HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Clinton New Era, 1886-11-19, Page 3FSIDAY, NOV. 19, 1886.
Erunsorous sIxet04,111
Hotel Prop rietor--' We don't allow
AUX .gitin es of chance here.' Gamble
ir--
• This sta t game of chance. My friend
here bas no chance.'
• 'My datighter,' exclaimed a fashion-
able Mother, 'is innocence itself, You
can't say anything in her presence that
:will make -her blush.'
The song of the sandwich man is ;—
for a thousand tongues.'—flartford
Times.—Why not strike the grocer,ancl
Owe for a couple of hamar
'How can I get rid of fleas on my
/' asked a subscriber. Easy enough.
Soak the cat in four feet of water until
the fleas raise. to the top. " Then bury
the eat.
Wife—' What do you suppose is the
reason there are no marriages in lioa.venr
Ilusbancl--You stupid goose ;" it is to
offset the fact that there is no heaven in
marriage;
. A fi.ve.year-ohl at a supper table last
evening set down a cap of link Which
he had raised to his lips with 'the re-
: 4 Mamma, I believe the milkman
hitsa sour eow,'
'Why, yes,' said. Blobson, spearing of
a logicalConclusion to Mrs, -Popinjay,
And rather allowing his earnestness to.
get •the better of it's perfectly
plain to me—aa plain as you
neer-little-boys-werc-discussing -the-
. strength of a bee. ' He can't pull more
than a fly,' said one of them.
said the other, 1 clunno how much he •
can pull, bat when • he .backs up to you
• and pushes, I guess you'll fall back every
Old lawyer .(to young partner)—Did,
yon draw up oh! Moneybags' will/ Part,
nor --!•Yes sir; and"so tight that all the
relatives in the world cannot break IL'
'Old lawyer (with some disgust)--' The
next tirne',.there is a will -to be drawn up
• I'll do it myself.'
It is told that after a. most excellent
•
young woman had talked earnestly -to'
•• her Sunday school, class for about ten
' minutes, one of the boy* who 'had been
• .gazing. into' her face Niith the ntinest tit-
. tentiou, broke oat. with, Say, teacher;
you hain't moved your upper javi since.
•you heeu talking.": •. • . , •
• __It. is -easy to ask. a °miriade-um,' bat it
is not always so •easy' to gig an •extlet.
• answer,' when you. hearers 'give it up.'
-Some years since at a dinner. party in
• 'Vieille, Judge Shepley asked Why
•is woman like she ivy?' Into every-.'
• body's mind came irving's "• beautiful
compaeison; but no one • seemed.' able to,
put it ,into words. • Answer, 'The.great• .:
el; the ruin the closer the clings,' •ber-
• tainly creditable. sentiment, but the
• • judge imfortunately got thinffs.mixed,
and in his.'confasien The closer
• .the clings -the .greator , the' ruin,' which
. set the table in a fear. •
,• An Odd Giseatie. • •
EarsoJ Whaegdoodle Baxter, of the
V Austin .Bloo Light Taberniekle; on ,ar-
• . ' riving at his plaCe of worship last Sun-
day morning was surpi'ised to, find .no-
• body preSeat but Saar Johnsing, the
sexton. .
What de ,debble . am •de matter dat
•
, ' dars nobody "wail'
'There's noliOdy:teah bekase dors a•
notice in de Freedman's Journal dat dar
would be no service bekese ob de distm-
• welness ob de ..pasture.'•
-
'Did dal fool nigger editor put dat
notice in de paper fer fool'
- He did dot,' , • ••
I declar ; 1 told bin) 'stiutly de no- •
• tice of my unWellness was intended fer
• • de Sunday after ; he am a fool, ef.
• eber dor -was
•••••
Disposed Of.
. •
Bobby Wasevidently •verymuch per-
. plexed. q. Want to ask.you Mr. Feather-
-"ly.' he said during it,11111 in theconversa-
tion, 'hent your hous& and lot.'
' I have no house and let, Bobby,'
• replied Featherly, a trifle uneasy. I
sold theth some time ago.' ' Sold
repeated Bobby; Then, pa must'hnve'
made a mistake.. iyeard him say you
drank 'em up.' •• •• •
IPTeasant, for Featherly .,-• '
• •
• •
'Whitt was that Ina said to You when:
you came in /' whispeeed young Bobby/
• ',tolleatherly, one Of the guests.
, •Oh simply that she was delighted to
see mo ; that Was all Bobby.'
'1 am glad of it,' said Bobhy, and a
look of genuine relief came over•his face,
cause she said this morning that she
• hoped you wouldn't come,'
The Lost Chord. "
•
Hear that piano? hear that piano?
Yes, ol&Shaesby'd daughter; they just
do it to tantalize ine. Why, it seems a
very nice song, The Lost Chord, I be-
lieve. Is that the mime of it Yes,
• Meaner and meaner. The cheek of there
• Snagsbys is sornethino. terrible'? Here
the ;id man stole haif of ray wood pile
last night, and the daughters singing
7- about the lost chord right under our
noses. •
Tender Solfeitude.
Charley, I want'you to do something,
for my sake, said young Mrs. Tooker.
You know you are very dear to me,and
ani always afraid something, is going
to happen to.yoe. I Saw in the new -
paper that some men take their soda
with a stick in it, I am sure I don't
see how that makes it any better, but I
do hope that if you take yours that way
you'll. be careful not to swallow the stick,
it ,wead be sure te choke you to death
Von win bo careful won't you Charley
14140 Wag
• Papa, said a Philadelphia maiden, FOR TJE-1E jpEopT
'Charlie wants te knew if you will .say •41-4-4-1dit
e.
"yes' if he oaks ynuc consent tO Marry Qb.emo lititatoz aztoon4zEs
Humph! 1 Mink it is the young
man's place to ask the question.
Oh, pa,, I know he will never ail you.
Why he is so bashful that he would not
have popped the question, if I hadn't
told him that if he didn't 1 would get
real mad at hire.
And SO it was .you -who popped?
Oh, no, pa. 1 didn't Pep. 1 merely
gave him to nnderstand that I was
ling to to Marry hire. if he asked me.
•
georegor PairkeN Carbolic. Cerate
nave Yon au old Sore, Out, -Burn, Bruise
Corn, Salt Rheum, Pimple, Blotches
Bough Ean41 or Race iso, there id but one
cure, namely, McGregor and, Parkee CarbolicCerata. Cerate. If you nut try it, it will °olivine° You.
It coots but 83c, at Worthiu 0011%1:mug Store.
A Wonderful Hen, •
Everybody in Okolona, Miss., knew
�1d-PariOn Fiowers, as he was called,
He was a darky of doubtful reputation
whose religious zeal both in and out pf
the pulpit was considered simply as a
cloak for a crooked life.
One fine summer morning, as Lawyer
Smith was passing the. Flowers shanty
on. his way to, business; he saw the par,4»
son feeding a black hen,
;Where didyorgett hat fowl,_parson7
said the lawyer, leaning over the fence
Dat fowl
Yee, that fovil.'
Why; boss, I'ze had dat fowl gwine
onter free y'ars.'
• Smith passed on. That night be look-
ed at his chicken coup. His black hen.
°was missing. .
Next morning as he was passing the
Flowers place, he saw the parson. strew-
-ing crumbs to a white ben.
Wlear's that black hen saw here
yesterday 7' '
What brack hen
‘. Oh,' you know very well; The ,one
you stole from my ,coop," •
' Who said. I dun stole a brick hen
furn yo'.corP
, said So. '•
•
Looky hyar, boss, you better be er
little keerful bo W yo' fling yew 'sinnywa-•
tions roue.' hyar. I'ze dun seed no brook
-
ben. Dia white hen's de only fowl I'm
hed on dose' hyarprern'ses sence I kem
to Okolona.' • • • •
Just 'at this' point Dr: •Brown come
pars'orl Where did you get
that bird, anyhow
Dun lied it 'dese twy
• Looks mighty' like the one 1 Missed
this inornine • .
'-Carn't 11'p, da', boss,/Illy die- ''ooman
leaked dis hynt' heit.frchn a pullet.' •
• Next morning as Smith and Drown -
were on their way te basiness they • slew
the pal Seri -erintributing to the' Material
wants of a fine sPecklerl hen.
Where'sthat white. hen saw here:
YeSterday V asked 13revin: • •• ••
I *bain't 'seed • no white • hen: Dis'
hyar's do only hen whut's„. been on dese.
pretests "sence,-, • .
• confirmed old reseal,” said
Smith \.[ saw yea:feeding my black
hen Monday; Brown, here saw you
feeding his white ben -yesterday' and—';
Yes,' said Mi. Robinson; whp had
joined the, party' .in time: to hear the
conversation,.'aric.1 if I am notmistaken,
you Are feeding my speckled hElp. to -day :7
• The parsontook 'off his spectacle,
Wiped theni slowly, pot them' en again
and Seidl- ": •
‘Look!Y hyar, gennermenj ken 'splain
(lc hull ting, erlien'a *hut's knoWect
• .
as a chancier.'
A whatb1' exclainied- the4rio on the
other side, of. the fence, . '
'• A changer. Hit •changearcle color
ob hits fedders ebery,day in de yar.
Seed dat lien wid a bine head, a .white.
body an' red wings an' tail. few a
hits a wondahful hen.'
'But, look hjre, parson,' said Smith..
My cook was.passing your 'wine yester-.
morning before breakfastand saw a
of black feathersin your back yard.
That looks bad for your case! . •
Nebber dun seed sich 'spieious gen-
norther': Mandy,'—calling his wife'—'
' yo' triflin' Pis gennerman says
I killed his brick lien, and his cook seed
der fedders in de back yard.' .
'Huh 1 'ondacious liar dab
cook is. Wy, 1 bierit'•de fodders of dat
bradk hen rayse'f seon'sTpicked: 'ern? •
' 'Oho 1 , 1 - thought so 1' said Smith.
Now fork over that speckled fowl to
Robinson and the doctor and 1 Will let
you oftthis. time.'
Nebber seen sich a feel as dat Mandy
is. Might a knowed she'd bring 'apiden
On de elm'ch ef she tole erbout
in' dem• fedders. Hyoid Take yer dinned
Ole fowl,. 1 his no use for hit. Het 'hes
de gaps, an' hit's meat's tough as ink.
rubber.' ;With that he tossed the squawk-
ingbird across the fence and disappear-
ed in high dudgeon.
•
Greatest Discovery' since /492
For coughs, oolds,• sore throat, bronchitis
laryngitis and consumption in its early
Ptagesbotliirig equals Dr. Pierce's "Golden
Medical Discovery," It is also a great
blood -purifier and streeeth-reatorer, or
for liver complaint, and costive condition of
the bowels it has no equal,sold by
druggists.
Christian Guardian—" Our Dominion and
Provineial elections direotly influence the leg-
islation by whieli laws are made,tand the ad-
ministration of them public affairs which afL
feat all classes of, the community. N'o man
who • has a soarltof pati.iotistri 'or public
Spirit„ can l,lik the resAnsibility of taking
his pat both by word and vote in the politi•
eal contests of a free people, by which great
power for good nr evil is pined in the hunk
of I arbatnents and Governments."
• Cb!eigilio Pl:LOVIEIXOZT.
an. 4
Having a large stock of Salt. -on hand, orders, will be filled at.
tbq 'owlet prices ever offered in Olinton, as the Salt Worka will be sold when arrange-
reente..are Completed. Will buy and sell TIMOTHY and CLOVER SEM, A let'ef
SALT SACKS and :GRAIN BAGS for sele.
SIX LARGE BARS OF tf, P. SOAP FOR ONE DOLLAR,
JOHN ISCGARVA •CLINTON.
DERSONS RESTAIJUNT
-,--1111111EIREgilMENT ROOMS, CONTON
ANC)ERSOK PrOprietor
Ice i01•'(i., Elan. ROcift rater, etc
J&SANDERSON, NE Xf Ifistra-eZinrrOW
•murfo,•••^"
If you wish- your sight earefallY and correctly:fitted with the'best's7ectaeles in
the, world, • call at • • • •
ROB. W. COATS' Jewellery .Store Clinton oil the . 27111 'November
LA.URANCE, the - celebrated Oculist-Optican, will he there, and
after an examination of :the eyes, fit you on scientific principles with the B.
LA.UREN0E. AXIS OUT PEBBLE and ether.SPECTACLES. Ensuring -you,
the ability to use. year, eyes for the most minute employment with great ease and
: comfort and the certain preservation of yonr sight._ • • • ' •
Latest Styles in AyieriOan.11at8:,
We have just received some'of the NObbiest Hats over seen in Clinton. Our stock
of Hap and SOFT FELT HATS is.wlJ aSsorted.aed eomprises,all'the new fall
shqpes.- We' show. a very fine assortment of TWEED and SERGE 1301.0CAPS,
.ALMA and GLENGARRY CAPS, at' pyices :to • Suit the public. Also a very
fine line of KNITTED ; AMERICAN CAPS for' Men and Boys. Our selection
of GENT'S. FINE FURS. in ,S. SSEAL, BEAVERS and PERSIAN LAMB'
'IN GRITS FURNISHINGS
we show splendid.. value in •ScOich Lamb'S We'd 'Un-
'clerclothing, and the latest styles in- COLLARS, CUFFS, ik, with an elegant
•• stock of NECKWEAR. \in the "newest designs. •
GLASGOW — CLINToN„
NEW FALL
And WINTER
BOOTS & SHOES,
Aliet C. Cruicskshaulks.
(
My stock of BOOTS and suogs is now very
large, and r will sell at the very Lowest Prices
II possible. flaying made a large addition to my
preyious large store'and filled the same .with.
every kind othe best goods in the
POLI . Customers.caiedeperad, on the very best article
f market,
for the /east money..
FOR.
LADrir,3comirk macs tro.cuSTOM WORK natal unserpasseclAnd M
short notice.
American & Canadian OVERSHOES &RUBBERS
in_Endless Variety. '
Try my DUCHESS and • TOPSY DRESSING Wolf can't' be beat;
Cali On Co Cruickshank, the Boot Maker,
ALBERT STREET, BRICK 13L001C, CLINTON
&NEW • - DRUG - STOR—E
The undersigned has° just opened a New Drug Store in
ja41:31x-Rtkit-tii.ik-aNerVe-gE200"C1; 1E-I-Tur4on Streee-t; -
Two doors West of the City Beek Store; where will be found a complete assort-
ment of Fiue DRUGS and -CHEMICALS; also PATENT MEDICINES and
DRUGGISTS SUNDRIES. All that the public may ask 'for in these lines.
P. S.--‘0flice changed, from residence to Drug Store. • :
WORTHINGTON, Clint
CL- DUG- priiciall.
•.. - . -FRESH ARRIVALS 'THIS WEEK.
• HELLEBORE ' : • .-1 CA.s.iCitER. F
BOET PEAFITME . ;• ' -
. Fine line of • HAND MERROBS, cheap.
. C.A.RRIA.GE SPONGES
•
PURE
INSECP,D1.—
3BUATRAalDES BU.NLKw
. -
„.•-i .CSirnE )30QUET SOAPATA7ASEA7ALT.BARS (zGLISI)- SOAP
• .FREHLt4B3pi0E, . , .ipE
viol= powpEns
. PURE, PARIS GREEN' , ' . PEARS BLOOD/ Or : l'IliON.
. •
We pay special attentidn to TRUSSES, and have the largest stockhi the county. .
• Best 5 cent CIGAR in town. . • '
,44_3113P-2.4 XL' COPAILI3JE• , •
ClIEMI.ST' AND DRUGGIST, • CLINTON, ONT.
NE
Tr(14E'SPQOK
Opened. out inELLXOT .33LOCIE..
.
NEXT DOOR TO, TEE CITY BOOK STORE, ' 61.470N. •
BEDROOM SETS, :PARLOR 'SETS,. LOUNGES, ..•
SIDEBOARDS,- CHAIRS
A.lb A GIOTEAAL ASSORTMm,.T OF 'TIM vErtY BEST itA.1)E '111TRNM.ThE ;Ar
•
• 9E1 YE° IU
• :••-•1 •
T.AolvaDmslbPo..
The sales in our Beady Made Clothing department 'are 'showing a !narked increase;
and we are • now positive that wo have the right goods a right prices. Every
garment .is cut by a first•elass cutter`, and the sewing Will bear the • closest' inspec-
• tion. We carry a large stock and show many patterns,
' • ' . •
We sell a good every day SUIT .for $5.50. •
•
We .sell a fine all Wool Black Worsted SUIT,
• with a 1 Trimming .finished as well as:
ny suit made to Order, for $13.,
If you want a Suit of Clothes, we are Confident yon will Save a 'few dollars by
making' 4 selection froth our stock. We carry a full range of
401-1X133LJEC.
•
Thr, the rale has very few ^ exceptions, that every one who buys
a Suit, a Vair•of.Pants, a Vest or Overcoat; or any covering for •
- :` • the .body. at 'the . • '
OAK HALL CLOTHING • • HOUSE:
-
.Are so well satisfied with the Fit, Make and .the Trimmings,
that when they want another suit they -always. come back to us,
apd send or bring -their friends with them. This is why our
business has inereased so rapidly.
Timis CASH. PRICES E;IGIIT FOR THn rrino$.
Mfrs. Ai. Fischer, Prop., M -Fischer, . •Itlanapv.
•
Dominion Planmg
47•••••••,••
ooper & waffield
• . ' ,audotssoRs.-TO '
•STEVE,NS D. SON. OL.INTON.
•
BOATS C C.Y17 1 - •
Manuf4otnrers of SAKI, DoortS.; BLINDS 'FLOORING, SIDIN.G,. •
• CEILING, MOTILDINGS, FRAITES, PICKETS, 45LC. and all kinds of
. •
We .are opening the seaSon' with an immense
range -of -ATS, from the heavy service-
able Etaffe goods to the -finest Black and Colored
' Worsteds. .
We sell a Boys' Heavy Cloth Over Coat for $2.50
We sell a Strong Durable Tweed O. coat for $5.00
We sell -a Fine Black Worsted 0. Coat foci. $8.50
Our stuck of TWEEDS and WORSTEDS for the ordered clothing trade was
never better assorted titan • it is at the present timie. We aro showing some
very attractive patterns in •
40111.409171E -.1S.
• ,
All our:departments aro now replete with the newest goods that are in the in r-
ket, and we. will be pleased to liavo you call and see what we are offering.
LO SB
0.
• Inte4cr and.Exterior Finishings. LATH and SHINGLES kept
on hand. . Mi11 on.Welhngton St, opposite Woollen Mill.
°
PLANS /ND srEarFIcaTxOI,Ts PV,EPAilEAs,
S. Cooper. W. S. Syvaiffield.,
Change. of Business
titt t t ti tittitiltitti 111.1
•
Tlitf undersigned boils to notif the people of Clinton and vicinity thablie has,honght the
•
HARNESS 'BUSINESS forketly ..oarried .o jyLNewtool
. .
• And that he is prepared to furnish
Ilarnesso*Dellars,-WhiOs,Trupks,`,Yallseso Butfalt .Robeso Blankets.
And everything usually kbpt. in a firsi,c1b.ss 'Harness Shop, at the lowest Prices. 'Specie
attention is (Emoted to nay stock of Luna ILtiv,fUss, whi§h 14011 makevsisecialty.
- REPAIRING PROSIPTLIt .4L'ill16WED TO,
13ystrict attention to builineSS, carefully studying the wants nrrl 7 0140 4 nrl, t
merit a fair share a patronage. (live me ft can before purchasing elsewhete,
plonnmEn THESTA ID—OPPOSITE THE :MARKET.
• a-zp. SINIA"..RWL Ar