HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2016-08-25, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, AUGUST 25, 2016. PAGE 5.
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Bad coffee?
I
«t is inhumane, in my opinion, to force
people who have a genuine medical
need for coffee to wait in line behind
people who apparently view it as some kind of
recreational activity."
— Dave Barry
Amen to that, Dave. And since I have the
floor I would like to posit a related query:
Since when did coffee become a category of
lifestyle expression?
Case in point: I'm standing at the counter
in the local java hut facing a waitress —
correction — blending barista — who is taking
the order of the person in front of me. It's
early morning, I am bleary of eye, wobbly of
knee and sluggish of disposition. I need a kick
start. Which means coffee. Hot. Black. In a
mug. End, as Tony Soprano would say, of
story.
Except I can already see that it's not going
to play out that way. The customer in front
of me has his head tilted back; his index
finger is drumming on his chin. He is
clearly pondering. Never a good sign in a
coffee shop.
"Hi," the guy says. Then, "Could I have
a triple soy macchiato half-decaf with
extra foam and a shot of caramel at 120
degrees?"
And I suddenly feel very old. Old because I
Bean there,
Arthur
Black
remember when — put down your cell phones
and hang on to something solid kiddies
because this is gonna rock your world — I
remember when coffee — all coffee
everywhere — sold for 10 cents a cup.
S'truth! I also remember moving to a
remote city in Northern Ontario less than 100
years ago and being gobsmacked when I
ordered a coffee and looked at my
bill. Seriously? Could I really have moved to a
town where they charge 25 cents for a cuppa
coffee?
Innocent times. Fast forward a few
decades and here I am shelling out two,
four, even six bucks a pop without batting an
eye.
Of course it's not quite the same
cup of coffee. Back in the bad old days
the custom was to brew up a pot of
coffee first thing in the morning, then
leave it to simmer on the back burner all day
drank that
long. By mid-afternoon you couldn't quite
float a horseshoe in what oozed out of the pot
— but almost.
It had the consistency (and taste) of
industrial grade road tar. And today?
Today apron -clad baristas croon of "hints
of candied peaches and raspberries" in
Kenyan coffee, the "beguiling floral bou-
quets" emanating from Ethiopian brews or
the "dense, chocolaty notes" to be found in
Guatemalan blends.
And we're no longer slugging it back
in chipped china mugs hunched over a
counter at the local Greasy Spoon. Now
we're encouraged to rendezvous with our
coffee in boutique -style `roasteries' where, on
especially sacred occasions, ecclesiastical
baristas preside over coffee tastings
(they're called `cuppings') and pontificate
on the finer points of coffee, from bean
to cup.
It's all very twee and several light
years away from the spoonful of Nescafe
in a handleless mug that powered me
through (okay, half -way through) college,
but hey, it's all coffee. And as
American filmmaker David Lynch says,
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee
at all.
End, as Tony would say, of story.
`Failure to follow instructions'
As an Ontario native, I felt that report
cards were something for which I
never reaped full benefit.
When I was younger, report cards were
changed from written messages for each
individual student to teachers having to select
from a list of generic (and honestly not very
useful) comments.
Soon after that, letter grades were replaced
by number grades, which always seemed a
little arbitrary to me.
I don't see the importance of further
breaking down results from the plus -and -
minus letter system. It was pretty easy to
figure out so the change to numbers seemed
completely unnecessary.
A "D" was a 55, with the minus and plus
covering the four integers on either side. "C"
was 65, with the plus and minus again being
those numbers on either side. A "B" was a 75,
in the same manner and an "A" was a 90 (with
the minuses covering the low 80s and the
pluses covering the high 90s).
What's the difference between a 62 and a
64? Who cares? Right?
Anyway, the one comment that came up
often on my report cards was, and I'm
paraphrasing here, failure to follow
instructions.
In hindsight, that is a really bad term to use
when describing how a student achieves.
I always completed my assignments as
instructed. The failure to follow instructions
came when I finished the assignment and had
to sit quietly while some of the other students
finished their work.
In short, I could sometimes prove to be a
distraction to those around me if I didn't
have something to keep me busy and the
only way a teacher with a limited set of
statements to choose from could explain that
was, as I stated above, failure to follow
instructions.
It didn't mean I didn't do my work or didn't
achieve well, it meant I didn't always listen
when someone told me to be quiet or put my
head down or... well, let's just stick with the
distracting others statement.
Over the weekend, however, I stumbled on
to a few Huron County drivers who had, in
every sense of the statement, failed to follow
Denny
Scott
Denny's Den
the instructions that have been drilled into our
psyches over time and made all the more
important over the past few years.
Sunday was a pretty important day in Huron
County: It was the annual Goderich Triathlon.
Two members of the North Huron Publishing
Company team, The Citizen Editor Shawn
Loughlin and The Rural Voice Editor Lisa Pot
took part in the event with Shawn being part of
a team that tackled it and Lisa taking it on her
own.
Just to answer the question now, yes,
working as an editor does require you to be
involved in the cycling/running/swimming
community. I'm not sure how, it just happens
that way.
I had to make a quick trip from Goderich to
Blyth and back early that day. On my way to
Blyth, I saw the signs for the event and made a
mental note to watch for cyclists on my way
back as they would be on County Road 25,
Provincial Highway 21 and into the town of
Goderich.
I didn't see any until I was on my way
back to Goderich when I spotted one near
Carlow. I slowed down because, even though
the cyclist was on the other side of the road
and travelling towards me, I knew that I didn't
want to get in a situation where anything bad
can happen.
As I continued, I noticed two things that
were in constant supply.
First, there was a steady stream of cyclists
on County Road 25 right up to the intersection
of Highway 21 and then another steady stream
from there right into Goderich and there was
an (un)healthy supply of idiot drivers who
should have their licences revoked.
Eastbound vehicular traffic on County Road
25 was mixed in with the cyclists and I don't
think I've ever seen people doing such stupid
things behind a vehicle steering wheel as
I did on Sunday.
Eastbound drivers, mixed in with eastbound
cyclists, would attempt to pass the cyclists as I
was travelling westbound beside them.
That sentence seems far too short to
emphasize how stupid an act that was, so I'll
say it again.
People tried to fit their vehicle, a cyclist
and my vehicle, three abreast, on the roadway,
with little to no care about hitting me or the
cyclist.
Of all places, I hoped that Huron County,
had learned to drive safely around cyclists
after witnessing, both inside and outside its
borders, pain unimaginable wrought by
collisions.
If it had happened once, I would've chalked
it up to someone being from out of town but I
saw vehicle after vehicle attempting the same
stupid thing: passing cyclists while oncoming
vehicles were in the same space they needed to
safely not hit the cyclist.
It would seem that, much like my bored
childhood self, some people in Huron County
are guilty of failing to follow simple
instructions.
I get the frustration of having to go slower
than you want, trust me. My trip back to
Goderich included some time spent behind
some cyclists and, without any spoilers for
next week's column, I had an extremely
important reason to get to Goderich.
Somehow, however, I was able to wait until the
southbound portion of Highway 21 where
there are two lanes going up the hill into
Goderich before I passed them. I waited until
it was safe, gave enough space, and passed and
got on with my day.
There is no reason that other drivers could
not have done the same thing.
Share the road, slow down when necessary
and let's be better Huron County. It's the only
way to make sure everyone stays as safe as
possible.
Final Thought
You have enemies? Good. That means
you've stood up for something, sometime in
your life.
— Winston Churchill
Tri some humble pie
On Sunday, hundreds of athletes, both
local and visitors, took to the streets
and the trails of Huron County (mostly
around Goderich and Auburn) for the Goderich
Triathlon. I was one of them and let's just say
that I left Goderich's beach with a new
appreciation for what it is triathletes can do
with their bodies.
I was part of a relay team — named Tri-
annosaurus Flex (if they gave out medals for
team names, I feel we may have had a
chance) — where Jess would run 10 kilometres,
my friend Brett would swim one kilometre and
I would bike the 42.5 kilometres
Things didn't get off to the cracking start we
had hoped for. Brett had been training
rigorously for the swim since winter only to
view high waves and vicious whitecaps in
Lake Huron. The swim had been cancelled.
So Brett now had to run five kilometres — a
completely different skill set and collection of
muscles. This is in addition to Jess's late
addition to the team after our initial runner
came down with an injury. Jess only had a few
weeks to train and when it came down to it, we
spent most of the time preparing the house for
our house guests the weekend of the triathlon,
rather than preparing our bodies for the race.
On my cycling route, which began at the
beach, ran up Hwy. 21 to Blyth Road, across to
Base Line in Auburn and back to Goderich
through Benmiller and back up Hwy. 21, I
encountered nasty winds and hills that no man
or woman should ever have to cycle.
However, so did everyone else. So to see
these local athletes, some of whom I know like
Blyth's Carla Pawitch and North Huron
Publishing's Lisa Pot, finish the entire event in
times ahead of relay teams, it puts the athletic
spectrum into perspective.
Take the tough conditions Jess encountered
during her run, the unexpected challenges
presented during my bike ride and the last-
minute curve ball of an additional five -
kilometre run for Brett when a swim was
expected — and then have one person do all
three. It puts you in awe of these people.
So to walk in with swagger and walk out
with a limp and a bit of a bruised ego is a little
disheartening, but as many told us that day: we
finished, and that is an accomplishment.
After finishing my cycling leg of the race
and wanting nothing more than to dive into a
pit of equals parts ice packs and teddy bears (if
such a thing exists), I was reminded of my first
few rides on actual road after training
extensively on an indoor trainer.
I felt confident. I had been building up
muscles in my legs and bettering my
cardiovascular health, but when I was out on
the road and hit my first hill, it was like I was
starting over again.
Climbing a hill uses a whole different set of
muscles and presents an entirely different
challenge. I thought back to that feeling after
my triathlon leg — like nothing could have
prepared me for just how tough it is. And,
again, it caused me to look at the people
completing all three legs as athletic giants and
as people we should all look up to.
So the next time you're speaking to a
neighbour or a friend who has completed a
triathlon, don't be tempted to brush it off as a
"weekend warrior" excursion or a hobby. Be
sure to look upon their accomplishment in all
its glory, because it is no small feat.
In related news, my unwarranted confidence
and plans to run a complete, individual
Olympic -sized triathlon at next year's event
have been shelved for the forseeable future.
Keep checking back for further updates.