HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2015-03-05, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 2015. PAGE 5.
The story goes that one afternoon
F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest
Hemingway were sitting around having
a whiskey or two and chatting about wealth.
F. Scott templed his fingers and opined
loftily: “Of course the very rich are different
from you and me.”
“Yes,” said Hemingway. “They have more
money.”
That they do. A report released in
Switzerland last month forecasts that by next
year more than half the world’s wealth will be
owned by less than one per cent of the
population. Put another way, the 80 wealthiest
people in the world will have as much money
as three and a half billion of the world’s
poorest. How will they spend it? Have another
drink, F. Scott, and let’s count some of the
ways.
Ten underground parking spaces have just
been put on the market in downtown New York
under an apartment building at 42 Crosby St.
The spaces – empty, mind – which measure 10
feet by 15 feet, are listed at $1 million.
Each.
Once you’ve got the jalopy ensconced
you might consider popping over to London
to book a flight on the new Airbus A380.
It flies daily between London and Abu
Dhabi and offers fliers three-room suites –
living room, bedroom, private bath and
shower -- plus a butler. Price of a ticket:
$21,000. One-way, of course.
That would be so much confetti for, say,
Mukesh Ambani. He’s a billionaire who lives
in Mumbai. You know Mumbai – full of
teeming slums and wretched masses sleeping
and dying in the streets.
Not in Mister Ambani’s neighbourhood. He
lives in a 400,000 square foot (not a typo)
house that is 27 storeys (also not a typo) high.
A place like that requires serious maintenance.
Fortunately Mister Ambani has a staff of 600
to see to the details.
Ah, well. Such is the price of bliss. What
was it the Duchess of Windsor said – “One can
never be too rich or too thin?” If, like me, you
suffer from neither of those afflictions, take
heart in the findings of a recent Harvard study
of what being rich means.
Here’s how it came about: Michael Norton, a
professor at the Harvard School of Business,
persuaded a big investment bank to let him
survey the bank’s rich clients.
His purpose was to find out how getting
more money affected people who were already
rich. He asked these rich people (the poorest
were millionaires) how happy they were – and
how much money it would take to make them
even happier.
The answers were (a) Not particularly and
(b) Lots, lots, more.
“All of them said they needed two or three
times more than they had to feel happier,” says
the professor.
Conclusion: the old cliche is actually
true. Money won’t buy you happiness –
although even the very rich continue to believe
it does.
But here’s the kicker: money can make you
happy – if you give it away. “While spending
money upon oneself does nothing for one’s
happiness,” says Professor Norton, “spending
it on others increases happiness.”
So accumulating mountains of money can
make you happy. But only if you don’t keep it.
Who said the gods don’t have a sense of
humour?
Arthur
Black
Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn’s Sense
If you are the kind of person who
is so interested in celebrity that you
would spend hundreds (if not thousands)
of dollars on something that belonged
to someone infamous, well you are
in luck.
Former embattled Toronto Mayor and
current slightly-less-embattled Councillor
Rob Ford has decided that he’s going to get
ahead of the game on selling his effects
antemortem.
Ford is joining countless celebrities before
him in selling his personal affects before his
family does so after his demise and if eBay is
any indication of what people want, then
people want a piece of Ford Nation.
By the time you read this column, the
majority of the big-ticket items will have
already found a buyer but, as I write this, two
days and three hours prior to the closing date,
Ford memorabilia is selling for quite a lot of
money.
The infamous tie that Ford wore during
his “I smoked crack” confessional is the
highest-valued item, currently going for
$12,093.06. Other items are selling for far less
including:
• Ford’s print pants for $428.46
• A Saskatchewan Roughriders jersey given
to Ford at a game currently listed for
$1,221.32.
• Rob Ford autographed photos for between
$22.42 and $45.06.
• A sweater that Ford claims he wore while
jogging with National Post reporter Ben
Kaplan (that looks very similar to the one he
wore in a picture of him that was circulated by
media outlets when he was originally accused
of smoking crack) is currently selling for
$656.71.
• A framed “Keep Calm and Carry On
Poster” that Ford had hung in the mayoral
office just over a year ago for $488.53
• A Buffalo Bills #22 Fred Jackson jersey
which was worn by Ford for $82.09.
• A Ford Nation sweatshirt for $94.10
• A Blue Jays jersey for $124.53
• A Toronto Rock lacrosse jersey for $104.51
• A 100th Grey Cup seat cushion for $80.09.
• Ford’s jacket from his time as a high school
football coach at Don Bosco Catholic
Secondary School for $532.58
Some of the items, such as the pictures, will
be available until Sunday evening, so get your
credit cards out Ford fanatics! Each item even
comes with a certificate of authenticity from
Ford himself.
I could go on about Ford’s personal
problems, his politics and everything else that
the man did to embarrass Toronto (and
therefore Canada), but I think the more
embarrassing part, as a human being, is that
these items are selling like the proverbial
hotcakes.
Each one of these items have multiple bids
on them. The lowest items have around 20 bids
while the highest have over 100.
That means that, somewhere out there, there
is someone who saw that infamous tie for sale
and said, “I’m comfortable paying upwards of
$12,000 for a tie that Ford wore when he said
he smoked crack.”
It’s just plain silly. Ford hasn’t done
anything to justify these prices or even
justify any demand for the items. As a matter
of fact, if there is any justice or logic in this
world, 50 years from now Rob Ford will be no
more or less famous than any other mayor of
Toronto.
Unfortunately, justice and logic seem to be
at an all-time low from my comfortable chair
in the den.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that Ford is
going through cancer, something I wouldn’t
wish upon anyone. I’ve seen how it ravages
people and I wish I could forget it.
Maybe it’s because of his experience
with cancer that he’s selling things. When
he started he said 10 per cent of the money
raised will go to Mount Sinai Hospital,
however the other 90 per cent is vaguely
earmarked for “undetermined charities.”
Despite that, I can’t begrudge Ford for
trying to raise that money.
I can begrudge the people bidding, however,
for putting the idea in everyone’s head that
anyone, regardless of how famous or infamous
they are, adds that kind of value to what is, at
most a $100 tie brand new.
If someone has $12,000 he’s willing to part
with, wouldn’t it be better off to just give it to
the charities and stop the circus that is Ford’s
activities?
Unfortunately, even if that happened, Ford
isn’t the only person finding riches among
those on the internet with less sense than
money.
Crowdfunding is the newest way for people
to take ridiculous ideas and sell them or find
capital for them.
People have, through crowdfunding sought
to produce magic stones that enhance
telepathic abilities, dozens of different kind of
camera and phone attachments to make taking
selfies easier, socks made of coffee, a water
bottle that synchronizes with your iPhone to
track your consumption, a watermelon
carrying strap and Huntagram, an Instagram
knock-off so hunters can share their kills.
Begrudgingly, looking at that list, Ford’s
auctions, with at least 10 per cent of the profits
going to charity, seem like a flash of brilliance.
That said, I still disagree with the
methodology.
I guess, if it comes to supporting someone
who has fallen on hard times, I prefer the local
methodology because you know exactly who
your money is going to help and how it’s going
to help them.
With the internet, you’re never sure if
the money is all going to where it is supposed
to.
For example, Ford’s sales may be going to
charity, but thus far only 10 per cent of it has
been guaranteed. It’s up to him how he wants
to deal with the remainder (there’s nothing and
no one except the public to make sure he
makes good on his less than reliable word).
I guess the best I can do is say caveat emptor
and encourage people to help their neighbours
and local sports and community groups before
they decide that a glossy of Rob Ford featuring
his autograph and a certificate of authenticity
is worth $40.
Denny
Scott
Denny’s Den
Private parts
Privacy is a very hot term right now. Just
a week or two ago, a documentary about
whistleblower Edward Snowden and the
average person’s privacy, Citizenfour, won an
Academy Award for best documentary.
We’ve all heard of people getting hacked.
Whether it’s a friend of yours who has had his
credit card number stolen or the celebrity
whose naked pictures have ended up on public
website, privacy is being compromised all over
the world – losing their precious privacy.
Snowden, and several journalists to which
he told his story, revealed a massive network
of data collection going on throughout the
United States and all over the world.
In the aforementioned documentary, when
Snowden contacted the two journalists who
would eventually tell his story, his e-mails
were so encrypted (to circumvent detection)
they had originally been dismissed.
The increasingly accepted narrative about
the internet is that unless you want everybody
in the world to see it, keep it to yourself,
because traditional privacy is dead.
Then, of course, there is the other side of
privacy: physical privacy. I don’t think I need
to tell you that is the kind of privacy that you
want when you’re going to the bathroom, or in
bed at the end of the night.
Men have been known to be fanatical about
their privacy. Back to the historical portrayal
of men as being the “strong, silent type” it was
that kind of man that wanted to spend his
hours alone. He didn’t need to have friends
around him at all times and he didn’t need a
wife. It was just a man, his horse (most likely)
and the open landscape.
It is in this vein – the privacy vein; a vein
that a man like me, who likes his privacy, has –
that I wasn’t surprised when I heard Monday’s
news about that mysterious tunnel that Toronto
Police found near York University.
Many thought that police had inadvertently
uncovered a terror plot, nipping in the bud a
potential threat to hundreds, if not thousands
of lives when Toronto hosts the Pan Am
Games this summer.
In the end, a terrorist plot it wasn’t. After a
semi-lengthy investigation, apparently police
have determined that the underground tunnel
was not nefarious in nature in the least, but
intended instead for manly activities... the kind
of manly activities that need a man cave.
Yes, it was a man cave.
Man cave is a term that has become popular
in the last five or 10 years for a room dedicated
to all things manly. It is a room in which sports
are watched, cards are played, swears are
sworn and beers are drunk (with or without
beer cans being crushed on heads). In the CTV
story, a man cave is described as “a place
where men can be alone and indulge in
hobbies with other male friends.”
Yes, the quest for male privacy, with the
discovery of this tunnel has reached a new low
(or high, depending on how you rate the
ingenuity shown by the tunnel’s architect). We
have officially gone subterranean.
I don’t know what drove these two men
underground, but it’s pretty safe to say that
they either really hate their jobs or they have
home lives that would challenge the resolve of
the best of us.
Either way, if this tunnel proves to be no
more than a man cave, then I think it shows the
world just how important privacy is. So
whether it’s embarrassing Facebook pictures
or a few minutes of peace and quiet in a loud
and busy world – if someone ever asks to be
alone, believe them. Their next purchase just
might be a shovel.
Other Views
eBay’s newest massive sinkhole
Rich? That’s up for debate