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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Bayfield Bulletin, 1968-08-16, Page 2The Bulletin August 16, 1968 Page 2 SUGAR AND SPICE by Bill Smiley We get letters Well, we could always try the Arctic Circle! 4-Things, in law 5-Assumed name 6- Depression between mountains 7-Latin conjunction 8-Stitch 9-Country of Asia 10-Teutonic oeity 11-Compass point 17- Near 19-Part of "to be" 21-Solar disk 23-Ship bottom 25-Figure of speech 26-Sowed 27- Screech 28-Epic tale 29- Narrow opening 33- Tear 35-Cut of meat =ME MEMO MEM rice MEMO OMM OM MEM MOO 00 BOMB ©BEES COMM CMO MOM MEMO O OM= OM OMMCOM OMOMMM MM MEMO OMMME MEM ©EE® ©EEO© MOMM MOM OM MOM @MOM MM MOO MOON MOM MMM MOM COMO SOLUTION 38-Food program 40-Servant 43-Bigger 46-Bar legally 48-Eats to gain or lose weight 51- Exclamation 53-Pair (abbr.) 56-Male sheep 58-Small rug 60-Change color of 61-Printer's measure 62- Proceed 64-College degree (abbr.) 66-Quiet! 1 2 3 4 - x 5 6 7 8 0 *':,,\'-',' 9 10 11 12 .11 a *41.4, 13 . : , '.,, , X514 15;?ef , alt 16 17 4•114 18 19 +V _ e,'',.)C,' 4°.' 2''. 20 21 ;` :'''''A 22 23 ,,, • 24 25 26 27 28 . v: .x,x, 29 30 • .44 31 32 33 -34 35 • 36 37 38 i.: 39 40 41 • 4, • .• • • li•• 42 43 •4: .. 44 45 46 • • .40 44 47 48 •• • • •:,. 49 50 51 64:;* • • 52 53 .5.4 K. 54 NC 1ikei: 55 56 .4.., •+ 57 58 • IS, • • • 'a •:• 59 60 61 62 Vs •• • • 63 64 s ° 4..• 65 66 67 . Vili• i.:*• 68 • E 9.* 69 KITCHIGAMI TOURIST CAMP • Family Picnics • Tenting • Cottages Only 5 Miles North of Bayfield, Hwy. 21 Tel: 524-6494 EDWARDFUELSi —FURNACE OIL —STOVE OIL —FARM GASOLINE —DIESEL Fast Delivery Dependable Servis Phone 524-8386 EDWARD FUELS 202 Angleseo, Goderich FOR A1-1- NEEDS Teachers get some pretty funny notes from parents, ex- plaining the absence of a pupil. Usually it's because the har- assed mother or father stabs down anything at the last min- ute, as the kid, heading for the door, and already late, screams in dismay; "Oh I gotta have a note." Thus you get such things as, "Please excuse Jane's grand- mother for being absent due to her illness." The baffled teach- er finally figures out that gran- ny had the 'flu and Jane had to stay home and look after her because Mom can't miss a day at the shoe factory, because that's the only way she can muster enough money to buy Jane some decent clothes so she can go to school, so she can be a real whiz and help out Granny and Mom. Sometimes the notes are not so funny. "Please excuse Jim for being late as he had to appear in court this morning for drunk and disorderly, but it was the other guy's fault." Well, teachers aren't the only ones who receive sad and funny letters. The rest of the column will be made up of sentences taken from actual letters received by the Toronto Welfare Department from applicants for aid and assis- tance. They may explain why Eng- lish teachers look so stunned so much of the time. The sen- tences will be in quotation marks. The comments will be whatever comes to mind. "I am very annoyed that you have branded my son illiterate as this is a lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born." She didn't mean illiterate. She meant illegible. "In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory." Really, what could be more sat- isfactory? "Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life." And good luck to you, Missus. There should be a lot more of that type of positive thinking in the world. "Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the Cler- gy." No comment. "This is my eighth child, what are you going to do about it?" What, indeed? It's cer- tainly time somebody did something. Or stopped doing something. "I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead." Now there is a sentence of which Hemingway would be proud. Not a syllable too much or too little. The emotion is retrained. Note that she said "glad", not "delighted". And here's one with the same theme, but a different twist. "Please find for certain if my husband is dead, the man I am living with can't eat or do anything until he finds out." There's drama for you. There's tragedy. Think of the poor dev- il, starving to death, unable to smoke or drink or pick his teeth or pull the fluff out of his belly-button. Here's another that shows a nice respect for bureaucracy. "In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed en- velope." And they thought The Pill was a big deal! Another mom writes, "I can- not get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?" There's a beautiful logic there somewhere, if you could just put your finger on it. "I haven't any children as yet as my husband is a bus driver and works day and night." But think of all that overtime. And finally. It sounds like an old chestnut, but teachers actually get notes like this. "I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doc- tor." This is Medicare? Toronto Telegram News Service GET EXPERTEXPERT INSTALLATION FROM SPECIALISTS B. R. ROBINSON FLOORING CONTRACTOR 61 Hamilton St., Goderich Phone 524-8831 ACROSS 1- Mark left by wound 5-Class of vertebrates consisting of the birds 9-Range of knowledge 12-Stockings 13-Tardy 14-Native metal 15-Printer's measure 16-Go by water 18-Armed conflict 20-Symbol for calcium 22 - Speech 24-Army meal 27-Poses for portrait 29-Observes 31-Affirmative 32- Lucid 34- Bark 36-Compass point 37- Encircled 39-Came into sight 41- Babylonian deity 42-Dye plant 44- Delineate 45- Devoured 47- Lifeless 49- Buccaneer 50- Intertwine 52-Stumble 54-Note of scale 65- Sailor (colloq.) 67-Microbe 69-Civilian defense (abbr.) 61-The self 63- Encourage 65-Gray 67-Cleaning utensil 68- Defaces 69-Old pronoun DOWN 1- Pronoun 2- Pacify 3 Conjunction Quality !airy products are now available in the Bayfield area. Watch for your Siiverwoods home service salesman. He'll be glad to call at your door. THE ANDREW DAIRY DISTRIBUTORS Balliteth Tgultrtin Published Every Thursday at Bayfield, Ontario by ART ELLIOTT Editor and Publisher WEST STREET GODERICH 524-7951 BAYFIELD, ONTARIO, CANADA ilOX 102 — PHONE BAYFIELD 585-2011