HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2015-06-25, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 25, 2015. PAGE 5.
My morning newspaper tells me that
the city fathers of Beijing have
banned smoking within city limits.
That should go well.
There are some 21,516,000 citizens in
Beijing. Near as I can reckon, 21,515,999 are
fully committed nicotiniacs sucking on gaspers
from the time they get up in the morning until
they collapse in a cloud of second-hand smoke
at night.
It’s a China thing. The country produces
almost half the world’s cigarettes and boasts –
if that’s the word – some 350 million smokers.
I never thought I’d see smoking become illegal
in the Chinese capital – but then I never
thought I’d see smoking banned in Toronto and
Montreal. Both those unlikely scenarios have
come to pass.
The habit has undergone incredible
transformations in my lifetime. When I was
a pup, I could peruse magazine ads featuring
a young Hollywood actor impersonating
a doctor and exhorting me to light up,
because “nine out of 10 doctors smoke
Chesterfields.”
Even more bizarre: the young actor’s name
was Ronald Reagan.
It’s not that many years ago that Canadians
routinely puffed away in offices and factories,
in restaurants and doctors’ waiting rooms, even
at the back of the Greyhound bus.
And if you’re a fossil like me, you’ll
remember when every flight on Air Canada
reserved rows 16 through 18 for smokers.
About the only place you couldn’t smoke
was sitting in church or standing beside the gas
pump while you were filling your tank.
Did I smoke? Of course. Everybody did. It
was cool, it was adventurous, it was co-ed.
As the ad for Virginia Slims cigarettes used
to say: “You’ve come a long way, baby”.
Yeah, well. Now the bills are coming in.
Epidemiologists at the University of Montreal
have come up with a yardstick for measuring
the probability of getting cancer from
smoking. How much do you have to smoke to
get cancer? They reckon five pack years should
do it.
A ‘pack year’ is achieved by smoking a pack
of cigarettes a day (20 cigarettes) for one year.
Do that for five years and you double your
chances of dying from lung cancer. Doesn’t
matter if you smoke two packs a day for two
and a half years or 10 cigarettes a day for 10
years. Any combination that adds up to five
pack years puts you in the kill zone.
But here’s the killer statistic for me:
researchers say that if no one smoked, 98 per
cent of all lung cancer would be eliminated –
and up to 90 per cent of throat cancers as well.
Me? I haven’t smoked for decades – and I
can count on the un-nicotine-stained fingers of
one hand the number of people I know who
continue to smoke. That doesn’t mean that we
ex-smokers are off the hook – only that we’ve
somewhat lowered the odds against us.
A little over four million Canadians continue
to smoke, but the number is shrinking every
year. Eighty-five per cent of us do not smoke.
That’s the highest ever recorded. Smoking is a
dying habit.
But then, it always was.
Arthur
Black
Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn’s Sense
I’m a big fan of function trumping form
when it comes to pretty much anything in
this world.
Whether it’s a vehicle, a computer, a tool,
clothing or any other kind of product you can
think of, I’m a heck of a lot more likely to buy
something that works well over something that
looks good.
If there’s a choice, however, I will give form
its due appreciation. For example, the fact that
the majority of the appliances in my kitchen
(that aren’t major investments like a fridge or a
dishwasher) are red. That isn’t because we
went out of our way looking for red things,
that’s because we found appliances we liked
and bought them in red. Maybe I’m a little
overly concerned about how organized my
kitchen looks, but having the blender, the
stand-mixer, the toaster, the kettle, the
coffee maker, my thermos, our mixing
bowls, my coffee bean grinder and our
cookware all the same colour just puts a smile
on my face.
However, you won’t ever catch me buying
something because it looks neat if I don’t need
it. That phase of my life is long behind me and
I have the shelves and shelves full of ‘kitch’
stuff to prove it.
Now-a-days, I’m more concerned about
having something that works than I am having
a specific label or look to things.
Maybe that’s why I just plain and simple
don’t understand the craze behind the Cowboy
boot sandals.
If you’re unaware of the items (which are
featured in a CBC story proudly featured on
the front page of CBC News), I’ll break it
down for you.
From the top of the boots down to the heel,
they resemble a cowboy boot. Beyond there,
however, things get a little odd.
The outside of the boot has been cut away,
leaving nothing but a sole and a flip-flop-like
leather strap across the toes.
They even come complete with heels.
Apparently they are the perfect footwear
for those getting ready to visit the Calgary
Stampede next month because they offer
the fashion of a cowboy boot with the
breeziness of a pair of sandals (on the top of
your feet, the rest of your legs, nearly up to
your knees, will likely still be sweating like
someone on a diet at an all-you-can-
eat breakfast buffet).
I just, plain and simple, don’t get it.
For starters, it isn’t a convertible or
reversible process. You can’t replace the panels
of (rather expensive) leather of which the
boots are made. To put it into car terms, that
would be like having a topless car and not
being able to put the top on or up when the rain
and the snow start coming.
Secondly, part of wearing cowboy boots is
that boots really are a necessity. The small
amount of time I’ve spent on farms and around
horses being ridden has shown me the last
thing you want is a pair of boots that don’t
cover the entire foot, especially if you happen
to step in what my father likes to call, a horse’s
“land mines”.
The idea of stepping in one of those
(undoubtedly while being distracted by
taking pictures of things or talking to
someone on the phone or something else
you really shouldn’t be doing while walking)
and having it inch up over the edges of your
shoes and smearing your exposed foot is
enough of a turn-off to make me think these
things are a complete waste of time and
money.
Add to those facts that, to make them, you
have to either order them or ruin a perfectly
good pair of boots, and the world just has me
stumped. How could anyone possibly think
this is a good idea?
People are buying them however, and buying
them from a company called Redneck Boot
Sandals (I’ll give you a second to recover from
how much of a shock the name must have
been).
Apparently, according to the company’s
Facebook site, hundreds of people are ordering
the products.
According to owner and creator of the
product, Scotty Franklin, the sandals are
going to be the most functional and
fashionable piece of clothing this summer. I
question that assessment.
Unfortunately, Mr. Franklin won’t be able
to make the Calgary Stampede. I say
unfortunately because, with what little
I know about the event, I bet he could
build a whole new factory to produce
his footwear with what he would sell
there.
I’m only guessing here, but I have to
figure that at an event like the Calgary
Stampede, which features the “hundred-dollar
hot dog”, cockroach pizza, mini-doughnut ice-
pops and various takes on the corn dog
(including one four-times larger than a normal
corn dog and a lobster corn-dog) would be the
perfect place to find people more than happy to
pay for something that’s all sizzle and no
steak.
Well, except or that hundred-dollar hot dog.
Called the Dragon Dog, it’s a monstrosity. It
starts as a cognac-imbued bratwurst topped
with Kobe beef, truffles and fresh lobster on a
sweet bread bun. Ignoring the fact that the
lobster might kill me, that still seems like
overkill.
Back to point here, however, if anyone is
going to spend $100 on a hot dog (and the
hundred dollar hot dog isn’t just a name, that is
the price tag), I’m sure they would be more
than happy to put down a good chunk of
change to keep their toes cool. After all, they
wouldn’t want to sweat out the cognac too
quickly.
However, it does take all kinds to make the
world turn, so I guess, if Scotty Franklin is
making a buck, who am I to say the idea is
bad?
Personally, however, I’ll keep a pair of flip-
flops for when I’m beach-bound or on my day-
off and a pair of steel-toed boots for when I’m
on a job site or tramping through a field. To
me, that only makes sense.
Denny
Scott
Denny’s Den
Neiler v. The Donald
As someone who has followed Neil
Young’s music and personal life for
well over a decade now, I didn’t even
have to hear the second part of the Donald
Trump/“Rockin’ in the Free World” story to
know how it ended.
Real estate magnate Trump, who owns
luxury hotels all over the world, is on the
complete other end of the spectrum from
Young – a man who has made a living writing
music about the disadvantaged among us,
whether it be the poor, First Nations
communities or those with disabilities. Young
is in touch with the common man. Trump, I
fear going out on a limb here, is not.
While Trump has no doubt had his financial
ups and downs, he was permanently thrust
back into the spotlight in recent years with his
reality television show The Apprentice –a
show in which “The Donald” would sashay
about his board room, Manhattan and other
exotic locations in the style of King four-letter-
word-that-starts-with-s and drone on about
things being “the biggest and best in the
world”.
Trump threw his opinion into the political
arena before officially throwing his hat in,
when, for whatever reason, he began
demanding that U.S. President Barack Obama
provide his birth certificate to the American
people. He had initially threatened to run
for president, but, in the end, decided against
it.
Earlier this month, however, Trump
announced that he would be seeking the title of
Most Powerful Man in the World (someone he
no doubt already thinks he is) by blasting, on a
loop, Young’s anthem “Rockin’ in the Free
World” through the halls of Trump Tower in
New York City.
Young immediately issued a statement
denouncing Trump’s use of the song, saying
that he has long been a supporter of Bernie
Sanders and clearly not Trump.
Taking the high road, of course, Trump fired
back saying that he was legally allowed to use
the song, but in respect to Young’s wishes,
would discontinue its use – adding that he still
likes Young as a person.
To me, it just seems like a decision that
would have flown a red flag immediately.
Trump and I, of course, probably don’t think
exactly alike, I would venture a guess.
Young has distinguished his career by being
a hippie and raging against those who make
money their prime objective in life.
Meanwhile, if you were to look up the idea of
making money your prime objective in life,
there would likely be a picture of Trump on the
page.
The song has been used for years as a bit of
an anthem for not letting “the man” hold you
down. The Donald is the man of whom we’ve
been hearing for years.
I can only imagine (and maybe hope) that
this is just the beginning of a long and hilarity-
filled campaign for Trump that will be littered
with all kinds of these gaffs and poor decisions
along the way.
But who knows? Stranger things have
happened.
I remember the last two celebrities to run in
elections. There was action movie star and
bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger and, of
course, former pro wrestler Jesse “The Body”
Ventura, although he changed his name to
Jesse “The Mind” Ventura when he was in
office. They both seemed like jokes, but they
both won. Maybe The Donald will be next.
There, I wrote a whole column about Donald
Trump and didn’t even mention his hair.
Other Views
Cowboy boot sandals? What’s next?
Lighting up: a dying habit
“People who claim that they’re evil are
usually no worse than the rest of us... It’s
people who claim that they’re good, or any
way better than the rest of us, that you have
to be wary of.”
– Gregory Maguire
Final Thought