HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Clinton New Era, 1887-11-18, Page 3I"luD,AT,NovBM13ER 18, 187.
IUMQ.
A. n1au's funny bone, we presume,
enables hitn to 'laugh in his sleeve.'
The proper way to pack a trunk is
to sit down io qts easy -chair aud
Wetch your wife do C.
Gypsy: Give me fifty cents and I'll
yourfortune. Irishwoman :Shure
• if I had fifty cents, that would be
fortune enough.
A aotemporary thinks the saloon
should be t&: en out of politics. Just
for a starter, wo will suggest that the
politicians by taken out of the saloone.
word sirloin is derived from the
laeach. It would puzzle our best
yers sometimes to tell where the
meat we call sirloin steak is derived
'from.
If the young lady who bangs on
the piano and sings ` Nobody love's
me,' would go into the kitchen and
help her mother, perhaps somebody
would.
`Pshaw,' said Mrs Spriggios, 'them
Indian fellatio at the Queen's Jubilee,
addressed a poem to H. L M. the
Queen. Even an Injun ought to
know that the Queen's a H. E. R.'
' Money makes the mare go,; says
the old adage, but •the wealthy pos-
sessor of a balky equine finds that
money nor nothing else will make
her go until she gets good and ready.
A subscriber asks an agricultural
journal if there is eny way to keep an
old hen from setting. Oh, yes ; wring
her neck, and sell her fora spring
chicken.
The monkey is now generally re-
cognized to b'ir a sort of a connecting
link between the human race and the
lower forms of animal creation. The
question now is whether the dude
doesn't come firot of the two.
An agricultural exchange asks
how to make hogs pay.' This is a
hard question to answer. The best
way toavoid the difficulty is not to
sell a hog anything unless he pays
you for it in advance.
An ignorant old man listening to
the eulogy of an American statesman
was moved to enthusiasm in his des-
cription.of it to his wife. ' Malviny!'
he exclaimed, • it was grand.--Tt was
the most glowing paregoric I have
ever had 'cession to listen to.' '
One of our Southern exchanges re-
ports that on a recent Lord's Day a
Baptist minister paused in his dis-
course, and surprised the congrega-
tion by saying, ' Brethren, I see you
looking at your watches ; I will look
at mine;' and after doing so, he went
on preaching.
They were taking about expenses,
and how men get rich. Said one
My butcher and baker have made
money enough out of me to build
themselves splendid houses. Respond-
ed the other : The barkeepers I pat-
ro ize have built whole blocks out of
w Bowe.
!- Tommy,' said the teacher of
t °fent class, ' that is right ; vege-
tables come from the ground ; and
novy-can Wi=llie -Waffle tell us where
meat comes from ?' ' Yessum,' re-
sponded Willie , with the air of one
familiar with the subject, 'meat comes
from the butcher's.'
• -_...-There •-was•a-heated•-cliseussi.on.in .a_
hotel the other night. ' I tell you,
sir,' said one. of the disputants, ' there
is no law made but what the people'
can change." Yes, there is,' said a
newcomer; 'there is one law that no
man—no people can change.' ' What
is that?' ' A motner-in-law.'
' I see,' said Stubbs, ' that ' 1)c.
Michael Foster tells the British As-
sociation that smoking tobacco pro-
duces defective vision. Do you be-
lieve it?' ' Oh, I am sure of it,' re-
plied Mrs Stubbs ; ' for I saw your
friend Butts last evening puffing
away, quite unconscious that there
were several ladies in the room.'
A pious ,old woman, brought up in
the Calvinistic faith of the Presby-
terian Church, was asked what she
thought of an Arminian sermon,
preached by a Methodist. She shook
her head vigorously. ' I don't believe
a;word on't,' said she , 'at all events,
I know the Lord chose me before he
ever saw me ; for he never would ba'
chosen me afterward.' '
Hostess (a very voluble woman)—
'Yes, Mr Oldboy, my daughter is just
home from Vassar ; and what do you
think, she can talk in seven lan-
guages!' Mr Oldboy (who lacks
gallantry, but is way up in truth)—
What do you think? -I think, my
dear madam, that if she is like her
mother at all, she won't find seven
languages more than she will need,'
They were standing at the front
gate. 'Won't you come into the par-
lor and sit a little while,George dear?'
='--"'" 1'-rio;'T" des "not;'' re it—a George
hestatingly, ' I wish you woukd,'the
girl went on. 'It's awfully lonesome.
Mother has gone out, and father is
upstairs groaning with rheumatism
in the legs.' ' Both legs?' asked
George. ' Yes, both lees.' ' Then
I'll come in a little while,'
l'Aerjwell's. I�roughial. Balsam"
cures..af ' kinds of enughs, colds, brou-
chitis and croup. A.k for Berkwell's ;
take no other.
On Friday Mr .lames H.titcbison,
Mr John Larkwor•ey and three other
youug men, of •Stitched, wept out
through Logan on a hunting expedi-
tion When iu a piece of swamp
t'tey saw a large black sow,and think-
ing it to be a bear they made tracks
for borne at breakneck speed. They
have scarcely recovered from the ex-
citement yet, •
It is said that Mrs Green, of Mitch-
ell, has instructed her solicitor to
enter an action for libel against the
Stratford Herald on account of its
false statements respecting herselfher
son and her late husband. How the
'ady intends to better the matter by
going into court we are at a loss to
understand. The Herald, it is true,
published some very wil : statements
respecting the ]ate accident, but it
made ample apology for its vagaries,
and more it could not do. If Mrs
Green perseveres in her present de-
termination she will have few sym-
pathizers, and for her own sake it is
hoped that judgment may •not give
Nay to bad advice.
On the Wheel.
WHAT 'ROUND -THE -WORLD STEV • AND CHAMPION HOWELL SAY OF
THE SPORTS. ,
The popularity of 'cycling is grow-
ing.
Thomas Stevens, who has just been
around the globe on a wheel says that
the best roads in the world are found
in British India. The Grand Trunk
road is 1,600 milee,an unbroken high-
way of marvellous perfection, from
Pershawar on the Afghan frontier
to Calcutta. It is made of smooth,
hard, natural concrete, beds of which
lie along the line.
How such roads would be appre-
ciated by the enthusiastic 'cyclers of
this country.
The wonderful achievement of Mr
Stevens,in the face of myriad dangers
entitles him to all his honors.
The fast riding champion of the
world, however, is Richard Howell,of
Leicester, England. He is a splen-
didly made fellow, between 25 and
30 years of age, six feet high, and
weighing, in training, about 150
pounds.
He commenced riding in 1879 and
in 188I, at Belgravia grounds, Leices-
ter, he won the one -mile champion-
ship of the world, beating all the best
men of the day.
From that time his career has been
one of almost unbroken successes. He
came to the United States in 1884 and
1885-, wad-at—the-great Springfield
tournament in 1885 won seven out of
eight races.
In the'Cycliog News (Eng.), Oc-
tober 1st, '87, is the following inter-
view with him.
"What are your best performances."
"This year I did a full mile on the
track at Coyentry in 2 minutes, 35
seconds. Good judges think, with
everything in my favor,' could do 2:30
for the distance.
"What is your system of training."
-"-I-eat-plain, good food, and plenty
of it. I take a little walk before
breakfast, and then, after that meal,
if I am floggy, ride eight or nine
miles on the track here, in thick
.11aunels.., After dinner I do some
more, slogging work, and may be a
walk and early to bed. N
"But there is one idea of mine
which I have found invaluable. If I
have done too much work, or my sys-
tem is out•of order, or if I don't feel
quite sound, I take what I have used
since I was 'queer' in 1883. I have
always found that Warner's safe cure
set me up and puts me right again,
and it is a remedy which I believe in
and tell all my friends about.
"In the winter -time especially,
when you can easily understand I am
not so careful of my health as in the
spring, summer or autumn, I have
found it invaluable.
All I want, to beat the fastest bicy-
clist in the world, is plenty of prac-
tice, an occasional dose of my favorite,
and my machine,
"When I am about right in weight
I content myself With short, sharp
bursts as hard as ever I can go on the
track,and when I can cover 440 yards.
in thirty seconds with a flying start,I
reckon to be moving as well as I want
to.
Bicycling is glorious ,sport, but it
has its physical ill effects which,how-
ever, can be easily overcome by the
metho d used by Champion Howell.
NEWS NOTES:. _
The Prince of Wales entered on
his dirty -seventh year on Thursday.
The Nottbwest Council wants the
ballot introduced in all Northwest
elect ions.
Rev. David Savage' and his baud
are doing good revival work iu Hali-
fax.
The report connecting Lord Dun -
raven and the Canadian Governor..
Generalship is pure fiction.
A consignment of Northwest cattle
sold in Glasgow bought on the aver-
age over £14 per head.
The United States November crop
report shows a smaller yield of corn
and cotton than was previously est-
imated.
The Canadian Club, New York,
will banquet Hon: Joseph Chamber-
lain. Sir Chas Tupper and other dis-
tinguished personages will be invited.
Seven years ago G. J . Griffiths, of
Los Angeles, Cal., was a poor miner
in the Bodie mining camp, but to day
he is a millionaire many times over.
His fortune was made in real estate.
George Hoover, an old resident of
Thorold township, committed suicide
on Tuesday evening by cutting his
throat with a butcher knife in his
bain. He had been despondent tor
some months.
Mosquitoes in China have a very
poisonous sting. In a Tientsin hos-
pital there were at one time this sum-
mer a man with an abcess in his face
and another with blood poisoning
from the bite of the insects.
John Westerman, one of the oldest
and most respected citizens of the
township of Raiuham,was Wednesday
found lying on the ground beside his
buggy, lifeless, having fallen out of
the vehicle and broken his neck.
A number of Baptist churches and
clergymen in England will follow Mr
Spurgeon's example by withdrawing
from the Baptist Union. The Not-
tingham Tabernacle has passed a re-
solution of sympathy with Mr Spur-
geon.
. Be on Your Guard.
Don't allow a cold in the head to slowly
and surely run into Catarrh, when you can
be cured for 25c. by using Dr Chase's Ca-
tarrh Cure. A few applications cure in-
cipient catarrh ; 1 to 2 boxes cure ordinary
catarrh ; 2 to 5 boxes are guaranteed to
cure chronic catarrh. Try it. Only 25c.
nd sure cure, Sold by all druggists.
PERTH NEWS.
Mr John Tilley, blacksmith, has
purchased from Mr Wm. Porteous, of
Fullerton, the premises formerly oc-
cupied by Messrs' Barr & Drager,
Mitchell.
Louis Goetlerl farmer, Sebringville,
committed suicide last Wednesday
evening by cutting his throat from
ear to ear. Some years ago his father
also took his own life by hanging
himself in his barn.
In his sermon Sunday night Rev.
Mr Ker, pastor of Trinity Church,
Mitchell, said if he were ,young girl
he would not marry t' man who
drank if every hair i�pp his head was
worth a million dollar
STRATFOnD NOTES.—Mr John Id-
ington has tendered his resignation as
Collegiate Institute trustee. W. T.
Rowlandjust outside the corporation,
had forty sheep worried by dogs the
other night, and ten killed. The
town council expended $155,517,38
during the past nine months.
Children Cry for
THE SCOTT' ACT.
A DEPUTATION CALLS UPON THE ON-
TARIO GOVERNMENT.
A deputation representing the Do-
minion Prohibitory Alliance and the
Women's Christian Temperance
Union waited upon the Ontario Gov
Thomas 13oothby, a farmer near
Perry, Ill., on whose farm a balloon
recently landed, refuses to give up
the balloon to the aeronaut, claiming
$10 damages for the delay of eighteen
men who left their threshing to look
at the air ship.
The approaching retirement of Lord
Lansdowne from the office of Gov-
erner General of Canada will give
rise to many rumors about his suc-
cessor. The latest is that Lord Dun -
raven will be appointed, Down to
the present moment Lard Dufiraven
has heard nothing of it.
It is said that as a result of the
late evangelistic services at Ridge -
town, conducted by Messrs Crossly
and Hunter, over 200 have professed
themselves conyerted. Of these 107
desire to join the Methodist Church,
fifty the Presbyterian, twelve the
Episcopalian, forty the Baptist, and
two or three Disciple Church. About
seventy joined the Methodist Church
last Sunday.
for Infants and Children.
Costorialssowelladaptedtochildrenthat Castorlw cures Collo, Constipation,
I recommend it as superior to any prescription Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, Eructation.
known to Inc."H.A.. AAo;iaa, M. D., Sills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes di-
estion,
111 80. Oxford 1}k, Brooklyn, N. Y. Without injurious medication.
TIxE CENTAUR ComenNy, 77 Murray Street, N. N
A young man in Boston found him-
self', on the death of his father and I
mother, in unrestricted possession of l
$1,500,000. When the period of ,
mourning had expired he bought
a small circus and travelled about
with it in the capacity of chief' show-
man until his entire fortune was
squandered. Then the show was.sold
at auction.
It pays to kill a train robber. J.
E. Smith, the express messenger who
recently killed two traits robbers who
were attempting to rob the train
near El Paso, Tex., has received $2,-
000 by' order of the Governor of the
State as a reward for his act. He
bas also received $2,000 from the
Wells Fargo Express and will re-
ceive $1,000 from the railroad com-
pany. 1
The campaign against the re pea
of the Scott Act in Halton was
opened at Oakville on Monday night
with a rousing meeting in the Metho-
dist Church. Mrs Youmans was the
principal speaker.. All the speakers
said the people were determined not
to allow the Scott Act to be repealed.
The canvass so far shows a gain the
temperance feeling. The principal
hotel in Oakville is being run by a
temperance man and an ardent sup-
porter of the Scott Act.
On Tuesday an old man named
George Davis, resitting with hisbro-
ther-in-law, Mr Wallace, of the sec-
ond concession of Blandford, Oxford
county, went to nail a piece of board
in a stall in which a bull was fasten-
ed. The brute furiously atttcked the
old man, crushing him against the
wall, breaking a number of ribs,
fracturing his shoulder blade and in-
juring him internally. Mr Davis'
injuries may probably prove very
ernment in reference to Scott Act af- serious as be is about seventy years
fairs last week. of age.
It is definitely announced that
the Mercier Government has leased
the old Dlethot Seigniorial Farm,
Quebec, as a provincial model farm.
It is reported that the terms of the
lease is for ten years, and that the
live stock and implements are includ-
ed in it. The intention is said to be
to provide for the scientific and pract-
ical training of some sixty-five pupils,
one from each county in the pro-
vince,
J. J. Machiren presented the.bre-
.quests as formulated at the Temper-
ance Conference in Toronto, in Sep-
tember last. The first request was
the appointment of a force of provin-
cial police to suppress any disturbances
and lawlessness which might be con-
sequent on the enforcement of the
Scott Act, It was thought there
should be ten or fifteen men in every
county for this purpose. The prose-
cution of offenders for third offences
was also urged, as imprisonment was
the only means that would stop some
men violating the law. The Act
would be greatly strengthened by the
licensing of all houses of public enter-
tainment, as this would do away with
the boycotting of travellers in Scott
Act counties, and would provide for
proper inspection of temperance ho-
tels. The passage of a law to do
away with all bar -room drinking was
also urged. The -last request was that
an act be passed disqualifying persons
from holding licenses who have been
convicted of violation of the law.
Hon Mr Mowat replied that he was
anxious to have the Scott Act proper-
ly enforced, and promised to consider
the petition of the deputation.
aso•e• se
Bloomfield, Carnton Co ,N.B., May
7th, 1887. I wish to inform you that
I have been a sufferer from Catarrh for
a long time and have continually
tried so called remedies and catarrh
cures, but all to no purpose. At last
I heard of Nasal Balm and was in•
duced to try that. ro my astonish-
ment I found relief from first applica-
tion and now after two weeks use feel
myself perfectly and thoroughly cur-
ed. Yours very truly, HANFORD
WOLHAMPTER General Merchant.
Pitcher's Castoria:
1tOt3. W. COATS,
WATCHMAKER AND JEWELLER,
l'LINTO:i, ONTARIO.
NEW FALL and. WINTER
BOOTS � 8
If you want anything in the Boot and Slioe line, call on CHARLES
CRUIC!KSHANK. He has everything from the hoaviddt
Farmers Stoga, to the Finest ladies French Kid,
Both imported and of his own Iniuu;wtuU. Ni
Ordered Work a epeoietlty.
Call on C. Cruickshank, the Boot Maker,
ALBERT STREET, BRICK BLOCK, CLINTON
soesoneses parr
Change of Business
11111111111111111111111111111111111
The undersigned bags to notify the people of Clinton and vicinity that he
has bought the
HARNESS BUSINESS formerly carr ed_oa by W. L Newton,.
And that he is prepared to furnish
Harness, Collars,Whips, Trunks, Valises, Buffalo Robes, Blankets
And everything usually kept in a first-class Harness Shop, at tlie lowest prices.
Specie attention is directed to my stock of LIGIr'r HAaNI s, which
I will make a specialty,
REPAIRING PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO.
By strict atention to business, and carefully studying the wants of my customers,'
hope to merit a fair share of patronage. (.ive me a call before purchasing else-
where. RE MMBEER THE STAN D—OPPOSITE THE MARKET
.w-
,
NEW
.11 'ST B ECE EV ED A L.\llu }: STOCK O1'
COAL,COOKING and HEKTING STOV
J
OF TILE LEST MANUFAC"1'UIlle AND LATEST PATTERNS.
Also an immmense stock of LAMPS of all
descriptions, from 25c. each upwards, in-
clnding the Celebrated Rochester Lamp, for
which we lire sole iigei�ts. " '
Also COAL and WOOD FURNACES.—
Sole agent for Harris' Celebrated Furnace,
manufactured by Gurney & Co., Iiamilton.
Another M. C. R, brakeman,
named Joseph Mitmesser, met with a
shocking death at Comber Station
west of St. Thomas, on Thursday.
He was the front brakeman on an
extra west -bound freight in charge of
Conductor Pace and was last seen
alive as the train was pulling out of
the side track, and was not missed
until Rucam Station was reached.
Search was at once made and about
two miles out of Comber Mitmeser's
remains were found scattered along
the track litterly torn to shreds. It
is supposed that the unfortunate man
while decending the ladder between
the first car and the tender missed his
hold and fell across the rai:s, the
whole train passing oyer him. De-
ceased was married, his parents and
family residing in Windsor. He had
been employed on the road only for
about two months.
AN EI'IORAMMATIC STATEMENT
Is there anything in this world so vile?
As the pestilent presence of potent bile ?
We have it, we hate it, we all revile.
The noxious nausea, as did Carlyle.
But why bewail what soon is mended?
Take P.F.P. and have it ended,
All praise the power of "Pierce's Pellet,"
Wise people buy and druggists sell it.
4n
FULL- LINE GENERAL HARDWARE
S. D A VIS, - r.1 O1NFi
TIIE IIA7tI:IIOTII HARDWARE AND SCOVE HOUSE.
The Cclebralod ARGUSfl EyegJasosTHE BEIN USE
B. LAURANCE'S Spectacles and Eyeglasses at Cost X4
CALEDON I A Mineral Water Aerated.
J.A.MFS 'II. CO1111370,
CHEMIST AND DRUGGIST, CLINTON, ONT.
isimmommaiimiiinewir
Cf-HIC). _A., SIiAR M .A.N
New ;Furniture : Stock
411
CENTRAL GROCER
1?. R,0:1313's ()Id Stand.
The subscriber has bought out the Stock of P. Roble consisting of
GROCERIES,CROCKERY,GLASSWARE
Which, being bought at low rates, he is enabled to offer at the very clos-
est prices Patronage respectfully solicited. All order s3
promptly filled. Rooms to .let.
H. R. WALKER, CLINTON.
Opened out -in ZLLIOTTS BLOC'
NEXT DOOR TO THE CITY BOOK STORE, CLINTON.
BEDROOM SETS, PARLOR SETS,LOUNGES,
SIDEBOARDS, CHAIRS, &c.,
"2 1t i, 4
t Ia g t "'' �? �Z ST. THOMAS
--i..ONUDIENTS WHITE BRONZE MONUMENT CO
BE
A
44:049 1./144
Oft %viz
''I er,
c., 6s...
r;1�y�N2E
�o `
ST.TIIO\IAS, ONTARIO.
The onlyBronze Foun-
dry in the Dominion.
AND A GENERAL ASSORTMENT OF THE VERY BEST MADE FURNI
TITRE AT REASONABLE PRICES.
Our material is endorsed by lead-
ing scien-tists as being practically
imperishable. ;It cannot absorb
nioisture, and consequently) isnot
affected by the frost.
Send f r Designs and Terms to
W .M. GIFFIN,
CLINTON.
.ISD: .CF7C�Y�gF'Y.
1[+`41:01:1, BULL JP VOR, .A.1oi'
13 4013 , 1=1 ;117 400 ui
ecre1 --Diend TS,
A Good Family TEA for 40c.
A splendid Tea for 50c-, mixed wit
our Secret Blend Black.
If you want good value for your money, at the same time a pleasan
drinking Tea, try Secret Blend Teas.
PRODUCE TAKEN IN ESCIIAN(:E POULTRY WANTEI
S. PALLISER & CO.
CLINTON.
Clinton Refreshment Rooms,
BUSINESS C:HANC+E
C. COLE having bought out the Refreshment Rooms of Mr. J. Andersoi
desires to intimate to the public that he will continue the same in all it
branches. He has just added afresh stock of Confectionery, &c., which wi
be sold at lowest rates.
FRUIT OF ALL KINDS KEPT IN SEASON:
OYSTERS KEPT IN THEIR SEASON AND SERVED IN ANY STYL
FRESH CAKES IMPORTED DAILY FROM TORONTO.
Par TOBACCOS, CIGARS, PIPES, POUCHES, &C.,
C ose attention given to business, and all orders entrusted to him will b
promptly filled. A trial respectfully solicited. Remember the stand, nes
door to the Grand Union Hotel.
C. CODE; - . - CLINTON.
GURNEY'S
STA10T3DATROD
STOVES & RAN GEE
The ORIGINAL WOOD COOK for Sale by a
the leading dealers.
a