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HomeMy WebLinkAboutWingham Times, 1892-10-21, Page 7A So or nd tte nt. est Me th• tee, real the ,rte• ants the CKA lays t'Aale , Ion terse, t Or ttend N AiVfa )Ortess sed, at the ne ah /SUMO Molt/la he flea . Not on Lodge Business. If I ant not mistaken, said the call- er, removing his hat deferentially,1 am iri the presence of the grand a )a • supremely exalted potentate of the Anoient and Honorable Order of iViuelcamuek$ You, are, sir, answered the roan at the desk, with an ainutble senile. Pardon the intrusion,said the caller, in the came respectful marluer,aud the familiarity with which 1 address you; but you spell your name S -m -y -t -h e, ao you not t , Yes. sir, And your initials, f think 1' am core. Teat in saying are K. W 1 That is correct. Thank you, Mr Smythe, my name i's. Iifgt;it.s —G i ry-; i n -s= Higgins. .1 am glad to find yon in, 111r Smythe. after having made. Several previous .attempts, without sucoess, to make your acquaintance. 1 have the honor, he continued, putting his bat on brisk- ly and taking a bundle of papers from his pocket, to be the collector for Spotcash R Co, dealer:; in dry goods general mert:handise. If it is con. venient, Mr Smythe, you will oblige me very much by settling a little hill of seventy-five cents that has been running for six menthe and save the the trouble of having to climb these dog -gelled beastly, rickety, filthy, old stairs again. Seventy-five cents, Smythe. Come doen.—Chicago Tri- bune Men Don't Admire. A selfish woman. A peevish woman. An ill-natured woman. A, woman who is continuelly falsify- ing. A woman who talks disagreeably of Other women, • A woman who shows him else knows. more than he does on d certain topic, A man may dunk he admires the manly girl, bot of ter all be loves the womanly woman, HOl,I.owAY'S PILLS AND OINTMENT.--. Diseases of the sidn, No case of disease of the skin, be its nature what it may, has failed to be benefitted when these potent remedies have been properly applied. In sorofulons and seurbutie affections they are especially serviceable. Scurvy and eruptions, which had resisted all other modes of treatment and gradually heoomo worse from year to year, have been noropfetely cured by Hollolvay's cool. ing Ointment and purifying Pills, which riot mit the disease from the Wood itself and leave tl:e t;OnAtitftion free from every morbid taint. In the 'nursery Ilolloway's Ointment should be ever at (land; It will give ease in sprains, contusions, burns, scalds and infan'ile ei•.'uptious, and may always safely l,e applied by any ordinary at tendant.. Lawyer—Yon were in the saloon at the time of the event complained oft Witness ---Yes, sir. Lawyer—Did you take cognizance of the her -keeper at the time t Witness. -•-I don't know what be called it, but took what the rest did. Ripens rfaleules 1 for torpid liver.. Doerum—Dud you ever think bow leech of the truth is in some of .our popular comic songs t Routed (shortly) ..Yes, J3oerutn—NOW. for inetnuce ,there are times when one would like to be alone. Bonretl—=•That's the one I was thinking about. What is lacking is truth and con- fidence. If there were absolute truth on the one heed and absolute confi- dence on the other, it wouldn't he necessary for the makers of Dr. Sage's Caterreh Remedy to hack up a plain statewel)t of fact by a $500 guarantee. They say—"It we can't cure you (mtikait personal, please,) of catarrh in the head in any form or atage,we'il pay you $500 for your trouble in mak- ing the trial'' "An advertising fake," you say. Funny, isn't it, how some: - people prefer siul;uess to health wheel_ I'll give you my money, said the the remedy is positive and the guarttn- i citizen, but upon this condition—that tee absolute. Wise` men don't rut tion put some !Juliet hoes through my coat. You 'see, I want to tell my friend;' how bravely I defended Myself and will show these holes in proof of what 1 say. The robber sees visians of ho,v easily he can win a nice sum of ,money I The Strategic Citizen and the Rob- ber. • Your money or your life ! and the sober citizen who had been detained down town was halted by the Jasper. i ate and soulless robber. The scene was on the corner of one t ldilit,ltrilanl, Ont. Of Chicago's fashionable thoroughfares Josephine Street and from the starlit skies Polaris and i the peaeAfai Pleiades looked down upon the two mew, one of whom held a revolver p',inted,at the other's head. Not another person was in sight. All was quiet. Your money or your life, repeated Oa long or short time, on endorser! • notes ses t3� CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAiLS. Best tough Syrup. Tastes Good.. Use k ' in time. Sold by druggists TRA,In SALE, i P Te General Merchants and Boot and Shoe Stores In fustock tion with my Leather Business 1 keep ,ar,';tr1 Indigestion, Dyspepsia and Sour Stomach are caused by the food fermenting. The result of for- v.ontation on all organic matter must bo acid. This decomposes the food (which should us digest- ed) and from that decomposition evolves gasses that produce pressure on the nerves, disor;;anizifg the system, and producing various symptoms of disease. The "Curative Fluitl" putties the stamneh, promotes digestion and assimilation of food, thereby creating a healthy current of blood. For sale by all Druggists, 50o, and $1. SIIOE DRE.SS1NGA (J. 31. it: Ti: Trains arrive and depar .'u follows: 1 ISATISQ A881 535 a. m...... ,...Por Toronto ....., 5;165 + 00 p. In lror'Feeswater s:t 0 ' 1.4:55 p. to ,, 10:50 ' { A. H. 5TR,iTIi1) 11, AGM', wigwam. Through tiokots to all points in America—No West Pacific Coast, etc., via tile shortest and Itaopttlar routes, Baggage •age diet lied through estipati0n. Lowest freight rates to all point,:Hathaway, Whitmore's, Zanotti, French Dressing', , Eclipse, Bixby's, Ported Kid, etc, in 10, 15 and 25e 1 —TIME TAISLE. sizes, by the gross or dozen. Jacquet's French LFAVM wi,QuAM. A!MIVIH AT WINUHAM Dlaeiting and Gray's climax waterproof. 10:45 a.nt,Toronto,Guc•lph, Palmerston, 54. UN p:ui • 11.:0 7:15 „ Palmerston, illitte'd 10:405.0. 0:45 a.m.,......... London, &c,... ,. 1107:500 pan 11:20 a.m........ Kincardine, &e .. , 0:U5 a.m. 11:37 p,m F, 11:20 ,. 10.02 a• 7:15 P.m Tr-g,aI S r. m Leather, Horsehide, English Kip, Porpoise, deo. Cbtton and Rine. in all lengths, e3utton fasteners aud setts, cork notes, .bc. ALSTE SHOE ' &fJ6tA L' &�HE'. Simon Alma, bat anti Ill and Mezzonia Kip and Calf also native hip nd upper. •Spanish and slaughter sole. SCOTT. H 11--?, _ HARNESS LEAT6HER, Best hrands.on hand iii oak and hemlock. Specie stock for traces in 0011 • Patronage solicited, u Prices guaranteed, Apostai card will secure quotations or a cal from my travel- ler, J, 11'.. .Scorr, illonnt Forest. I Listowel. J, A. littsr0D, Deposits Receii all Money Ad.vanc W. J. CHAPMAN, Tanner and Leather Merchant, 111xscitam :50 p.m. "' " Clinton 10'02 " Scientific American Agency for; CAVEATS. TRADE MARKS. DESIGN PATENTS COPYRIGHTS, etc. • s'or Information and free Handbook write to MUNN & . iiAD1PAY n. Oldest bureau for351 secureng130patents in AmY0erslen Livery patent taken out by us is broughtbeforo the public by a notice given free of charge in the entifiC irtevi x Largest t circulation of scientific into ligent ' ear;s51501 six be without it. ss MUN63.0&)11 , Vnrts xs5Ens. SBlBroadleay. New York. FOR THE BEST VALUE ---- IN-- RD-DREW N R RE, : L ` ITIN (3 . ed and Interest) wed. HATS, to F arnlers and H ATS, Busin. so Men, the fiefidiAh highwayman. ( or collateral security. Sale notes bought at a fair valuation, Money remitted to all parts of Canada at reasonable charges. Special Attention Given to Col- looting Accounts and Notes. Agents. in Canada—The Merchants'. 15anitn) 'of; Canada Office hours—Front 0 a. m. to 5 p. nom" A. E. S?iZITH, money back of "fakes." And "faking doesn't pay. Magical little granules— tntse tiny, sugar-coated Pellets Id Dr. Pierce -- scarcely larger than mustard seeds, yet powerful tie cure—active vet mild in operation. The best Liver P11I ever invented, Cure sick headache, dizzi- ness, constipation. One a dose. A Bit of News. • 'Millie Slseybud—All, there 1 that • you, Gussie, old'fel ? Gustavus Lillypad—Aft, well, my boy, how goes it ? Willie—FIrst class, Gessie, boy ; heard the news, Oil - Naw. Nawi About the newest thing in chollahst Naw. Now Naw. Weally, old fell Naw. Why, all the chappies at the club are wild over it. Naw I—well, let's heat it. Why, deab boy ; hanged if they don't soy collalls are to be quatah cif an inch higher than ever. before I Naw? • - Yes indeecf ly. Naw t Weally and twuly, Naw Von honah; old ehappie. Newt Yea Now. So long, old fell By, by, deah boy, and plies c cote That's right. Now another shot j here through the lapel of the coat' tshot fired). Now one through the coat sleeve, but be careful you do not graze the flesh (third shut). Bravely done 1 Now one through the leg of the trowsers and the, coat tails (fourth and fifth shots). Now we must have one through the coat and .vent. I will open my vest thus, and you fire so it will go through both thicknesses of cloth. The boys up at club cannot say I was not badly used up. The robber gets interested aud fires the last shot in his revolver through the unoffending coat, whereupon the sober citizen turns upon him, and drawing bis own weapon compels the robber to surrender the empty pistol. Tile malefactor is marched into town and lialided over to the duly constitut- ed authorities, .and the sober citizen is the hero of 00bdoli2.--Chicago Mail, D. L. OaVen, Toronto, Travelling Pass- enger Agent, C. P. L. setts t Anti -Dandruff 1s a' perfect remover of Dandruff—its action iS marvellous—in my own case a few ,applications not only thoroughly re- moved excessive dandruff accumulation, but stopped falling of the hair, made it soft and pliable and ,promoted 'a visible growth. The barn of Thos Murphy, near I inliurn was 'destroyed by fire on Sat- urday night. All his crop aid a sp'in of horses were burned, it , Mange nd oratehe hums anima ,, au d in 8 era's San Gisholtlt s drug et �' t s Cowboy—Guess you Bever killed a3 man, did you ? Tendeefoot =.11uu, 1 helped to kill half a cozen of thorn. Davis' Pain -Muer 'The hest and most popular Fati:ilV Medicine in the world, A blessing to the rich ; a friend to the poor; within the reach of: all, it has saved more lives' and reg lieved more suffering iteldentals to travellieig than any other medicine. 25o. per„bottle, large Size. »ld you, he inquired, in an intensely "sentimental tone, never Sigh for deatb1 'Whose, she inquired, with an ictereet and promptene.B'that brought IIiI>ii back to earth an fast time lie,wean r 1 it his of eve lttitit, on nal de bfailsS lu"at. w tli4r t"i,, tf„� .. ��ao�nWvgYfY I:.r•� rf q)\1(11L(i)-jR 2TR tl,� GURC S rye P IC L2R DRBUs CHOLERA DIARRHOE YSENTERY ANDALL 1 ,g'1 A\(S f SUMM cHU DREN0VXoULTS cTs e k..55 TIONS OEW RC, of IMITA : q' g; ;a,• TO — 6 E B s rf E toves, • n SHIRTS', OdL L ARS, CUFF , &c. Cheap for KAS E , here e No, at college, J+'ightin' with 'em, No. Initiating 'them. . Pacu0avisilt °Meaft IN A DAY.—•south A,tnerieau ithoutnatie (lure oRleut 1 i d Nbe t ni olieuralgitl, eedically deter. tt dayil,. Its actica talon the system is re. :markable and mysterioU . '.tt removes at auce the cause of the disease immediately dieeppeare, The first dose greatly fits. 75 wets. Warranted at Chiafllltii'i dauifolliete. (c) Ge t'1 "Back ache the scavengers �$ means the kid- of the system. `V. t,ouble. are odds dangerous, "Delay is Neg• l Kidney Pills give looted kidney prompt relief." troubles result r,1 "75 per cent. in Bad Blood, of disease is Dyspepsia, Liver ' first caused byComplaint, and . te' disordered kid- the most dan- gerous nega, of all, Might as well Blights Disease, it, try to have a Diabetes and healthy alty Dropsy.' . fe without Sewer- ' "rhe above ,'g ago, as, good diseases cannot a health when the exist where ch kidneys are Dodds Kidneff r'oyged, they are Pilli are use(!.' t •''.'d.eld by all iltnlcr,'orae'htby seams reori/E S t irrice to Cents. per box or clic for $a.Ae. bo,10.,tiwt Kidn V Taj .~mail+ Write fat toves9 bt oves Al intending purchasers of stoves for this save money by buying from SUTHERLAND. Having bought a very large variety of HEATING AND COOS, - 0 "V” - S Every to choose from ove guaranteed against breakage an dl to give con4:piete satisfaction. D. STARVE/AND. Wingilata, ttr S•tt1 1691.