HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2016-10-13, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2016. PAGE 5.
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Must be true. I heard it on the radio
There's a weekly comedy show on CBC
Radio called This Is That. The premise of the
show is simple: the two hosts make up absurd
news stories, then `interview' actors (usually
each other) who pretend to be principals
involved in those stories. Example: The
announcer intones that Toronto City Council
has a plan to release black bears into city
parks. One of the hosts then says something
like "We've reached Nigel Fetlock, Toronto
City Parks Manager, to comment."
And away they go. Everything on the show
is deadpan. There is (for once on CBC Radio)
no phony laugh track. The stories are presented
in the mock reverential tone so familiar to
CBC listeners.
Just one problem. A lot of listeners think the
stories are true.
Doesn't matter how ridiculous or outlandish
the premise is. One week they announced that
in an upcoming visit from the Queen,
Canadian motorists would have to drive on the
wrong side of the road in her honour. Another
reported that dogs in Montreal would be
required to respond to commands in both
English and French.
Still another told the tale of a Canadian
university being sued by a student for failing to
accommodate her allergies to "cactuses,
Olis Arthur
Black
escalators and tall people."
Harper's magazine reported that story as
fact. A This Is That spoof about Canadian
university teams playing soccer without a ball
'to remove competition from the game' sucked
in USA Today and the Washington Times which
printed the story as gospel.
It wasn't just Americans who got fooled.
Each week, dozens of ticked off Canadian
listeners burn up the telephone wires to
CBC headquarters fulminating about items
they've fallen for on This Is That. Outrageous!
"Disgusting!" "Appalling!" — those are
some of the nicer things they shout into their
phones.
But here's the thing: the stories on This Is
That are always palpably ridiculous. Since
when did radio listeners — a sizeable chunk of
them anyway — become such suckers?
Well, since 1938 at least. That's when Orson
Welles' War of the Worlds documenting an
alleged Martian invasion threw several
thousand American listeners into a tizzy.
But that was nearly 80 years ago. Radio
was new and listeners were credulous.
Haven't our BS detectors become more
sophisticated?
Actually, we've lost a lot of our BS
detectors. Winnowing out the fatuous from the
factual used to be a main function of editors at
newspapers, magazines, television and yes,
radio stations. That was before the Internet.
Now everything is presented as `fact'. You
want to believe that the British Royal Family is
actually a front for a race of extraterrestrial
lizard overlords who live at the centre of the
earth? There are websites for that.
Alternatively, if you want to believe that a
Saskatchewan farmer is hosting a Melting Man
festival; the Royal Canadian Mint is selling
advertising space on our five -dollar bill, or that
a Canadian is making thousands by smuggling
water over the border to the U.S...
Well, for that you can check out This Is That
archives — which by the way, now feature a
banner headline designed to forewarn the
gullible.
It reads, in big bold capital letters,
"SATIRE".
Trudeau lays down the emission law
While the forthcoming election in the
United States of America is
dominating much news (as it should
be with the inevitability that our southern
neighbours will be electing what's deemed the
lesser of two evils), Canadians must remember
to keep an eye on what's happening at home.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, for
example, is making some unilateral moves that
affect us all while our attention is south of the
border.
Trudeau has answered those who claim he
does nothing but pose for selfies and
photobomb people's weddings by showing his
other side; a no-nonsense leader who will
force the provinces to toe the line when the
time is right. I doubt I'm wrong when I say
that some people likely wish he was still out
surfing.
Early last week, Trudeau gave each province
just over a year to implement a cap -and -trade
or carbon tax or else the federal government
would step in and do it for them.
Under Trudeau's proposal for the provinces
(which would undoubtedly be the basis for any
imposed price plan), companies creating
carbon dioxide pollution would be charged at
least $10 per tonne, up to $50 per tonne by
2022.
The move has brought some critical
comments towards Trudeau from both levels
of government.
Premiers have said that the day marked a bad
one for federal provincial relations while,
federally, Trudeau's approach is being likened
to a sledgehammer by Conservative Party
Environment Critic Ed Fast.
While I won't get into much of a he -said, he -
said situation here (and it would be easy, given
that Trudeau's $50 per tonne plan doesn't
come close to the $65 per tonne that former
Prime Minister Stephen Harper suggested and
was criticized by the Liberals for), I will say
that I do recall during the last election how
Trudeau said he would work with the
provinces instead of following the
commandment -style leadership that his
predecessor had.
Here, Trudeau has proven he can be a leader
and not simply a soft-spoken poster -boy for
Canada, but is that really the kind of leader
that we want?
Denny
Scott
Denny's Den
We just traded in a leader who held a strict
party line that included throwing MPs to the
wolves at the first sign of danger and forcing
people to act and speak a certain way.
Following shortly after his announcement
that provinces could implement their own laws
or have laws forced upon them for the cap -
and -trade or carbon tax, Trudeau's stance on
health care also came to light.
In a letter filled with interesting word
choices, Trudeau spoke about a meeting on
health care, an issue that has plagued several
concurrent prime ministers, but has yet to set a
date.
The issue of health care funding is important
to the provinces but the pundits say that
Trudeau may take a similar approach as he did
with the cap -and -trade and carbon tax issue.
He may decide to give a my -way -or -the -
highway answer and leave the provinces with
another bad taste in their mouths.
Why does this matter? Well, for starters,
regardless of how the tax or cap -and -trade
system is implemented, it's not going to have
much of an effect for the people making
decisions at the top of the province.
For those of us out in the bread basket of the
province, however, these kinds of changes
have a way of making us pay out the nose for
things we need to live.
Regardless of how carbon production is
taxed, it all comes down to the consumers and
those of us in rural Ontario are likely going to
be hit pretty hard by it.
We drive further than our urban counterparts
(though it may take less time) and the products
we purchase are going to increase in price to
offset the distance they have to travel to get to
the shelves of local stores.
The products we produce, be it a newspaper,
food stuffs or anything else, have to travel to
get to their destinations and that's going to cost
us more than it already does.
I'm no Chicken Little here, the sky isn't
falling and I doubt the (high-end estimate of)
$10 different on gas to heat homes on a
monthly basis isn't going to leave anyone on
the street, but these decisions aren't being
made with rural Ontario in mind.
Both provincially and federally, decisions
like these are being made and the cost,
inconvenience and problems from them are
being laid at the feet of ratepayers across
province and the country but, where we are,
it seems to make it just a little bit more
difficult.
When work is a 30- to 60 -kilometre drive, an
increase in each gallon of gas is going to hurt
a lot more than people who take a bus or a
subway.
When we need to ship our goods across the
country instead of across a city, it means we
have to pay more already and that's going to
increase.
I'm not saying the Liberals are bad guys or
that the Conservatives are good guys. I'm not
saying we should or shouldn't elect anyone in
particular.
I am saying, however, that our voice needs to
be heard. These changes need to be made with
the rural lens in mind that I hear so much about
at the municipal and county levels.
We need to tell the Trudeaus and the Harpers
that, while they live in cities, and have a lot of
voters there, rural Ontario can't be forgotten
when these sweeping, general changes are
suggested.
And it's on that note that I'd like to
announce my candidacy for... had you going
for a second there.
In all seriousness though, we need to make
our voices heard. We need people to speak
loud and long on these issues and make sure
we're not forgotten and we need to do it soon
because $10 more on a gas bill may not seem
like a lot, but pair it with increased taxes for a
national health care plan, more paid at the
pumps and higher prices for goods and it
might lead to people living on the streets.
Final Thought
Patience is the best remedy for every
trouble.
— Plautus
Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn's Sense
Toronto the Unruly
After last week's Wild Card playoff
game at the Rogers Centre in Toronto,
I think I might finally be done trying to
defend Toronto Blue Jays fans.
The latest "shot heard 'round the world"
home run by Toronto Blue Jays designated
hitter Edwin Encarnacion was most certainly
the headline heard 'round the world after the
extra innings game that propelled the Jays to
the playoffs. However, it didn't take long for
most stories to get into the game's other shot —
taken by an unruly fan in left field at Baltimore
Orioles left fielder Hyun Soo Kim in the form
of a thrown full beer can.
Many Jays fans immediately took to Twitter
and Facebook to decry the "lone wolf' fan for
making all Toronto fans look bad. Much of the
comments were along the lines of that there is
always one idiot who ruins it for everybody.
Really? Is it really one idiot doing this?
As readers know, I grew up in the GTA and
have spent many an hour at the Rogers
Centre/SkyDome, so I'm not some outsider
pointing fingers, but at what point does a string
of isolated incidents become a trend?
Last week it was one beer that could have
seriously injured a visiting player — not to
mention the racial slurs that Kim and centre
fielder Adam Jones claim they were subjected
to throughout the game. CBC also reports that
fans along the first base line were hurling
racial slurs at the Orioles' first base coach.
Less than one year ago it was the raucous
seventh inning of a playoff series with the
Texas Rangers that saw dozens of cans of beer
showered onto the Rogers Centre field after a
call didn't go the Jays' way.
Both of these incidents came after the
spotlight shone on Jays fans for all the wrong
reasons in 2013, when a number of sports
blogs and website identified Jays fans as being
the most poorly -behaved in baseball. "Do the
Toronto Blue Jays have the most unruly,
drunken fans in baseball?" asked a Toronto
Star headline in April, 2013. A poll at the
bottom of that story asked if Jays fans were
getting too unruly and 65 per cent of those who
responded said yes.
This, in addition to Jays analyst Gregg Zaun,
a man closer to the fan base than most,
confirming in that story that fans were getting
younger, drunker and more unruly than even
he'd remembered when he played for the team.
The question was asked after a drunken fan
ran onto the field and another threw something
into the visiting New York Yankees bullpen —
all in addition to further accusations of
throwing beer, food and paper airplanes onto
the field that night as well.
All of these incidents are held up as
examples of extremely poor behaviour above
the already accepted drawbacks to an average
Jays sold -out home game, which includes
profanity, drunkeness and violence (seeing a
fight is nearly a guarantee at a home opener).
For years I have defended Jays fans. I grew
up there and I understand the passion for the
team, especially when they're winning, and I
understand how Toronto can lose its mind (in a
good way) in the midst of a sporting event.
Now, after having travelled to over a dozen
different stadiums around North America, I've
seen that this behaviour isn't par for the course
and it only seems to happen in Toronto.
Not all Jays fans are delinquent — not even
close — but we have to face facts that these are
not isolated incidents and stop letting fans off
the hook with the lone wolf theory. Toronto
Blue Jays fans need to clean it up, because
every time their team is on the big stage they
seem to embarrass themselves.