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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2016-02-18, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2016. PAGE 5. Other Views Come to the bar with me, folks I11 just come right out and say it: I love bars. I love the watering -hole camaraderie, the dim lights, the clinky glasses and the plinky music — the whole - refuge -from -home, far -from the -madding - crowd wombiness of the bar experience. I love it. Which is weird because I don't drink. Used to. I gave up drinking years ago after one too many miserable morning -afters involving a conversation punctuated with several repetitions of "OH MY GOD I DID WHAT?" I still go to bars though and have a fine old time. Why not? Ordering alcohol isn't mandatory, the coffee pot's always on and there's a raft of non -befuddling liquid refreshments to be had — cola, ginger ale, fake beer or my fave: cranberry juice and soda with ice. Stirred, not shaken. Do I feel like a delicate orchid surrounded by hearty two-fisted boozers? I do not. Here's a tip for anyone who cringes at the idea of sipping a sarsaparilla in a forest of shot glasses and beer mugs: Nobody cares what you're drinking. They won't even notice! As for the bartender, she'll be delighted to be asked to serve up something other than the Hubris usual rye -and -coke or Molson Lite. Besides, your bartender can use all the business she can get. Bars are in trouble these days. Statistics Canada says bar revenues have declined a whopping 35 per cent in the past 15 years. Why? Tougher drinking and driving laws for one thing. It is very expensive and inconvenient to tie one on, try to drive home and be pulled over by the cops. If you blow over .08 where I live, you will be fined $500, your car will be impounded for four weeks and your licence yanked for three months. You will also be enrolled in a mandatory Responsible Driving course and the steering column on your car will be graced with an ignition Interlock system which will ensure that you can't start your car if you've been drinking. Oh, and those last two items — the driving course and the interlock thingamajig — will cost you a further $2,000 give or take a loonie. Not stupid enough to drink and drive? You're still going to get dinged. It costs a bomb to spend the evening throwing back shots at a bar. Waking up with a bloated head and a dehydrated wallet is just too, well, expensive. There is one other reason old-fashioned bars are on the Endangered Species list: cell phones. Seems like only yesterday folks used to meet up at the pub to have a couple of beers, shoot the breeze, discuss the news, maybe make plans to take in a movie or a hockey game. Actually, physically getting together with friends was the point. Now those same folks get together online. They also have ice floe -sized flat screens on their living room walls and Netflix on their browsers. And who needs to go downtown to meet in a bar when your best friends can send you Instagrams of what they ate for dinner? Brave New World — all of us hunched over our pixilated campfires developing dowagers' humps as we stare like zombies into the glow. Alone. Together. Jeez. It's enough to drive a guy to drink. one of my favourite words ve always been a big fan of the modern interpretation of hubris that being extreme pride or self-confidence leading to some of the best downfalls in history and mythology, not the least of which is Icarus. Icarus, son of the master craftsman Daedalus, tried to escape the city of Crete with his father, using wings crafted of feathers and wax. Daedalus warned Icarus not to fly too low, as the moisture of the sea would weigh down the wings, or too high as the heat of the sun would melt the wax in the wings. In his hubris, Icarus flew too high, melting his wings and plummeting back to the sea and drowning. Boasting you can do something is an invitation for something to show up and stop you. That's how hubris is best illustrated. Think on George W. Bush's slightly premature "Mission Accomplished" statement, Napoleon and Hitler deciding to try to invade Russia and, if you're inclined to follow such doctrine, the fall of Satan. Lucifer was the very first victim of hubris. In some writings, most notably John Milton's (author of the epic Paradise Lost), Satan is happier to be the king of Hell than serve in Heaven which, in my mind, is the ultimate expression of hubris. The Titanic is also one of my favourite tales of hubris. (The tale of the actual ship, not the movie Titanic.) Dubbing a ship unsinkable is inviting catastrophe (and eventual sinking) and is as effective as drilling holes in the hull of the vessel. Now, don't get me wrong, the idea of the Titanic was an amazing one; build a ship that could handle hull breaches thanks to the use of special bulkheads Through the design, up to four of the 16 compartments in the ship could be breached and it would be able to stay afloat. Unfortunately for the people on the boat (including that band that just kept playing), six compartments were breached which was more than the structure of the ship could handle. Trying to create a ship (even one where only the very rich could afford to have life boats) that could limp along even after 10 Denny Scott 1111411. Denny's Den taking on water is a great idea. In a time when boats were a major means of transportation for both goods and people, finding a way to make them safer should be an easy sell. Finding a way to make them safer, however, and then calling them invulnerable is inviting some serious comeuppance. So why so much focus on the Titanic? Well, it's probably because it's going to happen again. Clive Palmer, an Australian businessman and politician, has decided to recreate the Titanic through his company Blue Star Line, a passenger and cargo shipping company. The new ship, to be dubbed the Titanic II, is set to launch in 2018 and will run from Jiangsu, China to Dubai. The ship will be a dead ringer for its namesake, though it will, according to Palmer, be built to modern standards and have enough lifeboats to make sure Jack and Rose don't have to fret over who gets to stay on the door - turned -raft awaiting rescue. (Oh, and, by the way, there was enough room for two on that door.) As of right now, most of the images of the ship are rendered with 3D software and little about the boat has been revealed except that it has had its launch pushed back several times. The original Titanic cost $7.5 million USD near the turn of the 19th century to craft while the estimated cost of the new iteration of the doomed ship will cost $433 million. As far as statistics go, the vessel will hold 2,435 passengers (compared to the original's capacity of 2,223), have 900 crew (compared to 885), be 885 feet long (compared to 882 feet, nine inches), have identical height (174 feet) and speed capability (24 knots) and have lifeboat capacity of 2,700. Woah, wait a second, 2,435 passengers and 900 crew, or 3,335 people, are supposed to fit in life boats with space for 2,700. That's not good. The new ship will have a welded hull instead of a riveted one, use a diesel-electric propulsion system instead of steam engines and use modern technology to be more than the original ship ever could be. I'm sure all that fancy technology will make it all the easier to find when it's sitting at the bottom of the ocean. Okay, maybe that's a bit dire, but rebuilding a boat that was famous for being called unsinkable and then sinking seems as dead a match for hubris as any example I can provide. I guess there is only one saving grace for this boat — in the years before the original Titanic set sail, there was a book called The Wreck of the Titan which talked about a ship that was very similar to the Titanic and was released 12 years before the construction of the Titanic even began. The Titan was 800 feet long, had too few lifeboats, suffered near -identical damage from an iceberg, had a similar number of passengers and saw a similar loss of life as the Titanic. The prophetic book had even more similarities, though I don't have the room to share them all. As I said, that might be the Titanic II's saving grace — that no one has forecast the destruction of a similarly named ship in any kind of media... oh wait. Doctor Who, a few years back, featured a Christmas special about a spaceship built to resemble the original Titanic. Called Voyage of the Damned, the special featured musician Kylie Minogue as well as a spaceship built to be identical to the Titanic (except in space). It was called the Titanic, and was hit by an asteroid causing significant damage to the ship. Approximately 2,000 people were lost in the destruction before the titular character of the show was able to stop the ship from crashing into earth. I'm sure that's all just coincidence, right? A replica of the Titanic struck by disaster causing massive loss of life? It couldn't happen again, could it? Shawn ornal Loughlin Shawn's Sense Bordertown Cafe (s) There is plenty to applaud in last week's joint announcement from North Huron and Morris-Turnberry. For me, though, what's foremost among them is simply the idea behind it. As you will know by now, North Huron and Morris-Turnberry last week announced they would be sharing a number of services beginning this summer, including public works and building services. There is a comprehensive story about it in this week's issue of The Citizen. The story details the genesis of the concept and what it will mean for ratepayers, both in terms of their wallets (apparently, good news) and in terms of service (also, apparently, good news, at least according to those making the decision). As a North Huron homeowner, this is something that should make me happy for a number of practical reasons. But, really, why it makes me happy is more macro than it is micro. I love seeing two municipalities look beyond their borders. There are plenty of people who agree with me on this and it's certainly not a new concept. In fact, there are a number of municipal councillors right now who think going to a single -tier Huron County system is the way of the future. I can't say I'm there yet, but this willingness to work together and to see beyond the made- up municipal borders is certainly an encouraging step in the right direction. In Blyth sits one of the best examples of why this is a necessity. Look at the Emergency Services Training Centre (also the home of the Fire Department of North Huron's Blyth station) and Sparling's Propane — both important institutions of Blyth and both... in Central Huron. If you were to look on a map and associate those entities with a community, it would most certainly be in Blyth, but they are technically in Central Huron. This has led to the necessity of Central Huron and North Huron working together on projects just south of Blyth in a logical and common-sensical manner. There have been hiccups, for sure, but for the most part, these communities have found a way to work together, perhaps most importantly in a way that can benefit the area as a whole, but at the same time retain a community's individuality. But in those negotiations, just as with the shared services between North Huron and Morris-Turnberry, the starting point has to be a willingness to think in terms of a community, not in terms of borders. That was one of the major talking points in the work of the newly -formed Economic Development Board. The board, a vehicle of Huron County, will identify economic opportunities regardless of geographical locations. If three neighbouring lower -tier municipalities can offer tourists a great experience by working together, then that's what they'll do. The days of fighting over potential tourism dollars are over, the board said. It is time to adopt the concept that a rising tide raises all boats. Tourists don't have to hand over their passport to go from North Huron to Morris- Turnberry or from Huron East to West Perth. They don't look at our communities that way, so why then should we? Perhaps when the sun is shining on us all, that level of competition makes sense. But when times are tough and dollars are hard to come by, it is time to think outside the box and, indeed, outside of the municipal borders.