Huron Record, 1881-01-28, Page 8COMMUNICATIONS.
W. wish it to to/ custlectly understood that we do
not hold ourselves responsible for the .opinions
expressed by our correspondents.
•
Dias A Cow got Teeth on tlic Front
oilier upper Jaw
J►N 1A'�dF,RRt3TflW t3CF.NE.
.Editor Huron Record.
DEAR SIR, --A couple of citizens
mot each other on the sidewalk on last
Monday as they were going to work,
and one of them (an Trishman) asked
the other (a Seotchunen) if cows bail
any teeth on the front of their upper
jaw? The Scotchman was a little
astonished • at such a question, as there
4aa been nothing said about cows, hut
replied promptly, " Why, of eourse
they have front teeth on their upper
jaw." The Irishman said,' "1 did not
ask for your 'opinion, I asked if .you.
knew." The Scotchman wasi a little.
nettled at this, and replied, with 'stile
warmth, "that if he had a child of
three years' old that would ask such a
question, be should be afraid that the
child had turned idiot." •''You• would;"•.
says Pat ? "I certainly would," - saki
Sandy. "Then," said the Irishman,
"if it is such a simple question, of
course you can tell; have cows front
teeth on the upper jaw or not," "Why,.
of course they have," said Sandy."
e1;$ey have, eh r' said l'at. "Yes,",
s>i d. the other. Then the Irishman
gulled- out his pocket -book and. shook
a 5. bill in his neighbor's face, with
the exclamation, "Put up, or shut up,"
"There is some infernal catch about
this thing," said Sandy. "No catch at
all• ,about it," replied. the other'; -"if.;
cows have front teeth on the tipper
ja,w, the $5 ,is yours—if they haven't,
the moues, is mine, nothing could, be
fairer than than that, could there?"
But still the Seotehman hesitated ; , it
was Hardly possible that cows did fiat
have teeth on the front 'of. the upper
jaw. The two. saw Mr: Marks stand-
ing at his store door, and crossed the
road and asked him, " Iiad cows any
front teeth on the upper jaws?". T. Y
is kbit of a wag, and seeing Dr,. Stan -
bury across the way, told- them to ask
bins, as the doctors knew everythingc
So over they went, and the•S•cotchman
very politely asked the doctor " have
cows front teeth on the, upper jaw ?"
"I. know nothing about cows," said the
Dr.; "%f• it was the human subject I
...Wright give you the anatom;ica1diagiiosi:i-
of your question,—do you think: B.sson-
and Cleave will pass the drain for me r"•
"Oh !" said Paddy, "you must be a
born, fool to think the, likes of us:Gould
tell. what would happen iii; the Council."
"Well,!" said the. Dr., "I cannot tell
•you. anything. about .caws,.. but 'go over
to the Reeve, for he knows all sorts of.
municipal law,. and; he will tell you."
So over the two went to the peeve's
house, and ' asked hi,tli; "if cows had
front • teethon their upper. ,litw„s•?."
"For two. pins," said the. Reeve,, ' 1
would, send: for Ferguson. and. have
you.takeu up for disturbing, me, rtind;'I
au: Making np the S.,ndic►tto.petitions•
for. Right Honorable Malcolm Colin
€lamerotl, 31: P. P.; I tell you what, my
wen, T can go no higher, and we are .de.
*ermined, to, stop that Railway --a rail-
way to British Columbia, ha 1 ha ! has. !
what a humbug !" "Oh 1" said ' the
:Irishman,, "1 (lot t care a t)traneni
about the railway;,, all,I, want to know
is, •'have cows front teeth •on their
upper jaws ?" "Well,, sir," said the
Reeve,, x'lea'e_my office o•tal:e the con-
sequences. The two lads. left pretty
quick,. and going rouud the. corner
where the new schoolmaster lives, they
met a gentleman with whomythey, wove
acquainted,., and they asked, hlni.- the
question, "-have cows , front :teetli...on
their upper jewel" "Why,"' said hey
"Low Woulda, a, oow eat grass if she had
no teeth on her upper jaw 4—you are a.
nice pair of intelligent men,,: living: in
the last quarter or the nineteenth een-
tury, and not to know a simple thing;
Ake. this in natural, history and the
stru,ature•of animal life, 1, am surprised
at you: It yea, would' drink less whist
`?fey and buy taore bookq,,it would,be
better for you." 0.Vst'ollii'.• sail• the
ycotehniall, "you, nor edit i;ti; Cana i
aro going to dictate to ine what I am.,
going to do wit.: my money." "Let
hien go to Mesopo'amia,." said the
Irishman; "come on." A .s'tliey were
considering shat it was befit to do,.
l'a'ir. Clark, of the Goshen line, ,'?eve
in sight. "Oh 1 be gorra," said the
Irislin itis, here is our man ; "Me.
Clark,. Clod bless you, could you tell
as have cew.gs teeth on the .front of
their - upper. ,j; wsi" "Indeed," said:
Mr. Clark, "they, have not, 'for a cow
Bites out and has no, teeth onthe front
of the upper jaw ; and a lhor,.se.1?itcs in
and. has, teeth on both, so these is, the
truth for you." "Sweet Spirit, hear
II(ly,• prayer," said Sandy. ".We have
j �sr� qpr day, bad luck to it l" said 13u+:,
and both, different ways. Igilor-
anie sev-06 t$i. bp stalking.. :through.
11.
Red Stagy" Grocery, Blyth!
OPENED AGAIN, OPENED AGAIN.
ILLORY, (S'eeessor to L Thorne)
begs to announce that he ha% opened out the above glocel y with a new stock of Teas, Sugars, Coffees, Spices,. Brushes,
this seasons .Raisons and Currants, in fact everything. to be found in a first class grocery, Prices for cash or produce only.
REMEMBER THE RED' STAR GROCERY.. ,
Bayfield and Stanley, like a grass-
hopper on stilts.
Yours truly,
ANays MoDowAu:o.
Bayfield, 240 Jan., 1881.
Editor .Huron. Pecord,
DEAR SIR,—I find in your last issue
of the 140 Jai,, a 'communication
from a certain " Gleaner." He tells
your readers•that a certain minister
(evidently meaning myself) had re-
ceived as a marriage fee, $2 in head
cheese, cider, socks and - 5Q' cents in
casl'i.. I am sorry he should give cur
roncy to such a base falsehood, and
make your paper its vehicle, I regard
it asp gross outrageupon thefeelings
of two respectable families, and their
friends. The latter part of the com
niunication is so worded, that no one is
at a loss tp-know to whom the writer.
refers. Mr. ;Stiles kindly gave rue a
handsome fee, in good cash, and it is
too had to have any person shielding
himself from publio scorn under a tic-_
titious. ne ne•—through a public journal
insult respectable and worthy persons;
and enkindle feelings too poignant to
be soon -allayed.. I. trust • "Gleaner"
will 1iene.efo'rth confine - himself: to :the•.
field of truth,, and that you, sir,will in
future see•that his gleanings aro from
that. source,.
Yours truly,
JAs.. CASwELL.
Loondesboro, Jan. 20th, 1881,
'Edit"or'Huron Rcco :
THE'RUSH
STtI L CONTINIi1;S AT
S. M orley's •
Cheap Store,
Qr CARSON'S BLOCK, ' .
'ClintonOnt.
the insinuations made .by
",Z;•leauerr" in 'your last issue may not
be fiptiend by the. parties, referred to,
will you'. consent ' to occupy : a *small
space in your valuable ittper.: 'I will
_deiry_theik ";1L`,,v,lirafalxe,_mild.,could
not have been written for any other_
purpose than to cast a slur upon .the.
reputation of the young couple The
parents may have made their' Pastor
the recipient of the articles.. nientioiied;
by ''iGlcacier," for all I know, . hut. as
"Gleaner lias.troubled himself so much
about what was paid for tying the •knot.'
that separated him from.one sp, lunch
admired, I will let liin'i. into,the secret,
concerriing• what was paid. It was $5;
but do ligt.despair, you: Might get the
job clone for: $2,, (and that' in sour •.atilt.'
*cheese), it pfiu ever -incl one se unfor
tutiate as`,tq have you., .In cseul4 ion;:.
,"Gleaner,;" iii' more; to be pitied .:than
laughed tut; and 'I hope if he. falls in'
love at first si,ht again, and is rejeoted,.
he will hotbelittle himself so mucin as
to show his spite in,. sueh :. cowardly
J4: STIC•Fr„'
•
'For a good violin, go to Do.
TTTIITY dt .GIBBINGS.
t,,alborne.
On Monday morning, of last week;
Mr. James Lochert, Of the Maitland
concession, of Colborne, cut hisfoot
badly: It appears his axe glanced oft
o•Ilnth and entered his foot a little. be
• lew the instep. The wound is , very.
painful. It is about 21 inches long
ancl, one inch deep. Ile. is recovering.
The light or " Ghost," spolan of in
the last issue of.yotir paper,can be die.
tinctlyseeii,;~r'om someelev'ated 'parts
of. Colborne. ib i. readily supposed to
be some gaseons coruption, but still
there•is some tuystezf in its appearing
so often and every, other': night. Old
settlers tell us that in the' county o£
Waterloo,. Ont., such .gaseons corup-
tions were quite frequent. In . some.
instwnces, they would take wings, as it
•were.,nssuuiing someanimal shape they
would ffy some times a quarter of a
tnile.of liore,,ulliking pleasant amuse -
Ment for numerous persons. On : a
st'riot exa.miilation:.of;the starting point
`of those "ghosts," as they were called,
absolute? v nothing could be found .no
marks what Iver. This 'renders it mys-
terious'
terious' The e'uppose 'the one above
'mentioned to be one of the same 'origia.
and cliard,eter, -but tie °re is still a lurk-
ing mystery, a '.feeling a' 'unpleasatr,t-
ness about it. It should be examined
into. Have we no philosophers brave
eneugh to pry into the matter ? Is
there hot an "Ed;ison", in I•Iuron
Surely some • one has the courage.
Dons ,von think so Mr. lilditto0,
DRY GOODS. •
In this department will be fernncl .nne of
the best selected stocks in. the County—
everything complete. ' Clotbcs made
to,order, a specialty. . .
CROCERIES,CROCK RY, CLASSWARE.
Thisdepartment is well: supplied and
will,. be foundeverything you wail,. .}Pe
are bound Mit to be tindersold.
We also keep on: band a full stock of
BOOTS and SHOES.
Call and examine -no trouble to show
Goods. -
Elie
NOW Syndicate._
VI'S;
CLINTON:
STOVES I STOVES
_AT pRi
Crosscut Saws, Crossoiit, Sao�re�
One -Man Saws, •
Oenuinc Silver Steel Latucc.Tooth
OAOSof L•FOR': I■®�
1mperial Measure. -
,SttATES !,�` SKATES.! ` SKATES !
4.Fem0,91,t.
'Shelf ardware,
Builders' Supplies,
• Paints, Oils, &c
1)A\'' IS, .l.'H(ENIX BLOCK:
•
S.
TICE
Apples ' :"anted
WANTED,
'Ten Car Loads
of.Good Apples, for which the
Molest• PACs
will ,be paid,
All ' persons wishing to sell will
please give me a tall.
CU1IN'H�A
C LI ilei
�( •
1�1
•P,rught in Now York .imti bond at auction, in beautiful designs- and patterhs, entirely •
TON,,, NLW to the trade of this County, and wilbbe bold at ONE THIRD LESS. than ilia.
regular price.
J9hu Sinith,
MERCHANT
AND,
General outfitter,
(Carson's Block)
Ca
CLINTON ONT..
TAILOR
BLYTH CAW. MILL
GOSMAI� & DODDS
Are now prepared to do all klndii of work in their
lino. Having put- in a grain crusher,pie are able
to do chopping at any time and on the shortest notice •
GASMAN is DODDS. .
Birt% Dec 17, 1880. • 424f;
Myth. Baker'
QUEEN S•T1 SET.
•D. JENKINS
Would respeethtlly remind his cuslotnema
slim the public generally that in
addition to the ,
BEST QUALITY OF WHEATEN BREAD
He keeps op hand 'atine ussortn vat ---
BieSCiluxUIT.S;
CAKES,
c iarrganoNEIaa,.
• 'FRUIT,
Choice Family Grerie►
Fine Fragrant Tea, Sweet' Spices,•
cEo•, cc.
Also a Good Selection of Glass-
ware, Crockery, Toys, etc., etc..
THIH:WAY FOR
Cheap Boots 85 Sheets
.t'en's Long .13ool,
Boys Long Ikots,
Tortths Bong 13oola,
• lltoMe ee Goof Skan Sir oes,
lhfisses'. Goat Skin /Shoes,,
Woolens' :Thtloneci ICut6.
VICTORIA BLOCK,
'THIS WAY FOR.
Harness, tont & single
.Bu,Ifalo Pobes,
Goat Robes,
Ilorse Blankets,:.
•TR.4..DE FOB WOOD:.
OLI'N'TON, ONT.
eaiin . Sate
IS NOW GOING ON AT`TI1
FURS, .,BLANKETS, I AI TLES,' OVERCOATS,
CLOTHING,` WINCIES, FLANNELS,DRESS GOODS, :&C.:
MILLINERY GOODS AT,.' C1L]E m CE Te•,
Parties in want of DRY ODDS will do well to see the BIO';
f EDUCTIONS.made at the 777.
A BIG LOT OF'
F'I N E CARPETS,
APPLES.
Wanted, i0 Car Loads
OF 0000' APPLES,
I+'or whish a GOOD PItICI will be
paid. Parties wishing to sell, will
please call at once,
2WOM ' fu�lY X Q 13OT T+.�S;
• CLX.N7 QN.
HOUSE FUIRNISHING IN GREAT
VARIETY
And all the Latest Novelties of the Season,
st4r Opposite New Town itiall,O'iLINTO a
•