 'Srou tnistlhdersto yd
me. 1 utean the toothache, not the
tooth.
Oh, indade Oive had it for a wake,
more or less ; but, gittirttlly eppalfin,'
more,sir, said Micky ruefully.
And which tooth is it that troubles
you, . my 101513 1 the dentist asked.
111e wan forum.et the lasht on the
top back row av the roight side sorr
The puzzled dentist requested Mieslty
to place his finger on the afflicted
tooth, which he did. The dentist,
after exatunling, eared :
This will be a tough j•)b, tray nian.t
and I strongly advise your to take gas.
Take gags? exclaimed 4lirky,w else
thougllte immediately reerted: to the
rtreet lamps tlhot*, y,1 re joaking
�; `i lc�n; _btClttii.:rl� :l1
They were not.
They were. 1 believe they are sorry
because you didn't marry that 13race 1
.A know that you aro sorry beeauee
you didn't marry that beautiful and
a000rt'plished Miss Perkins.
I ani. Oh 1 I thought you said I
had been a •good husband to you ?
Anal didn't yon call ale your blessed
•little wife
Thew he plumped clown alld begen
to read the mortgalle sales and adver-
tisemente in the paper, and she picked
up her sewing and gave the cat, a
gentle kite. These old things will
come up new and than, and somehow
neither sides gets entirely over theist.
.oiling- 4.4.015 Romov d.
GnrtxLCMEN,---I mot but p ase 1313 3
for it hoe revived wonderfu 1 was
completely ruu do .1,1104 aohi pains at
tny shoulders, 0 ti d feeling i y limbs,
lots epirits, in fact was Ito lu (fry. Be.
Ing recommoudod o try )3 13 81 did so,
mutt with the nae of only one bottles 1 e,tu
tro-oltx Arose wad henwitlay. 1 prise it
al
5 r tOi Po
e.
Rich In the lung -healing virtues of the Pine
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j A PERFECT CURE FOR
till COUGH AND COLDS
Hoarseness, ttsthm ., Bronchitis, Sore Throat
Croup and all THROAT, BRONCHIAL and
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rinpF 200e 41Nab 000. PER r3OTTi.Er
SOLD DY all. bRDObIF.TG.
va0616Coamannsr IANYMArew
FOR
HE BEST VA
DE P
ri
IN
00 TO
711.
�•.LAR B
HATS, CAPS,
OOLLARS,
0
HAVE YOU
";;aekaalte
f'a nlexne the kid-
rn nays aro in
Dodd's
.) Kidney Pills gine
I)rlfatpt relief."
E; "75rper cent.
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a rri n,'dcred
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tit "Might a3 well
try to have a
healthy city
without sewer.
age, as good
health when the
kidneys 41.0
rloyg4d, they are
Sold by all &aidi-
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A. "Delay, is
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troubles result
in Bad Blood,
Dyspepsia, Liver
Complaint, and
the most dan-
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Brights Drsease,
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"The above
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Dodd's Kidney
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or smithy mkt!
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Cheap for KASET,
k AT .
W S T E 1
1
toves3 E tove
All intending purchasers of stoves for t
winter will save $71oney by buying fro:;. i
1
D. SUTHERLAND.
Having bought a Very large variety of
HEATING AND
mem .rm
Wagger
to choose from
ravel" stove guaranteed against breakage a
to give •complete satisfaction. '`' `'
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