HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2015-02-12, Page 22PAGE 22. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015.
Royall reviews the beauty of ‘Ephesians 5’
Avoiding the dead zone
Pastor Mark Royall of Auburn’s Huron Chapel has laid out the secret to a
successful marriage, as described in the Bible, specifically Ephesians 5. In
Exhibit A, left, both husband and wife are giving to each other as
the Bible says they should. In Exhibit B, centre, the “getter” arrow makes an
appearance, while in Exhibit C, right, Jesus Christ becomes part of the healthy
marital relationship. (Photos submitted)
Continued from page 15
see in diagram “A” how when both
are giving to one another as the
Bible tells us to, that both are
receiving. Do you see that? The
husband gives love to his wife and
the wife gives love to her husband
and thus, both are receiving.
However…not all marriages look
like this. Unfortunately there are
marriages that look like diagram “B”
where we find the “getter” arrow.
This is when husband and wife are
looking primarily for what the other
person can do for them in the
relationship. They are saying to their
spouse, I want you to act a certain
way for me, I want you to look a
certain way for me, I want you
financially support me, I want you to
physically meets my needs, I want
you to emotionally meet my needs,
so that I can be whole and happy.
When you have both a husband
and a wife in “getting” mode… there
is going to be serious trouble and
problems in their marriage
relationship. You can see in diagram
“B” how there is a dead zone where
no exchange of meeting each other’s
needs is happening.
It’s not that we don’t have needs
and that we hope our spouse will
help meet those needs. It is just
when we focus primarily on
‘getting’ in our relationships…our
relationships will die. We will
experience Dead Sea relationships.
Every year the Dead Sea receives
millions and millions of tons of pure
fresh water, and yet it is dead. Fish
can’t survive in its waters. Even
vegetation cannot grow along its
banks. There is no life there. How
can that be? There is one
explanation. The Dead Sea has no
outlet. It receives the best that nature
can offer, but it never gives out and
thus it is dead. It is why they call it
the Dead Sea.
The “getter” spouse may not
realize it but what they are really
telling their spouse is this, “I want
you to complete me”. They are
saying, “I am not healthy and I am
not whole to begin with on my own
so I am expecting you to make me
feel this way.”
I love the insight of Dr. Leslie
Parrot who says, “If you try to build
intimacy, if you try to build a
connection with another person
before you do the difficult work
getting whole or getting healthy in
your own life on your own, then all
your relationships become an
attempt to complete yourself.”
Healthy people know that it isn’t
another person who is going to
complete them. Healthy people
know that God created them to
depend primarily on Him. It is how
we are made. A problem arises when
we seek to be dependent upon our
spouse or someone else to fulfill us.
When we do that, we are asking that
person to do something only God is
able to do for us.
When you expect a human
relationship to make you whole,
you're headed for disappointment.
Why? Because what you are
believing is that this other (flawed)
person will make up for your
personal deficiencies. When that
other person fails to make you
whole, heartache, disappointment
and disillusionment settles in. Truth
is, it is no one’s job to complete
you… not your spouse, not your
friend, not your boss and not your
pastor. It is not fair to ask another
person to do something that only
God can do in your life.
The truth is, as I become healthy
and whole in Jesus Christ, I am able
to give to my spouse out of that
health and wholeness I receive from
Jesus Christ. This is what diagram
“C” illustrates for us. Can you see
how difficult it would be to love my
wife as Christ loved the Church if I
had no idea or if I have never
accepted Christ’s love for me? How
can I give something I don’t have or
possess?
And you can see how difficult it
would be for my wife to give to me,
her husband, if she did not
understand, nor accept the gift
Christ’s love and sacrifice in her own
life? How can she love her husband
like the Church loves Christ if she
does not love Christ?
THE EDITOR,
Sometimes people will ask
whether it’s disheartening working
with Alzheimer’s disease and its
repercussions day in and day out.
It’s a terrible disease, there’s no
getting around it. But there are days
when there is also hope just
brimming on the horizon. A hope for
a cure – yes, but also one that’s just
as powerful; a hope for a better
today, and a better tomorrow, for
people living with Alzheimer’s
disease and other dementias.
That is what keeps our doors open
here at the Alzheimer Society of
Huron County. It’s miraculous
really, to think that for 20 years, the
Walk for Memories has taken place
in Huron County, helping thousands
of people living with dementia. Over
$583,000 has been raised over the
past 20 years at Walk for Memories.
These funds go right back into the
community, supporting those
affected by dementia and their care
partners.
We recognize the importance of
funds for research, and while that’s a
vital part of our efforts, we also offer
support for those who need help
today. The Society provides help to
people struggling with a new
dementia diagnosis. We provide
volunteer matches for social
connection for those with a
diagnosis, but also to give caregivers
a short break. We realize it’s about
the people we serve; helping them is
the most important thing we do.
Each and every person that supports
that goal helps to keep that in
perspective each day here at the
Alzheimer Society of Huron County.
So thank you. Thank you to every
walker, donor, sponsor, volunteer,
whoever you are who supports what
we do and why we Walk for
Memories.
The incredible support Walk for
Memories has received will always
be honoured and appreciated. It’s an
end to an era as we prepare to align
our walk with the brand-new Canada
wide “Walk for Alzheimer’s”
coming Saturday, May 2. The
necessity is not going anywhere for
the support we offer, but as
Alzheimer’s disease becomes more
prevalent in our communities, the
need for more awareness and
support will rise as well. Thank you
for supporting our goal to make the
future better for those living with
Alzheimer’s disease, and making our
community one to be envied.
Brittany Williams
Events Co-ordinator
Alzheimer Society of Huron
Looking for local heroes
There are so many people out there who do
so much to improve their community.
Now you have a chance to say thanks.
Nominate that special person for the 30th
Annual Citizen Citizenship Awards.
Each year a committee chooses an outstanding citizen from each of the Blyth and area
and Brussels and area communities to receive an award for contribution to the
community. If you know someone you think should be honoured, please fill in the ballot
and send it in. You may attach a longer explanation of why you think your nominee
should win, if you like. If you have nominated someone before and he or she didn't win,
please feel free to try again.
I nominate
as Citizen of the year for
I feel she/he deserves this award because
Nomination Deadline April 30, 2015.
Name and phone number of nominator
❑Blyth
& area ❑Brussels
& area
‘Walk’ set for May 2