The Citizen, 2016-10-06, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2016. PAGE 5.
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Pocket or purse? It all depends
It took a lot of years but I've finally figured
out the difference between men and women.
It's not X versus Y chromosomes, or
voluptuous bazooms versus hairy pecs. Forget
bigger biceps, smaller Adam's apples or the
ability to pee standing up.
The difference between men and women
is....
Pockets.
Men got 'em; women didn't. Simple as that.
You never hear anthropologists or
sociologists talk about it, but pockets represent
an evolutionary cartwheel right up there with
roller derby and unisex haircuts.
Odd fact: up until about 600 years ago,
nobody had pockets. Right up until medieval
times everybody — both men and women —
carried their junk around in pieces of cloth
which they secured with a drawstring and
threw over their shoulders or tucked in their
belts. Along about the time da Vinci was trying
to get Mona Lisa's smile just right, some
innovator got the bright idea of tucking his bag
of valuables into his codpiece, which was a
flap of cloth at the front of men's trousers
which covered the er, groinal area.
As unlikely — and uncomfortable — as it
sounds, the codpiece stash took off, fashion -
wise. Everything a medieval man -about -town
held dear — money, keys, rings, spectacles,
snuff boxes — went into the codpiece for safe-
keeping, thus initiating a few centuries's worth
of lame jokes about `family jewels'.
Pockets began to appear in the late 1500s.
011140 Arthur
Black
The first ones were mere slits in a side seam of
men's trousers, but that didn't work too well,
even with tight -fitting pantaloons, what with
cash and other sundries cascading down the
pant leg. Finally some genius came up with the
idea of sewing a pouch right into the trousers.
Bingo. The pocket was born.
But only for men. Womens' fashion didn't
pick up on codpieces or their evolutionary
manifestation, the pocket. Ladies were
condemned to lug around handbags instead.
Why? Vanity played a role. Lack of pockets
gave womens' garb a more `streamlined'
silhouette which is admittedly, easier on the
eye.
Whereas men don't mind looking like a
walking bag of walnuts.
The trend continues. Think of the
Trump/Clinton `debates' (I use the word
loosely). Hillary looked svelte and cool in her
pant suit, but if you looked closely — no
pockets. Whereas I'm pretty sure Trump's suit
jacket alone featured at least five pockets — two
outside, two inside and a vest pocket over the
area where his heart should have been.
Down through the years there have been
sporadic attempts to encourage men to carry
their stuff in bags instead of pockets.
Theoretically, it makes a lot of sense. Guys
have got a lot to haul around these days — ball
point pens, a pocket knife, money, ID, credit
cards, medication, a Starbucks frequent flyer
card — not to mention tablets, the ubiquitous
cell phone and the charger.
But somehow mankind has resisted and the
man -purse (or 'murse') never really took off.
Personally, I think men are too woolly-headed
to manage a handbag. Women have been
packing purses for a few centuries now but
we'd be new to the game of handbag
management and men tend to be absent-
minded and easily distracted. We'd always be
leaving the bag behind in taxis or bar rooms.
Me? I've got two man -purses, one leather,
the other canvas. They both reside at the back
of my closet. Permanently. Turns out that when
the chips are down and there's stuff to be toted,
I'm a pocket, not a purse guy.
When you think of it, where would we be
without the pocket? It gave us a great, if
diminutive, hockey player — Henri Richard,
AKA The Pocket Rocket. Also pocket
watches, pocket squares, pocket books — why,
the humble pocket can even improve your love
life.
If you don't believe me, ask Rodney
Dangerfield. He's the guy who said, "If it
wasn't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at
all"
Getting back to purity of the game
'm not a huge fan of the changes to hockey
over the past decades that have turned the
sport into something unrecognizable from
when I was a player.
Between the changes to the sport's rules
taking out some of its hard-hitting nature to
bigger goalie pads, the game scarcely
resembles what I grew up playing.
Watching younger players in the National
Hockey League and players in the Ontario
Hockey League is the perfect way to illustrate
exactly what I'm talking about; players aren't
just avoiding the big hits, they're shying away
from good -quality, mid -ice hits that would
stop a play.
I'm not saying players should be out
for blood or hoping to break bones or cause
some severe damage but hockey, at its core,
includes hitting as a way to stop a player mid -
action and, in my mind, there's a reason for
that.
The game includes pads to mitigate
damage from the hits, a wooden, aluminum or
graphite (or any number of other materials)
sticks and skates — a legal, shoulder -to -
opponent hit is likely one of the safest ways to
stop a play.
The fans of the sport have also changed in
my mind. It used to be that you would go to a
game and fmd yourself sitting beside people
who were similarly interested in taking in the
sport. Now -a -days, especially with some
teams, inclusive of the Toronto Maple Leafs,
tickets are incredibly expensive and being at a
game is more of a status symbol than
something to be done for enjoyment. For many
Canadian fans, it's easier and cheaper to go
south of the border where the game isn't quite
as popular.
Recently, however, I had my hockey spirit,
for lack of a better term, renewed.
My father, through a fortuitous turn of
events, scored two tickets to what turned out to
be the final game in the World Cup of Hockey
held in Toronto.
The event isn't exactly once-in-a-lifetime,
especially with promises of it becoming a
Denny
Scott
Denny's Den
once -ever -four-year events, however the
tickets my dad got definitely made it a once-in-
a-lifetime event for me.
We were in the seventh row, directly across
from Team Canada's entryway to the ice and,
thanks to a walkway right underneath us, there
was no one sitting between us and the glass —
we had a completely unobstructed view of the
game for the most part.
The game featured players of all ages from
the National Hockey League which made for
some big hits, some big plays and a lot of great
experiences (at least in the last five minutes,
since Team Canada was kind of dogging it up
until that point).
Canada won 2-1 after two very quick goals
at the end of the game (one of which was
shorthanded, which should put to rest any
question about what country truly rules
hockey).
The game was held at the Air Canada Centre
(ACC), which is where the Toronto Maple
Leafs regularly play their home games and,
after experiencing seats so close to the action,
I understand why people are willing to pay a
good deal of money for that chance — it's an
experience quite unlike any hockey game I've
taken in.
Each section has its own sales person
who will take your orders for food and
beverages and deliver them to your seats.
There's also a concierge who makes sure that
people who aren't sitting in the area don't
sneak in to stand against the glass when the
game is on.
It became pretty clear that this wasn't like
the hockey games I had attended in Buffalo
when I was young.
Maybe it was because the game was an
unknown (when people purchased tickets,
they wouldn't know Team Canada was
playing) or maybe it's because tickets were a
little easier to get, but it seemed like everyone
in the arena was there because of the sport, and
not because of how important it was to be seen.
With the exception of one guy sitting behind
my father more interested in food than the
game and the two young philosophers
debating the truth of life to my right, the arena
was a sea of hockey jerseys — people who were
cheering for their favourite players and for
Team Canada.
For that one game, everyone there was a fan
of Team Canada, forgetting the rivalries of
professional teams to cheer our team on to
victory.
It wasn't until the end of the third period,
however, that it really struck me how collective
an experience the game can be, even for those
who don't seem to be interested.
A tip -in power -play goal by Patrice
Bergeron tied the game for Team Canada
which saw energy return to the team and the
fans, however that energy was quickly
tempered due to a penalty against Canada.
Salvation came for the team and fans,
however, after a game of listless wandering for
most of the team really came from someone
who shoulders a lot of hate from fans: the
Boston Bruins' Brad Marchand.
By scoring a short-handed goal in the last
minute of the game, Marchand went from a
maligned player to the hero of the day and
clinched the win. The arena erupted with cheer
that didn't seem to end and Team Canada
proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that
hockey is our game.
In that moment, the game of hockey was
renewed for me. Sure, I still long for a big
hit every once in awhile to break up the soccer -
like games of long passes, but being at
the ACC and experiencing that reversal of
fortunes reminded me what hockey is really
about: the communal experience the sport can
bring.
Shawn
,rV Loughlin
Shawn's Sense
'The Rural Voice'
We all tell stories every day. Whether
it's something funny that happened
over the weekend, or something you
heard and simply have to pass on, the world is
comprised of storytellers.
So it was with this in mind that I served as a
panelist last week at the Rural Talks to Rural
(R2R) conference — the brainchild of the
Canadian Centre for Rural Creativity. My
charge was a panel called "The Rural Voice".
Aside from The Rural Voice being the name of
a magazine produced in the very building in
which I sit, the panel focused on the telling of
rural stories. How do we tell them? Why do we
tell them? Who are we telling them to? And are
we doing a good job in telling our stories?
Some of those issues are easier to explore
than others. And, while at first I wondered
where exactly I'd fit, I was a surprisingly
popular target for questions and talking points,
even sitting alongside Blyth Festival Artistic
Director Gil Garratt, a documentary filmmaker
from Stratford and a knowledge mobilization
manager from Newfoundland, but originally
from Croatia, who could maybe be the next
Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the
World".
The idea of "The Rural Voice" in many ways
is as simple as it gets — it's people telling
stories from their communities. In a global
world, the audience matters almost as much as
the message. Who is going to hear this story?
How will it be received?
Will an urban reader care about a rural issue?
Maybe, maybe not. It's not that rural stories
don't necessarily matter to urban audiences,
but there is also a comfortable narrative that
many urban audiences have chosen to accept.
Whether it's funny, or quaint, a farmer in a
plaid shirt and rubber boots is comfortable for
an urban audience and as Mark Twain said,
"never let the truth get in the way of a good
story."
An example often used by my fellow
panelist Bojan Furst was the show Cold Water
Cowboys, which makes Newfoundland
commercial fishing look like the wild west,
when it fact, very few things could be more
boring. But it's good for television, so the story
is then told that way, not the true way.
Those conversations were interesting, but it
was the conversations about The Citizen and
the stories it tells that really brought things
down to a grassroots level. Being a newspaper
owned by community shareholders, The
Citizen is imbedded in its community. Not
because there's an office here or because the
people who work here shop locally — but
because we're part of the community and we
tell stories people want to hear.
There is no ivory tower in The Citizen's
office from which the editorial staff sits and
dictates stories down to the people. We don't
tell you why you should care about
something — you tell us why we should care
about something and then we bring that story
to the rest of the community.
So when I was asked about my role in rural
storytelling, that's what I said. For me, for us
at The Citizen, it's about connecting to the
community and holding a mirror up to our
neighbours so they can see their stories told.
The rural stories we tell are only as good as
our community allows them to be and we're
blessed with a fabulous community.
During the discussion, I received wonderful
feedback from readers and encouraging
feedback from visitors who wish they had a
Citizen to call their own. Thanks for letting us
tell your stories and become the envy of other
rural communities.