HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron News-Record, 1887-11-16, Page 4ser
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The Huron News -Record
•
Wednesday, November 16,1587.'
For and About Women
WOMAN'S FORETHOUGHT.
I once 'knew a girl, continues
Clara Belle in the Indianapolis
Journal, who would go to her room
at two o'clock and make every pre-
paration for eleg•uit street toilet—all
but putting on her hat. That was be
cause at five o'clock she wax going
to drive with en ancient adorer
whom she wanted to catch. Over
all her paraphernalia she put a slouch
ing loose wrapper. William Henry
would arrive.
"Oh ! my goodness !' . would cry
the deceitful fair one. "I didn't
dream it was so late, but I'll be
ready in one minute."
Then, to the surprise and delight
of the gentleman, she would return
in no time, putting on her gloves,
and he would subsequently tell his
friends that no girl who ever lived
cduld dreHs•as quickly as his Mary
.Ann. He married her; and during
the honeymoon he .discovered the
'fraud. The mere crimping of the
expeditious dresser's hair was the
business of an hour.
MABIA'S TEMPER.
"Beware of, the girl who speaks
disrespectfully to her mother, or
harshly to her little brother," says
Pa Pentecost. Mr. Beau must
board in the fancily to get at the
true inwardness of Maria's temper.
"Mother, dear, won't you step
here a• minute, please?" sings out
the gentle daughter, and when the
weary old ,lady shuts the door on
the admiring swain who sucks his
Lane 'on the parlor sofa, he doesn't
hear the sweet girl say.: .
"Now, if you haven't ironed inc
a collar,'•.you just run down stairs
as quick as, you know Trow. The
idea of my having to wait, when
you knew ho was coning; You're
enough to provoke a saint."
Then the gentle sister says to
little Tommy before company :
"Here, you blessed baby come with
sissy and get some cookies," and she
finishes the sentence in the pantry :
"Now choke yourself; you little
beast. If you dare come into the
parlor again this evening I'll take
your ears off' the minute Mr. Pratt.
goes away," and •Tommy. steals
around and • begs Deacon • Pratt
never to leave the promises, as bis
life depends on his staying.
A RUDE AWAKENING.
She had a face surprising fair,
All 'men admired her beauty rare—
And I?
Well, 1 adored her, nothing lq,ss ;
To be with her was happiness
Three'ply. .
Of course she knew ; she was not blind ;
She saw my plight, and she, T,'3 kind
And good. ;
For when I asked her it she,) wed
A chap like nicc,ahe blushed, and sail
:She would.
Oh, then the summer quickly flaw
Tilt the time came to say adieu
One night,
She promised when I went away
That every single blessed day
She'd write.
But her first letter drove me mad
Almost, with wild despair, for sad.
To tell,
This lovely maid, for whom I yearned
longingly, hail never learned .
To spell.
iN A HOPELESS MINOIRTY.
A colored man living near Smith-
ville, Ga., forbade his daughter to
receive the attentions of a dusky
Adonis who was paying court to
her ; but having reason to suspect n
'clandestine meeting of the lovers;
on Wednesday night he locked the
damsel up in the house and went to
his work. Returning, he was sur-
prised to hear low voices in' conver-
sation within, though the door was
Mill locked. On entering, he dis-
Y
covere T the yeuthfii1' umoo; W1i:R'
lead gainers • admission b sh�ll.gg
down the chiwnex, hitt mahogany
countenance being aweklred with
trout, "ISa ain't no use atoppila'
dem,",„ he said, "De debb'il is after
dew, but de bawd work wid um.
Leta go along."
WitiY A SHIP I8 QALr.nn "SUE."
Mablreasons, fllauai4le and few.
tious, 00 given by sailors, some of
which gte rather atn.ueing.
The rule iii not universal. The
word shipis masculine in French,
Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese,
sad Possesses no sex in Teutonic,
and Scandinavian tongues. A man-
of-war is, however, she to our
sailors. Perhaps it would not he an
error to trace th culitom back to
the Greeks, who called all ships by
a feminine name, probably out of
deference to Athene, goddess of the
sea.
But the sailor assigns no such
reason. The ship is to Lint a veri-
table sweetheart, and it is a com-
mon thing to hear him ascribing 'to
it vitality and intelligence. It is
not to him
"—A painted ship
Upon a painted ocean."
Our own sailers are fond of be.
stowing feminine names on their
pet vessels, and have often a real
fondness for some real smart "barky"
not felt by the landsman for his
abode.
In support of his choice of a
feminine name the sailor is able to
point to the possession by the ship
of various feminine characteristics
and belongings. The ship is capri-
cious and fitful, like: a 'wo'insu, he
says. I heard one old shell hack say
a ship was like a woman because
the rigging cost more than the hull.
The ship possesses a waist, collars,
stays, laces, bonnets, ties, ribands,
combings, earrings, chains, watches,
jewels, and scarfs, and there is often
considerable bustle about her. She
is full of pins, hooka, and eyes. She
also possesses a forehead, a nose, a
head, eyes, shoulders, and more than
one heart. She makes a good leg
now and then when the breeze is
fine, and can show a clean pair of
heels. 'I'he keeper of a ship in port
is familiarly called the "ship's hus-
band." If we add that she is
launched before she is rigged, and
that she looks best when fully rigged
out, we may have enough sailor logic
to acconnt for the feminine name.
Strayed or Stolen.
—W. R. Shelter. of Ripley. b.,
Inas been fined $280 and costs for
-ending obscene letters through the
mail to a young lady.
—It is said that en old law is still
extant in Virginia which imposes a
fine of fifty pounds of tobacco on a
wan''if ire absents himself from
church for one month without a
valid excuse.
— Betwext the hen and an incen—
Diary yo.0 inquire
The difference ? Why, one sets
on eggs,
' . The other sets on fire.
—A one armed man. in Salem,
Oregon, lately applied for a divorce
on the ground that the hand he
had given his wife in marriage was•
lost and the contract was therefore
void.
— A ragged and dirty tramp enter-
ed' Monmoutll•.the other day and vis•
ited the stores in succussion, begging
a' bar, of soapefrom each. The our,
pose was so apparent thathe was.
rarely refused. After putting in a
day at :his he held an auction at
night and disposed of his day's
plunder, which was somewhat large.
The result was a neat suer —enough
to keep him in luxuries for some
time.
—In Prieatman v. Bradstreet,
which resulted in a nonsuit Wed-
nesday evening, Mr. Osler, in the
course of his cross examination of
the plaintiff, said: --"Do you know
anything tebout bucket shops?"
"What's that?" Justice Galt den
mended "Why, that, your lordship,
is a method of gambling by which a
lsian retains his church mem'oershi.p,"
was Mr. Osier's reply. The truism
was intensely appreciated by all in
court.
— A erehistoric relic, ploughed
up in a field near Dadeville, Alabama,
and sent to the Smithsonian In-
stitute, is fashio,ied from hard
granite. Its body and neck are
shared like that of a human being.
The worltmar'lship is that of •a skills
ed artist.. The president of the les
stitute says there are only two like
this one in the world.
— Miss Ellen Power retired to
her room in the Windsor hotel
Peterboro, about 7 o'clock. She
said she had some sewing to do and
asked to he called .if she slept late.
Not coming down in the morning
she was called, but no response was
made Becoming alarmed the ins
mates of the hotel looked through
the window of her room and discovs
Dred Miss Power sitting on the floor
with her 'head hanging inside her
trunk, her neck resting on the front
edge of it. The door was forced
and it was found that she was dead.
The contents of the trunk showed
that they had been turned as if des
leased had been looking for some•
thing at the bottom of it when she
was seized with the fainting fit. '
._,. —011X1. D111140r
"Sergeant,"as d Carl Dunder- as
he tiptoed Into the station -.house
yesterday, ""I pelief I like to go
pack to Shermany again."
"What's the matter now ?" '
!"Vhell, everything; vhas too fast
and too strange osfer here for some
old mane like me. Dot Yankee
vhas a queer feller—awful queer.
Some man's come into my placid
eafery day and yell out
"Iii 1 dere 1 Two peers i Sot 'em
cop, queek 1 Ta 1 to I Good-pye,
Dunder !"
"Und he. throws down der money,
gulps down dot peer, and vhas off
before I can say Shack Robinson.
It duan' be like dot in Shermany.
I goes mit a place at a shlow walk,
and I goes inpy der door unci
ahpeaks mit eafel•ypody. • I a -k
hits aboud his wife and shildren,
his horse and cow and pig, his
health and his garden, and by and
by I sat down to say to dot bar• -
keeper:
"Hans, maype you haf some
peer ?"
"Yes, Herr Minder."
"Maype it vhas goot peer ?"
"Yes; he vhas."
' "Vhell, I try a glass."
"He goes py dor cellar and
prings him oop, and I take a seat
and play some • shockers, and I
drink a leedlo and wait, and by
and by it\vhas swelve o'clock, and
I goes home to dinner."
"That's too slow, Mr. Dunder."
"Dot's der vhay all you Yankees
say. How long you pelief I vitas
gutting married, Sergeant?"
"Oar perhaps throe weeks, and
that's giving you seven days over
the rest of us."
"Tree weeks ! Vhy, t'vhas ten
years und dotevhas too. soon ! If I
wait ono more year I doan' marry
Mrs. Dunder at all ! 'It vhas like
dis : It takes von year to be iutro-
duced to dot girl. It takes you
von year more poforo you like to
call her by her first name. Maypo,
after fife year I take her hand end
say dot I like to be married, but it
vhas fife year more pefore she con-
sents and vhas all ready."
"Too slow for me."
"Und you vhas in soli a hurry
d-ot you doan' lif oudt half your
days. Dot pripgs me clown to pees -
nese. Shake has run avhay some
more."
"No !"
"He goes last night. We haf
some fuss again. Shake vhas too
much like a Yankee, and I talk•
and tall: to him and I vitas no goot.
Do you .know Shako feels so pig
dot he doan' liks to haf my clothes
cut safer for him any snore !" •
"Is that possible V'
!'Dot vhas possible. In der oldt
country wooden shoos vhas all
,right for ane. In dis country Shako
likes some fine gaiters, end he
shines 'em oop alit placking.
Slbmo oldt hat vhas•goot enough for
Ise, but Shako he must go oudt and
puy von for tree dollar. I haf some
pants mit only two hdlos in 'em,
but Shake won't put em on.
"Und he tell me I vhas a old
mosspack and sooch' vhen T vant
him to year dose old clothes vhen
we could go to Canada to dem
Yackson 'boys in Clinton, and dot
oder feller Banco and buy dose new
clothes snore so sheep as ve get do
old eons maadtoafor hero.
"Took him down cellar, eh V'
"Dot vitas I like to do. I get
dot strap und tell him to come
along, but he says I vhas too fresh,
and he vhas gone before I get. him,
Sergeant."
4"'Woil ?"
"Maypo I vhas wrong. Maype
t has deoferent in dis country.
Maype dot poy of to -day vhas not
like d•er old't goys. I dorm' shleep
any all night und der oldt womans
she vhas crying all dor time for
Shake, and so, if you see him, you
may full him to come pack. Tall
him dot we• try again. If he duan'
say I vhas too fresh I try to make
it all right and get along. Shust
tell him dot, Sergeant, and you
may silently hint to himedot if he
loan' do pettei you polio!' he vhill
pe hung for murder. Good -pyo,
Sorgoant—maype I vhas to oldt for
dis country."
The Hysterical Globe.
New York Herald.
Tho Toronto Globe is unduly ex-
cited. It has no love for Mr. Cham-
berlain and no faith in the success
of any mission which ho represents,
but its alarmist views does not ex-
actly fit the situation.
It imperatively demands Mr.
Chamberlain's recall, and on this
odd ground :—"Should tho com-
missioners fail to reach a settlement
nothing can bo more certain than
that war between Great Britain and
the United States can bo avoided
only by Great Briton's abandoning
Canada in a way that will forever
disgrace the British name."
All that sounds rather inflamma-
tory. There is at present no smell
of gnnpowei in the air, and neither
we nor the English aro anxious for
a quarrel. As to the fisheries ques-
tion, our Government will he glad
to tweet any representative whom
E igland -may choose to send. Wo
are not aware that any • OUP has a
chip on his shoulder, or that there
is reason to feaT..,-that diplomagy
will not be equal to -the oceasiapl.
All talk about an armed conflict
is merely hysterical. England will
do her best to make a good'bargain•
no doubt. For that matter, the
Americans are not averse to doing
the same thing, and they have a re-
putation for the ability to do it.
Nobody complains of that. We
should like what is fair and square,
and if Mr. Chamberlain comes to
this country to talk the matter over
we shall welcome him with the
hope that a conclusion honorable to
both parties may be speedly reached!
But a war—nonsense I.
Probabilites.
Sir John Macdonald was inter-
viewed by a Star ropgrter on the
occasion of his recent trip to Mon-
treal. Rumor had it that Sir John's
trip had to do with securing sub-
scriptions for more stock for the
Empire, the new Conservative daily
to bo started in Toronto. Tho re-
porter, who enjoyed a very pleas-
ant interview with the Premier,
found him in the best of humor.
The success of Sir John's mission
was written upon his countenance.
The reporter remarking that Ottawa
despatches stated the object of the
Premier's mission to he to help the
promoters of the Empire, Sir John
smiled. and replied, "I have :heard
something of the same kind myself
down hero."
"Has all the capital needed beeu
subscribed V' asked the reporter.
"I understand the promoters have
got a hundred and sixty or a hun-
dred and seventy thousand dollars
subscribed."
"Is that unconditionally?" -
"Yes! At least the charter requires
that two hundred thousand dollars
be subscribed before commencing
business. I do not anticipate that
there will bo any difficulty in getting
the balance subscribed. In fact
I have no doubt that the paper
will be started before Christmas"
"When will Parliament meet,
Sir John ? "
"Unless the unexpected happens,
Parliament will meet the last week
in January and will get through in
time for the opening of navigation."
She Swallowed The Diamond.
"Let me tell you of au incident
that occurred -to me once, I was a
young man then, and a clerk in
Tiffany's. One morning a richly
attired lady got out of her handsome
carriage and entered the store. She
walked to the diamond department,
and asked to be showed some loose -
gems. She selected two valuable
solitaires and paid for them. Think-
ing my attention was called • in
another direction, she slyly bet
rapidly took a 'stoup and placed it
in her mouth.. I saw the theft, but
hardly know what to • do. Calling
for a messenger, I sent for our busi-
ness manager and told him what
had happened. Without an in-
stant's delay he said : "Madam„
you have Made a mistake. You
have one of our diamonds in your
mouth. ' Will you return it with-
outan exposure ?" • The next mom-
ent she gave a gulp and I knew tho
gem was gone.. • She had swallowed
it. Of course we were in a dilemma.
"The lady became indignant, and
threatened suit and .violence at the
hands •bf her husband. "What did
you do ?" "Sent the bill with a
written explanation to tho husband.
The next year he paid us .a visit.
He said•that he beliedd that it
was a mistake, but that he could
not afford an exposure."—Jeweller's
Weekly. -
RILL HEADS, NOTE
Heads, Letter Ileads, Tags,
Statements, Circulars, Business
Cards, Envelopes,., Prograrrmost,
etc., etc., printel in a workman-
like manner and at low rates, a,
ir11E NEWS -RECORD Office.
U Y01
pl7 7
- •T
AV OR P44.
LUMBER WANTED !
Cantelon's Carriage Works 1
GLINTON,
All kinds and nothing but frst.class, as we are
now building a flue assortment of rigs. Do not
fail to call and sce_thorit
specialty. S. A. CANruLON, Clinton.
Fri , : r -own,
-..ANTI-,.
ViLLACE PROPERTY
FOR SALE.
1111HE 'EXECUTORS AND TRUS ES of tho
-L Estate et the late Josarn Haas offer for sale
the; fellowing valuable property, namely :
Building Lots numbers 420 and 421, in the
Town of Godericb, quarter of an acre each, fairly
fenced and very desirable for building purposes.
Half -acre Lot fronting Mill Road, Township of
.Goderteh, being part of lot 8 In the Maitland
Concession of the said Township. Nice frame
cottage and frame stable.
Lot number 8, south side of Millar street, Rowmiller, quartos of an acre. Small frame dwell-
ing.
Building Lots numbers 803 and 804, In the
Town of Clinton, quarter of an acre each, beau-
tifully situated on south side of Huron street;
fairly fenced.
The East Half of Lot 22, con. 14, West Wawan
osh; good land, 60 acres cleared and fenced, re-
mainder timbered; about 4 miles from Lueknow
and 6 from Wingham; good roads.
For further particulars apply to
E. CAM
PION,
4164fBarrister, Godorleh.
A. A. BENNETT,
—THE LEADING—
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
—AND—
EMBALMER,
lied Rocker Store,
ALBERT ST. CLINTON:
"BELL"
GRGANS
• Unapproached for
!__ = Tone and Quality.
CATALC L31 S FREE.
HELL CO.; Guelph, ant,
NEWSPAPER LAWS.
We pall the,speoial attention of Post
nesters and subscribers to the following'
synopsis of the newspaper laws :— -
1—A postmaster is required to give
notice BY LETTER (returning a paper oes
not answer the law) when a subscriber does
sot take his paper out of the office, and
reason the rson for• its not being taken.
Any nenst
lect to do so makes the pomaster
responsible„to the publishers for payment.
2—If -any person orders his paper dis-
3ontinued, he must pay all arr•earages, or
the publisher may' continue to send it
until payment is made, and collect tht
whole amount, whether it be taken fron
the office or not. There can be no legs,
diseontinuance until the''pay'mcnt is marls
3—Any person who takes a paper from.
the post-ofhee, whether directed to hi:r;.a
name onother, or whether he has sub
scribed or not, is responsible for the pay.
4—If a sisbyceil,er orders his paper to In
stopped at a certain time, and the publish
er continues to semi, it the subscriber i.
bound to pay for it if he takes it put of th
post -office. This proceeds upon the groun�
that a man must pay for what he uses
ger the Division Court in Cloderich
at the November sitting a newspaper put -
lishei' sued for pay of paper. The defend-
ant objected pay ing on the ground that he
hail ordered a former proprietor of the
paper to discontinue it. The Judge held
that that was not a valid defence. The
plaintiff, the present proprietor, had no
notice to discontinue and consequently
could collect, although it was not denied
that defendant had notified former pro-
prietor ,to discontinue. In any event
defendant was bound to pay for the time
he had received the paper .and until he
had paid all arrears due for subscription.
C11111101 DI11EC7'Olt.l.
St. Paul s Churoh.—Services on Sunday at 11
a.m. Ind 7 p. m. Bible Class, 10 a.m, Sanday
School, 2.30 p.m. Service on Wednesday, 8 p.m
REY. WILLIAM CRAIG, B. D., Rector
Rattenbury street llfothodist.—Sorvteer. at 10.30
a. in, and 7.00 p. m. Sabbata School at 2.30 p.
in. Rsv, MR. RUPERT, pastor.
Canada Presbyterian.— Services at 11 a.m. ant
8.30 o.?in Sabbath School, 2.30 p. m. Ray
ALEX. Prxwa 'r, Pastor.
Ontario Street Methodist.—Services at 10.30 a.
m. and 7.00 p: tn. Sabbath School, 2.30 p.m.
EV
R. W. W. SrARLINO, Pastor.
Ali kinds of work a ,fsaptist Church.—Servtee at 0.3tr s fir —§ab
RIDES, . SHEEPSKINS,
TALLOW, deo,
Highest market price paid. Brio
them along.
A. COUCH, BUTCHER
CLINTON, 355tf
SPECIAL NOTICE.+.
PIMPLES
1 will mail (rre>:E) the recipe
. for a simple VEGETABLE BALM
that will REMOTE TAN, FRECKLES, FLAMES and
BLOTCHES, leaving the skin soft, clear and benuti
NI; also instructions for producing a luxuriant
growth of hair on a bald head or smooth face.
Address, Including 3c stamp. BEN. VANDELF &
CO., 60 Ann street, N. Y. 392y
- MANHOOD
Restored. A gentleman having Innocently con.
mored the.pabit of self-abuse In his youth, and
in consequence suffered all f he horrors of Sexual
-Incapacity, Lost Manhood, Physical Decay, Gen•
era! Prostration, etc.. Will, out of s •pathy for
hie fellow sufferers, mall free the recipe by which
he was finally cured. Address in confidence J.
W. 1'INENEY, 42 Cedar. New Yoric St... 392.
r5 RdldSG/d98-r„-ei'S
WORM P •)WDEM.
Aro pleasant to take. Contain their own
Purgative. Ia a sato, sure, act ctfectr.^d
dutrwyer of worms in Children or Adnite.
•
CLOTHING.
ABRAHAM SMITH,
.Market Square,
GODERICH•
"WEST OF ENGLAND SUIT.
INGS & TROUSERINGS,
SCOTCH TWEED SUITINGS &
TROUSERINGS, . ,
FRENCH AND ENGLISH WOR-
STED CLOTHS,
llfade up in Best Style and Work-
manship at Abraham Smith's.
Now 'in stock; one of the cheapest
- and beat stocks of
WINTER .CLOTHING
AND .OLOTMS.
A Full Line of GENTS' FUR-
NISHINGS always in stook,
It mill pa;/ you to call on
ABBAHAM SMITH.
ATTENTION !
FARMERS !
Implements !
Implements !
McCOR.MICK SELF -.BINDERS, •
REAPERS, MOWERS,
SEED DRILLS, HORSE BAKES
PLO WS,
CUTTING BOXES, SHELLERS,
ETC., ETC.,
And all Implements used on a farm
es Good as tiro Best, and as Cheap
as the Cheapest, at
J. B. WEIR'S
r -ti a°an
bath School, 2.30 p. nr, nag J. GRAY Pastor.
•
IDI PLEAT EN'1' 1VAREItOOMS,-
CLINTON. -. - ONTARIO
:d