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The Citizen, 2015-08-27, Page 12PAGE 12. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, AUGUST 27, 2015. By Pastor Perry Chuipka St. John’s and Trinity Anglican Churches A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Problem was, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary, but to no avail. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly, there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arm and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to change my rude and unforgivable behaviour.” John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued. “May I ask what the chicken did that I saw in that freezer?” Whether it is changing our behaviour, changing jobs or changing anything else in our lives, we often think that change can be a bad thing. Change may bring bad results but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing if we work through it in a healthy way. One of the things that I am learning as a congregational coach that leads other congregations into change, is that as individuals and organizations we don’t know how to manage change in our lives. In his book, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, William Bridges says going through change in our lives is like any other discipline, you have to know how to manage it. He goes on to say that because change is a process by which people unplug from an old world and plug into a new world, we can say that change starts with an ending and finishes with a beginning. Therefore there are important stages one must go through whether you are an individual or an organization. Bridges describes three stages of managing change. The first stage is “Letting Go, Endings and Losing.” In this stage an individual or an organization has to let go of the old ways and the old identity people had or the organization had. This first phase of dealing with change is an ending, and the time when you need to deal with your losses. For example, take a husband and wife who are experiencing the empty nest syndrome when all their children have left home. In this phase, they need to talk about the loss of their children. How does it feel? What does it look like? What are you saying to yourself? In the case of an organization the people need to be encouraged or given a time together when they can talk about the loss they are experiencing. The more that you put into words or find a language that articulates the change or transition in your life or the life of the organization, the more you are helping yourself and your spouse and the organization to deal with the loss. The second stage is what Bridges calls “The Neutral Zone”. This phase is much more challenging because it feels like you are in limbo or as Peter Pan called it, ‘Never Never Land’. You never think that you are going to get out of this time zone. It is what Bridges describes as an in-between time, when the old is gone but the new isn’t fully operational. He calls this the neutral zone because you are not going anywhere, you exist in what feels like a confused state. Bridges says this is a critical time because this is when your brain makes psychological realignments and changes old patterns to find new ones. For example, using our husband and wife in the empty nest syndrome again, they have to readjust their way of doing things. It’s a confusing time for the couple because their bodies and minds are used to doing things with the children. They will feel disoriented because they have to change the patterns of their day when they were doing something with the children. Instead, the husband and wife have to reinvent themselves and talk about new things to do with the time they once had with their children. The third stage is called “The New Beginning” and it can be an exciting and rejuvenating time for individuals and or organizations working through these phases of change. This phase is when people develop the new identity, experience new energy and discover a new sense of purpose that makes the change begin to work. Once again, look at the example of the couple. They begin to talk about a new adventure for their Friday evenings when before that evening was scheduled for supper and movie watching with the children. The couple may find themselves joining a gym and working out together on the nights they used to spend time with their children. These are all new creative ways of starting new beginnings in their lives. Just thinking about new ideas and new ways of doing things can energize the couple and or an organization in this phase. Finally, Bridges passes on some very important information with regards to these stages of managing change in your life. He says research has shown changes of any sort-even though they may be justified in economic or technological terms- finally succeed or fail on the basis of whether the people or organizations affected do things differently. Remember the old saying, “we’ve always done it that way”. It’s a sure sign of avoiding change at all costs. And the real danger Bridge says is that instead of learning how to deal with change people who do not go through these three phases become even more resistant and rigid to change. Bridges says in terms of organizations, “Do the employees let go of the old way of doing things, go through that difficult time between the old way and the new, and come out doing things the new way?” If they don’t help people through these three phases, even the most wonderful training programs often fall flat. The leaders forget endings and neutral zones; they try to start with the final stage of transition, and they can’t see what went wrong. So let me return to my funny story about the parrot that changed his ways. He went through the three stages of change and transition in a real hurry while he was in the freezer. He went through stage one by letting go of his past. He saw the frozen chicken and dealt with his losses. “I don’t want to look like that.” He went through the second neutral stage by telling himself that change isn’t so bad after all. It will be challenging but I can change that bad pattern of behaviour in my life. And finally, he dealt with the third stage of new beginnings by seeing himself in a whole new way and changing his behaviour. “I can say things in a whole new healthy way.” And he did. Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a good thing that leads us to a new way of doing something in a very healthy way. Go and do it... now you know how. CORNER OF DINSLEY & MILL STREETS MINISTER Rev. Gary Clark, BA, M. Div. All Welcome MUSIC DIRECTOR Floyd Herman, BA, M. Ed.OFFICE: 519-523-4224 Sunday, August 30 See the Play Hear the Sermon “Fury” Sunday, September 6 We Celebrate Our First Responders! Worship Service & Sunday School at 10 a.m. MUSIC DIRECTOR Floyd Herman, BA, M. Ed. Children Welcome Youre Invited to come worship with us Sunday, August 30 Brussels Business & Cultural Centre at 10:30 a.m. and at various homes at 6:30 p.m. from July 5 to Sept. 6 Sunday School for children 4 to 12 years of age at 9:30 a.m. Childcare provided for infants and preschoolers during the sermon. Coffee & cookies after the morning service. For additional details please contact Pastor Andrew Versteeg 519.887.8621 Steve Klumpenhower 519.292.0965 Rick Packer 519.527.0173 SUNDAYS Morning Service 10:00 am Evening Service 7:30 pm Hwy. 4, Blyth www.blythcrc.ca 519-523-4743 Minister: Pastor Gary van Leeuwen You’re Invited To Join Us In Worship BLYTH CHRISTIAN REFORMED CHURCH MELVILLE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH BRUSSELS Rev. Elwin Garland SUNDAY, AUGUST 30 Nursery care available 519-887-9017 Worship & Sunday School - 10 am Coffee & Snacks - 11 am We invite you to join our church family in: Fridays 11:30 am - 1:00 pm ~ Soup & More 2 - a free community meal held in Melville’s basement, and made possible by the Brussels churches working together. BRUSSELS WORSHIP SERVICE AND SUNDAY SCHOOL 11:00 am All Welcome United Church Minister: Rev. Gary Clark, BA, M.Div. Bulletin notices: 519-523-4224 blythunited@tcc.on.ca Church bookings: 519-887-6377 Other concerns: 226-963-1175 Huron Chapel Every Sunday @10:30am huronchapel.com getlivingwater.org Living Water Christian Fellowship Pastor: Ernest Dow ~ 519-523-4848 August: VISITATION SUNDAYS Evangelical Missionary Church Worship at a church near you! Make your HOLIday HOLY From the Minister’s Study Managing transitions, welcoming change ON $6.00 THURSDAYS Drop into either of our offices any Thursday with your word classified (maximum 20 words) and pay only $6.00 + HST (paid in advance). That’s $1.00 off regular rates. The Citizen BUY? SELL? TRY CLASSIFIED